AN(s):
-the beginning italics are from the book, page 464 :)
-I haven't posted here in a while, so be nice :)
-and I love this book like soooo much! Hope you enjoy!

"Use my room?"she echoed. "Use it for what?"
Will's mouth quirked up at the corner; Tessa, who had been thinking about how beautifully shaped his lips were, took a moment to realize with a sense of distant surprise that the smile was a very cold one. "You cannot pretend you don't know… You are not entirely ignorant of the world, I think, Tessa. Not with that brother of yours."
"Will."The warmth was going out of Tessa like the sea drawing back from the land; she felt cold, despite the summer air. "I am not like my brother."
"You care for me," Will said. His voice was cool and sure. "And you know that I admire you, the way that all women know when a man admires them. Now you have come to tell me you will be here, available to me, for as long as I might wish it. I am offering you what I thought you wanted."
"You cannot mean that."
"And you cannot have imagine I meant anything more," Will said. "There is no future for a Shadowhunter who dallies with warlocks. One might befriend them, employ them, but not…"

"Marry them?"Tessa said. There was a clear picture in her head of the sea. It had drawn back entirely from the shore, and she could see the small creatures it had left gasping in its wake, flapping and dying on the bare sand.
*****

In his dark state of mind, Will noticed the frown spreading across Tessa's face; but he didn't care, did he? She is just a warlock caught up in the drama of Shadowhunters, and his only involvement with her is keeping her safe. "How forward," he smirked. "What did you really expect, Tessa?"

Tessa's mind reeled at the thought of him using her for his own desires; she had thought they were friends! How could he be so treacherous, so insulting… But after all, he is Will. And Will has always been known to do things selfishly, not caring about anyone else. Why can't he treat her with even a small semblance of respect? What has she done to deserve this disgusting proposal from him?

His gaze was steady. "If you are not interested in my offer…"
"Stop," she said. "Jem says you lie to make yourself look bad. And perhaps that is true, or perhaps he simply wishes to believe that about you. But there is no reason or excuse for cruelty like this."

For a moment he felt truly disappointed in himself. Even Jem tries to create a decent thought of him when there is none. Will knows himself to be immoral and secretive. He knows that he's dark and tortured. He knows that it's easier for him to lie than face the truth. He knows all these things… And when Tessa turned with all the dignity he didn't take from her and left without another word, he knows that his heart broke. He just wished he knew why.

Tessa was in her room pouring her soul over the Codex. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Will wants to use her as a whore! How humiliating! In the quiet of her room she could hear her own sobs echo against the walls. Why does he make me so sad? He always found a way to annoy her, or to hurt her feelings. Always found a way to make her day just a little bit less than happy. But how is it, that the one person that causes her so much pain, can make her feel the way she did in the attic so many nights ago? She can still remember the way it felt to have his arms around her…the feel of his chest against her. She remembers running her fingers through his silky black hair, and brushing her lips on his… Oh, the fire that coursed through her veins was all-consuming. "Ugh," she grumbled. "Why is he so infuriating…"

In her state of disarray, she heard a knock on the door. Quickly she fixed her mussed hair and wiped the tear-stains from her face. She glimpsed an image of herself in the mirror and cringed. But after such a long and emotional day, she didn't really care who was on the other side of the door and if they didn't like her state of dress. Slowly, she made her way to the door, and holding her breath, opened it.
With a flash of movement, she was pushed back into her room and her door was slammed shut. The figure gracefully turned her around and pushed her back against the wall. Within another moment, her mind registered who it was. Will. Red flags instantly went up in her mind.
"Wi-" but her words were cut short with his lips crashing on hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her as close to him as possible. He was shaking, and she could imagine that he had been nervous before this. She wanted to scream at him, but with his mesmerizing mouth on hers, all she could do was kiss him back with her fury. Her hands found their way around his neck, combing the strands from his face. She was starting to lose her breath, so she pulled back.

Breathing hard, she said, "Will?" His eyes opened and she started. They were so dark and intoxicating. Like the waves of the ocean calling you out to its depths.

He gazed at her for a long moment, catching his breath, and lifted his hand to her face. That sweet face that never caused him any harm. "Oh, Tessa…" He saw how her eyes brightened at the way he said her name. He smiled sadly. "What am I going to do with you…"

She wanted to say that he could kiss her forever, but isn't that what they were fighting about earlier? Why does he have to make this so confusing! Without second-guessing herself, she said, "This," and kissed him hard. He gasped in surprise but answered graciously. She smiled sweetly against his lips, wishing that they could do this without making it seem like a job or a way of life.

She wished they could be together in all ways, not just behind closed doors. But Will is so…so…Will. And it's complicated. And different. And challenging.

But she's never been one for easy, has she?

Comment, Rate, Subscribe :)