The Heartbeat
By: Tears of Ten
To: Everyone who loves Jake.
Authors note/announcements: I have a new e-mail address
:crazy4jake@email.com
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My name is Jake.
I'm slowly going crazy. It gets to me.
Marco laughs off the pain.
Tobias is used to the pain.
Ax ignores the pain; he's too good for it.
Cassie cries about the pain.
Rachel feeds off the pain.
I take it. I take the pain. All the suffering, hatred, misery. I don't love it. I don't go around acting all noble. I'm an idiot. I don't like leadership. It's repulsive and sickening.
I do wish I could take it all back.
I surprise myself.
I really do. After all this. And I'm not worthy of life. Animorph life is so, so, so glamorous. Glamorous as it is, I'm sick of it. I can't quit the Animorphs. They need me. They need a leader. But do I need myself? No, I don't. So, if I had a chance, just one, to take it all back. Go back through my memory. Find out what I did to deserve this.
Nothing.
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Cassie! Your left! Cassie dodged the Hork-Bajir, and in turn slashed his throat.
I had some problems too. Like, the Hork-Bajir closing in on me.
I brought him down. Slashed his throat. Blood poured form his open wound. He staggered and fell.
In the distance, I heard a bear growl. And the last victim fell to the ground. And then Rachel roared again, in pure pleasure. She was high like a drug addict, but instead of crack, it was the battle that got her giddy.
I looked across the battlefield. I don't even know what the raid was about. We were in a small building some sort of Yeerk company. All I remember was the pain.
I squeezed my eyes to shut it out.
I demorphed, ignoring the pain.
Marco sauntered over, more or less himself with black fur still on his face, and huge ham-sized fists.
Cassie demorphed. Tears filled her eyes.
Marco smiled weakly. 'Wow. Some fight there. Rachel must be high as a kite.'
Rachel ambled over -still in morph- and raised a hand at Marco. Well, I see I have one more victim.
Marco laughed. Then looked a little sick.
Ax, himself, was quiet.
Tobias landed on the ground. Looks like we're done.
'Yep,' replied Marco. 'Homeward bound.'
It's horrible. All of it. But the best remedy for pain is to forget. But, I can't forget.
I heard a sound like a Hork-Bajir cry.
JAKE! screamed Rachel.
A lone Hork-Bajir stood, bleeding, wounded, missing a hand. It was still alive. It's lifted it hand-
FLASH!
I looked down. I was on the ceiling. My body, lifeless and limp lay there. Rachel, with one swipe, killed the Hork-Bajir. It fell.
But Cassie, Ax, Marco and Tobias had already rushed to my side. There was a great gash in my head. It seeped pools of blood. My face was calm. Still.
Cassie began to sob. 'He's dead!'
Rachel, now the blonde, beautiful cousin I know, rushed over.
She looked my face. She touched my arm. A strange look came over her face.
Her eyes glistened.
'No, no, lord no. Not Jake,' she sobbed.
Cassie knelt down beside me. She took my hand. 'I love you Jake.'
FLASH!
There was a brilliant light. I was in a tunnel. Light washed over the walls, causing them to glow radiantly like the sun. I couldn't stare into the main light. It was way too bright. But it was warm and friendly.
As I got closer, the light got brighter. Until I stopped.
At the end of the tunnel was the most indescribable beauty I'd ever seen.
I can't tell you what it looked like.
It was a dream.
I saw other people. Young, old.
Then someone touched my arm. 'Jake?'
I spun around. There stood a young woman with light brown hair, a silk ivory white gown. She had wings. Her face glowed. She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.
'Yes?' I asked.
'My name is Selenia. I'm your guardian angel.'
My jaw dropped.
She smiled.
'Angel? Then I'm… dead?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She looked solemn and nodded.
'Am I in… heaven?'
'No. You're in a waiting room of sorts. It's where you meet with your guardian angel to sort out matters on earth, and get a last chance to do things.'
'So…I can go back?'
She nodded. I looked around the room. Other angels, male and female, talked with the other people.
'What do I have to do?'
'Well, the thing is, is that the people who haven't fulfilled their purpose, or it isn't their time come here.'
'What have I not done?'
'It's like this Jake, you have twenty-four hours to get your deeds done. If you complete them, your soul will be set free. If not, you'll be a ghost.'
'So, then I come to heaven?'
'Maybe. It all depends on if it's your time to go. If not, no. If so, yes.'
I rubbed my hands together. 'What do I have to do?'
'I don't know,' she admitted. 'Whatever you never did, but wanted to do.'
'Everything?' I echoed.
'Only the things that matter.'
'Am I mortal?'
'Yes, in a sense. But you can only communicate with the chosen ones. Whoever they may be.'
'When does it start?'
RIGHT NOW, called a voice. And suddenly, I was back in the building.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'So, how do we tell his parents?' asked Rachel. She was sitting on a small table.
'Accident?' suggested Marco.
Cassie was still crying. Her sobs made my own heart ache.
I wanted to touch her, and hold her. I love her.
No, that is like so obvious. Maybe we tell them the truth, said Tobias, emotionlessly.
No.
'Who said that?' demanded Rachel. She sprang to her feet.
You can't….
My mouth formed words. My mouth? I felt my hands. I was free.
'…Do that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friends stared. I looked down at my hands like I'd never seen them.
'Jake?' cried Marco.
'Jake?' asked Rachel.
Jake?!
Prince Jake?
'Jake,' said Cassie. She ran over and gave me a hug. And wrapped me up for a kiss. It was long and powerful. I loved the way it feels when Cassie kissed me. I get a warm glow from inside. She evaporated all my fear and anger.
She cast a glance at my body.
'You're you.'
'I know,' I whispered back. 'Ain't it great?'
She pulled back. 'But you can't be. I saw you die.'
'I'm back.'
How, Prince Jake? We all saw you die.
'There's an after life, a heaven. I have a guardian angel named Selenia! There's a God!'
Normally Marco would've rolled his eyes. But he just stared in awe.
'Jake.' Rachel felt my face. 'You're cold. You're still dead!'
'No. I'm a… to put it this way, yes I'm dead. I'm a ghost.'
Marco backed up.
'I need your help. I have duties and-'
'First,' said Marco, holding up his hand, as if in school, 'What kind of duties?'
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'Well, the thing is I've never told my parents,' I said.
'Anything else?'
'I've never done lots of things! I can't think!'
'You never grew up,' said Cassie.
'I can't in twenty-four hours!'
'No, but you can… no…'
'I have to tell my parents good-bye.'
'We've already covered that!'
'Do you have any ideas?' I asked.
'No.'
'I have one though,' I said.
What? asked Tobias.
'Free Tom.'
'You can't!' yelled Rachel
'Why not?'
'Because. This is Toooooom!' she said. 'You can't! You're… not even alive.'
'Rachel! Don't get hostile. I have a better idea,' said Cassie.
What? asked Tobias.
'Spend our last hours with Jake.'
'That's what we're doing.'
'I don't mean that. I mean, specially.'
'Like how?'
'Like… telling him secret's we've kept behind our back or telling him how much we love him. Or just enjoying the moment.'
'I second it,' said Marco, with a grin.
I third it, announced Ax, with a strange Andalite smile.
So do I.
'I say,' said Rachel. 'We hurry up. We have only twenty-four hours.'
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I walked into the living room. No one knew. The TV was playing some game show.
My mom was watching the TV with my dad. Tom was at a Sharing meeting. Perfect timing for this…
I became visible, slowly.
'Oh, hi Jake.'
'Hi, mom.'
'Where have you been all day?' asked dad.
'Oh, hanging with friends. Mom, turn off the TV. I have to talk.'
My mom picked up the remote and hit the 'power' button.
'Is it something personal?' asked my dad.
'You could say that.'
My mom ushered me to sit down. I walked over, and gingerly sat on the couch as if it would break.
'So, what is it sweetie?' asked my mom. I wrapped my arms around her for a round her.
Then I hugged my dad.
'I love you. I love you mom and dad.' Tears pricked my eyes.
My mom looked concerned. 'What's the matter?'
'Is something wrong?' asked my father.
'You aren't going to believe me.'
'Try us. We're not that old.'
I actually smiled a bit.
'Mom, dad? I have a secret. It's a very, very, very bad one, and I'm so surprised I haven't told you sooner.'
'Are… doing drugs or anything? You can talk to us.'
'I'm an Animorph.'
'An Ani-what?'
'An Animorph.' I poured out the story. Elfangor, Tobias, everything.
'If you don't believe me, watch.'
My fur began to sprout. I shrank rapidly. My claws grew. My nose began to smell more.
My hearing became extremely acute.
I was a dog.
See?
My mom's eyes went wide. She had tears in them. As soon as I demorphed, I walked over to them.
'And one more thing: I'm dead.'
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'Dead?'
I told them the long story there too.
My mom was crying. So was my dad.
I stood up. 'I promised my last hours to my friends. I love you. I love both dearly.' I hugged them both. I vanished. Crying all the while.
I walked to the barn. Cassie's barn.
Inside were my friends.
The last hours of my life I spent with them.
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Then hours later, I felt my body being pulled on. Someone was calling me home.
'Bye Cassie.'
We kissed along sorrow filled kiss.
'Good bye Marco.'
Marco looked away.
'Good bye Rachel.' Rachel hugged me. And she wept.
'Good bye Ax.'
Ax was silent.
'Good bye Tobias.'
FLASH!
Then I was back in the tunnel of brilliant light.
'Happy now?' I asked Selenia.
Selenia nodded. 'No. You are sad. And I have something to tell you.'
'What?'
'No one weeps in heaven. But that's not where you're headed.'
My heart stopped.
'It's not your time to die.'
'What?'
She smiled. 'Yes. You're going back to Earth. And everything is the way it should be…'
I traveled through another tunnel.
Memories of my life, in order of when they happened flashed before my eyes.
My mother smiling at me from above my crib.
Tom and I playing a game together.
My father and I playing.
Meeting Marco.
Turning my nose up when I had to play with Rachel.
Eating my favorite ice cream.
My first day of school
My parents chiding me for misbehaving.
Meeting Cassie.
Playing basketball with Marco
Having my first crush.
My first day of middle school.
The night we got our powers.
The battles.
The memories.
I and Cassie's first kiss.
Dying.
This moment.
Living.
Loving.
My heartbeat.
I awoke. I was still laying there.
'He's coming to!' shouted Rachel.
Prince Jake!
'Are you all right, man?' asked Marco. 'That old Hork-Bajir popped you pretty good.'
Rachel smiled. 'I took care of him for you.'
'I'm not dead?'
Tobias laughed. Not yet.
'Then it was a dream!' I hopped to my feet.
'I'm alive!'
'Are you all right?'
Cassie walked over to me and hugged me. We exchanged a quick kiss.
No of it was real. My parent's didn't know.
No one knew.
'I was worried.'
'It's all right,' I said, soothingly. I was holding her in my arms.
'Oh, Jake. I don't want to lose you.'
'I'm here now. Everything's okay.'
We parted and we walked our separate ways.
Tired and drained.
'Cassie?' She stopped walking and looked up.
'If I never get another chance to tell you, I love you.'
And that night, I told my parent's the same thing, while Tom made fun of me, I'm grateful I could say those few words, 'If I never have another chance to tell you, I love you.'
THE END