Hulk's Smashing Canadian Christmas
It is Christmas Eve. Stockings are hung. Yuletide carols are being sung by a choir. Some children have gone to sleep with sugar plum fairies dancing in their heads while others are spying to see if reindeer really know how to fly.
Somebody somewhere is roasting chestnuts on an open fire. And right now, the man known as Wolverine wishes that he was with them.
"HULK"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the snow covered ground.
"IS"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the ground again.
"STRONGEST"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the ground again.
"ONE"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the ground again.
"THERE"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the ground again.
"IS!"
Hulk smashes Wolverine's face into the ground one more time.
Momentarily satisfied, Hulk stops and stands triumphantly over his fallen foe. Wolverine's face is battered and bruised, but far less so than it was just a few seconds before. The snow is stained with Wolverine's blood. Several of his teeth are lying on the ground. He spits out two more teeth and replacements begin to grow immediately.
Suddenly, the chilly silence is pierced by the sound of jingle bells and reindeer hooves.
A loud, cheerful voice says,
"Ho! Ho! Ho!"
Hulk turns around and sees a fat man in a red suit with a wide black belt and black boots. He has white hair and a long white beard. He is smiling broadly.
Hulk: "Why is Fat Man smiling? What does Fat Man want with Hulk?"
Santa: "I came to give you your Christmas present."
Hulk: "Fat Man wants to give Hulk a present?"
Santa: "Yes."
Santa hands Hulk a very large box wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.
Santa: "Merry Christmas, Hulk!
(looks at Wolverine who is just now rising to his knees): "And Merry Christmas to you too, Logan!"
Logan: "Bah humbug."
Hulk: "Hairy Runt not talk to Hulk's friend like that!"
Hulk kicks Wolverine in the face.
Santa: "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"
The jolly old elf gets into his sleigh. Wolverine is slowly getting up again.
As Santa starts to fly away Logan yells,
"Hey! Where's my Christmas present!"
Hulk: "Hairy Runt is probably on naughty list."
THE END