Koneko: And now, for another *cough* interesting *cough* little piece of fanfiction brought to you by Psycho B. Productions! Um, first I'd better bring out the disclaimer/explanation boy..
Zelgadiss: I'm gonna kill you when this is over. *sighs* *reads cue card* Koneko owns NOTHING besides this fic, so don't sue her. Thoughts are in italics, comments by L-sama are in bold italics. *glares at Koneko* That was a stupid disclaimer.
Phibrizo: *happily* If you want to kill her, I'll help! ^.^
Koneko: Just shut up.. -.-;
It was just your usual day in the Slayers world. Chaos and destruction filled the air. But elsewhere..
"SCHOOL?! I'M THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD, AND THE HELLMASTER TO BOOT! I DON'T NEED SCHOOL!" A certain Mazoku lord was having yet another temper tantrum.
"It's your punishment for what you pulled with that Inverse girl." Uh-oh. You shouldn't argue with your mother, especially if she's L-sama..
"But-" Phibrizo still hasn't learned his lesson, apparently..
"No buts. You're going to a human school. No Mazoku powers, either." Then Phibrizo found himself in an ordinary human school. This sucks. I don't wanna be a human! Let alone be stuck with human children for who knows HOW long! Phibrizo thought.
It's not open for discussion. YOU chose to take the form of a human child, to trick people, if I remember correctly. Poor Phibby-chan. There's no escape from L-sama, apparently.
Phibrizo looked around. He was standing in front of a red brick school building, with a playground to the side. Children were running around playing tag and dodgeball.
"Little boy, are you lost?" Some old lady wearing a blue dress had walked up to him. 'LITTLE BOY?!' IF I HAD MY POWERS RIGHT NOW..! Phibrizo fumed, then sighed. I guess I gotta at least ACT the part. But 'little boy?!'
"Um, no. Just looking. My first day here, and all." He smiled the most innocent and cute smile he could. All things considered, it was pretty darn cute.
"A new student? What's your name?" Why won't she leave me alone..?
"Phibrizo." He answered, hoping she was also a fairly stupid human who knew nothing about Mazoku. He was right.
"Well, that's an..unusual name. I'm Mrs. Smith, the 5th grade teacher here." She answered. NOO! Okaasama, if you're listening, GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'LL NEVER TRY TO HARM THE WORLD AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE, I SWEAR TO RUBY EYE-SAMA! I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH HER! Wow, who would have guessed Phibby-chan has such low tolerance for nice little old ladies?
It's your punishment, you have to deal with it. Phibrizo sighed. I hate this. I really, really hate this. Even I wouldn't do this to anyone!
"Little boy? Are you okay? Why aren't you answering me?" WHY is she STILL calling me 'little boy?!' I have a name! Phibrizo was NOT happy.
"I'm just..uh, daydreaming! That's it! What did you ask me?" Mrs. Smith looked at him strangely.
"What grade are you in?" Phibrizo looked at the ground. Great. Just great.
"5th.." He answered.
"Oh, that's lovely! I'll show you to the classroom!" Before he could get another word out, Phibrizo was being dragged into the school. I think I liked being dead better, he thought unhappily.
******
"Okay, class! What's 10 divided by 2?" Mrs. Smith was turning out to be insanely perky, as well as a nice little old lady. Phibrizo was nearly gagging from the perkiness. He looked around to see several students raising their hands and waving them in the air. Okaasama, I'll never forgive you for this.. he thought.
Wait until you find out where you'll be staying. I've arranged for a nice little foster home for you.. Phibrizo turned pale.
"Phibrizo? Are you okay? That's so terrible, being sick your first day of school!" Mrs. Smith looked sincerely heartbroken. Phibrizo decided to make sure his acting skills were still good, and fell out of his desk.
"Nurse..water..dying..HELP!" He did his best at sounding weak. It worked. Mrs. Smith's hand flew to her mouth.
"Oh my goodness! I'll be right back! Class, take care of him!" And with that she was out the door. Phibrizo forced himself not to smile, in case the class wasn't as stupid as the teacher. Some little boy had kneeled by him and was poking him with a pencil. He tried to stay still, and it worked. For about 2 seconds, until he bolted up, grabbed the pencil, and broke it.
"I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, OKAASAMA?!" He yelled, not caring if the rest of the class was staring at him, especially the little boy whose pencil he'd broken.
They're going to think you're insane.. Normally Phibrizo would have switched to telepathy, but he was way too pissed now.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK! I want my powers back, I want to kill that psychotic teacher, and most importantly, I WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" The whole class was definitely staring now, along with whispering things like "oooh," and "he said a bad word!" But Phibrizo was completely ignoring them, glaring at the ceiling with such a look that it was surprising the ceiling didn't crumble.
You're NOT getting your way this time. Now quit putting up such a fuss, I'm busy and I have better things to do than argue with you all day. Like running the world. L-sama had apparently decided that she'd had enough of Phibrizo's complaining. Phibrizo sank to the floor.
"Just let me die.." He whined, and finally Mrs. Smith ran in with the school nurse, and noticed the whole class staring at Phibrizo like he had grown 8 more heads.
"Class? What's wrong?" They all started talking at once.
"All I did was poke him with a pencil to see if he was living!"
"And he just jumped up and started yelling and swearing at the ceiling!"
"He's crazy!" Mrs. Smith and the nurse blinked, and looked at the little boy sitting on the floor, and the nurse kneeled down to Phibrizo and looked at him.
"What exactly happened here, little boy?" She asked. Not a good idea, as Phibrizo was still in his psycho 'I'm-not-gonna-be-calm-for-hours' mode. He jumped up again and resumed yelling.
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I'M NOT A LITTLE BOY!" He yelled.
Don't do it.. He ignored L-sama's warning.
"I'M THE HELLMASTER PHIBRIZO! I WANT MY POWERS BACK, AND I WANT OUT OF HERE!" Everyone in the room was now blinking like crazy.
"Little boy, we don't use those words in this school!" The nurse scolded.
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! Are you even listening to me at all?! I'm a Mazoku lord, and a powerful one! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A LITTLE BOY! I'M THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD!" Then, according to everyone in the room, he just..disappeared. Where he went still remains a mystery to this day...
******
"Phibrizo..I warned you.." L-sama was not pleased with her son.
"But Okaasama! That woman-!" Phibrizo argued. He still hasn't learned not to argue with L-sama, apparently.
"No excuses. You still have to be punished, and it'll be worse the next time. You can just stay in your room until I've decided what to do with you."
"Okaasama, PLEASE! NOOOO!" Some people (and this applies to Mazoku, too!) just never learn..
~OWARI~
~~~~~~~~
Phibrizo: ...You hate me, don't you? -.-;
Koneko: Of course not! You're my favorite Slayers villain, actually! ^.^ Anyways, any comments, questions, beggings to write a sequel, beggings to never write another fanfic, etc., as usual, can be sent to angel_beatrix@trust-me.com.
Phibrizo: Oh, I have more than a few comments..
L-sama's voice: I believe you're supposed to be elsewhere..
Phibrizo: *sigh* Yes, okaasama. *leaves*
Koneko: That was..strange.