Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!

This takes place in Twilight before the prom which is when Bella mentions how jealous she was of Edward being able to make a meal Charlie liked. Also in the outtake on SM's site with Emmett telling Bella about his turning that was taken out of Twilight it mentions Edward watching Food Network wanting to learn how to cook and frowning when another chef mentions judging by taste.

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Experiments

Smoke?

Carlisle POV

I was in my study reading a first edition copy of Dracula when I heard it. An excruciatingly annoying, high pitched, nonstop beeping noise promptly followed by the smell of smoke and hacking noises. BELLA! I thought in alarm.

I dashed down to the kitchen and was immediately immersed in a cloud of smoke. I coughed as I tried to see what was going on through the haze. It was then I caught a glimpse of a pale arm trying to wave the smoke away from the owner's face. "Bella!" I ran up to her and pulled her to me as I dashed into the fresh air outside.

It was then I noticed without looking down that the body was too hard and tall to be Bella's. "No you think?" Edward asked in annoyance as he pulled out of my grasp.

"Edward where is Bella? Is she back in there?"

He stared at me as if I were missing something obvious. "Carlisle do you honestly think I would have abandoned Bella in there? Or better yet that I would have stayed in there after I took her out of it?"

I sighed in relief and realized how stupid I was being. "Where is she then?"

"In school. If it wasn't for all the soot on us right now you would see we would be sparkling." With that he licked his finger and used it to wipe some grime off a spot on his arm thus exposing it to the sun. "As you can see it's sunny. Bella doesn't go 'hiking' like us though therefore she is in school." He said this in the same tone I have heard less respectful teenagers (not that he was one in actuality) say "duh."

"Alright then," I began slowly, "then why was there all of that smoke?"

He mumbled something incoherent in response so I repeated the question in my "do as I say and ask or loose privileges tone" and he spoke up. "I was… cooking."

I paused than asked in confusion "why?" Why would he need to cook if Bella isn't here?

"I'm trying to surprise her by making her dinner. I knew I wouldn't get it on the first try so I decided to… experiment… when she isn't around or is asleep."

I had several questions for him but years of being married have let me know the most important one to ask first "does Esme know about this?"

His blanch and comically wide eyes answered my question. "The couches!" he choked out. If he was human he would probably have just fainted. I myself probably would be doing so right now too.

We looked in each other's eyes then dashed to the house. He ran to the computers and ordered new couches (as well as anything else that was white and unwashable) online while I ran to Esme's supply closet. I pulled out the carpet cleaner (we vampires can see where the soot lands EVERYWHERE) and the vacuum. I returned downstairs to find him using multi-purpose surface wipes at vampire speed on every surface they would work on. "When will the couches get here?"

"I put in a rush order. They should arrive overnight before the rest come back in two days from the hunting trip in Canada."

I sighed in relief. "Why did we decorate in all white again?"

He rolled his eyes. "I've never actually heardthis in her head but I'm pretty sure she did it so we dread things like this even more."

It sounded like a fair guess to me. "Just what were you trying to cook anyway?"

"Lasagna. I put it in for too long." He replied as he used a scrubber and a poll to wash the walls.

"Why did you start with something so hard?" He avoided my gaze. "This wasn't your first try was it?" I asked flatly.

"Hey the other times worked! …well most of them anyway.-"

I cut him off "most of them?"

"Well… umm… you know that dog food Emmett found in the trash?"

"Yes."

"Well it was supposed to be… baked beans."

"Exactly how many 'experiments' have you done?"

He mumbled an answer and I once again repeated a question to him with my "do as I say and ask or loose privileges tone" and he said "this would be the 33rd."

"How do you know if they are edible or not once you do make them?"

"I recruited Charlie. He says if it involves free food then he's in."

I shook my head to myself. He could be very devious when he wanted to be. "You're not going to stop even if I tell you to are you?"

He gave me his best 'innocent face' and asked "you would ask something so horrible of your favorite child?"

If Esme were here she would have lied about "loving them all the same" but everyone knew he was our favorite. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. "You can continue-"

"Yes!-"

"But only if you tell Esme. And you can't try again until she says yes."

He turned sulky but nodded.

"Oh and Edward?" I asked as I went upstairs to return to supplies and vacuum and go back to my book.

"Yes?"

"Before you asked her you had never cooked." I gave him a look telling him to grasp my meaning.

"Which one is the stirring spoon again?" he replied with his 'innocent face'.

"Exactly."

I'm sorry, but I no longer plan on continuing this due to my dead Twilight muse.