Author's Note:
After taking this story down and reading it, I began to realize something...IT SUCKED! So I decided that it needed a little 'sprucing up'and here is the end result! Hope it's worth it!
Disclaimer: Roses are red. Violets are blue. Digimon is not mine. So NA NA BOO BOO Stick your head in....well you should be able to figure it out. ^_~
Ages are:
Jyou-26
Tai/Matt/Sora-25
Koushiro/Mimi-24
Ken/Miyako-23
Daisuke/Takeru/Hikari-22
Iori-20
Prodigal Lover
by Dream-chan
Rating: R (lotsa swearing and other not so appropriate stuff)
Editor: me, myself, and I
Email: dream_chan@hotmail.com
Prologue
Twisting a cap off a water bottle, I start to gulp, trying to relieve my parched throat. Another night. Another city. Another successful concert.
Taking a glance in my vanity mirror, all I think is one thing.
It sucks to be me.
After playing before the biggest crowd ever in my life, all I can feel is indifference. All the hard work and sacrifices I've made have been to achieve this goal, but there is one problem with all this.
No one to share it with.
Sure, I have my band mates, but I need someone who can share my success with me, instead of this constant loneliness I feel no matter who is around. Granted, we have the groupies and the other 'baggage' that comes with being part of a rock-band, but they only know the stage persona Matt...not Yamato.
Funny thing about it is, fame and recognition was all I always wanted in my life. Now that I have he fans, the parties, the stardom, and it still isn't enough for me. Call me a spoiled little rockstar, but that is truth.
Yet, I can remember a time in my life when I had everything I wanted, but was too stupid to know.
Flashback
Silky lips against mine moved in a familiar, sensual dance. Getting lost in the sensation, I tightened my hold on the man in my arms, wanting to hold him close to me; breathing the scent of the Nautica cologne I got him for his birthday last month. The answering moan almost made me forget my reason for coming here. Almost. I know that this was utterly and totally selfish on my part, but I wanted this. Just one more time...before I had to let it all go.
I'm a prick and probably a few other things once this night is through.
Pushing the warm body gently away from me, I stand up, hoping to make this as painless and quick as possible.
"Umm...Dai-chan, I have to tell you something," I began, steeling myself against his kawaii expectant face. Before I could continue, he started to apologize...another one of his endearing qualities.
"Was it the stir fry? I know that it's not as good as yours, but-" he rambled, obviously feeling as if that was the worst possible thing he could ever do.
"No no...dinner was fine." I reassured him, knowing that what I was about to say would make him feel worse.
"Alright then, what is it?" he asks, tilting his head in that adorable way of his.
Taking a deep breath, I will myself to be strong...for the both of us. "I just think that we should separate for awhile, you know? I mean, I'll be touring and you'll be here. It just wouldn't be fair to keep you in a relationship..." I began, before I was cut off of my carefully prepared speech.
Whatever reaction I was expecting, I have to say that Dai certainly surprised me. There was no screaming, throwing of things, or punches thrown. Instead, what I got was a boyfriend with a serious case of the giggles.
"You are so funny Yama-chan, but lemme tell you that your humor sucks! Now tell me what you really wanted to talk about," he asks, still holding on to his sides.
Grabbing his chin, I make him look at me, trying to convey with my eyes that this was no laughing matter. Gradually I could begin to see the effects of what I just said to him. His smiles and laughter disappeared to be replaced with a look of shock, and anger.
Very fierce anger.
With a growl, he gets up from the couch and starts pacing. "That is a bunch of BULLSHIT and you know it! Why are you doing this now? There's someone else, isn't there?" the young man before me fired back, heat beginning to radiate from his lithe form. Abruptly turning, he strode to the balcony doors, trying to put as much distance as he could between us.
Trying to ignore the daggers in his gaze, I made my way over to him and gathered him close to me. With a low growl, he struggled out of embrace, leaving me to let my arms hang uselessly. I watched as he stalked over to the kitchen, watching the storm that raged across Odaiba.
I continued to look at him, as he hunched over the counter, hands gripping the surface, knuckles whitening.
"Dai-chan, this is for the best. I'll be on the road with the band for a year and you know the craziness that happens, ne? I just don't want to be put in a 'comprising' situation and you having to pay the price. Besides all that, it's unfair of me to ask you to wait for me. That is why I am letting you go...." I told him in all seriousness, leaving the 'other' reason out of it.
"A YEAR?!?! A FUCKING YEAR?!?!? When were you going to tell me this? Over the phone after your first gig?" the disgust evident in his voice.
"I'm telling you now..." I said quitely, trying to placate him.
I should have known that was a stupid move.
"Thanks for small favors!" he says sarcastically, banging his fist on the countertop so hard, I winced. His hand will probably be bruised now. Another thing to blame me for.
"Daisuke, I'm trying to do what's right. You're not the only one that is being hurt here. Can't you see that this is the best way?" I snap back, my temper flaring a bit.
"No! You say I mean everything to you and all of the sudden you want to let me go. What's changed, huh? You promised me...you said..." he muttered heatedly, too angry to put together a complete sentence.
With a sigh, I took a step closer and tried once again to explain myself. "I know I did, but you have to understand...this will be better in the long run. I'm trying to keep that promise, can't you see that?"
"For you or me?" he snapped back, turning his red-hot gaze on me.
Not being able to withstand such scrutiny, I bowed my head and replied quietly, "For both of us..."
"Whatever. For all I know, you never gave a flying shit about me. Matter of fact, I know you didn't, because if you did you wouldn't be breaking up with me for some flimsy excuse like this!" he yelled back, the fury evident in his mobile features.
Feeling like the lowest piece of scum on the Earth, I could only defend myself with what I thought was truth. "You KNOW that isn't true. I care for you so much; can't you see that is why I'm doing this? It's not like I want to go, but I have to. Like I said before, I'm doing what I think is right...I don't want to hurt you."
Anymore than I already have, I added silently not wanting to add fuel to the fire.
"Since when have you done anything that you didn't want to do Mr. Rebel without a Clue? Besides, what do you think that you are doing right now, if not hurting me?"
"Will you stop twisting my words around? You know what I mean..." I answer, frustrated that he just won't accept my decision in this.
"I sure do, and you want to know what I have to say about that? Fuck it! I'm tired of always having to accommodate and please you! What about me for once? Huh?"
"Listen Dai-ch-"
"Don't even say it, not now."
"C'mon Dai...you don't mean that..."
"Like hell I do! Now GET OUT! We're not together anymore. That's what you want, right? Look, just go okay?" he said wearily, sitting on the old armchair that I helped pick out at a flea market.
"Listen...can we still be try to be friends?" I asked, knowing it was a long shot, but I still wanted to have a bond with him.
Did I mention what a selfish prick I was?
"What the HELL planet do you come from? You are breaking up with me and then have the gall to ask me to be friends?!??!? I know that you can be mean, but I never knew what a cold-hearted bastard you could be," Daisuke spat out, giving me a look of utter disgust before turning his face in the opposite direction. "Now, get out Ishida-san." he ordered me in a voice that I never heard from him.
"Please..." I say, not wanting to give up.
"I said get the FUCK OUT! NOW!" he roared, jumping up out of the chair so fast he made me back up a few steps.
"Fine. If that is the way you want things..." I said, not really wanting to leave him like this. When Daisuke gets angry, he can be destructive. I've had first hand experience.
"I do." he answered, the frost in his voice causing shivers to go down my spine.
"Daisuke," I pleaded, not wanting it to end like this. I just had to find a way to keep him in my life somehow.
Turning a tear-streaked face to mine, he pinned me with gaze that ripped at my soul. Hurt, pain, and acceptance swimming in the chocolate depths.
"Please...just leave." was all he could get out, fighting not to breakdown completely in front of me. A few seconds later, a slamming door could be heard, shaking the apartment walls with its vibrations.
With one last longing look down the shadowed hallway, I take that as my cue to leave. Pulling on my shoes, I shrug into my leather jacket, and quietly make my way out of the Motomiya/Yagami residence, pulling my collar up against the cool wind that had blew through the streets of Odaiba.
Yeah, that's right. Yagami Taichi, a player on the same amateur soccer team that Dai plays for. When I first met him, I was shocked at the uncanny resemblance that he held to Dai. Hell, the saying 'two peas in a pod' fit them to a tee. Besides outward appearances, their personalities seem to meld so well, that it was no wonder they had decided to room together. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that they were brothers. Funny thing is, Taichi's sister, Hikari is almost a complete opposite of her brother, being somewhat sedate in manner. Sometimes, I think Tai should have been a Motomiya. He would have fit right in with Dai and his slightly unbalanced sister, Jun.
Damn! That's another thing that I'm going deal with. Although they act as if they hate each other, Daisuke and Jun are very loyal. I still remember the little speech she gave me when me and Daisuke started dating, which even now gave me shivers just thinking about it.
Speaking of which, I need to put the pedal to the metal.Tai and Jun will have my head for this, seeing how he thinks of Daisuke as being his younger brother and all, while Jun is as overprotective as a mother cobra.
You've really done it this time Ishida! You are going to get a serious ass kicking when you get back...
Hunching my shoulders against the night chill, I began to think about the words Dai screamed at me. In a way, he's right. I am a cold-hearted bastard, but I couldn't take it anymore. I had to make a choice, to either hurt him now, or hurt him later. I never thought that it would come down to this. Sure, I've been on tour before, but never for this long and temptation could be a strict mistress.
I did the right thing. I know I did. Now all I have to do is convince myself.
I don't know how I even made it to the hotel where the bus was waiting, but I was extremely grateful. Shaking myself to get rid of excess moisture, I stepped into the heated air of the bus, and slumped down in the first available chair I could find.
Not five minutes later, I hear a mischievous voice pipe up, "Hey what's up man? You look like shit that's been ran over twice," Yoshi,keyboardist, pointed out tad too cheerfully for my taste
Maybe because that's how I feel. Bastard.
"Fuck Off." I reply hotly, not having the patience to deal with my band mates right now. Don't get me wrong, they're a great bunch, but sometimes...
Flipping me off, he yelled to the others, "Hey guys watch it. It seems that Yama is in one of his 'moods' again."
"Like that's anything new...." someone replied, as if it was a normal routine.
Leaning back into the plush seat of the tour bus, I stared to the ceiling, not wanting to close my eyes in fear of being haunted by the image of sun kissed skin, burgundy hair, and cinnamon eyes.
I know that a part of me will always love Dai, but I what I feel for him is not enough. I mean, if you love someone, aren't you willing to sacrifice for the other's happiness? Is it right to have lustful thoughts about others when your in a relationship.
No, and for once in my sorry life I'm going to do things the right way.
He deserves someone that will give their all to him.
Unfortunately, I'm just not cut out for the job.
End Flashback
That was three years ago and still that memory haunts me. It was really bad in the beginning, which is why I am so thankful for my brother Takeru. If it weren't for him, I would probably be more of a mess than I was.
Hearing a knock at my door, I inwardly groan, wondering what overzealous 'fan' got past security this time or a reporter that wouldn't take no for an answer.
Might as well get this over with.
"Come in," I yell out, not even turning around to see to the person.
The door opened and then closed, steady footsteps coming closer, until I felt their presence right behind me.
Before I could look in the mirror to check out my late night visitor, I heard a voice still could melt my insides.
"Long time, no see Ishida-san," they said, a hint of derision evident in the statement.
All I could do is sit there and hope that my brain wasn't playing tricks on me like it had in the past. I blinked my eyes once, and then did it again to make sure the vision before me would not disappear. This time, thank kami it didn't.
The person that had plagued both my dreams and my nightmares.
The now proclaimed soccer god and the person that still holds my heart.
Motomiya Daisuke
tbc....
Alright, alright. It might not seem that much changed, but I think that it's better than the first attempt, ne? Well readers, you can let me know by hitting that lovely button on the bottom and reviewing the fic! ^^
ja ne