Merry Christmas everyone! Today I spent a lot of my time in the airport, so I had time to update and complete it. Also, dedication goes to inkfngrz on FictionPress for supporting me!

Disclaimer: Let me put this in simple terms: Me no own except Ariana, Fluffles, Third Person, and Ninja. The rest goes to James Patterson and J. K. Rowling.

The lonely, cloaked figure crept across the rocky, jagged, mountain. When it reached the opening of a cave, it pushed back its hood to reveal a young girl with dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, and a determined expression. Checking to see if anyone was looking, she ducked into the cave.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Striding up to the enormous crystals in the center of the cave, the girl proceeded to…

Me: Cut the crap. I know what I'm doing, and I don't need you to tell me, Third Person.

Third Person: -pouts- walks away.

Me: -to self- I hope he knows where he's going. Now, back to business. -turns to crystals-

Third Person: The girl proceeded to…

Me: SHUT THE FNICK UP!

Third Person: Jeez, I was just going to say that you opened the door in the crystal and walked into the hot tub.

Me: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET! NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO KIDNAP- wait a minute. Did I say kidnap? That never happened. THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY , I PRONOUNCE YOU DEAD!

Third Person: -dies-

Me: Now that's more like it. -turns to hot tub- Now, to kidnap Iggy… I need the right spell. Uuuh, confringo!

-hot tub blows up-

Me: OH, CRAP! WHY DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO ME? WHY CAN'T I KIDNAP IGGY FROM MAXIMUM RIDE?!

-Iggy appears-

Iggy: What in the fnicking heck just happened?

Me: It worked. Okay, so Iggy, how do you feel about Fanfiction authors?

Iggy: I think they are creepy, obsessive, weirdos. Why?

Me: You're talking to one. I kidnapped you from the Maximum Ride fandom.

Iggy: That's not creepy at all.

Me: I was going to throw a welcome party in the hot tub with Fluffles the Psycho Pink Unicorn, Ariana, Third Person, and the Ninja, but they couldn't make it, and I killed Third Person. And the hot tub exploded.

Iggy: How does a hot tub explode? And you killed someone named Third Person? You have issues.

Me: Why, thank you, Iggy. I'm flattered that you think so highly of me.

Iggy: It wasn't a compliment.

Me: It was to me. So, anyways, you're going to spend a while staying with me, so-

Iggy: WHAT?! I'M NOT GOING TO STAY WITH A WEIRD, PSYCHO, MURDERER WHO WRITES FANFICTION IN HER SPARE TIME! I'M LEAVING! -opens wings and tries to fly away-

*crash*

Me: -snickers- You idiot. You didn't think I knew about the wings?

Iggy: -mumbles- I was hoping for it.

Me: So, according to Fanfiction tradition, I must introduce you to my OCs. And, hmm… -checks scroll- dunk you in paint.

Iggy: Heck no.

Me: If you don't, your head falls off.

Iggy: If it does, hopefully I won't be with you for much longer.

Me: -snaps fingers- -Fluffles, Ariana, and the Ninja appear- Welcome, OCs! This is Iggy.

Fluffles: -glares at Iggy- YOU.

Iggy: -glares in Fluffles' general direction- YOU.

Fluffles: I've waited a long time for this. -pulls out shotgun-

Iggy: I'm guessing you just pulled out a gun. I forgive you for that incident, though. -pulls out machine gun- BUT BIG BOY DON'T!

*machine gun fire*

Fluffles: -gasping- I - freaking - hate - you. -faints-

Me: -turns to Iggy- You are more violent than I thought. I like that.

Iggy: -edges away-

Ninja: Can I do my evil laugh?

Me: Just once. We don't want Iggy to think we're weird, do we?

Ninja: Teeheeheerainbowunicorns!

Ariana: Be glad I'm normal, Iggy. And let's hope KT's next OC is, too.

Me: She's going to be Max's sister! That's all I can say right now.

Iggy: Max? Normal? No.

Max: -appears- -slaps Iggy- -disappears.

Iggy: If I had a nickel for every time I've been disturbed since I got here, I would be so stinking rich that I could blow up anything I wanted.

Me: Like a toilet?

Fred and George Weasley: -appear- That was our idea!

Iggy: Hmm…

George: -slaps Iggy- -disappears with Fred.

Me: -is sitting at desk, looking through papers- Oh, I'm sorry Iggy, but today, December 25, also known as Christmas, is officially Slap Iggy Day as of now.

Fluffles: -slaps Iggy-

Iggy: Ow.

Ninja: -slaps Iggy-

Iggy: Ouch.

Ariana: -slaps Iggy-

Iggy: OW!

Me: -kicks Iggy's butt-

Iggy: OW! FRICK! WHAT ARE YOU, A BLACK BELT OR SOMETHING?

Me: Yes, yes I am. And I can break a board with my bare hands. -smiles-

Everyone except me: -inches away-

Me: It's time for the next part if your introduction, Iggy…

Iggy: -gulps-

Me: MWAHAHAHA!

Me: Well, there you have it. The story of how I met Iggy in person. Oh, and by the way, Iggy is going to be with me in the AN's from now on.

Iggy: Kill. Me. Now.

Me: He'll warm up to the idea. I'm only going to keep him for a month at the very least.

Iggy: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, WOMAN? A MONTH!? A FREAKING MONTH?! AT THE LEAST?! YOU- YOU-

Me: -claps hand over mouth- Now, Iggy. We only do that in the story. And you're going to get laryngitis if you keep shouting. Now, you readers know the drill. And feel free to give me a present by reviewing and following. Bye!

Iggy: Yes, goodbye. And if you find the hidden St. Fang of Boredom and other reference that has something to do with YouTube, you get a cookie. While I don't.

R&R? Me: Joy to the world… Iggy: SHUT THE FNICK UP!