I've written this ages ago- and finally finished it. It's pretty short and probably pretty bad, too.
Anyway: This is for the birthday girl! HERZLICHEN GLUECKWUNSCH!
HOPE
Logan lay in the hospital room, motionless. He didn't know what time it was and he honestly didn't care. Why should it matter to him?
He was trapped and helpless, pain consumed his wake hours, and nightmares awaited him when he closed his eyes. It was just so hard to figure out what was the less of the two evils.
Probably the pain. At least it kept him in the here and now, didn't make him relive that day over and over again. It didn't make him wake up, bathed in cold sweat, breathing heavily, his chest almost bursting, guilt consuming him.
He couldn't tell for how long he had been lying in this bed. He didn't have the strength to ask, either. It didn't matter. He hadn't talked to any of the staff, he endured their administrations with a stony face and gritted teeth. He felt like as long as he didn't get in touch with anybody around him, it wasn't real, as long as he stayed behind his walls, he could pretend that this wasn't happening to him. Of course, it didn't make any sense, but right now, his entire life didn't make any sense.
"Morning!" Logan didn't look up. He stared at the ceiling like he had done for countless hours. He was too weak and too exhausted to even watch TV.
"My name's Bling. Dr. Carr asked me to stop by." Logan didn't react and the tall, muscular man nodded to himself. The nurses had warned him. He took in the injured man's appearance. The face looked haggard and pale, dark circles under his dull, hollow, and lifeless green-blue eyes. Bling knew that this was going to be a hard piece of work, but he was not one to give up easily.
"Listen, man, you have been here for almost three weeks now and you need to get started with living again. We'll take it easy. If you are in too much pain, tell me. But you seriously gotta get out of this bed asap."
Still no reaction.
Bling sighed and then opened the curtains to let some strays of the sun into the room. Logan squinted and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he continued his staring contest with the ceiling.
"Today all we do is sit up, just for a moment, to allow your system to get used to it again. You might start to feel dizzy, then just let me know, okay?"
Bling worked with Logan for half an hour, he patiently explained what he was doing, but he had given up on expecting a response. When he was done he moved a chair closer to the bed and sat down, watching Logan intently. He sure was handsome, but he also was in desperate need of a shave.
"What do you say, man. We'll clean you up little, to give the nurses something to look at in here?" he stood up again. "Actually your aunt and uncle announced themselves for the afternoon."
The guy in the bed flinched at those words
"You'll see, it's gonna do you some good to see some people, especially family."
The guy's eyes turned even darker if the was possible at all." Bling frowned in confusion. He was sorry for this young man, but the act he put on wasn't going to solve anything. And it was his job to make him look forward again, to make him see life was still worth living.
Bling continued to talk to Logan while he looked through the cabinet in the little bathroom for a shaver. "Man, do you have any of your stuff here?" He leaned against the doorframe and addressed him with his name for the first time. "Logan!"
Finally the blond guy looked up and at the other man, in a hoarse and weak voice, that sounded like it hadn't been used for a long time, which probably was true, he explained. "I don't know, I guess not."
"Don't you have somebody to take care of the kind of stuff? Girlfriend? Friends? Family? You've been here for more than two weeks!" Bling couldn't believe it. How could that guy's family not show up for two weeks?
"Do you want me to call your uncle and ask him to pass by at your place and get the most important stuff? Or do you want me to get it?"
"I don't know where they put my keys and things I had with me when…"
"I do know." Bling said quickly when he felt that Logan was at a loss.
"Then please get it," he said quietly. "I don't want Jonas to sniff around in my apartment." Logan's head was suddenly spinning. The informant net! With Peter gone nobody was there to protect it!
"Are you okay?"
"I need to go to my place!" Logan tried to sit up, spots starting to dance in front of his eyes, searing pain shooting up and down his back.
"Wait, wait wait. Stop it, you can't just get up!"
You don't understand, I need to…" Logan pushed himself further up, sweat pouring down his face, his breath coming in painful gasps. Next to the pain there was a weird sensation he hadn't paid any attention to when Bling had helped him sit up earlier. He felt like he was floating, unable to sense where his body was. He gasped again. Suddenly all his strength ebbed away and he sank back, looking up at the therapist in panic and confusion.
"You need to take it easy, man. I'm here to help, but you have to listen to me and you'll have to trust me." Bling's voice was soothing and calming.
Logan realized he had no choice, maybe Bling was his chance to eventually find out what was going on, to make sense of all this craziness. So he finally nodded. "Okay. When you get to my apartment, the bathroom is…" He described to Bling where he would find everything Logan needed.
"I'll be back in an hour."
Logan sank back, now grateful for the minutes of companionship. But now he felt himself slip back to the dark place of pain, horror and loneliness. He didn't have the power to fight it off.
**
Bling returned quickly, worrying about his new patient. He had seen plenty of cases like Logan's. But this guy seemed to take it harder than anybody else. It was like he was carrying much more weight on his shoulders than he could bear, much more weight than his injury brought with it – and he seemed to be all alone.
The nurses had told him that there had been a dark-haired girl once, very beautiful, but she had disappeared and never returned. The staff assumed that she had been freaked out by his condition. That happened more often than they liked to tell.
Apart from her, nobody had ever been there.
Bling entered the room, acting cheerful. "I'm back! Found everything you asked for, and now let's get you cleaned up."
Logan's jaw tightened visibly, but he didn't say a word when Bling shaved him and washed his hair. The nurses had done that before, but Logan hadn't helped them in any way and soon they had started to do only the most important things as they sensed how uncomfortable it made him feel.
When Bling helped Logan into a fresh shirt Logan thought he would die from the excruciating pain combined with the embarrassment and feeling of vulnerability. But Bling didn't make a big deal out of it and Logan was in no condition to argue anyway.
**
Bling stayed with Logan for the next hour, carefully trying to break down the wall Logan had built up between him and the rest of the world. It was slow going and Bling soon had to realize that one wrong word, or even how he stressed something might send them back to square one immediately.
"Mr Cale, somebody's here for you." A young, blond nurse gently announced the visitors.
Logan's heart suddenly beat faster and his breath came harder. "I don't wanna see them," he explained in a whispered voice. "I can't…"
"Logan, it's gonna be okay, they are your family," Bling soothed him. "It's gonna do you some good to see them."
Logan shook his head, but Bling didn't seem to understand. Instead, he stood up, making a move to leave the room. "Can you stay?" Logan asked quickly, his voice sounding desperate. "Please."
"Of course." Bling didn't quite understand, but he wanted to gain Logan's trust, maybe that was the first step.
TBC
As I said, there is not gonna be much action, I hope there is somebody out there who still liked it!!!
Please let me know!
Anyway: This is for the birthday girl! HERZLICHEN GLUECKWUNSCH!
HOPE
Logan lay in the hospital room, motionless. He didn't know what time it was and he honestly didn't care. Why should it matter to him?
He was trapped and helpless, pain consumed his wake hours, and nightmares awaited him when he closed his eyes. It was just so hard to figure out what was the less of the two evils.
Probably the pain. At least it kept him in the here and now, didn't make him relive that day over and over again. It didn't make him wake up, bathed in cold sweat, breathing heavily, his chest almost bursting, guilt consuming him.
He couldn't tell for how long he had been lying in this bed. He didn't have the strength to ask, either. It didn't matter. He hadn't talked to any of the staff, he endured their administrations with a stony face and gritted teeth. He felt like as long as he didn't get in touch with anybody around him, it wasn't real, as long as he stayed behind his walls, he could pretend that this wasn't happening to him. Of course, it didn't make any sense, but right now, his entire life didn't make any sense.
"Morning!" Logan didn't look up. He stared at the ceiling like he had done for countless hours. He was too weak and too exhausted to even watch TV.
"My name's Bling. Dr. Carr asked me to stop by." Logan didn't react and the tall, muscular man nodded to himself. The nurses had warned him. He took in the injured man's appearance. The face looked haggard and pale, dark circles under his dull, hollow, and lifeless green-blue eyes. Bling knew that this was going to be a hard piece of work, but he was not one to give up easily.
"Listen, man, you have been here for almost three weeks now and you need to get started with living again. We'll take it easy. If you are in too much pain, tell me. But you seriously gotta get out of this bed asap."
Still no reaction.
Bling sighed and then opened the curtains to let some strays of the sun into the room. Logan squinted and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he continued his staring contest with the ceiling.
"Today all we do is sit up, just for a moment, to allow your system to get used to it again. You might start to feel dizzy, then just let me know, okay?"
Bling worked with Logan for half an hour, he patiently explained what he was doing, but he had given up on expecting a response. When he was done he moved a chair closer to the bed and sat down, watching Logan intently. He sure was handsome, but he also was in desperate need of a shave.
"What do you say, man. We'll clean you up little, to give the nurses something to look at in here?" he stood up again. "Actually your aunt and uncle announced themselves for the afternoon."
The guy in the bed flinched at those words
"You'll see, it's gonna do you some good to see some people, especially family."
The guy's eyes turned even darker if the was possible at all." Bling frowned in confusion. He was sorry for this young man, but the act he put on wasn't going to solve anything. And it was his job to make him look forward again, to make him see life was still worth living.
Bling continued to talk to Logan while he looked through the cabinet in the little bathroom for a shaver. "Man, do you have any of your stuff here?" He leaned against the doorframe and addressed him with his name for the first time. "Logan!"
Finally the blond guy looked up and at the other man, in a hoarse and weak voice, that sounded like it hadn't been used for a long time, which probably was true, he explained. "I don't know, I guess not."
"Don't you have somebody to take care of the kind of stuff? Girlfriend? Friends? Family? You've been here for more than two weeks!" Bling couldn't believe it. How could that guy's family not show up for two weeks?
"Do you want me to call your uncle and ask him to pass by at your place and get the most important stuff? Or do you want me to get it?"
"I don't know where they put my keys and things I had with me when…"
"I do know." Bling said quickly when he felt that Logan was at a loss.
"Then please get it," he said quietly. "I don't want Jonas to sniff around in my apartment." Logan's head was suddenly spinning. The informant net! With Peter gone nobody was there to protect it!
"Are you okay?"
"I need to go to my place!" Logan tried to sit up, spots starting to dance in front of his eyes, searing pain shooting up and down his back.
"Wait, wait wait. Stop it, you can't just get up!"
You don't understand, I need to…" Logan pushed himself further up, sweat pouring down his face, his breath coming in painful gasps. Next to the pain there was a weird sensation he hadn't paid any attention to when Bling had helped him sit up earlier. He felt like he was floating, unable to sense where his body was. He gasped again. Suddenly all his strength ebbed away and he sank back, looking up at the therapist in panic and confusion.
"You need to take it easy, man. I'm here to help, but you have to listen to me and you'll have to trust me." Bling's voice was soothing and calming.
Logan realized he had no choice, maybe Bling was his chance to eventually find out what was going on, to make sense of all this craziness. So he finally nodded. "Okay. When you get to my apartment, the bathroom is…" He described to Bling where he would find everything Logan needed.
"I'll be back in an hour."
Logan sank back, now grateful for the minutes of companionship. But now he felt himself slip back to the dark place of pain, horror and loneliness. He didn't have the power to fight it off.
**
Bling returned quickly, worrying about his new patient. He had seen plenty of cases like Logan's. But this guy seemed to take it harder than anybody else. It was like he was carrying much more weight on his shoulders than he could bear, much more weight than his injury brought with it – and he seemed to be all alone.
The nurses had told him that there had been a dark-haired girl once, very beautiful, but she had disappeared and never returned. The staff assumed that she had been freaked out by his condition. That happened more often than they liked to tell.
Apart from her, nobody had ever been there.
Bling entered the room, acting cheerful. "I'm back! Found everything you asked for, and now let's get you cleaned up."
Logan's jaw tightened visibly, but he didn't say a word when Bling shaved him and washed his hair. The nurses had done that before, but Logan hadn't helped them in any way and soon they had started to do only the most important things as they sensed how uncomfortable it made him feel.
When Bling helped Logan into a fresh shirt Logan thought he would die from the excruciating pain combined with the embarrassment and feeling of vulnerability. But Bling didn't make a big deal out of it and Logan was in no condition to argue anyway.
**
Bling stayed with Logan for the next hour, carefully trying to break down the wall Logan had built up between him and the rest of the world. It was slow going and Bling soon had to realize that one wrong word, or even how he stressed something might send them back to square one immediately.
"Mr Cale, somebody's here for you." A young, blond nurse gently announced the visitors.
Logan's heart suddenly beat faster and his breath came harder. "I don't wanna see them," he explained in a whispered voice. "I can't…"
"Logan, it's gonna be okay, they are your family," Bling soothed him. "It's gonna do you some good to see them."
Logan shook his head, but Bling didn't seem to understand. Instead, he stood up, making a move to leave the room. "Can you stay?" Logan asked quickly, his voice sounding desperate. "Please."
"Of course." Bling didn't quite understand, but he wanted to gain Logan's trust, maybe that was the first step.
TBC
As I said, there is not gonna be much action, I hope there is somebody out there who still liked it!!!
Please let me know!