The beautiful game

A/n

Just a little something I never got around to posting.

If you are a soccer/football fan this should be right up your alley. If not, it might go over your head just a little but I'm sure you may still be able to appreciate the humour.

If you are from any of the countries mentioned, please take no offense to anything said. It was and is all in good fun. If you and your friends ever find yourselves on opposing sides of a game or match of any kind I'm sure you'll agree the teasing can get pretty petty but it's just fun.

That's my disclaimer so enjoy.

P.S unless otherwise stated most of the dialogue is between Relena and Duo. ( just in case there was any confusion.)

Relena added the finishing touches to her make-up, lightly dusting the fluffy brush across her cheekbones. Taking one gleaming pearl up to her earlobes she paused midway as laughter reverberated through the halls. A smiled curved her lips as she clasped the jewel firmly in place.

With a shake of her head she retrieved its twin from the dresser. There was no telling what the joke downstairs was about and it was a waste of time trying to hazard a guess. The lot downstairs was anything but predictable.

Relena gave herself another once over running her hands through her hair in the process, before heading downstairs. One of the perks of inheriting a huge house was the extra rooms it provided for her friends. Never a dull moment, they added much needed colour to days that got mundane fast.

Rounding the corner to the living area she could hear the television, barely since it was in competition with the guys, well one in particular. This group wasn't the most vocal or loud except when sport was involved.

"This game's already won." She heard Trowa state quite matter of factly as she entered. She didn't pause to see what he was talking about instead she made a b-line for the coffee pot on the kitchen counter, life could wait until she got her morning cup. Truth be told she was in no position to judge them. No one in the world would believe the demure and diminutive Vice Minister was such an avid sports fan. She could be just as nasty as the rest of the testosterone present.

Relena inhaled the rich scent of her coffee before taking a sip. "What are you watching?"

"Soccer."

Relena giggled. "In America."

Duo turned to face her. "What's your point?"

"When in Rome…..."

Duo shrugged. "I thought we were in Belgium."

Relena rolled her eyes. "And we call it football here." It wasn't a big deal but if he was going to watch her sport in her house he was going to call it by her word. "Who's playing?" She looked to Trowa for the answer not wanting to give Duo another opportunity to annoy her.

Trowa looked at her briefly. "Italy and Russia."

Relena drew closer to the television. "What? That's today?"

Duo looked from them to the television. "What's the big deal?"

"It's the Euros Duo." Relena stated slightly annoyed.

"My question still stands."

Relena sighed. "It's the biggest football competition in Europe second only to the world cup."

"When does America play?"

"They don't." Duo recoiled physically as Trowa and Relena both turned to stare at him.

Trowa elaborated to ease Duo's confusion. "European countries only."

"Well isn't that the most elitist bullshit I've heard all decade."

"It's not elitist Duo, every region has one."

"What happened to the ESUN, unity and solidarity and all that? "

"It's every nation for itself where football is concerned."

Duo grumbled his protest. "Soccer."

"When is Belgium playing?" Relena had to know, she would need to clear her schedule.

Trowa didn't look away from the television as he spoke his arms gesturing as he tried to coach the players on screen. "Next Tuesday, Croatia I think."

Duo wasted no time in instigating another argument. "Think they have a chance?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't they, I expect them to win." Especially since she wasn't a fan of the checkered kits of the opposing team. It was her least favorite pattern followed closely by polka dots.

"Their team is pretty good especially their number ten." Heero who had been silent chose that moment to interrupt.

"Yeah you guys could lose."

Relena glared at Duo. "Shut up Duo."

"Awe don't be upset, if the tournament was any good America would be in it."

Trowa spoke through clenched teeth, the game or this conversation seemed to be getting on his nerves. "That's what the world cup is for."

"Besides," Relena smiled mischievously knowing what she was about to say would get a rise out of her friend. "their hands are already full with that little cup."

"Little cup?" Duo looked from Relena to Trowa. "Did she just say little cup?"

Trowa nodded. "Pass the ball."

Duo jumped to his feet. "I bet Belgium loses next week."

Relena scoffed. "Why do I care; you hardly know anything about the sport."

Duo was undeterred. "Fifty bucks says Croatia beats you."

"You're on, but fifty bucks is child's play, we are adults right?" Relena teased, her voice raising ever so slightly as she drew out the last word.

All eyes turned to Duo but he was not about to choke. "$200 to the winner."

"$400 says Belgium loses 3-0"

Relena spun on her heels to face the voice which had just betrayed her, it was almost too much to comprehend. "You don't even expect them to score?" She stared at Heero in disbelief before folding her arms holding an ever more determined stance. "$500 says Belgium wins 2-1"

A peal of laughter rang out behind them. Up until now Hilde had been content to just sit and watch the shenanigans unfold but it was two against one so she felt compelled to even the odds. "I'm with you Relena, Belgium will win."

"Thank you."

Hilde continued. "Although it really doesn't matter, Germany will win the entire thing."

"You were my friend up until two seconds ago."

"Hey, I gots to speak the truth."

The tip of her pen tapped the desk and her knee bounced under the table. It was eleven fifty and this meeting hadn't yet reached intermission. Which meant it was nowhere close to its conclusion.

Relena looked up at the clock on the far wall, the game was scheduled to start at 12pm. Luckily there was usually half hour of commentary before kickoff so she still had time. But if she was going to make it she would have to leave now. Under the table she typed a quick 'Call me' to Heero, he was after all her knight in shining armor. Almost immediately her phone rang and she excused herself to a quiet corner to answer. On the other end Heero didn't wait for a greeting. "What's wrong."

"Nothing I just need a reason to leave.'"

"Abusing your power over me?"

"I'll let you return the favour."

Relena ended the phone call and slid the shiny silver mobile into her jacket pocket. She began to walk back to her colleagues when she realised the smile on her face was grossly inappropriate for the occasion. She paused, calling on her years of practice to secure her most disappointed expression. Citing her phone call as a family emergency she apologized profusely before making a hasty exit.

Outside she found the familiar black sedan waiting, the passenger door already opened. Relena slid into the passenger seat, giving the driver an appreciative smile before they sped off. "I feel like we just robbed a bank and are making a quick getaway."

"I guess that makes you my Bonny."

She laughed. "They have nothing on us."

Once on the highway Relena pulled a black duffle bag from the back seat and without hesitation unbuttoned her blouse to make way for her red and black jersey.

"What are you doing?"

"I have to dress for the occasion Heero."

"I'm driving, how am I supposed to keep my eyes on the road with you half naked."

Despite Heero's protests Relena continued to dress and undress. She pulled the jersey over her head then proceeded to shimmy out of her skirt. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't want to see it again."

Relena wriggled in her seat, pulling up the black shorts in the process. "Well take a good look because if Belgium loses today you won't be seeing it for a while."

"You would blame me for their loss?"

She turned giving him a pointed look. "Solely."

The game venue was in the entertainment room. There was nothing like watching the beautiful game on a big screen tv with surround sound and a wet bar. By the time Heero and Relena arrived it was already 12:45 pm which meant the game was underway. Relena rushed into the room. "What did I miss?"

"An early goal." Duo gloated and he met her with a cheeky grin. "Croatia's"

Her eyes jumped to Duo's. "No."

"Yip."

She didn't believe him. He was just lying to upset her, he had to be. She scanned the big screen in front of them. There in the corner of the screen was the truth Bel 0: Cro 1. Despair was automatic but she could feel Duo's triumphant glare and there was no way she was going to give him the satisfaction. "Doesn't matter there's still seventy-five minutes left. A lot can happen in that time."

Duo cackled. "Yeah, a lot of nothing."

As the game progressed Relena and Duo became more and more vocal. Anyone overhearing the conversation would never know that there were five people in the room. Trowa wasn't much for hurling insults his interest was in the tactics and game play. Heero was much the same and Hilde only ever became vocal if Germany was involved.

"No wonder they gave up an early goal they suck."

Relena kept her eyes focused straight ahead, Duo was trying to bait her and she knew it.

"I mean they're slow and-

Relena finally snapped. "Shut up Duo."

"I bet they never won a world cup."

Relena threw a sideways glance at Duo and his attempt at an insult. "Nice of you to bring up the world cup since Belgium was the one to oust you in the last one."

Duo not an avid football fan was unsure and looked to Trowa who nodded silently in confirmation.

"Yeah well, they were probably having a bad day." Duo offered.

"Right, and how many hours are in their day? Five hundred?"

"Take that back."

"Won't."

"Children please." Hilde interjected. "Germany won it and that's all that matters."

Twenty-five minutes later and the score hadn't changed. Relena sat on the edge of her seat both literally and figuratively. The game was thoroughly exciting but clearly the referee had been paid. Belgium had come particularly close to scoring when the shrill of the ref's whistle dashed all Belgian hopes. Relena jumped from her seat. "Are you blind? How is that offside?"

Duo's brow furrowed. "What's offside?"

Relena stood with her arm out stretched to the television. "The ref has to be getting paid extra."

Duo nodded in agreement. "If anyone can spot a bribe it would be a politician."

"What?"

"Nothing."

The whistle blew for half time and it gave Relena a chance to breathe again.

Duo stood from his seat and stretched his arms above his head. "Guess the guys in the checkered kits aren't that bad after all."

"I never said they were bad. I just know Belgium is better. Besides there's still forty-five minutes left. A lot can happen in forty-five minutes."

Duo walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. "You said that thirty minutes ago."

"Shut up."

"You're mean when you're losing." Duo managed to sputter in between gulps.

Everyone used this time to grab more drinks and snacks or take a bathroom break. Anything and everything to avoid moving again once the game restarted. Relena didn't go far though she enjoyed listening to the pundits during half time. It was always funny and honest.

"What's that guy's name?"

Relena tried hard to ignore Duo, but the more she tried to ignore him the louder he spoke.

"Is he registered? Publically traded or privately owned?"

The idiot actually burst out laughing at his own joke but to her surprise and mild annoyance she heard Trowa snicker as well and from the corner of her eye she saw the two exchange a fist pump.

Relena took a deep breath. "That wasn't funny."

"Sure it was."

The game restarted and again time was ticking away and Belgium had yet to score. Relena was finding it hard to watch. She knelt on the sofa behind Heero's back using his shoulder as a shield whenever it looked like the other team might score.

"Seventy minutes and counting. Get my five hundred dollars ready." Duo rubbed both hands together smiling.

Relena was making every kick, living every second with her team willing them to do something, anything. She slid her feet to the ground and moved closer to Heero's back draping her hands around his neck and resting her chin on his shoulder. Anticipation buzzed in her body, her palms were cold, her chest tight while butterflies danced and fluttered in her stomach. Something was about to happen, she could feel it. It was a sixth sense of sorts when there was a shift in the game, it's intensity and you just knew something was going to happen either for you or against you.

The referee blew the whistle for a corner to be taken. Belgium's corner. The players got into formation in the center while one lone Belgium player stood at the corner waiting for the ref's whistle. Relena chewed her lip in anticipation as her team kicked the ball around before it floated into the eighteen-yard box and a head pushed the ball into the back of the net.

Relena jumped to her feet echoing the cheers and shouts which erupted in the stands of the live game.

"No way, that has to be a violation, no one can see past that guy's hair." Duo jumped from his seat in protest.

Relena's hands stopped inches from each other as her clap halted midway. "Make one more crack about his hair and I swear I'll shave your head in your sleep."

Duo shrank back into his chair, arms folded over his chest. "So much for fair play."

Relena glared at Duo for another second before returning her attention to the screen. "Fifteen minutes to win the game, you can do it."

Duo rolled his eyes. "They couldn't do it in seventy-five."

The teams returned to the center and the referee blew his whistle again to restart the game. Each team played like their lives depended on it going from box to box taking their fans on a rollercoaster ride of elation and despair as each team came close to scoring but ultimately failed.

Ten more minutes left on the clock. The commentators were warning the audience that someone was either going to leave the field a hero or a villain. Someone was going to score or someone was going to allow a goal. Relena could only pray it wouldn't be Belgium.

Eighty-five minutes and counting and Relena found herself kneeling in front of the huge screen, her shirt collar in her mouth as a substitution for her nails.

Another shrill of the ref's whistle had Relena peeking through her fingers which she had now placed between her eyes and the television. Belgian Free kick. In the eighty seventh minutes. She could die from this.

She was torn between watching and not. Superstition washed over her and she felt that if she watched they would screw up but she wanted to be able to revel in the victory if they scored. She decided it was better to watch she needed to see this live a replay just wouldn't cut it. Big girl panties required.

Relena watched as the teams got into formation, watched as a Belgian player stood behind the ball, the number on his back, nine. She watched as the players jostled for position and then she watched the referee bring the silver whistle to his lips. And then she could only watch as the ball was struck, then the net bulged.

The crowd on screen erupted but she couldn't respond she just remained on the floor with her mouth still open as the noise from the surround sound pulsated through the room. It wasn't over until it was over and until then she couldn't celebrate. Eighty-nine minutes, three added. She would have to wait four minutes the longest of her life. This, she definitely couldn't watch. She returned to her hiding place behind Heero desperate for the referee to stop her suffering. She listened to the oohs and aahs of the crowd refusing to look up to see what had happened. There was only one thing she wanted to see and hear at this point. Three blows of the whistle two short puffs followed by one long one and there it was. The game was over, Belgium had won.

As she watched her team celebrate Relena turned a wicked grin to Duo Maxwell who was now incredibly silent. She stood and marched over to him a triumphant smile plastered on her face. "Game, set, match."

Duo sank further into his seat, his chin resting on his chest as he slouched and pouted. "That's not even the same sport."

"Oh?" Relena tapped her chin with her index and looked off into space as if deep in thought. When her eyes returned to Duo they reflected her amusement. "And here I thought you were clueless about all sport guess it's only about football."

"Hey seen today's paper?" Trowa asked as he walked into Duo's office at Preventer HQ, a paper tucked under one arm and a blue plastic bag in the other.

Duo looked up from his computer screen. "No, why?"

Trowa opened the paper and dropped in onto the desk. A picture of Relena posing with the Belgium team dominated the front page, captioned "A Royal Welcome."

Duo folded the paper and pushed it back towards Trowa. "Yeah she gets to take pictures with the winners while I'm out eight hundred dollars."

"Eight, I thought it was five?"

Duo groaned. "I may have increased the wager when it didn't look like they were going to win."

Trowa shook his head in pity. Without a word he removed the contents of the bag and placed it on the desk with a small thud.

Duo's eyes widened at the wine colored bottle with black writing, cherry flavor splayed across the middle. "What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

Trowa smiled down at him. "You're going to have to make that money somehow."

A/N

So in case you know nothing of the sport there's ninety minutes in each game split in forty-five minute halves.

Off side is a violation of the game.

Free Kicks are awarded for fouls against another player.

And again I say, it's all in good fun especially to any American readers out there.

Trivia? Can you name the players?

P.S I don't know why Trowa was walking around with a bottle of lube, that's his business.