—

It's their last night together before he leaves once more for his mission. They cling to one another in the darkness of her bedroom and she gazes at his face as he drifts in and out of slumber, taking in the sight that she will no longer have come dawn.

"Sasuke-kun?" she says quietly, almost hoping that he won't hear. This isn't likely, however, because his shinobi senses are so finely tuned that he can hear even the faintest of heartbeats.

"Hm?" he replies, half asleep. She hesitates, mulling over the words in her head, fearing the reply that she'll receive. He must sense this because he pulls her closer into his chest and says, more awake now,

"What is it, Sakura?"

She gazes at him, his, now open, dark eyes meeting her bright ones. Seeing the warmth and understanding radiating from them gives her strength to ask the question that has been spinning around in her head all night. Still maintaining eye contact, she finally asks,

"Are- Are you sure that I can't come with you this time?"

Silence.

After what seems like a lifetime, Sasuke sighs and looks to the ceiling, "You know the answer to that question."

Sakura sits up and hovers over him. The tears that she's been fighting since he told her that he was leaving threaten to unleash themselves.

"But I can be of use to you, I know I can. I won't be a burden. I-"

"I don't doubt that."

"Then why? Why can't I come with you?"

"Because this is something I have to do alone."

"But Sasuke, you don't have to do everything alone anymore. You have me." she says shakily. Sasuke sits up and wraps his strong arms around her.

"I know… and that's why I have to do this. So I can keep you safe, so I can keep on having you." He whispers. Tears fill her eyes at his words and she sobs into his bare chest.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun. You better come back to me." she states firmly.

"I always will."

And with that he lays down and pulls her onto his chest where they fall into a deep sleep.

—

She wakes up the next morning to an empty bed and an even emptier heart. It was typical of him to not wake her up before he left, but it still hurt just the same. The bright light of the morning peaked through the closed blinds and shone onto a small box and letter on her bedside table. Noticing it almost immediately, she quickly grabs the letter and carefully rips it open.

"Sakura,

You looked so peaceful sleeping, I couldn't bear to wake you. I hope this gift makes you believe my promise that I will come back to you, no matter what. I hope this gift reminds that you are mine, and I am yours. Forever.

I'll be back before you know it.

Sasuke"

She reads and rereads his beautiful script over and over, her overflowing tears wetting the page. With shaking hands, she opens the small box. She gasps when she sees a small and beautiful pendant bearing the Uchiha clan fan. Without hesitation she puts it on. The emptiness in her heart that she felt when she woke up has now vanished because she knows, with certainty, that her love will return to her and she will never stop waiting for him.

—-

It's been six months since Sasuke left for his mission and Sakura can't help but miss him with every fiber of her being. So she throws her self into her work, taking longs shifts at the hospital and any mission that comes her way. But despite her efforts, her longing for Sasuke persists. She longs for his touch and to see the smile that he reserves just for her and to hear his deep voice saying her name and his intoxicating scent.

With this longing comes other feelings. Often times she worries about Sasuke and his safety. But she tries to push this feeling away by reminding herself that he is one the strongest shinobi the world has ever seen and that she has no need to worry for him. She tells herself that Sasuke will come back to her in one piece because there is no other option.

—

It's a particularly slow day at the hospital, so Sakura's thoughts are completely plagued with Sasuke. She thinks of his lips on hers and his hands on her waist. She thinks of his smirk and the heat behind his eyes. She thinks of the ways he says "I love you" without actually saying the words. She thinks of everything she loves and misses about him, which is everything. Her thoughts are so caught up in Sasuke that she doesn't notice an ANBU at the doorway of her office.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Haruno-san, but Lord Hokage has requested that you report to him immediately."

Sakura jumps at sudden voice. Collecting herself, "Of course. Did he happen to say why?"

The ANBU hesitates. Sakura stands, her heart pounding.

"What is it?"

"I think it would be better if you heard from the Hokage himself."

—-

It takes Sakura all of two minutes to reach Kakashi's office. She throws open the door and she is greeted by Naruto's back.

"Ah, Sakura. Come in." Kakashi says, turning his attention to her. She throws him a questioning look, but her former sensei's eyes betray nothing. She glances to her team mate hoping to find answers there but Naruto's blue gaze is set straight ahead.

Her heart drops.

Something is wrong.

It is so unlike Naruto to not greet her loudly, to not even look in her direction. Something must've happened. Her mind races trying to settle on some conclusion.

"What's happened? Why have we been summoned?" she asks, trying to keep her voice even.

"It's Sasuke." Kakashi says solemnly, his eyes not reaching Sakura's.

"Sasuke?" her voice breaks, "Please- Please tell me he's alright."

"Due to the nature of his mission, Sasuke was target to many dangerous enemy nin. While he was doing a research in a small village in the rain country, there was an attack…" Kakashi said, fighting to keep his voice from cracking.

"An attack? Is he injured? Where are his exact coordinates? I'll leave right now!"

"Sakura, the whole village was decimated. There were no survivors. I'm sorry sakura, but he's gone." The hokage states grimly.

Gone?

"…. What do you mean, gone? He's not gone. Sasuke can't be gone. He's stronger than any enemy nin." Sakura argues. There must be a mistake. They must not have looked hard enough.

"Sasuke is dead, Sakura." Naruto blurts, his cheeks wet with tears.

"No he isn't. He can't be. He'll send word soon, you'll see."

"Sakura, it's been 3 weeks since the devastation. We have received no word from him. We've sent out multiple search parties and they've all come to the same conclusion. Sasuke perished in the devastation. I'm so sorry, Sakura." Kakashi says quietly.

"No, no! He can't be dead! I'll go look for him myself, since you clearly can't find any shinobi that have any talent to go!" Sakura shouts.

"Sakura, I was a part of a search party. He's gone." Naruto cries, tears rushing down his face.

"He can't be… He promised…" Sakura sobs, her legs shaking, threatening to give out.

Seeing this, Naruto rushes and pulls Sakura into his arms, sobs escaping him.

"He can't be gone, he can't be…" Sakura cries.

"I know, Sakura." Naruto hiccups as he strokes her hair soothingly.

—

Konoha held the memorial service for Sasuke on a Wednesday. Nearly all the surviving shinobi of the war came to pay their respects. Although Sasuke was never the most liked person, he was very well respected across the nations. Leaders and powerful people from all corners of the shinobi world came to lay to rest the last of the now extinct Uchiha clan. His uchiwa adorned headstone lay next to his mother and father's with the rest of his fallen clan.

—-

Sakura has cried enough in the last year to last herself a lifetime, she thinks. Today is the year anniversary of Sasuke's death and her heart hurt as if he died just yesterday. The weather was gloomy and grey, which was fitting in more ways than one.

She wished she could smile when she noted this, but she couldn't. Not yet. Sitting at her kitchen table, she wondered when the last time she truly smiled was. She wondered when the the last time she was truly happy was. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment, but she knew with almost complete that it was the last time she was with Sasuke. Her heart ached at the memory of him.

It had been the hardest year of her life, living knowing that Sasuke was not. Sometimes she pondered why his death felt any different than his number of absences throughout. Why it didn't hurt this much when Sasuke had abandoned the village, since there was no promise of him returning then. In a twisted way, the reminder that Sakura had spent most of her life without Sasuke brought her comfort. It made her feel, in a way, like he wasn't truly gone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door. Already knowing who it was, she opened the door.

"Are you ready?" Naruto asked standing in her doorway, his eyes puffy from the tears he undoubtedly shed.

Sakura nodded and walked out of her apartment, shutting the door behind her. They walked together, through the streets of Konoha, in silence only stopping at the flower shop to purchase a bouquet. Naruto had not been the same after Sasuke's death. He wasn't quite as cheerful and boisterous. It was as if a piece of him had died with Sasuke. And, in a way, it had.

When they reached the cemetery, Sakura placed the bouquet next to the headstone and her and Naruto sat before it. Hugging her knees, she stared at the words "Uchiha Sasuke" that were engraved on the headstone until they went blurry. Hours had passed this way, her and Naruto sitting in silence with what was remaining of their fallen teammate.

"I figured you two would be here." A familiar voice said behind them just as dusk hit. Sakura didn't need to turn to know that her former sensei had come to pay his respects as well. Neither her nor Naruto replied to Kakashi, but he stood there with them anyway.

—-

As time went on, Sakura found that it had become easier to live knowing Sasuke was dead. The wretched pain in her chest had dulled to a small ache that could be ignored if she threw herself into enough work.

Today, she was leading a critical surgery with a fellow medic of hers. The hours spent in the operation room were long and strenuous, as the procedure was very difficult and took complete concentration. It wasn't her first time performing it, but it was her teammate's, so she spent a lot of the time talking him through it. Thankfully, the surgery was a success.

Wanting nothing more than to return home and take a shower, Sakura quickly left her patient's room hoping that no one would stop her on the way.

"Haruno-san!"

She had hoped too soon. She turned, trying to disguise her irritation, to her fellow medic that she had just performed the surgery with standing behind her. His name was Tadashi Endo, a medical nin two years her senior who had just recently left the field to work in the hospital full time. He stood more than a head over Sakura and was built with strong and broad shoulders. He was handsome in an obvious way, with an angular face and strong jaw. His eyes were a light hazel that lit up when he smiled his dimpled smile and his hair was dark as the midnight sky. All of the nurses and female doctors swooned in his beauty, even Sakura had noted that he had a pretty face.

"Ah, Endo-san, hello." Sakura replied, forcing her smile. He bowed to her.

"Thank you for all your help today. You are truly an exceptional medic. And, please, call me Tadashi."

"You are a great medic, yourself. My teaching can only go so far, you were the one that did the work."

"That means a lot coming from you, Haruno-san." He smiled brightly.

And Sakura smiled back.

For the first time, in what seemed like a lifetime, Sakura did not have to force her smile.

"Call me Sakura." she said without much thought.

"Of course. Have a great rest of your night, Sakura. I hope we can talk again soon." Tadashi replied before turning to return back to his duties.

Sakura continued on her way home, not realizing that for the first time in years, Sakura's thoughts didn't travel back to Sasuke when she was speaking to another man.

—

"If he were alive, do you think Sasuke would've joined us tonight?" Naruto asked quietly, nursing his third cup of sake.

It was what would've been Sasuke's 21st birthday and Naruto and Sakura had decided that they should go out and get black out drunk to celebrate. Nearly two years after his death, the pair still couldn't openly discuss Sasuke without some form of intoxication. Without the aid of alcohol, the topic stung too much. Sakura was convinced neither would ever fully heal from his death.

"Absolutely not." Sakura giggled into her cup of sake, feeling buzzed.

"That bastard." Naruto laughed, "He was never one for bars. Or socialization."

Sakura laughed, remembering the times that she practically had to drag Sasuke to social outings. The laughter between the two didn't last long, however, because the sadness that came a long with his memory quickly followed. There was a comfortable silence between the two as they continued to drink their pain away.

"Do you think you'll ever love again?" Naruto asked after he finished his fourth cup of sake. Sakura's eyes stung, threatening tears, at the question. She had pondered it herself, many times.

"Not like I loved Sasuke." She answered, because that was the only truth she could give. The only conclusion that she came to.

"I don't think he would want you to close yourself off for the rest of your life, I think he would've wanted you to find love again. To be happy." Naruto said after the minute he took to digest Sakura's answer.

Sakura snorted, "You sure about that?"

"You're right, he was a possessive bastard. But more than anything he wanted you to be happy. I think, that if you found someone, it would be okay. I think he would be happy because you'd be happy, ya know?" Naruto slightly slurred. Sakura contemplated this. Maybe Naruto had a point. But Sakura wasn't sure that it made any difference, because she had known ever since she was a child that her heart and her soul would always belong to Sasuke.

"I dunno- did that make any sense?" Naruto asked when he noticed Sakura didn't reply.

"It does. Don't worry." Sakura reassured him sadly.

Trying to move on from topics that would only depress her further, she asked Naruto about his relationship with Hinata and he got all smiley and flustered. Sakura knew that Hinata was the one that got Naruto through the hard part of grieving Sasuke, and that a wonderful relationship had bloomed between the two. As much as she was happy for her two friends, she couldn't help but be envious.

While Naruto had began to ramble on and on about Hinata and their escapades, Sakura couldn't help but notice that Tadashi was at the bar not too far away from their table. He was with a small group of friends, laughing loudly and smiling brightly with what seemed to be no care in the world. Since their encounter after the surgery, Sakura had been seeing more and more of Tadashi. They had grown closer, talking to one another on a regular basis and even sharing lunch breaks when their schedules permitted. She had grown to care for Tadashi and she felt that he was a good distraction from her thoughts, even if it just were for a little while. She liked being friends with someone new, someone she shared no history with. She mused that it was because she shared no memories with him that included Sasuke. Despite their growing friendship, she had never seen Tadashi outside of a work setting. Seeing him in this way, so unprofessional and carefree, made her happy for some reason.

Noticing that something had caught his companion's attention, Naruto followed Sakura's gaze to find it on Tadashi.

"Who's that?" Naruto asked, curious.

"Huh?"

"Who's that at the bar that you're gawking at, Sakura-chan? Do you know him?" Naruto elaborated, although he wasn't sure why he had to. Sakura was obviously distracted by him.

"Oh, that's Tadashi Endo. He's a medic at the hospital with me." Sakura said casually. Naruto nodded, but couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the story than what she let on. He had seen a look in Sakura's face that he hadn't seen in a long time. A look that he thought that he would never see again. He shook his head at the idea, though. It was probably just the alcohol clouding his vision. Probably.

Noticing Sakura's stares, Tadashi smiled warmly and raised his drink to her. Sakura smiled and raised her drink in return, blushing slightly. She told herself that the blush was probably the alcohol. Probably.

—

"Did you have a good time at the bar last weekend?" Tadashi asked over their lunch break the following Monday. They were sitting at their usual table in the corner near the windows. It was unsettling to Sakura to have a usual place with someone other than Naruto or Ino or… Sasuke. But it was nice, nonetheless.

Sakura smiled, "Yeah, it was good to catch up with Naruto. It feels like I haven't spent any real time with him in a long time."

Tadashi nodded, his smile making his eyes light up.

"Well it's good that someone had a good time at that god forsaken place."

"You didn't have a good time? You looked like you were having so much fun." Sakura asked, a little shocked. Tadashi laughed,

"So you were watching me? I'm flattered."

Sakura snorted, "Oh, shut up." She felt a blush creep up, "So tell me what makes that place so 'god forsaken'." And he did. And Sakura laughed with Tadashi at his wild anecdote and shared some of her own, and before she knew it her hour lunch break was over. As they were leaving Tadashi brushed his arm against Sakura's and said,

"I know if I was there with you, it wouldn't have been so horrible." and Sakura's blush came back with fury.

"Maybe we should go together some time…. only to prove your theory of course." Sakura replied before she had time to think about what she was saying. She couldn't regret it however, when she saw how warmly Tadashi smiled in reply.

"I would like that."

And so would she, Sakura decided.

—

It had been two years and seven months since Sasuke's death, Sakura calculated one Saturday afternoon. Three years and one month since she looked into his eyes, heard his voice. His voice was still clear in her mind but she wondered when the small details of him that she memorized would fade. When the only way she could recall the curve of his nose or the darkness of his eyes would be when she was looking at a photograph of him. As the months and years continued to pass, this notion became ever more present in her mind.

Knowing that she had somewhere to be, Sakura scurried through her small and tidy apartment searching for her bag. Upon finding it, she glanced at herself in the full length mirror that she kept in her hallway leading to her bedroom. She was wearing a typical civilian outfit, a simple red dress that skimmed a few inches above her knee and her typical ninja boots. She also wore the Uchiha necklace that Sasuke gave to her, an accessory that she hasn't been seen without since receiving it. It had become one of her most precious items, a constant reminder of the love she shared with Sasuke. Lost in thought, she grazed her hand lightly across her chest touching the necklace. Shaking herself out of reverie, she left her apartment and headed to the cemetery.

After his death, Sakura used to visit Sasuke's grave nearly every day. But, as time passed, she spent less and less time there. Today's visit was the first one in two months, the last visit being on his birthday with Naruto. She cursed herself for not visiting more often, for allowing these trips to slip her mind.

When she got to the cemetery, she found that she was not the only one who took the time out of their day today to visit him.

"Kakashi-sensei!" She called out to her former sensei when she saw him standing in front of Sasuke's headstone.

"Hello, Sakura." Kakashi replied, closing his eyes to show that he was smiling. Sakura stood next to him, setting down the bouquet that she had picked up on the way next to the one that Kakashi had brought.

"It's been awhile since you've visited." Kakashi noted quietly. He didn't mean this to be cruel or malicious in any way, Sakura knew, but the words still stung anyway.

"Am I awful for that?" She replied.

"No, just human."

"I know I should come more often… It's just- It's hard to be here sometimes." She said lamely. Kakashi nodded. They stood together in silence as the sun began to set and the cool air began to blow in.

"How long does it take to forget?" Sakura asked suddenly. Kakashi turned to look at her, his eyebrows raised slightly. He mulled the question around in his mind for a moment before replying.

"It depends," He said thoughtfully, "There are some days where I can't remember my father's face or how tall my sensei was. But, no matter how much time has passed, I have never forgotten Rin's voice…. Why?"

"I-I'm just afraid that one day I'll forget Sasuke without even meaning to." Sakura's voice shook, tears filling her eyes. Kakashi looked at her with sadness in his eyes. He reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder, offering some comfort to the crying kunoichi.

"I promise you, you'll never forget him. He'll always be with you, in one way or another. Just like he'll always be with me and Naruto, even if we can't remember the sound of his voice." Kakashi added, "And it would make sense, anyway, he didn't use it that much to begin with."

Sakura giggled, wiping the few fallen tears. Her former sensei always had a way of making her feel just a little bit better. Noticing how much time had passed, she began to collect herself.

"I have to go… I'll see you soon, Kakashi-sensei." Sakura told her, turning to leave.

"Off to meet a friend?" Kakashi asked knowingly.

"Yeah, something like that." Sakura replied a little shocked, somehow Kakashi always knew everything. She waved goodbye, leaving her sensei to stand alone in front of Sasuke's grave.

—-

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Sakura said, hurrying to the table where Tadashi sat drinking a beer.

"No worries." He smiled, "I'm just glad you could make it."

Sakura smiled and blushed in reply, sitting down across from him at the small tall table that sat in the dark corner of their favorite bar. This was her and Tadashi's third outing together. Outing, not date. She thought to herself firmly. After settling in her set, she began to turn to ask the waitress to bring a sake, but there was already one of the table waiting for her.

"How'd you know?" Sakura asked suspiciously.

"It's what you always order." Tadashi shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. Sakura beamed at him. She tried to ignore the flipping in her stomach that came with the statement.

"You remembered?"

"Of course, I remember everything about you." Tadashi smirked, a blush coloring his cheeks that Sakura returned.

They spend the rest of the night drinking, talking, and laughing. At almost 11, after they are both a few drinks in, Tadashi leans forward and touches Sakura's pendant.

"You really loved him didn't you?"

Sakura's heart dropped, her smile disappeared. Noticing this, Tadashi quickly said, "I'm sorry- I shouldn't have said that." his face a violent shade of red. Sakura shook her head,

"It's fine, really. It's just, no one really asks me about him anymore. So I was just a little surprised, that's all." She forces a smile to try and make him feel better, but Tadashi doesn't look reassured.

"I should've known better, I'm really sorry." He says again, grabbing her hand that was resting on the table. Sakura's blush returns.

"It's okay, really. You know, you don't have to be afraid to say or do things around me. You can ask me anything you want about him, or any aspect of my life if you really want to know."

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt too much to talk about him?"

Sakura shakes her head, "I rarely ever talk about him anymore. I remember when I was younger, he would always be a recurring topic of discussion. But now, it's almost taboo… Come to think about it, I think the last time I've heard anyone say his name near me was months ago."

Tadashi nodded, letting go of her hand. As soon as it was gone, Sakura found herself missing the feeling of his calloused palm against her skin. She shook this feeling out of her mind, however.

"But to answer your question: yes, I really did love him… so much that sometimes it hurt." Sakura admitted. She avoided his gaze for a moment, but when she did meet it she was surprised by what she saw. She had half expected him to look at her with pity, but instead he looked at her in a way that she could only identify as love. Her heart began to pound loudly against her chest. She had suspected for months that Tadashi felt this way about her, and with this look her suspicions were confirmed.

"And it really hurt losing him so suddenly, it felt like I had almost lost my purpose in life," Sakura continued, "But I'm okay now. I'm not really in pain anymore. I guess after all this time, I've finally accepted it."

—-

After getting their fill of sake and the bar's atmosphere, Sakura and Tadashi decided to leave and wander around the village. Heading nowhere in particular, the pair continued to talk and share their stories with one another. Sakura found that it was easy to talk and open up to Tadashi, like they've known each other their whole lives rather than a few months. They were approaching her apartment, and she realized that she didn't want the night to end. She casually bumped his arm, which she swore to herself wasn't on purpose and she gazed up to his smirking face that was lit up by a nearby streetlamp. Noticing this, Tadashi met her eyes and beamed at her.

"What?" he asked, a little self conscience.

Sakura shook her head and walked further ahead of him, "Nothing."

He quickened his pace to catch up to her and then poked her side, "No, tell me! Is there something on my face?"

He grabbed her shoulders and brought her to a halt. They were now standing alone on the street that lead to her apartment underneath a streetlamp. Sakura looked up at Tadashi, biting her lip.

She giggled, "There's nothing to tell. You're being silly!"

"Please, I'm never silly!" he joked, running his hand through his dark locks, "I just want to know what you're thinking. I want to know the mysterious Sakura Haruno."

Sakura snorted, "Mysterious? Me?"

"Yes! You're so hard for me to read."

"Then you must be bad at reading people because I am the opposite of mysterious, I'm an open book." Sakura laughed.

"Not to me, I guess." Tadashi said quietly, suddenly serious.

"What is it?" Sakura was now asking. She moved closer to him, close enough for her to smell his masculine scent and the sake on his breath and to feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. Tadashi shook his head slightly, a sad smile spreading across his face.

"Now who's being mysterious?" Sakura said quietly, poking his chest playfully. When she did, Tadashi grabbed her hand and held it. Sakura's stomach erupted in butterflies and she blushed furiously, but didn't take her hand away. She looked up to her companion, his expression unreadable looking as though he were lost in thought.

"I'm in too deep, Sakura." Tadashi said quietly, letting go of her hand and turning away from her.

"W-What?" She said, "What do you mean 'in too deep'?"

Tadashi turned back to look at where Sakura was still standing frozen in place. His hazel eyes dark with emotion. Suddenly, he was in front of her, grabbing her waist almost possessively. Their chests touching now, Sakura thought she could feel his heart beating loudly. Or maybe it was her heart she was feeling. She gazed up to Tadashi, who was staring intently at Sakura, his eyes drifting to her mouth and then back to her green gaze.

"You're so beautiful, Sakura." Tadashi said, sounding breathless, "You're probably the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on."

Sakura's heart skipped a beat at his words. Tadashi leaned his face closer to Sakura's and stopped an inch away from her. His eyes questioned her. Sakura moved closer, almost closing the distant between them. With that, Tadashi lightly pressed his mouth to hers. The kiss was soft and gentle to begin with, but as he gained confidence, he pressed his lips firmer against hers and held her body closer to his. Sakura laced her fingers through his dark hair and opened her mouth to him. The heat of the kiss filled her body and pooled in her lower stomach. After what seemed too short, Tadashi pulled away, breathless. Still holding her, he smiled brightly and rested his forehead against hers.

And Sakura smiled back.

But she couldn't help the overwhelming guilt that was flooding through her, rivaling the heat that Tadashi's lips had brought her.

—

That night, when she got home, Sakura cried.

She cried because she was angry. Angry at her mouth for enjoying Tadashi's kiss, angry at her lips for wanting more. But mostly, she was angry at herself for not being able to recall the feeling of Sasuke's lips on hers. When had she lost the memory of his mouth on hers, she wondered. Was it tonight? Or last week? Or had it happened years ago without her noticing? She sank to the floor of bedroom and sobbed. She had betrayed Sasuke, and herself, by kissing Tadashi, by having feelings for him.

She stayed on the floor until the dawn broke. Then, on that very same floor, Sakura cried herself to sleep.