disclaimers: wk isn't mine. i wonder why it became a habit to type this in every single fic and chapter i write.
a/n: a one-shot [short] fic about youji contemplating and observing aya.


Drowning in Silent Contemplation

Every time I meet his gaze, every time I look into his eyes, I never fail to find myself drowning in their violet depths.

Aya moves with grace, either with a flower arrangement, a hose, a watering can, or more so, with a katana. His steps are precise, his moves seem to be calculated even before he makes it. And even though I know I might be exaggerating, it isn't far from truth.

I continue to observe, shades a bit down on my nose, chin perched in my palm, watching and following each and every move of our redheaded companion.

He is a leader in every way you look. He orders us with an air of confidence, but never looks down on us. He treats us equally, and even though he doesn't show it, he respects each of what we can do, of our skills and specialty. He is perfect in every angle I have managed to glimpse at.

I can't help wondering how he was before. Does he always smile and talk or is he as clammed up as he is now?

He manifests a single rose in a bush. Proudly standing, though seemingly humble. Thorns bringing blood to anyone who touches it, unless he is careful.

How I sometimes wish to see a smile painted in his face, rather than a scowl or a frown. I wish that he'd turn his eyes on me, carrying not a glare, but just a look, friendly, caring.. whatever. Just not his usual glower.

But Aya has his barriers slammed down, feeling secured within it. His mask is that of impassivity. He doesn't care and ignores what is going on around him, unless it has something to do with the team, the shop, or him. But he's attractive still.

The way he pushes his hair out of his face with his fingers combing through his red locks is just enticing. The way he flips it out of his eyes gives him a look worth drooling at if you're a fanatic girl, and just stare in admiration if you're otherwise.

I'm not gay, and I have no wish to be so. Though I don't ignore utter beauty when I see it. Call it bisexuality or whatever you wish to call it.

Aya is Aya. And Aya is beautiful, that, I don't deny.

Every time I meet his gaze, every time I look into his eyes, I never fail to find myself drowning in their violet depths...

Just like the way I am now.. Oh shit.

Face twisted in a questioning frown, Aya has his eyes on me.

On ME.

I feel my face slightly warming up. But being the veteran in this field, I controlled myself, and prevented further embarrassment by not putting his hair into shame by blushing furiously in front of him.

I wiped the surprise look off my face, and just shook my head nonchalantly, hoping that he will take it as just a passing mind drift.

I look away and tried to find myself anything to do, avoiding any more uncomfortable and humiliating scene with our redheaded leader.

As I neared to where Ken was, he said to me, "Drifting off, Youji? Again?"

I blink at him, then just smiled. "Aa.. was thinking of flowers and kittens.." I said jokingly.

"I'm sure." Ken said as I pass by, with a tone I just can't ignore.

Why do I have a feeling that he's been reading my mind?

"Well, it's a past time." I just said instead.

"Yes. Thinking of roses and how red they can be is a nice past time, ne?" He asked.

I stopped, and turned to look at him.

He just smiled innocently and went back to repotting the plants.

I might have believed that he knows nothing of my thoughts.

But then again...

He just smiled a little too innocently.


12.07.01
end