I do not own the Mass Effect universe. Credit goes to Bioware.

Joker sits in the pilot's seat of the cockpit pushing buttons and reviewing data. He hears approaching footsteps and turns around: "Commander. Something you need?"

"We weren't properly introduced before," Commander Shepard holds out her hand. Joker takes it and suppresses the desire to yelp at her firm grasp. "I'm Commander Jane Shepard, of course."

"Right," Joker responds. "I'm Joker."

"'Joker?'" Shepard repeats.

Joker rolls his eyes. "Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau."

Shepard looks him over. "I see you're not one for protocol, lieutenant."

Joker returns the lookover. Shepard is tall for a woman. Her high cheek bones are balanced over a somewhat unfemininely prominent jaw. Her dark blonde hair is pulled back into a bun.

"You're observant there, Commander." Joker responds.

Shepard taps her temple a few times and points to him. "Ball caps are not standard issue Alliance uniform. Nor are beards standard Alliance grooming."

"You got me," Joker says, "Good thing Anderson never noticed."

Joker turns his chair back around to face the console, feeling a little annoyed at the disapproving look offered by his new commander and captain of the Normandy.

Shepard changes the subject after a moment. "How is the Normandy performing?"

"She's the best ship in the fleet, if you've got a pilot who can handle her."

Shepard crosses her arms and smirks at him. "And do I?"

Joker sighs deeply. "You did a background check on me, didn't you? Well, let me tell you: I'm not just a good pilot, not even a great one. I'm the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet! Top of my class in flight school. All those commendations in my file? I earned every single one of them. They weren't just given to me as some charity for my disease."

Joker's commanding officer raised her hand to silence him. "Disease? I didn't do a background check. Just making my rounds, getting to know my crew. You're sick?"

The surprised look on her face seems genuine.

"You mean… You mean you didn't know? Aww, crap." Joker shakes his head at his mistake and flies through his well-rehearsed explanation without hardly taking a breath. "I have Vrolik's syndrome: brittle bone disease. The bones in my legs never developed properly. They're basically hollow. Too much force and they'll shatter. One wrong step and crack! Very dramatic! But don't worry. It doesn't affect my ability to fly. You put the Normandy in my hands and I'll make her dance for you. Just don't ask me to dance unless you like the sound of snapping shinbones."

Shepard responds, "Noted."

Joker feels she isn't fully convinced yet, but she will be. They always are... With time. He changes the subject. "Congrats on making Spectre, by the way."

"Thank you," Shepard says. "I remember how you said you don't like Spectres. Hope that won't affect your job, lieutenant."

Crap, thinks Joker. "I said Specters are trouble and that's why I didn't like Nihlus. I just don't like the idea of someone with that much power and that little accountability. It breeds, well, Sarens. But don't worry, Commander. I trust the Alliance and I trust Anderson. If he thinks you're the right replacement captain then you are, regardless of your spectre status."

"That will work." responds Shepard. "I need your respect and obedience, not your approval."

"Yes, Ma'am." Joker hopes that statement didn't sound as sarcastic out loud as it did in his mind.

Shepard steps back to exit. "I'll leave you to it."

"See ya, Commander."

Joker hits the appropriate buttons to secure the Normandy's course and set her to an overall state of autopilot. He shakes his head to himself as the thinks of his new CO.

Damn that woman's intense, and intimidating…