Sometimes you feel an incredible amount of destiny come over you, as if something is meant to be.
It was like that when Squall and Seifer met. I knew that no matter what I did, nothing would keep them apart, for better or for worse. I tried, of course. I had to, for their sakes - I didn't want them to get into anything they didn't understand before they were old enough to know what they wanted. And I didn't really want them to shut everyone else out from them. They were special, yes, but even they could argue and I feared the day that they would not make friends again. I feared that Squall and Seifer would be alone, at least for a time, if they ever argued.
Standing before me now, proud, an adult, and quite possibly more worldly than I will ever be, Seifer brought that helpless little ache to my heart again - the ache all mothers must feel to see their sons grown and flown. He is the closest thing I have to a son - none of the others ever quite needed me as much as he did, however little he cared to admit it, and he still does need me, my approval, more than the others. Squall was independent, Irvine laid back, and Zell has his adopted parents... I have no right to any of them. But Seifer, he is almost my son.
And the arm he had wrapped almost possessively around Squall made that old feeling of destiny come over me again. Squall and Seifer, meant to be. I couldn't have kept them apart forever if I tried, but perhaps it is better this way.
I remember everything they did as children. The way they would team up against the others, and still they'd win - probably from sheer stubbornness. Squall adored Seifer with all his little heart, and I think Seifer felt the same way, though he showed it more possessively than Squall ever did. And when Squall started to withdraw, well, he was furious.
I think I like remembering them best when I did let them be together. Sweet six year old kisses, cuddling - it was scary for me, to watch them, and feel that helplessness, that my boys would grow up and perhaps hurt each other... but I let them be sometimes.
The only people Seifer ever truly apologised to, I think, were me and Squall. He never dared stay defiant with me for long, and with Squall, Seifer would do anything for Squall if he just asked, so lowering himself to apologise was easy enough for him back then, though he wouldn't admit it now. There were times when he would creep into Squall's bed, wrap his arms around him, and apologise softly and insistently until Squall would turn to him, soft eyed, and snuggle against him.
I'm truly happy they have each other. Squall has that sweetly shy look on his face I've only ever seen on his face a few times - and that when he was a child and not so guarded - and always inspired by Seifer. And Seifer looks immensely pleased with himself.
Seifer bends his head, kisses Squall's cheek gently. They seem lost in their own little world of each other as I turn and leave quietly. No matter what befalls them now, there is no need to keep them apart, and I know I'm not welcome in that moment.