Subtle hints, left here and there for the past month, were part of Kagura's plan for Gintoki to give her the much coveted present for Christmas; Pickled seaweed. But this wasn't just any ordinary seaweed; it was grown out in Planet SpongeBob, an oceanic planet many galaxies away; then it was dried out under the suns of Planet Persia; salted with the best spices from Planet Gordon Ramsey before it was packaged and sent to Earth by merchants to sell.
Kagura wanted this rare seaweed more than anything else. This rare Sea Weed Across the Galaxy, or SWAG, is a famous and very high end brand name. The very mention of the word, SWAG, perks up the ears of all those around you and is acquainted with the wealthy and those of class. Many times do customers go to department stores and go directly to the person-in-charge and ask for SWAG. Bidding wars occur, fights would ensue, just to buy SWAG. More often than not, ordinary citizens of Edo couldn't afford the 1 million yen price tag to buy a package of SWAG.
Kagura wanted it so bad. She would go for walks and purposely go to a store that would sell SWAG and stare through the display glass for minutes; even hours at end, dreaming about what it would be like to taste such a delectable treat. She saw the price tag for them and began saving up for them, however, after a short amount of time, she realized the task to be futile. That is why she wanted it for Christmas. That's why she hinted it to Gin-san for the past month. She would leave advertisements showing SWAG and purposely leave them next to Gin-san where he slept and hope that he would take notice. When the Yorozuya had work, she would go through the long process of trying to walk past a store that sold SWAG. She hoped that she would be able to get it for Christmas, more than anything else.
The Day of Christmas
Kagura woke up to the soft whispers of Shinpachi and Gintoki in the main room.
"Yo… Is this really gonna work?" she heard Shinpachi straight-man.
"Dude, totally. It'll be all Gucci, trust me," Gintoki rasped back.
"Seaweed as a Christmas present? That's a new low even for you, Gin-san," Shinpachi hissed back.
Seaweed? Could it really be? Is Gin-san such an awesome person? Kagura squealed to herself as she pulled the covers from over her head and jumped from her bed into the main room, smashing a few doors and breaking a couple of household items in the process.
"MEEEEEEEERY CHHHHHHHHHHRISTMAS!" she yelled with at the top of her lungs.
"Sheesh. Don't be so loud," Gintoki spoke back.
"Kagura-chan, here's your present from Gin-san," Shinpachi handed Kagura a poorly wrapped present.
In an instance, Kagura snatched the present from Shinpachi's hands and ripped open its contents. Frantically, with such joy, she glanced at her present. It wasn't SWAG, but Seaweed Homegrown In Texas, SHIT, as it was more commonly referred; a cheap knockoff brand.
Kagura didn't want SHIT; she wanted SWAG.
"Do you like it, Kagura?" Gintoki asked.
Kagura tried to hold in her tears of disappointment and frustration. Was this really her present?
"Kagura, you should go around to everyone you know, try to get some presents from everyone and try to make some money," Gintoki suggested.
"Shinpachi, you should help me with something, I have an errand to finish up," Gintoki continued.
"You go on ahead, Kagura."
Kagura was disappointed. She slammed her feet on the floor as she walked down the stairs to Otose's bar.
"What's wrong, Kagura?" Otose asked as she walked in.
"Nothing," Kagura muttered under her breath.
"Is it something about Gintoki?" Otose nudged on.
Kagura spat on the ground, a sign of disgust, signaling to Otose she had hit the spot with her question.
"It's Christmas, you shouldn't be so upset. You should go for a walk; I'm having a Christmas party here in a few hours, come back here and celebrate with us then."
Kagura was becoming more and more upset as she thought of the SHIT that Gintoki had bought for her. He had been out late every night, possibly from being at the pachinko parlors for too long. The same goes for Shinpachi, he has been showing up late to the Yorozuya recently also, possibly from going to Otsu concerts. Men, you can't trust them.
Then again, what was she going to expect? 1,000,000 yen for seaweed? How was Gintoki ever going to be able to raise that kind of money if he could barely afford the rent?
She had learned to accept it. Yes, she'll go to everyone and collect presents; after all, a girl like her got to be indulged with gifts.
But things got weird real quick.
She went Tae's place but there was only a letter and a package at the entrance. No one was there, just a sign.
"Hey Kagura, sorry I'm busy, my present is beneath this letter. I'll see you at Otose's party!"
Underneath was indeed a present, something wrapped nicely; Kagura opened it immediately and saw what it was, new hair buns.
The same for Kyubei's place. A letter stating the exact same thing as Tae's and a wrapped present, this one was a new dress for her to wear.
Yoshiwara was no different. Hinowa was there to greet her and gave her Tsukuyo's present, a brand new umbrella.
"Tsukuyo is busy at the moment, but she'll meet you at Otose's party."
Sacchan left her a letter and earrings. Everyone was leaving her letters and a present but no one was there to talk to. This saddened her.
Walking the streets of Kabukichou, Kagura held a handful of presents, what good was Christmas if there is no one to spend it with? Christmas isn't always about the gifts. She thought this to herself.
This defied the true meaning of Christmas, a season of happiness and family bonding, nothing of wanting and demanding gifts. Yes, she'll go to Otose's party. Everyone will be there and they will all have a blast.
As soon as she came to this conclusion on the empty Kabukichou road, she heard the loud blow of a whistle.
"Whoa there, China, where do you think you're going?" Sougo had appeared on the scene.
"I don't have time for you, Sadist," Kagura snapped at him.
"Actually, you have a serious case of Christmas Sadness, it's a pretty serious disease and it has to be quarantined immediately. Ain't that right, Yamazaki?" Sougo sung sarcastically.
"Yessir!" Yamazaki saluted. He and a group of Shinsengumi officers surrounded Kagura and formed a line.
"This way, Boss Lady, we don't want to start a fuss," Yamazaki directed.
"What's going on?" Kagura questioned defensively.
"Talk to Gorilla, he's waiting for you too, where you'll be quarantined." Sougo ordered as he pushed Kagura on ahead.
Still clutching her gifts closely, Kagura was led by Sougo and the Shinsengumi, almost like a prisoner, through the streets. What on Shinpachi's glasses was happening?
Then they arrived at Snack Otose.
"We're here, China. Don't try to infect everyone with Christmas Sadness," Sougo snorted.
Hijikata and Kondo were waiting at the front door of Otose.
"Gorilla-san, what is the meaning of this?" Kagura demanded answers.
"Now, now, just go inside. We'll fix your disease problem," Kondo urged on. Hijikata only nodded on with a puff of cigarette smoke. But she knew that Hijikata was trying to hide a smile.
Kagura walked inside. Her mouth instantly opened wide, speechless, stunned. Her eyes were widened in disbelief. She dropped all her presents onto the ground.
"Merry Christmas!" the simultaneous harmonious sound of the people inside the bar.
There were a lot of people inside the bar. Gintoki, Shinpachi, Tae, Tsukuyo, Sacchan, Kyubei, Otose, Tama, Catherine, Madao, everyone, all her friends, everyone was inside, here to celebrate Christmas with her.
Kagura was overcome with emotions; tears of happiness had flooded her face as she choked up a few times.
"We have a present for you, Kagura," Gintoki told Kagura.
"P-presents? More?" Kagura didn't know what to expect.
Gintoki walked up to Kagura and handed her much desired gift, SWAG.
"You think that I'd give you cheap SHIT? Anyone living in the Yorozuya will receive the highest quality of SWAG for Christmas!" Gintoki boldly declared.
Kagura was shocked. In her hands was a package of SWAG, not a knock off brand, the real deal.
"How could you afford something like this? How did you know this is what I wanted?"
"Do you take for some fool? I picked up the hints the minute you started dropping them," Gintoki chuckled.
"But the price, it's 1 million yen, how could you afford that if you can't even afford rent?"
"Don't worry about that," Shinpachi and Gintoki both chuckled.
"Don't try to hide the fact that both you worked your butts off to pay for it!" Otose snapped with a laugh.
It made sense now, all the times Gintoki coming back late and Shinpachi coming in tired were because of them working to make money.
"Hey, don't forget that all of us pitched in some money too," the collective group of Kyubei, Tae, Sacchan and Tsukuyo all retorted.
Kagura was so happy; the answers really didn't matter anymore. She opened the SWAG package and took the first bite. Delicious, the juicy flavor was everything she ever imagined it to be. Overcome with emotion, she went over to everyone in the bar and gave them a hug, she couldn't help but chuckle with each hug.
"You all done with the emotional stuff yet? We gotta head to the Palace: the princess has requested you be present for an 'All Night Sleep Over Christmas Party'," Sougo had interrupted the fun fest.
"Soyo Hime? Party? Now?" Kagura exclaimed with excitement.
"Did you think that we were just here to drag you here to some cheap bar? No, we're here to escort you to the Palace," Sougo snapped sarcastically.
Kagura was too happy, no words could describe her emotions, and everything was so perfect. This, now she gets to go visit Soyo Hime and spend the night at the Palace?
The party was on.
*Author Note: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!
*A Yorozuya Soul Secret Santa Gift to kurasuchi