Forgiveness

The sun sparkled amidst the brightest blue the sky had to offer. The sea reflected the shining blue with flashing spray as if to partake in its joy. It made even the silver haired youth look up and blink into the sky but he didn't smile back.

Riku's head drooped again and he dug his bare toes into the fine sand. Sometimes, when sky and sea united in such joy, he fled the garish sunbeams and took shelter in the shade of the rocky shoreline. Today though he faced the light. But taking sky and sea heads on all alone he didn't dare and so he settled on cooling ground, caressed it with his fingers and allowed sand and earth to soothe his mind.

I want to go down to the water. Will you help me?

He had always longed for the sea, for her blue, intelligent eyes, her playful joy, her curiosity and willingness to help. But she loved the wide free sky that sheltered her with carefree laughter, promising her all that the cool earth could never give her.

A shadow passed over his face but when he raised his gaze he didn't find himself in darkness but saw only her eyes, deep and blue like the sea. Kairi smiled at him and knelt down next to him in the sand. A wave gently touched her foot and tried to lure the sand from beneath but she stayed where she was.

"I saw you leave," she said softly, then she giggled cheerfully. "Sora is trying to show Wakka how long he can keep a ball in the air. Selphie and me didn't have that much fun in ages but something was missing. So I went looking for you."

Riku stared at the sand between his toes and did not move. "I've never been the life of a party."

She laughed again. "If only you knew how many times you made us laugh," she teased.

He didn't react and noticed with a pang of guilt how the smile melted from her face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "There are days that make me wonder how you manage to put up with me. How you can look at me without giving me the feeling that you're thinking of the things I did, of the darkness I succumbed to." His hands helplessly clasped at his knees. "Kairi, you almost died because of me! Because I gave in to Xehanort's heartless, because I wanted the power he had to offer, he almost got hold of your heart. I was so busy being better than Sora, saving you without his help, that I almost destroyed everything I ever cared about! It's not even thanks to me that you survived because I'd have come to my senses far too late if it hadn't been for Sora. How can I dare to call myself your friend after all that happened?"

His lips formed a thin line as he waited for some kind of reaction but Kairi stayed silent. When he finally dared raising his head her face was dead serious. She lowered her eyes as if fearing to look at him.

When she finally answered her face was as toneless as his had been a minute before. "I always feared you, Riku. Even if I didn't admit it to myself there was a darkness in you that scared me, really scared me."

Riku closed his eyes. It felt like meeting the illusion of Sora Zexion had showed him. A friend who didn't want him anymore. His greatest fear speaking now with Kairi's voice that made him recoil inside.

But Kairi continued without hesitating. "When we were building our raft this fear grew and though I tried to keep on smiling and laughing it was gnawing at me. When I couldn't stand it anymore I asked Sora to leave with me and leave you behind."

Riku had been sure he knew what pain was but as he felt an iron hand closing around his heart he wished the earth would open and take him. But suddenly he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, soft and almost pleading and without knowing why he managed to look at her again.

Her deep eyes, blue like the sea, swam with tears. "That just wasn't the way to treat a friend. A friend who had never shown me anything but friendliness. A friend who would venture into the greatest darkness for Sora and me without hesitating. I should have never treated you like this, because you, Riku, are one of the truest friends ever. I have no excuse but my fear but I ask that maybe you can forgive me."

He stared at her for a long time. "You..." he started. "you want me to forgive you? After all the mistakes I made you ask for my forgiveness?"

"Yes," she said simply.

In this moment something in Riku shattered, something he had carried with him for a long time, that had weighed heavy on him and had hurt him and the sudden relief ached so much that he sank on her shoulder, both joyful and tired, and wasn't ashamed when he cried and laughed and asked her to forgive him.

Kairi caressed his hair and even though he couldn't see her smile he finally found what he had been looking for.

When the stood at last Kairi's knees were red and full of sand but she made no move to brush it away. Her smile widened as she winked at him and turning around started running towards their hideout. "Are you coming now?" she cried back over her shoulder. "We cannot miss Sora's greatest triumph!"

Riku moved and sped after her. The sand sprinkled under his feet and reflected the sun's light laughing from the clear blue sky down at sea and earth.