How you make me feel
By Blair Bass and Serena Humphrey
Blair Waldorf NEVER cried that changed when she met Charles Bass. He broke her. He made her vulnerable. He made her want to break down and show him that she is human, that she feels the hurt. He can't insult her and she won't hurt, she'll retort and he won't know that she's dying inside.
She was sick of crying and breaking down but some how she couldn't stop herself in front of Chuck. She was tired of trying not to cry, when all she wanted to do is fall into his arms and him comfort her- but then she wakes up and realises Chuck Bass doesn't do comfort.
She couldn't talk to Serena, she wouldn't understand. She couldn't talk to Nate; he was her ex- that would be just weird, considering she fell in love with the Bass-hole while with Nate. The only thing left to do was just put on a smile and pretend she wasn't hurt or really dying.
Too bad he knows her. He knows she's hurting, but he can't help her. He's Chuck Bass. He won't be sucked into her trap where she is the most confusing woman on earth, he loves her and he knows it but he also knows he's unlovable. No one could love anyone so… Chuck Bass-y.
He couldn't make her happy; he'd hurt her more. He wanted to make her happy, he just didn't know how.
He wanted to not love her, he denied it for as long as he could, but it's undeniably true and it was out of everyone's control. He doesn't want to admit it but there's one thing he wants that he has to let go, for her own good. He couldn't let her get hurt. Too late.
Chuck Bass could NEVER live without Blair Waldorf in his world. She was everything he didn't want- but she was everything he needed.
Every time he saw her at the MET steps at lunch he wondered if she ever actually looked at him when he passed her- like he tries not to stare at her, but does. There's something alluring about her and the way he walks by. She never actually looks back at him and he wonders if it's all one-sided but then when she's walking past- and he's not looking- she sneaks a glance and he feels her watching him.
Blair didn't want to admit it but she watched Chuck's every move, luckily she's subtle and he doesn't notice- mostly. Every time she looks up she hopes to see him looking at her- but that's the thing, she can't see him, she never knows where he is. She's always on the MET steps but where was he? She thinks he has some secret headquarters; he is Chuck Bass after all. He doesn't even know how he makes her feel. She doesn't know how she makes him feel.
"Nate, Serena wants to…" Blair said as she walked up to her ex's. She suddenly lost her train of thought just trying to remove her eyes from Chuck's. "…talk to you about the…" She couldn't think. This was the only interaction they'd had in a while that wasn't one-sided. She kept thinking how bad this must look to Chuck, that she wasn't over him or something. She had to think of something else that would take her mind over. Being a bitch. "…science project and if you don't get you're ass down there now, I can assure you she will kick you out of the group. Or better yet I will." He opened him mouth to object to her remark. "And yes I can do that, our teacher has a soft spot for me, just like every other teacher does. Deal with it."
With her threat in place she walked away from the duo, trying not to think if she looked bad in front of Chuck- not that she cared. As she thought about it more she thought about his face at her humiliating his best friend. She tried not to care but she felt bad, later that day she apologized to Nate about it and told him that nothing was going well that day. He forgave her and she hoped that Chuck would forgive her.
The next day she approached Nate about the same subject, but this time she asked him if he could do something for it. Nate nodded and so did Chuck- she knew that this was his silent forgiveness. She breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding in. See what he did to her?
He made her feel like no one has before. He made her not want to be a bitch. He made her nervous. He made her have hope. He made her feel safe, even though he's dangerous. He made her feel beautiful. He made her want to be someone worthy of him. He made her feel so small. He made her want to break down and cry when he looks disappointed in her. He made her world feel empty every time he left her. He made her want to be a better person. He made her feel like she was special to someone when she knows she's not.
Not to her mother- She never cared.
Not to her father- He got up and left.
Not to Serena- she's to busy trying to sort out her boy problems, which she always has.
Not to Chuck- does he even really care?
Not to anyone.
Yet Chuck could make her feel special. Too him. But what does it even mean to have someone care? She doesn't know anymore. She doesn't know what love is any more. And the worse thing? He doesn't know how he makes her feel.