DISCLAIMER: 24 is owned by a whole bunch of corporate types, of which I am not one. Capiche?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: CTU always seems so serious…but then, it is serious work. This is my method of lightening the mood a little bit. I've always thought Tony was a jokester underneath what we see on the show. This is pre-season one. How pre is up to you.
RATED: G
APRIL FOOL'S
It was April Fool's Day. Tony had many memories of April 1st, some of which were more pleasant than others. In first grade, he had performed the famous chalk-in-the-eraser trick on his teacher. Sixth grade, he'd put fake vomit in his sister Leslie's lunch. The next year the joke had been on him, except Leslie's comeback was far more convincing. Tony's freshman year of high school, he and Leslie had gotten their oldest brother Carlos-whose birthday just happened to fall on April 1st-by making him a birthday cake out of Styrofoam.
Carlos. Tony sobered a bit at that memory. That had been Carlos' twenty-first birthday. The next year he had been killed in the line of duty. Carlos would be thirty-nine today, he thought, making a mental note to call his mother and Leslie at some point.
The phone on his desk rang, and Tony snapped out of his daydream and scrambled for it. "CTU, Almeida."
"Hi, Tony?" A young female voice on the other end said. "It's Kim Bauer. Is my dad there?"
Tony looked up from his cubicle to Jack's office. "Sure."
"Can I speak to him?"
Tony raised his finger to push the button that would forward the call to Jack, and then stopped. Should I or shouldn't I?
"Tony?" Kim asked.
Go for it. "Sure, Kim, just a minute." He hit the button that would allow him to speak to Jack on the intercom. "Jack?"
"What is it, Tony?" Jack asked.
"Kim's on line two for you," Tony answered.
"What's she want?" Jack asked.
I was hoping you'd ask, Tony thought. "She just got her nose pierced."
"WHAT?!" Jack's shout could be heard all through CTU. "Let me speak to her!"
Wordlessly, Tony hit the button.
"Kimberly Ann Bauer!" Jack railed at his daughter. "Do you really think I'm stupid enough to put something like this over on?"
"What, Dad?" Kim asked, sounding totally baffled.
"When your mother hears about this, she's going to go through the roof!" Jack continued.
"What, Dad?" Kim repeated. "What have I done?"
"Don't give me that! Jack snapped. "You know full well what you've done!"
"I don't, Dad, I really don't!" Kim protested. "Please tell me!"
"You think you can just waltz into the mall and have your nose pierced?" Jack asked. "We've been down this road, Kim! You know-"
"Nose pierced?" Kim shrieked. "Dad! Where did you get that? I'm just calling to see if you want to go out for dinner or not tonight!"
Jack stopped, his rage giving way to confusion. "What…"
"Since Mom's visiting Aunt Carol and she isn't here to cook, I was wondering if you wanted to go out," Kim clarified.
"We can go out," Jack said absently.
Kim nodded. "All right," she said. "What was with the whole nose piercing thing?"
Her father paused for a moment. "Tony told me…I'll be home around five, honey. I have some massive retaliation to take care of."
"Massive retal-" Kim stopped as her dad hung up the phone. What was that all about? And why would Tony say I got my nose pierced?
Tony was unable to contain his laughter as Jack charged down the stairs.
"TONY!" Jack bellowed. "Why on earth-"
"What's going on?" Nina asked. "I heard you yelling all the way across the bullpen."
"Tony just told me Kim got her nose pierced!" Jack said irately.
"Did she?" Nina asked.
Tony shook his head and managed to compose himself long enough to say, "April Fool's, Jack."