I don't own Harry Potter

It was wrong, it was right, it was pain, it was pleasure, it was strength it was weakness, love, and hate. Tear, shouting. Laughing, kissing. It was a contradictory fight to the end.

He loved her, he shouldn't because she was his cousin. In their family it really didn't matter except he was a Gryffindor and disinherited, she was a Slytherin, the perfect pureblood daughter already promised away.

"We can't do this anymore," she breathed against his swollen lips. His hands tangled in her silky blond locks.

"That's what you said last time, and the time before that and every time since we were fifteen." He scoffed ravishing her mouth once again. Pushing her against the wall, she fought against the desire to meld herself back into her body. She fought against it pushing him away once again.

"I'm serious, Sirius. We can't do this anymore. Lucius is getting suspicious I think he's going to start having me followed," she steeled every nerve in her body to tell him what she had to. "I'm pregnant." She breathed releasing the secret she'd been harboring for weeks. He gasped releasing her he stepped back looking at her wide-eyed.

"You're…you are... Pregnant... baby… Whose?"

Gray eyes met pale blue. "Yours of course but let's hope Lucius doesn't figure that out."

"No Cissy if that's my baby you're leaving that bastard. We are not allowing my child to be raised a Malfoy."

"You have no choice. I have no choice." She paced wildly around the room.

"No you had a choice you chose to marry him, even though you loved me." He grabbed her arm twirling her towards him. Fire and ice meeting like so many times before.

"NO Sirius I'm not you."

"Right." He scoffed "Perfect Narcissa. Never steps out of line Narcissa. Does everything Mummy and daddy says. Too bad they don't know we've been rolling in the sheets since we were fifteen. "The sound of her hand hitting his cheek reverberated around the room.

"How Dare you."

"How dare I?" you're the one who is denying me my child." He hissed.

"It has to be this way don't you see?" Tears poured down her pale cheeks. "Right or wrong we've both made our choices. You choice to leave closing the doors to us. I chose to stay and in the bargain had to marry Lucius. I don't love him. Can never love him but I won't leave him. I'm not strong enough to live under the scorn of the family the way you do. "

Of course not." Sirius snorted. "Why would you ever want to displeasure our evil family? How is Bella still as crazy as every? What about Andy, still disowned because of who she loved. You'd really still be in contact with the crazy sister, married to the pureblood lord instead of being with me or talking to your actual sane sister. You can do what you want Cissy, you can be married to who you want. I can't stop you but that." He pointed to her stomach. "That is my child and I will fight you tooth and nail for him or her."

"Sirius No." she was pleading now. Her hands over her stomach. You can't. You can't do it. He'll kill me."

"What do you mean why would he kill you."

"Are you kidding the humiliation of it all would be enough and he's powerful enough to get away with it but that's not all If we divorce I lose my magic. It's written into the marriage contract. I can't live without my magic." She was crying now tears running down her pale cheeks.

"How could you sign such a thing?" Sirius was vibrating with such rage, "

how could I have ever loved someone who is so weak so pitiful." He snapped at her. He hadn't slapped her but she felt like he had stuck her as her whole body shook. What are you going to do when he finds out? Because he isn't stupid Cissy, he isn't dumb and he's going to figure it out."

She shivered as if Dementors were in front of her. "If he finds out he won't do anything not publically the humiliation will be too much."

"Oh so he won't kill you because you swear he'll kill you if you leave but raising your bastard child that will be okay."

"I'll give him an heir a pureblood one, that's all he really wants so the blood won't be strictly Malfoy. Having an Heir holding up public perception that's all Lucius cares about. The Humiliation of the word knowing I'd slept with someone else would be worse for him then the secret humiliation of raising another man's child."

Sirius shook his head. He knew he was out of options. The world wouldn't believe him. There was no such thing as Paternity spells. Oh Gringott's had a test but that was only given to of age wizards who were collecting inheritances and only when asked. They would never give it to a baby, and he could never ask for it to be given to a baby. The world wouldn't believe him even if he did come out and tell them it was his baby. His heart was breaking. He looked at the woman he had loved all his life. a gulf between them he thought would never form. Anger, hurt, betrayal. It all welled up inside of him.

"I hate you." He spat, I hate you and I day mark my words I'll figure out a way to get my child back, one day." With those words he stormed out of the room in a far off inn that they'd secreted away in and apparated to James and Lily because he had to tell someone. He had to let the burden off his heart and shoulders.

Narcissa slide against the wall, letting her perfect pureblood façade fall as tears fell from her eyes the color of a raging stormy sea. What had she done, how had she ended up here. Could she ever get out of it? She loved Sirius she'd always loved Sirius. It was supposed to be him and her against the world. Then he got sorted into the house of Red ad her into the house of Green and he'd defied his family at every turn and she'd still loved him because he was Sirius. Then he'd gotten blasted from the family tree and ran away to the Potters, and she still loved him though by that moment she knew it wasn't going to be forever. Then a betrothal contract between her and Lucius and she knew he was lost forever because she wouldn't say no to her family. She wouldn't' live outside the pureblood sphere.

Couldn't, it was too ingrained in herself. The only thing she'd ever done to defy her family they didn't even know about. No one knew about the clandestine nights. The heated kisses the love, the passion. That spilled between them. Their secret to take to the grave. Or so she thought. She pulled herself together the perfect pureblood wife and she made her way towards the manor that held her cold, distant loveless marriage another man's baby in her belly.

Sirius landed in the Potter garden. He stared at the cottage, imagining James and Lily in there in their little happy bubble and he resented them for a split second he resented their happiness. That they could laugh and hug and kiss and when they had a baby everyone would know and celebrate. It wouldn't be some dirty little secret.

He made himself move, made himself pull out of the resentment. He made himself walk up the path to that door. He stalled for a second. Letting some of the anger and resentment fade from his face. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open. "Hello." He called out. Trying to make his voice sound normal like he wasn't being held together by a string. A very tiny, very fragile string.

"Hey Padfoot what are you doing here?" James came into the room stopping short at the look on his friends face. For even if Sirius was trying his best to mask it James Potter knew him better then then almost anyone except maybe Narcissa. "Padfoot is everything okay?"

With those words Sirius crumbled in on himself the tears came and he fell to the ground. James stood in shock staring wide-eyed at his best friend.

"Hey James did I hear Sirius?" Lily came into the room and stopped in her tracks. "Oh my god." She rushed to Sirius's side as James feet finally seemed to move but instead of moving towards his distraught friend he moved to the fire place. He grabbed a handful of floo powder and threw it into the fire calling out.

"Remus Lupin."

"James is everything okay?" Remus asked his head coming into the fire.

"No, something's wrong with Sirius I need you to get here."

"Should I get Peter?"

James bit his lip. "No his mum is sick don't want to worry him more."

"Okay step back James I'm coming through." James hurried back as Remus stepped through the floo and into the Potter's living room "Oh my." The man said looking down at their friend I Lily's arms. "What's wrong with him?"

"We don't know he showed up here looking horrible when I asked what was wrong, that's what happened." James motioned to him.

James and Remus slowly made their way to their friend.

"Hey Serious what's wrong?" Remus crotched down level to the other man. Sirius looked up at his friends swallowing and pushing himself out of Lily's arms. The red head stood up and James and Remus helped Sirius to his feet getting him to the couch. He buried his head in his hands and he took a few shuddering breaths before he looked back up at them again.

"Narcissa."

With one word three faces looked murderous. "What did that Bitch do to you this time." James growled. The Marauder's didn't like Narcissa that wasn't a hidden secret. Only those in the room knew that Sirius was still meeting up with his teenage love. Or that he had loved her to begin with. It wasn't that they didn't trust Peter but the fourth member of their group never seemed inclinded to care about romances and always got a grossed out look when they were talked about so they just didn't talk about it around him.

"She's pregnant."

Lily gasped stumbling and James had to catch her. "Yours or Lucius's?" she asked.

"She says mine I believe her but she won't leave him says she'll lose her magic and he'll kill her so she's going to let that monster raise my child. There's nothing I can do you know that you know how our world is." he swallowed. She holds all the cards and I hold none." He shook his head.

"Oh Sirius." Lily sat beside him. "I'm so sorry." Well inside she was cursing Narcissa Black Malfoy. Plans were made in the minds of the four to fight to do everything to bring the baby to them. What none of them knew at that moment though was that another baby was coming. A baby and a prophecy that would change it all. Make it all impossible.

What they didn't know was that soon war would come to their very doorstep tearing them apart. Two boys would be born. One under a false name. one left an Orphan both destined to live similar lives in different circumstances. Drawn together under a cloak of secrecy. Secrets it was the word that would tie them all together. Secrets of the past, present and future.

A/N so next up we'll have Draco's Birth and Harry's all in one chapter. Not sure if we'll have Halloween of 1981 in that chapter or another. Then we'll have a few chapters leading up to that day in Diagon Ally that the boys meet but it will go differently.