Disclaimer : I don't own anything from Shingeki No Kyojin, of course.
This is a translation of my own collection of ficlets : Les Humeurs d'Hanji Zoe (s/11075461/)

Notes : Hi ! I don't know how to start this note because it's the first time ever that I publish something in english. I'm French, and I have to admit that I'm curious to explore the english fandom. (No, in fact, I'm frightened!)
This fic is a crack fic, there's nothing smart about it, so it may be OOC sometimes. But I hope that it will make you smile, at least.
Levi is called... Rivaille. It's ugly, I know but I feel like it's perfect for cracks.
Thank you to Akuma Shoujo23 who make it readable.

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01.
Rivaille and the bathtub.

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If there was something that Hange Zoe would ardently protect, it would be her privacy. However the squad leader had no scruples about violating others.

"Oy, Four-Eyes ! Get the hell out of here! Your shoes are filthy!"

"Oh! Rivaille~! It is for the sake of science! You're the perfect subject for my study about the proportions of the human body!"

Carefully folding his shirt, the squad leader grumbled. The thought of having his bath in peace seemed impossible! Fucking Four-Eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that, you're crazy! I'm gonna keep my pants on until you get your ass out of here. And hurry up, before I make you!"

"Come on, it's for the sake of science!"

He clicked his tongue and he pushed her struggling self out of the bathroom.

"Go check out the proportions of the titans instead of pissing me off!"

"I've already checked it out, you dummy! The Titans have no reproductive organs! Moreover, Eren, he..."

"Do you think I give a fuck about that?" he roared, before looking his colleague in the eyes, those eyes.

"I repeat, I don't give a shit! OKAY?"

"Come on, Rivaille, I've been so bored since my two titans were killed, and Eren still not managing to transform... You just have to show me your..."

A kick in her ass tossed her out and he locked the door behind him.

"What a pain in the ass!" he sighed, hoping to be finally able to wash himself quietly.

Keeping an ear out for the slightest noise, and considering the silence as being a good sign, he decided to undress. Once completely bare, ready to go into the bathtub, he heard the key turning in the lock.

"HANGE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"