Warning: This is pure crack.
Disclaimer: Ayngott owns herself, the rest are borrowed.
Royal Meets Author
"What do you mean you're not in the mood? You're always in the mood." Keigo got off from Ryoma, glaring at his boyfriend. This was one of the rare moments when they could meet and this is what he gets. Damn.
Ryoma glared right back at him. "Not today."
"Why?" Keigo wanted an explanation. "Tell Ore-sama one good reason why Ore-sama shouldn't just force you and get it over with. You will like it anyway."
Ryoma, not blushing because of the comments for once, pointed at the corner of the room and muttered. "Because that crazy girl is here. And she's writing everything down. Again."
Keigo turned his head in the direction Ryoma pointed at and really, there she was, sitting in the corner and quietly writing something in her notebook, a creepy grin on her face and muttering something unintelligible to herself. Keigo got the image of a female version of Inui at first.
"Oi, you. Get out; you're messing up Ore-sama's fun here." Keigo ordered.
The girl looked up from her scribbles, the black hood covering her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "I'm the author idiot, I do what I want."
Ryoma widened his eyes, "Author? As in Ayingott? The same?" that got Keigo to look at her strangely too.
"Wasn't she called MyInfernalSomething? When did she become Ayin-whatever?" Keigo frowned. He usually knew everything.
"Yeah, that would be me. Because I got tired of that old name, it happens." Ayingott waved her hand in the air and once again got her pen ready over the half-written page. "Now shut up and get on with the sexy time, I need ideas."
"Hold on." Keigo got completely off of Ryoma and sat on the edge of his bed. "So you're responsible for putting Ore-sama in a dress in that creepy story about Wonderland?" he crossed his arms and legs in front of himself, the aura of king already there, around him.
"Forget the damn dress, she made me pregnant. Twice!" Ryoma also sat up and punched Keigo on the shoulder. "I don't want to know what else she can make me do. Sick woman."
"Oi!" Ayingott glared from her corner. "I heard that." Though, the hood was still over her eyes, so the boys couldn't be sure she was glearing.
Ryoma glared back at her, this so wasn't what he wanted to do right now. "Good, I meant for you to hear it."
"Stop it you children." Keigo said. "Honestly, just because you two are couple of years younger than Ore-sama, that doesn't mean you can act like two five-year olds. And besides, some of the stuff she wrote isn't half bad."
Ryoma didn't look offended for being called a five-year old (Ayingott was a different matter altogether) and got ponta out of somewhere. "Considering that she comes from some middle-of-nowhere-country that doesn't speak English, I suppose so."
"My country is not middle-of-nowhere! It's just a bit small. Besides, I always remind people that I suck at grammar. And whether or not I come from an English speaking country isn't the point." Ayingott looked like she wanted to pout. "And I'm older than both of you, hah!" she pointed at the two, as if that would be something to be proud of.
Honestly, she was sort of weird. At least, that's what the two thought at that moment.
Keigo looked at her and laughed. "Ore-sama has never heard of, what was it called…." He glanced at his boyfriend asking for some help.
Ryoma rolled his eyes and reached out for Keigo's laptop. He searched for Ayingott's profile on fanfiction dot net and after finding it announced in a bored voice. "Latvia, supposedly."
"Yes, so, Ore-sama has never heard of a country named Latvia before. Thus, it could be called the middle of nowhere. Also, you rely on the autocorrect too much anyway, so Ore-sama would advise you to keep your mouth shut. And," he gave the sulking girl a good look-over for the first time and continued, "You look about fourteen or thirteen years old. Short too."
Ayingott stiffened and suddenly stood up from her small chair, the notebook and pen clattering on the ground. "I'm seventeen damn it!" she yelled, the hood finally sliding off from her head and revealing the blond hair beneath it. She indeed was short for a seventeen-year-old.
Keigo wanted to say something once again, probably meant to insult the poor author wannabe, but was stopped by Ryoma. "You paired me up with Niou? And Akutsu and… What the hell, even my own brother? That's sick."
"It sells. Deal with it." Ayingott huffed and plopped back down on her chair. "There are more Royal Pair fics from me anyway."
"Ore-sama has a question though." Keigo had taken the laptop from Ryoma's hands and was now looking thought the things written about him and Ryoma. "Do you have at least some dating experience? Because really, it's looks as if some nolifer wrote all of this."
Ayingott had the decency to pull the hood back up and mumble something that sounded like 'Shut up'. The two on the bed blinked and then looked at each other, amused smirks playing on their lips. There was no need for stupid comments for this situation.
"But yeah, you have written so much. It really does seem like you have nothing better to do." Ryoma sounded bored as he said that.
"Shut up." Ayingott really was pouting now. "I'll make Atobe bottom to Horio. We'll see who will laugh then." Even though she said it out of spite, the idea seemed pretty good to her. At least, that's what the crazy grin on her face told the two boys on the bed.
Ryoma shuddered. "Something is wrong with her. Seriously." He tried to get closer to Keigo. "Can you get rid of her? I really don't like to be in the same room with that crazy author."
"Ore-sama would love to, but Ore-sama does not want to bear the consequences of that action. She'll do it, it's written on her face." Keigo whispered back to Ryoma. "Maybe we can block her account or something." He started to search though the homepage for any help on this matter.
"I heard it." Ayingott reminded the both of them. "And just for that I'll- Oh sorry, someone is calling me." She opened her cell phone and started to speak in some crazy language (probably Latvian, duh.). After ending the call she sighed. "Damn and it was getting to the good part too." Ayingott sulked.
Somehow, those words made Ryoma and Keigo shudder.
With that she suddenly disappeared and left the two alone, leaving her stuff behind. Ryoma and Keigo looked at each other again and then at the notebook left behind, lying innocently on the floor. The idea about Horio and Keigo already written down in it.
"Burn it?" Ryoma asked.
Keigo nodded. "Burn it. And then some fun time."
A/N: I have no life. Period.
And the facts mentioned in this drabble are true. No matter how pathetic they may sound. HURRAY FOR NOLIFERS!