Disclaimer: I own em! Hahahahahaha! Sorry, moment of delusion there. Taking psychotic drugs…. Ok, no I don't own them, but I can keep on dreaming!
A/N: This came out of boredom and several cups of coffee. Just so you know "" is what is said aloud, and ** is what is thought. I thought that it might be worth posting here. R&R for me please!!!
Chapter One
"Are you thinking what I am thinking?"
Sam Carter turned the monitor so that the rest of her team could see it . The screen showed the side of a mountain with a lovely field in front of it. The wind on the planet was blowing the wild grass gently and it looked to be rather peaceful.
"So what do you think, Carter?" Jack O'Neill asked, staring at the screen.
"Well, sir, I don't see anything that poses a threat. As far as atmosphere goes, it is fine. It looks like a good place and one that would be worth going to look at." She replied. Jack rolled his eyes, knowing this was going to be one of the boring missions that he hated so much. At least there were no trees close by.
"Fine. I will talk it over with Hammond." He said, resignedly, and left.
The next day, after making sure that nothing had changed on the planet, General George Hammond gave his flagship team the go-ahead. As they were walking up the ramp, he heard the Colonel start singing "On the road again…" He grinned to himself, and waited a moment after the wormhole disengaged before leaving to finish his chat with the President.
A little over an hour later, the alarms went off.
"Incoming traveler! Incoming traveler!" was screeched across the base. That , plus the wailing of the sirens, was enough to wake the dead. The General rushed to the Control Room just in time to hear the Sergeant say it was SG1' code.
"Open the iris." He commanded. A minute later, SG1 strolled through the gate and down the ramp.
"Welcome back, SG1. How was your mission?" Hammond asked, pleased to see that they were all in one piece.
"Fine, General. No trees, no Goa'uld, no crazy aliens trying to kill us. Kind of boring, actually." Jack replied.
"Good. Debriefing in one hour." Hammond said. The team nodded and left to change and see the Doctor.
Half an hour later, they were all sitting in the infirmary, waiting for their post-mission shots.
"Tell me something, Doc. What, exactly, do those shots have in them? Super-Glue?" Jack asked as he pulled his pants back up. Janet chuckled and turned to Daniel.
"Not always, Colonel. Sometimes I put just plain old water in there out of spite." She replied cheekily.
"What?" She heard Jack ask.
"I said, sometimes I just put water in there." Janet repeated.
"I know that. What did you say, Daniel? I couldn't hear you over Carter jabbering to herself." Jack said. Janet paused in confusion. Neither Daniel nor Carter had spoken.
"I didn't say anything, Jack". Daniel said, giving Janet an equally confused look.
"Sure you did. I heard you, or tried to." Jack responded. * Good grief. And they say HE is the genius! *
"Jack, honest! I didn't say anything. And thank you very much, but my IQ is considerably higher than yours." Daniel replied smartly.
"Daniel, you did say something. And I did not say a thing about your intelligence, although I am beginning to wonder." *Geek *
"I am not a geek!"
"I didn't say you were!"
"Jack, you just…"
"Would you two stop it!" Janet cried. Something definitely wasn't right.
"I heard that, Carter!" Jack yelled. Janet turned to him, pulling back the drape separating him and Daniel.
"Colonel, Major Carter didn't say anything." She told him.
"Of course she did. She said that she though both of us were geeks." He said defensively, and Daniel nodded in agreement.
"I did not!" they all heard Sam say.
"The Tauris are strange beings." They heard Teal'c say.
"We do not need your two cents right now, Teal'c." Jack said, frustrated.
"Sir, he didn't say anything." Janet defended, wondering if maybe they had lost their minds…or maybe she had lost hers from being around them too much. By this time, all four members were standing there. Jack looked at Carter, and his eyes went wide. Staring at her intently, as if by doing so, he would learn the meaning of life, the light bulb finally went off.
"Carter, think of something." He said, his eyes narrowing in thought.
"Like what, sir?" she asked, confused by his question.
"I don't know. Um…your favorite color." He said. Sam shrugged and closed her eyes. Jack listened closely, and then jumped as he heard her say "Dark blue," but her lips never moved. He decided to test his theory.
*Is that the color of your underwear right now, Major?" he thought, never verbally saying a word. Sam's eyes shot open and she glared at him.
"I believe that is a bit inappropriate, sir." She said stiffly, and then blushed. * Thank God he doesn't know it is true! * she though, belatedly. Jack looked at Daniel and Teal'c with a grin. The first was blushing, but wide-eyes with shock. The second man had his eyebrow in the air.
"Did you hear that?" jack asked and the other men nodded.
"Now, Daniel, you think of something." Sam said. Janet stood back and watched as suddenly Jack and Sam burst out in laughter. Daniel sat there and blushed and Teal'c's eyebrow just went higher, although now with more amusement.
"What?!" She asked, completely lost.
"Where in the world did you find boxer shorts with pyramids on them?" Jack asked, finally controlling his laughter.
"You don't wanna know." Daniel replied sheepishly.
"Now, you Teal'c." San said, turning to the last member of the team. Teal'c nodded and closed his eyes.
*Kree * he though and the other 3 chuckled.
"Good one." Daniel said.
"Would someone please tell me just what the hell is going on?" Janet cried.
"Well, it seems that we can hear each other's thoughts, Doc." He said, and then grabbed his ears. "Stop that! Both of you, now!!!" He yelled at Daniel and Sam. They had both suddenly gone off in tirades mentally and it was too much for Jack's precious ears to withstand.
"Sorry. sir. Um…clear your mind, Daniel." Sam said and closed her eyes. Jack heard her quiet down, but Daniel was still going crazy.
* This is amazing! I have never heard of this before in any of the ancient mythologies! Maybe it is something like Celtic or something that we haven't run into like that yet. Or maybe something that just didn't originate from here. Maybe something on the planet! No, we didn't see anyone or anything that would likely cause this…maybe a flower or… * he mentally rambled.
"Daniel, shut up!" Jack cried out, causing the archeologist to jump.
"Sorry." He said aloud, and then mentally quieted down.
"Now, we need to talk to Hammond about this. Everyone to the briefing room. You, too, Doc." Jack said.
A/N: Ok, so here is the first part of the story. Funny? Pathetic? If you want more, or even if you don't, then review me and maybe I will consider going on. It actually gets funnier down the road, but this should give you a taste of what the rest will be like. Anyone got any idea who or what is doing this? Hehe…R&R~~~~~~~~
A/N: This came out of boredom and several cups of coffee. Just so you know "" is what is said aloud, and ** is what is thought. I thought that it might be worth posting here. R&R for me please!!!
Chapter One
"Are you thinking what I am thinking?"
Sam Carter turned the monitor so that the rest of her team could see it . The screen showed the side of a mountain with a lovely field in front of it. The wind on the planet was blowing the wild grass gently and it looked to be rather peaceful.
"So what do you think, Carter?" Jack O'Neill asked, staring at the screen.
"Well, sir, I don't see anything that poses a threat. As far as atmosphere goes, it is fine. It looks like a good place and one that would be worth going to look at." She replied. Jack rolled his eyes, knowing this was going to be one of the boring missions that he hated so much. At least there were no trees close by.
"Fine. I will talk it over with Hammond." He said, resignedly, and left.
The next day, after making sure that nothing had changed on the planet, General George Hammond gave his flagship team the go-ahead. As they were walking up the ramp, he heard the Colonel start singing "On the road again…" He grinned to himself, and waited a moment after the wormhole disengaged before leaving to finish his chat with the President.
A little over an hour later, the alarms went off.
"Incoming traveler! Incoming traveler!" was screeched across the base. That , plus the wailing of the sirens, was enough to wake the dead. The General rushed to the Control Room just in time to hear the Sergeant say it was SG1' code.
"Open the iris." He commanded. A minute later, SG1 strolled through the gate and down the ramp.
"Welcome back, SG1. How was your mission?" Hammond asked, pleased to see that they were all in one piece.
"Fine, General. No trees, no Goa'uld, no crazy aliens trying to kill us. Kind of boring, actually." Jack replied.
"Good. Debriefing in one hour." Hammond said. The team nodded and left to change and see the Doctor.
Half an hour later, they were all sitting in the infirmary, waiting for their post-mission shots.
"Tell me something, Doc. What, exactly, do those shots have in them? Super-Glue?" Jack asked as he pulled his pants back up. Janet chuckled and turned to Daniel.
"Not always, Colonel. Sometimes I put just plain old water in there out of spite." She replied cheekily.
"What?" She heard Jack ask.
"I said, sometimes I just put water in there." Janet repeated.
"I know that. What did you say, Daniel? I couldn't hear you over Carter jabbering to herself." Jack said. Janet paused in confusion. Neither Daniel nor Carter had spoken.
"I didn't say anything, Jack". Daniel said, giving Janet an equally confused look.
"Sure you did. I heard you, or tried to." Jack responded. * Good grief. And they say HE is the genius! *
"Jack, honest! I didn't say anything. And thank you very much, but my IQ is considerably higher than yours." Daniel replied smartly.
"Daniel, you did say something. And I did not say a thing about your intelligence, although I am beginning to wonder." *Geek *
"I am not a geek!"
"I didn't say you were!"
"Jack, you just…"
"Would you two stop it!" Janet cried. Something definitely wasn't right.
"I heard that, Carter!" Jack yelled. Janet turned to him, pulling back the drape separating him and Daniel.
"Colonel, Major Carter didn't say anything." She told him.
"Of course she did. She said that she though both of us were geeks." He said defensively, and Daniel nodded in agreement.
"I did not!" they all heard Sam say.
"The Tauris are strange beings." They heard Teal'c say.
"We do not need your two cents right now, Teal'c." Jack said, frustrated.
"Sir, he didn't say anything." Janet defended, wondering if maybe they had lost their minds…or maybe she had lost hers from being around them too much. By this time, all four members were standing there. Jack looked at Carter, and his eyes went wide. Staring at her intently, as if by doing so, he would learn the meaning of life, the light bulb finally went off.
"Carter, think of something." He said, his eyes narrowing in thought.
"Like what, sir?" she asked, confused by his question.
"I don't know. Um…your favorite color." He said. Sam shrugged and closed her eyes. Jack listened closely, and then jumped as he heard her say "Dark blue," but her lips never moved. He decided to test his theory.
*Is that the color of your underwear right now, Major?" he thought, never verbally saying a word. Sam's eyes shot open and she glared at him.
"I believe that is a bit inappropriate, sir." She said stiffly, and then blushed. * Thank God he doesn't know it is true! * she though, belatedly. Jack looked at Daniel and Teal'c with a grin. The first was blushing, but wide-eyes with shock. The second man had his eyebrow in the air.
"Did you hear that?" jack asked and the other men nodded.
"Now, Daniel, you think of something." Sam said. Janet stood back and watched as suddenly Jack and Sam burst out in laughter. Daniel sat there and blushed and Teal'c's eyebrow just went higher, although now with more amusement.
"What?!" She asked, completely lost.
"Where in the world did you find boxer shorts with pyramids on them?" Jack asked, finally controlling his laughter.
"You don't wanna know." Daniel replied sheepishly.
"Now, you Teal'c." San said, turning to the last member of the team. Teal'c nodded and closed his eyes.
*Kree * he though and the other 3 chuckled.
"Good one." Daniel said.
"Would someone please tell me just what the hell is going on?" Janet cried.
"Well, it seems that we can hear each other's thoughts, Doc." He said, and then grabbed his ears. "Stop that! Both of you, now!!!" He yelled at Daniel and Sam. They had both suddenly gone off in tirades mentally and it was too much for Jack's precious ears to withstand.
"Sorry. sir. Um…clear your mind, Daniel." Sam said and closed her eyes. Jack heard her quiet down, but Daniel was still going crazy.
* This is amazing! I have never heard of this before in any of the ancient mythologies! Maybe it is something like Celtic or something that we haven't run into like that yet. Or maybe something that just didn't originate from here. Maybe something on the planet! No, we didn't see anyone or anything that would likely cause this…maybe a flower or… * he mentally rambled.
"Daniel, shut up!" Jack cried out, causing the archeologist to jump.
"Sorry." He said aloud, and then mentally quieted down.
"Now, we need to talk to Hammond about this. Everyone to the briefing room. You, too, Doc." Jack said.
A/N: Ok, so here is the first part of the story. Funny? Pathetic? If you want more, or even if you don't, then review me and maybe I will consider going on. It actually gets funnier down the road, but this should give you a taste of what the rest will be like. Anyone got any idea who or what is doing this? Hehe…R&R~~~~~~~~