Pain is all I have ever known through out my life. It came in many forms physcial, mental, and verbal. It also came from many people either family or strangers, I never found comfort in anyone. For nineteen years I struggled alone even hurt myself many times but no one cared. Then one day I found a light that changed my whole world within a few seconds. Everything I knew was ripped away from me I was surrounded by warm caring souls though I didn't know what love was at the time. I have never experienced love so it took some time before I became familiar with gentle touches and warm feelings. Slowly I became used to these feelings but little did I know I would face tasks that leaned me to where I had started. This time when I face my demons I will be stronger, better.

Chapter 1.

The beginning

The room was dark and cold a small boy curled up on a dirty mattress in the corner. He could barely make out the shape of a dresser on the far wall far to dark to see anymore details. He curled up tighter in the corner his small arms wrapped around his legs shivering as he was not given blankets nor pillows. That was his life the only time he was allowed out of the room was to go to school so that no one knew his parents didn't care about him. The room smelled awful though he had grown used to it the reason was simply the buckets he used to use the bathroom. He rarely got food and when he did it was left overs tossed to the floor before the door slammed shut. He had lived this way for years the situation became common placed for him he followed everything his parents said with a dull look on his face. Some days though they would forget to lock the door and he would crawl out at night eating food they wouldn't miss then cleaning himself. Slowly as he grew older everything became worse. His father would come in to beat him everytime he got in a fight with his mom. It started out as bruises until his sixteenth birthday that day his father broke his arm but he held in his cries as not to aggravate them more. He curled up fearfully in that corner clinging his arm to his side silent tears running down his cheeks. He had never felt pain like this before but he grew accustomed to it like everything else. Over time many of his bones had been broken leaving scars but never disforming him. Once he had hoped he was going to be saved as the police raided his house but they never found him. That day he had lost all hope you would probably die like this no one knew he even exsisted. For days no one came to let him out or feed him he could slowly feel deyhdration set in becoming weaker everyday. That's when the door slid open and he didn't see his family but a female wearing a badge that read C and Y. At first when she approached he coward away afraid she was here to hurt him but instead he was handed a bottle of water. He hastily drank the water almost dropping it before he downed the bottle totally. She talked to him told him everything was alright that he would be leaving there was a better place for him. He decided to trust her because he knew if he ddin't he would die there. She brang him outside wrapped a blanket around him then herded him into a warm car his bare feet felt softness for the first time. Everything after that was confusing to him he was brought to an office where he was given plenty of food and new clothes to wear. At first he didn't like shoes or sock they felt wierd on his feet he had barely ever worn them before. That night he was given a real bed the matress felt like silk to him like the scarf his mom had worn once. He huddled in the blankets soothed by warmth for the first time he slept so deeply he didn't wake up for almost a whole day. When he was awoken by the same woman she began to explain he was going to be placed in a home. He begged her not to he didn't want to be hurt again he just wanted to be alone. They didn't listen to him though a few days later he was sent to live in what was called a foster home. He was the fosters very first child probably not the best child he thought. They took care of hime fed him but he didn't like them they didn't understand his reluctance to care for them or be cared by them. His room was nice but plain though he didn't have many personal things. Though he was reluctant to care for his foster parents they began to grow on him it was a year and they still hadn't thrown him out or even hurt him. By his eighteenth birthday he felt at home his drawers were full of clothes he even had a phone. On his birthday he recieved a gift that made him happy beyond words, the offical adoption papers of Alex Xavier Dunmish. He almost cried to see his foster families last name as his. From that day on he though everything would be okay he thought that he had finally found the peace he had dreamed of. One day that peace came to an end when he answered a call from an unknown number the voice at the end of the line shook him. "Hello Alex haven't seen you in so long. I thought you died at the house." The rough tone of his father made tears well up in his eyes his body began shaking with fear. He hung up the call but his father kept calling until he was forced to mute his phone. After an hour of him huddling under his covers he recieved one text. I'm coming for you it read those words made his chest ache and his breath turned ragged. He didn;t know if he should tell his foster parents or not he wished that everything would go away. That night he didn't sleep and faked sick the next day just so he could stay in bed. He cried until he couldn't anymore the pain of the past seemed like a new anchor that wieghed down on his chest. He didn't know what to do he was hopelessly lost feelings like the world fell away then he was alone again. For the next for days he didn't recieve any more texts or calls this just made his anxiety increase because he didn't know what his father was planning. Eventually his foster parents caught onto his strange behaviour but he reluctantly said he was stressed. He didn't want to freak them out if his father was just messing with him. Over the days he began to forget the threat that had been given to him until late at night a knock sounded in the door. That was odd but he left it for his foster parents to get, he slowly drifted off to sleep again awoken fully by the sound of a gun shot. As he rose out of bed another gun shot resonated about the house then a door slamming. He ran down the stairs to find his foster parents bleeding out about the entrance hall their eyes closed blood pooling around their bodies. He didn't scream though his eyes widened in horror he walked over to the phone fumbling with it until it connected.

The Call

Hello 911 what is your emergency?

S...someone shot my parents...T...they're bleeding. I..I theres so much blood I don't know what to do.

Sir is the person still in the house?

No...They um...they're gone I heard them leave.

Sir we're sending help your way just stay on the phone with me.

End Call

He held the phone tightly to his ear barely able to speak as the operator tried to calm him down tears streaming down his face. He flinched when the ambulance pulled up hanging up the phone he ran outside telling them his parents we're inside. He watched from the lawn the events that unfolded slowly his tears stopped and he became numb. He should of known his past would catch up to him he just wished it wasn't so soon. They wheeled the bodies out cops that stood nearby blocking everything off offered him a blanket. They told him he needed to go with them because they needed to check him out. He nodded not wanting to argue that he was not hurt he was filled with so many emotions he thought his head would explode. Where would he go now and what would he do? The only people he had found that cared for him we're gone he was alone again. They drove him to the hospital the ride was silent but the ER they took him too was quite noisy. The doctor said he was okay of course but his foster parents weren't. He meant his C and Y worker again for the two years they had parted. She had tried to comfort him but he just stared dully at the floor barely catching the words she said. She bought him breakfast though he couldn't eat he almost puked from just seeing food. Luckily he was told his foster moms sister had offered to take him in. It wasn't long that his aunt came to pick him up rushing over to ask him if he was okay. "I'm fine...but..." He said in almost a whisper unable to finish the sentence before his voice broke tears finding his cheeks again. She embraced him holding him close telling him it would be okay that they would find the man who did this. At that instant it clicked the threat his real father that was the one who did this. "M...my father he did this he texted me he got out of jail." He looked up at his aunt pleading tears rolling down his cheeks in pathetic sight. They were silent unsure of how to answer before the worker said she'd tell the cops this. He was once again dragged off to another but unfortunately this time they had to head back to his house before he could go with them. He packed a bag stepping around the puddle that was soon cleaned although it did leave a stain. This time he had to start over farther away but he was unsure if his father would just find him again.