This chapter is set in the Occupation, when Kira Nerys was twelve years old.
For the first time in a long time, Kira Nerys wasn't miserable. She wasn't happy, either, she couldn't ever remember actually being happy. But at that moment, she was almost content with her life. Though she and every other Bajoran she knew were slaves to cruel oppressors and almost certainly always would be, that morning she had escaped the hard and watchful gaze of her village's Cardassian overseers. She had gone to the forest at the foot of the mountain closest to her village to pick seedberries for her father and brothers. Early that morning, she'd taken the bowl from their stack of dishes to carry her bounty in, and she was very pleased with the amount she had managed to find. It was almost six handfuls, which would certainly sustain her family for three or maybe four days. Seedberries were not easy to pick, due to their unfortunate habit of growing a protective hedge of brambles around themselves several feet thick, but Nerys had persisted for hours, scratching up her face and hands in the process, and only stopped and headed back towards her village when the mountain's shadow had disappeared, telling her it was noon.
The mountain closest to her village was only one of several dozen that made up a range running through Dakhur province. The mountains were a great source of mystery and fascination for Nerys. Her father and the other adults disappeared inside them every day for hours, herded along by the Cardassians, and always came back covered in dust and with terrible coughs. But that was not the mystery that filled Nerys's mind with awe. The mountains had many hiding places, and it was said that they were home to (Nerys glanced around, making sure she was alone with her thoughts) the Shakaar resistance cell, what the Cardassians called 'the curse of Dakhur Province.' Every week, at least, stories were passed around in whispers and behind locked doors of some Cardassian weapons depot the Shakaar had blown up or a village they had brought food and medical supplies to.
Though she secretly admired them for their bravery, Nerys didn't really understand the point of fighting. The Cardassians had been on Bajor for thirty-six years, why bother? She supposed that Resistance members had all lost someone to the mines, or a Cardassian experiment, or starvation. The only person Nerys had lost was her mother, but she barely remembered her, so she wasn't very sad about that. She had her father and two little brothers, and they were all relatively healthy. They were all she needed.
Her father Taban, like all Bajorans, was obligated by the Cardassian government to contribute something to the Cardassian Union. That meant that he had to mine uriduim, which the Cardassians used to build their ships, out of the mountains every day from dawn until far after the first stars had appeared in the sky. When her brothers turned fourteen, they would each join him, first Reon, then Pohl.
For Nerys, it meant that if she grew up to be beautiful she would have to provide 'comfort' to the Cardassian soldiers that managed her village. She didn't know what that meant, all she knew was that it must be something terrible, because tears gathered in her father's eyes any time it was mentioned, and it meant that she would never get to see her family again. A year before, Nerys had watched as a girl named Teran had been dragged out of her house to be a comfort woman. Teran's mother had wailed from the door of their little house, tears streaming down her face, as a young Cardassian soldier with bright, malicious eyes took her daughter away. Teran's father had chased after her, and had attacked the Cardassian soldier holding her possessively. Nerys had looked away then. She didn't like watching people be killed. Teran's mother hadn't been seen since, but Nerys had heard that she had run away to the mountains to join the resistance.
Taban, when he knew people could hear him, called resistance fighters ungrateful miscreants who didn't know a good deal when they saw one. The Cardassians had been a blessing from the Prophets thirty-six years ago, he always argued. The Bajorans had been enlightened to the universe around them, servitude was not much to ask in return. But when Nerys was supposed to be asleep, she often heard him slip out of his bed and pray earnestly to the Prophets, that they would grant them deliverance from the Cardassians through the Resistance. Even though she knew she was supposed to kneel to pray, Nerys stayed in her bed and silently prayed with him.
Nerys stopped in her tracks. A sound not native to the forest was rustling through the trees. It almost sounded like footsteps, and Nerys's mind instantly flew into overdrive. If a Cardassian had seen her outside of the village without permission, her seedberries would be the only food her family would have for the next two weeks. She turned so that anyone in the forest would be unable to see her face and tore off towards her village. It was more than three kilometers distant, but Nerys ran the whole way.
Her family's house was in the bustling center of the village, something Taban hated, but Nerys had always been grateful for. She never had to go very far to pick up their rations, or draw water, or find a Cardassian to beg clothes or dishes off of. Now, though, it wasn't very helpful in being inconspicuous. She knew running through the village in the hottest part of the day was a good way to attract attention, but she didn't care. Home was safe. Being at home was not suspicious. Cardassians didn't look at you too closely if you were in your own house. She bolted inside and slammed the door shut. She leaned against the door and allowed her heart a moment to slow down before she sat and sorted her seedberries into rations, giving herself the smallest portions, and stored them in the cabinet. She didn't like sorting, it always felt as though whatever pile she was sorting through got bigger as she worked on it, and it was made even more difficult by her hands, which, to her frustration, were shaking.
Calm down, you! she mentally demanded. Everything will be ok. The worst we'll get is two weeks without food. Gailis will share his rations, and we've got the seedberries.
Gailis was an old man who the Cardassians considered to frail to work productively in the mines, even though he was still strong. He had been a doctor before the Occupation, but no Bajorans were allowed to practice medicine while under Cardassian rule, so now he was just an herbalist. Villagers went to him for any symptom that wasn't life threatening, since life threatening was all the Cardassians would help with. Gailis was kind and always made Nerys smile. Once, she had even laughed. He always shared food with anyone who asked, no matter how hungry he was. He was the best person Nerys had ever known, besides her father.
"Reon! Pohl!" Nerys was distracted by a scream from outside.
"Gailis?" she said to herself. That had been the old man's voice. For a split-second she wondered what trouble her brothers had gotten into while she was gone, but then it registered in her mind that Gailis had not sounded scolding, as he usually would, but terrified. The bottom dropped out of her stomach and her hands began trembling again, and she thought of the rustling in the forest. Had she been seen out of bounds? Had the Cardassians been bored and decided to go after her little brothers instead of just administering their usual punishment? She stood up on shaky legs and ran as well as she could to the door and pulled it open.
Her house being in the middle of the village, she could usually see out the door almost everything important that happened. At least, she heard every Cardassian announcement very clearly. What she saw now made her feel like dry-heaving.
A crowd was gathering around two small boys and a Cardassian patrol standing in front them. It isn't them, she prayed desperately. Please don't let it be Reon and Pohl. The Prophets, apparently, were not feeling merciful. One of the boys turned slightly to look into the crowd, and Nerys saw his face. Her heart lurched. She stepped forward, intending to demand an explanation from Gailis, who was only a meter away from her, about why her little brothers were being intimidated by a Cardassian patrol. But before she could, the lead Cardassian, Gul Trinn, began speaking in a condescending tone.
"You stole those things, boys. Stealing is a crime. Do you know what we must do to people who commit crimes?" Anger immediately surged through Nerys, giving her strength and a bravery that could be considered stupidity. She ran forward, ready to do whatever she had to to protect her little brothers, but Gailis grabbed her as she attempted to push past him.
She knew better than to think she could overpower Gailis, but that didn't stop her from trying as she screamed, "Leave them alone! Leave them-" The rest of what she said was muffled when Gailis clamped a hand over her mouth. Trinn ignored her and continued as if he hadn't heard anything.
"We have to punish them." Nerys started hyperventilating when she saw the hopeless terror on Reon and Pohl's faces. She kicked Gailis savagely and tried to bite his hand, but he held on. Even through her own panic, Nerys could feel his chest shaking with suppressed sobs. Trinn continued in a louder voice, the voice he frequently used to make announcements to the village. "Kira Reon and Kira Pohl, you are charged with theft, and I sentence you to-"
"We didn't steal them, someone gave them to us!" Reon shouted desperately, his voice high and terrified. Pohl was pressed hard into Reon's side and trembling like a leaf. Trinn ignored Reon and continued to talk without pausing.
"Death," he finished dryly, as though he were dismissing a servant. Nerys screamed incoherently, Gailis's hand was still over her mouth. "Do you have any last words? Perhaps a warning to your fellow villagers about the foolishness of thievery?" Tears were rolling down her brothers' faces, and Nerys was heaving out broken sobs, still trying to escape Gailis's unyielding arms. Many of the villagers were crying, too, but no one spoke. No one noticed when a man not native to their village came out from behind the comfort woman Teran's abandoned house, noticed what was happening, and paled considerably. "Anything? No? Very well," Trinn said in a business-like tone.
"No!" The man yelled. Nerys looked at him, desperate hope rising in her chest. "It was me! I stole-"
"Fire." Nerys didn't have time to close her eyes. The Cardassians behind Gul Trinn whipped out their disruptors and fired them immediately. Less than a second after Trinn gave the order, her brothers were dead, splayed out on the ground, tear tracks on their faces. There was an identical burn mark on each of their chests. At that moment, something inside Nerys died, too.
The man stared at the boys' small bodies, horror and guilt flooding into his eyes. Trinn looked up at the man, unconcerned.
"You say you stole them?" He didn't even bother to pretend he felt any remorse for killing two boys. "How unfortunate." Trinn gestured to his underlings, who aimed their disruptors at the man and fired. Nerys turned and pulled Gailis's coat over her ears, trying to block out the sound of another person dying. But the Cardassians cursed and through Gailis's coat she heard footsteps running up the road. She leaned back slightly and watched the man run away, before wrenching herself from Gailis's now relaxed grip and tearing after the man. Though she was small, she was fast, and she had the advantage of having run up this road hundreds of time in her life. She quickly overtook the Cardassians who were in pursuit and caught up to the man a few minutes later, just inside the forest where only a half-hour ago she had been picking seedberries. He must have heard her behind him, and recognized that she wasn't a Cardassian, because he stopped and turned around. Nerys flew at him, screeching.
"My brothers! They killed my brothers! You did this!" She kicked and punched him ferociously, wanting the man to feel some inkling of the gaping hole of grief and pain in her chest. He didn't fight back. He just let her pound him until her blows began to weaken as she started to break down. He pulled her into a hug that she resisted at first, but eventually fell into.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he murmured into her hair. "I stole those medical kits, I gave some to your brothers." Rage bubbled up inside Nerys, but now it was sharper, more focused.
"They killed my brothers because they thought they stole-!"
"Sh," the man interrupted suddenly, putting a hand up for emphasis. He looked around, listening intently. "You should go home," the man warned her in a low voice. "I have to go." Nerys shook her head, wiping her face.
"Are you with the Resistance?" she asked in a tone that suggested she was not leaving without an answer. The man shushed her and looked around again. Then he nodded. "I want to come with you," Nerys demanded. The man shook his head immediately.
"Go home, girl," he ordered. Nerys scowled, but didn't say anything. The man sneaked away, deeper into the forest, heading towards the mountains. After a moment, he glanced back and startled violently. Nerys was less than a meter away from him, having followed him silently. "I said go home," he said, but he sounded less sure this time.
"No," Nerys answered. "I want to kill Cardassians." The stubborn frown on her face was making her look much younger than she actually was, but she didn't realize it. The man's face fell into deep sadness.
"What about your parents?" he asked gently, and realized his mistake when her face hardened.
"I want to kill Cardassians," she repeated, more insistently this time. The man looked around, listening again. Nerys listened, too, and immediately heard the clumsy footsteps of approaching Cardassians. The man sighed wearily.
"Do you hate them?" he asked. Nerys nodded stubbornly. "I guess that's all you need," he said, as if trying to convince himself. "Come on. Try to keep up." Then he was gone, having disappeared into the shadows of the trees. Nerys, startled, scampered after him, following the sounds of his footsteps.
A/N: Was this sad? Did I rip your heart out of your chest? Because that's what I was going for. Thanks for reading, and please review!