uglytruth.html "Oh my God." Whispered Jim the cup the twelve year old had been holding shattard on the floor of his room.
"Jim? What is the matter?" Asked the Outlaw Star's secondary computer Gilium2 though one of it's many little, 'handy' droids.
"It's . . . . it's her . . " Jim seemed phyically unable to go above a whisper. He had decided to go though the data the space forces and Fred Low had on the assasins the K pirates had sent after them. Now that Jean and co had cost the pirates the Galatic Layline it only a matter of time before the remaining pirates came looking for revenge. He had decided to go though the Seven, the top assasins that they had fought on the way to the Layline. Jim had to fight to keep from fainting at seeing the profile of member number two, though maybe that was what he wanted to do. The profile of the second member of the seven, was a small black hair girl around Jim's age, with two cats in the photo, one black, one white. Jim didn't need to read her name. He knew it already. He should. She had told it herself on their date . . . He had never made the connection. Homeoh. Why should of he? There was no logical reason to think the girl he met in the park was a K-pirate assasin. Or that the triple grappler ship that had attacked them just before ariving there was her's. There was no reason think the reason she didn't show at their next meeting was she was dead. He had assumed she had dumped him. There was no reason to think that he had killed her. He had killed her. It was his combat system and he had killed her without even knowing it was her! Had she known he was part of the Outlaw Star's crew? No, not a chance. The only ones the K-pirates had a profile of at the time was Gene and of course Melfina. He, Sasuka and Ashsa were still unknown at that point. But . . . but . . . but she had seemed so friendly, so kinds, she couldn't of been a killer. He rebulked himself for being that navie. Sasuka was friendly too. But she had killed more people than Jim would ever hear about. And Ashsa was often too friendly, much like a cat, but Jim had seen first hand just how vicious the Kataro Kataro were in any battle, hand to hand or otherwise. Trying to denie it wouldn't make the heavey feeling in his stomach go away. Or that fact he had killed her.
"Her who Jim?"
"T-the girl I met after we left Heyfong. Homeoh. The one I told you about. The one who I . . . fell in love with . . . and . . . and . . .. AND I KILLED HER!" Jim bellowed into every part of the XGP star ship.
"What do you mean? You killed her?"
"We . . . we ran into the remaining Seven at the Layline, there was only two we never saw face to face, and . . . that was she was one of them! Maybe . . . maybe if she knew . . ."
"Logic dictates she would of killed you without a second thought."
"You don't know that!"
"I don't know if you'd die if you went outside without a space suit, but it's still a sure bet. Just as I know factors that already dictate events, I know also, that for humans, for many at least, killing is just another job."
"What do you know about humans! You dumb computer!" Jim started crying.
Gilium wasn't know for having his feelings hurt. "That hurt Jim." But there were exceptions. The handy droid sluked away without a word. Jim was too caught up in crying his eyes out to notice. [i] Homeoh . . . I killed you. It was the one who came up with the combat system we used when we encountered your ship the second time. I was so proud of what we, I, had done, all I could think about was getting back to you. I didn't have a clue that I had just slaughtered you. [/i]
Looking at the picture on the screen again, tear now flowing freely, Jim cried himself to sleep.

"Sazuka, would you please wake up the others?" Said the costum pink handy bot Jim had made so long ago. The ninja assasin sat crossed legged in her quarders. She opened her eyes looking at the machine, thiking of how many ways she could slice it in two before Gilium's cencors had a chance to pick up her movments, then again, she thought of that every time someone was in killing distance.
Jean was a hopeless over sleeper, and Ashsa, well, was Ashsa. Jim was appointed at getting them both out of bed. One, Gulium's handy's were helpless when getting the Outlaw out of bed, and Jim could dodge heavy objects faster than the computers robots when dealing with Ahsa. Sazuka knew that the Outlaw Star's computer wasn't stupid. Which meant he must of been desprate to ask her a favor. But her courosity still arose her.
"Why doesn't Jim just do it as ussual?"
"Jim is included i that request, he's locked me toltally out of his room and I haven't been able to get passed his file locks."
"The child is propably just on his projects."
"It is the project that is the cause of his distress."
Her eyes narrowed. "I'm listening."
"I am sorry but I feel it is out of place for me to be the one to tell anyone."
"Why not Melphena?"
"She is getting breakfast ready."
"Very well." She wasn't getting much metetation done anyway.

Sazuka knocked once. Didn't get an answer. And blew the door off the wall's hingers. Jim finnaly noticed her.
"Go away." Jim said plainly.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm not going to explain it to every person I talk to."
"Very well." Sazuka took her meditation pose on the floor next to Jim, who had actully slept in the chair next to the computer.
Jim tried to ignore her like he had before. But the assasin's constant imposing presence was more than enough to dirve the boy insaine. That's all he was really. A little boy pretending to be an adult. Finnaly after an hour and a half of this. He spoke.
"I killed her." He whispered.
"Mind if I ask who?" Said the assasin if she was discussing the weather.
"Homeoh." Jim said hoping it would make her go away.
"Ah yes. That girl love of yours that turned out to be a K-pirtate."
Jim was perplexed and confused for only a minute.
"You knew!" He snarled.
"Isn't that what I just said? I've spent half my life studying the K-pirates. And knowing their seven top assasins was part of it."
"Why . . . why didn't you tell me!"
"Because I knew this would happen. And I didn't think you would ever find out on your own. I came to the conclusion myself after you told me about your girl friend having a pair of cats."
"And you didn't tell me . . . ."
"Having you moping around wasn't a luxury we could afford."
"But we've beaten the K-pirate for months now and you never said a word."
"Some things are best left unknown. Wouldn't you prefer if you never found out?"
Jim was silent, his thought going around in circles. Finnaly he answered.
"No . . . I . . . I want to know this. It . . . wouldn't be right for me never to of found out."
"Good, your starting to think."
"Huh? But you just said-"
"To get you to think for yourself. At the Layline . . . the K-assasin I faced told me he was in love with me."
"Huh? Wha? But, but that doesn't make any sense!"
"Love never makes sense. We were warriors on opposing sides, that's all that mattered, besides I had . . . other reason . . . for wanting to kill him. It wasn't the first time we met."
Jim was silent. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"But I wanna be sorry."
"Suit yourself. Your choice. You should know also Jim. Your girl friend also made her own choice a long time ago. Love is a beatiful thing you will get no argument from me on that point. But like bravery, it knows neither good or evil. In spit of what you might think of them the K Pirates DO have a structure of loyailtiy, she would of no more betrayed the K pirates for you then you would of us for her. Who knows, maybe if things had been different, in another time and place, you and Homeoh might of been friends. They say their are infinate possible realities out there Jim, if it makes you any happier, there might be one out there where you and her are together on this side of the specturm . . . Come out when your ready. I'll tell Gilum to leave you alone." The warrior woman left.
"Thanks Sozuka." Said Jim quitly. The pain wasn't gone. But at least he could take in each breath without feeling guilt. Life went on. Weather you wanted it to or not. Life went on.

Do you think it would be took cheap to have Homeoh sirvive the battle near Hyfong and having spent the last few months or so in a coma and then waking up with her long term memory history? (like Trowa in Gundam Wing)

I know I can't spell.

Flames, comments, suggestions, reactions, occasional constructive critizem all welcome.