This is just a little thing I typed up when I got bored last night. I don't really like it that much, but I'm typing it. It's just Sasuke thinking about how he was raised and his relationship with Naruto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, which can be clearly seen by the innate lack of yaoi!
The 'Inner Mind' of Sasuke Uchiha
When you are alone, and no one is there to criticize you or to judge you, one often lets things slip. Such as: your own stupidity, thoughts you might have usually kept at bay. Your improbable desires can, all at once, become obtainable. Even if it's only a flicker across your mind: it's there. As your mind wanders, it can take you to a place where anything, and everything, is just a whim away. And in your lonely, weakened state you just might give in.
That is what I was raised upon. Since a very young age, I was taught that if I truly wanted anything in this life, I would need focus. And, so, I focused. I focused very hard. Some might say I pushed it to the edge of obsession. My father was proud, I tried to give him any reason to be. My family praised me for my strict attention to detail. So, when they were all wiped out, it was one of the few things had had left to show of their influence on my life.
But, here I am, with everything but a focus. I never really offer my mind the opportunity to stray. I don't have many fears, yet I fear that if I let my emotions run away with my attention, I will only end up knowing too much about how I really feel. I know that only makes me a coward, but I would rather be a stubborn coward, than a broken fool. And that is how my logic would normally stand. Normally.
In this rare and singular chance, a slip of my resolve, I already know what I am going to see: Naruto. I love to think that I severed my bonds with him; I'd scream it in his face if I thought it'd make a difference. No matter how much I tell myself I'm cold, emotionless, an avenger, he comes back to me in one way, or another. He's the only one who made an effort to get close to me; I'm not sure if he realizes how close he got.
To me, a punch to the face from him meant more than the many times Sakura or Ino latched onto me. I've held him, kissed him, and even spared his life where none other would have been allowed to survive. I know how I feel about the blonde; it is one of the few things I am certain of in this life. But, no. I had to keep my focus. I had to leave behind the only good thing I had going for me. And on rare occasions when I let it slip, I know I want him to drag me back. Like he promised he would.
It hurts, so much more than any bodily wound. When he looks at me. In those few instances, I almost long for the sharingan to take its toll: drown me in the darkness. Maybe, then I wouldn't see his deep blue eyes glisten with unshed tears as he thinks back on our times together, the times he thinks I've forgotten.
Tell me what you think, I don't plan on changing it, though. But, tell me if you liked it!
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