This is a one-shot of Toontown life during a day of Toonfest. Nothing actually happens in this story, but it may be a good base for me to write something later. Feel free to suspend reality for a moment (like common physical safety and conservation of mass) and keep your eyes peeled for jokes about classic cartoon features and 1950s television practices.
You know, for such an overt display of anti-Cog propaganda, Toonfest sure was a lot of fun!
Gigglepoof supervised her little boy Sammy as he and other children bounced with abandon on a large picture of a Cog's face made into a trampoline. The image was much more hilarious than a Cod's face in real life. One dog child had hijacked a set of his parents' juggling balls, and he and Sammy threw them at the other kids and even the adults who passed by.
Gigglepoof observed this all while soaring through the air after being blasted from a cannon. It was a long shot. She ricocheted between springy marshmallow clouds rather helplessly for a few seconds before slamming into a great pine tree. She comically slid down the trunk, and her husband, Rob, was among the five or so laughing at her mishap, including herself. Trying to blast off in one of those kooky cannons was just asking for a hilarious outcome, and a good laugh was why so many toons came to the festival.
Little did the bystanders know that Gigglepoof had about twenty tiny cupcakes clutched in her gloved hand—it was a miracle she didn't drop them while she was in the air. Rob must not have known her secret, because he innocently ran over to her and pulled her sooty body from the tree trunk. She quickly shook the birds away from her dazed mind and began to launch her assault on the still laughing toons around the tree.
By the time they saw the full size cupcakes coming for them, it was too late to dodge! Gigglepoof was talented in throwing desserts; she had practiced for years to be able to throw them before they had completely grown to their full size, which had helped her out in many battles. Her arm could automatically account for the change in mass with the wit of a thousand calculators. As a result, rainbow toons of all different species became even more colorful as cupcakes hammered them in the face.
This disturbance became a full pie fight, of course, and Gigglepoof had barely opened her mouth to laugh before her very own husband crushed a blueberry pie slice into her snout. Most toons roamed the festival loaded down with gags and tricks just for these moments, and it was Gigglepoof's favorite part of any toon gathering. More toons had joined in, and they threw desserts at each other just as much as at the one who started the fight.
One moment, Gigglepoof was blazing through the crossfire after Rob, ready to launch another cream pie at him. The next moment, her leg got caught around a well-placed clip-on tie, and down she plummeted. But Robby had organized this trick, and he quickly set a birthday cake, lit up and meticulously frosted, right where his wife's face would hit. It was a very sweet cushion to her fall. Rob bumped fists with his prank collaborator Miles Humperdink, who specialized in stealing Cog memorabilia.
The great smash of toon and cake—the best sound in the world, they all agreed. It's true that a cake to the face of a Cog was the sound of resistance, but a Cog could never appreciate the absurdity of such a thing. It destroyed a Cog to try to comprehend it, but it pleasantly split the sides of a toon.
Rob belly laughed when Gigglepoof slowly raised her head from the destruction. With a Cog-steady glare at Rob, and with icing clods falling off her fur, she sent a quick huff out the corner of her mouth to extinguish a lit candle that was stuck to her face. Then she broke into a crazy grin, and they laughed the loudest, they felt, in all of Toontown.
Gigglepoof enjoyed this Toonfest more than any other festival she had ever attended. She felt so lighthearted and optimistic. Seeing all the hilarious Cog jokes on the fairgrounds assured her that Toontown was alive and well. She didn't even flinch when Cog dummies popped up from the ground. She only laughed and threw a pie at their large painted targets. There was a time when she couldn't come to the festival for that reason alone. She could enjoy the pie fight without having to remember the countless crueler times she had thrown a dessert. She was a different toon now.
When the pie fight had died down, she and Rob hosed off with a fire extinguisher. The washed off desert would eventually run into the pond; fish love cake. After they were all cleaned up, the toons were ready for more mischief.
Or relaxation.
Gigglepoof reclined on a large red and white checkered picnic blanket while Rob fed Sammy a sandwich while he was still playing on the trampoline. Sammy bounced around, and Rob tried to wrestle a white glove back on his hand, getting the fingers wrong and trying again. How much energy does a young toon have? Gigglepoof thought as she let herself slide all the way to the ground. An infinite amount.
Yep, she was getting older. Not old-old, but she didn't like to hurry around as much as she used to. That's what quitting drugs will do, she smirked. With her hands propping her head up, she could see her tan velvet snout and aqua blue furry toes catching some sunlight. Her damp pink floral dress gently rippled with the cool breeze, and the sun pressed her body down in its warmth. Her gloves felt damp and uncomfortable, but she easily ignored it—social responsibility. The sounds of the festival and toons around her seemed to grow more distant.
She felt the tug of someone walking on the blanket by her side, heavy and certain, like a large yellow horse.
"Do I have to feed both of my kitties?" came Rob's playful and melodious neigh.
Gigglepoof cracked her eyes open and immediately spotted the deep bowl of milk in Rob's hand. "Oh yeah!" she practically squealed, sitting up to take it. Yes, this day couldn't get any better.
He held onto the bowl. "Allow me." He knelt down and placed it for her to lap up, hands-free and eyes closed to savor the creaminess. Okay, now the day couldn't get any better!
When she did open her eyes again, she met Rob's kind eyes. As she continued to lap up the milk, a small grin appeared on one side of his long snout—Gigglepoof tried to suppress a purr, but her throat vibrated anyway. Her husband was being so kind and making sure she was doing alright. He had always been a relaxed toon about things, and he was glad to see that Gigglepoof could mellow out too.
When she finished drinking milk for the time, Rob set the dish to the side and licked a stray drop from her chin without drawing attention from the other toons. She giggled at the sensation, and he passed her a sandwich. It was toasted phony-bologna and cheese, her favorite! Rob opened a bag of hokey-oats and har-har-barley for himself, and they sat and watched Sammy play in the distance. His bright orange fur was hard to miss, but he seemed to be moving in a blur because of his crazy amount of energy.
Maybe it was time to teach that kid how to juggle for real. He had good arms and precise hands, which Gigglepoof could see by the way he managed to hit the toon on the opposite side of the trampoline with a ball while simultaneously taking a bite of his sandwich. Gigglepoof wasn't particularly good at juggling herself—she was much more skilled at throwing horizontally—but Sammy would probably learn the craft from Rob. Robby loved to show any new trick up his sleeve to the little tike; young toons were always a great audience.
"Maybe I should try to teach Sam to juggle," Rob nickered quietly.
Gigglepoof grinned, "I was thinking the same thing."
"If the kid could only sit still and listen for a moment," he commented, nudging Gigglepoof in the side.
What was he trying to get at? Listening may not have been her strength, but Gigglepoof was very good at sitting still. If anyone, it was Rob that was bad at it! "Hey, I thought that's why you liked juggling—because you can sit without having to be still!"
Rob put his hand to his chin. "Well, you're not wrong." With a grin, he pulled out a set of his homemade juggling cubes and began tossing them, only further proving to Gigglepoof that he couldn't sit still. Laid back, but always moving!
Smiling in spite of herself, Gigglepoof tried to snatch a cube out of the air, or at least knock one down, but Rob kept tossing the cubes just out of her reach. He was very dexterous and good at predicting where a frisky toon cat would try to paw next. Gigglepoof tried calling him the silliest names she could think of to mess with his concentration, but it never worked. The only reason she kept on with it is because it amused Rob and led to some pretty creative names. Sometimes when Rob was frustrated with something, one of the names would slip out!
If Gigglepoof and Rob were alone, she would have covered his muzzle in kisses—he could never keep juggling through that! It was fun to try to make him stop juggling, but Gigglepoof liked it otherwise. It was how they first met, after all, and she was proud and grateful for how his skill in toon-up gags helped improve their society and Gigglepoof's own well-being. She would probably be depressed and hopeless—green—for the rest of her life if Robby's tender heart hadn't always believed in her. She was very grateful to him, and now they had a silly kitten child to raise up!
Nevertheless, Gigglepoof sassed, "Put your work away—this is a festival!"
Rob let out a great playful snort and caught the cubes, shrinking them into his pocket. His ears suddenly perked up and he looked to the side, making a pair of binoculars with his hands. "What is that kid doing?"
Gigglepoof chuckled to herself because both she and Rob referred to their son as "the kid" or "that kid" more often than his actual name. She pulled out her glasses and looked over. She suddenly burst with irrational pride and beamed, "Oh! He saw his mommy blast out of the cannon, and now he wants to!" Her meow was about an octave higher than normal.
"Well then why don't you show him the proper technique, Mommy," Rob teased. "You can't get me near one of those things anyway!"
They were both shocked at how fast their kid was growing up, and they showed it in different ways. Gigglepoof often reverted to mother-ese, and Robby liked to make fun of her for it. Gigglepoof always grinned and bared it because, hey, at least she didn't obsessively take pictures of everything! Rob was currently assembling scrapbook number eight…
"I shall, Mr. Rockenroni!" she replied in the same silly tone that she had used earlier. She leapt to her feet and danced off the blanket.
"'Kay, Gigglypoofy-poo!" he teased in a dumb falsetto voice.
Gigglepoof patted herself on the hip at him, and she busted into a grin when she heard his indignant bray. Grinning and baring it does not mean one is defenseless.
She turned her attention to the short orange feet kicking from the barrel of the cannon. She grabbed the ankles and whisked him out, cuddling the giggling kitten upside down.
"Let me go back in there, Mom!" Sammy squirmed and protested.
She tumbled him out on the soft, green grass beside the cannon. "Let's do it together so I can teach you how!" she offered. "But we need someone special to light the fuse for us."
She eyed the other children at the base of the cannon who had been trying to strike a match quite unsuccessfully. Toons didn't worry about children lighting matches because almost everyone carried fire hydrants in their back pockets anyway. She knelt down in front of a purple monkey who was holding the box of matches upside down so that some fell to the ground. She had a pink bow in her fur and especially pretty eyelashes.
Gigglepoof had very short legs, so kneeling down didn't do much to change her height, but at least she looked like she was trying. "Can I teach you how to light a match?"
The monkey nodded and handed her the match box. Gigglepoof showed her—Sue—and the two other onlookers how to light the match and how to wait to light the fuse until someone yelled, "Fire in the hole!"
Gigglepoof adjusted the cannon to fire in a high arc where there would be no obstacles. She and Sammy climbed inside together with him facing her, and she made sure that he knew how to not have his pants blown off—unless he wanted that for a joke.
"You ready?" she asked.
Sammy's smile looked like it was going to hop off his face and run away, and he nodded vigorously.
"Okay! One. Two. Three!"
They called out together, "Fire in the hole!"
Soon they heard the sizzling fuse, and they exploded from the cannon with a BOOM! Gigglepoof was always surprised when the explosion happened, and both she and her son gave high cheers. It was hard to think through all the g-force, but Gigglepoof would never forget her boy's tightly clenched eyes bursting open at the top of their arc and his face showing such wonder at the experience. Sammy and his mother laughed as they began to go down instead of up, and she wrapped him tighter in her arms before they bored into the ground.
Sammy got up cheering, and he and his awaiting dad high-foured. Gigglepoof had to tug her head out of the grass, and she wore a slightly absent smile. She wasn't dazed from hitting the ground, although that was probably a factor; she was in awe of the moment of elation she got to share with her son. Since he was getting older, he didn't want her cuddling him so much—but ha ha! She got to hug him the whole cannon ride!
Gigglepoof serenely leaned into her warm husband as he showed off the photographs he had taken with his ridiculously large antique camera. It matched his scrapbooking style. Sammy laughed at some of the pictures, told his mom thanks for the ride, and soon ran off with his friends again.
"You don't have a concussion, do you dear?" asked Robby in good humor.
Gigglepoof had been leaning on him with a dreamy expression and closed eyes for a whole minute now. "No, I just really loved that," she mewed.
She recalled how she first felt when she watched the stork fly away, leaving the squirming orange infant in her trembling arms. It was her rare day off, and Robby was still at work. She tried to convince the stork it was a mistake, that it was supposed to go to another apartment resident, that there was no way she could be a mother to this toon. She had so many things wrong with her life at that time, and having a child made it explode into chaos.
One day she came upon the toddler ripping up one of the few handwritten mementos of her late mother, and she lost it. Before her eyes, Sammy tearfully ran out the front door into the street, and she didn't stop him or even go after him. Rob had found Sammy on the drive home from work before he knew that he had run away. When he burst through the apartment door, he found Gigglepoof in the bathroom hysterically swallowing a bottle of pills. It was the worst day of their lives, but also the turning point.
Gigglepoof resigned from her damaging Toon Resistance job and spent some time in a mental hospital in the Brrgh. She got clean from her seven year addiction to laughing pills, and things began to get better. That had been four years ago, and now Sammy rarely flinched away from his parents. Gigglepoof didn't yell anymore, and she certainly didn't need a chemical to be able to laugh and love.
Now Gigglepoof stood on her own weight and grabbed Robby's hands, making him look at her. Her eyes were about half open and were darting back and forth behind flickering lashes. "I love our son," she said, making sudden steady eye contact, a pink blush forming on her ears and snout. Yes, she could love him now. "I love you," she added almost bashfully. "I love our family." She could love and appreciate all of it.
Gigglepoof let herself fold into Robby's arms, and she rested her head on his round belly. "Hey," he tilted her chin up to face him. "I love you, too." He nuzzled his long nose into her neck, and she smiled at the softness and warmth. She knew it had to be true. He was proud of her. "We have a wonderful family." His voice was muffled against her. He promptly pulled away, though, and the sentiment in his eyes was replaced with mischief. "But this is Toonfest, you sappy cat! Get off of me and let's go fishing or something!"
Gigglepoof gave a great snort—like Robby would often do—trying to act offended. It didn't work very well since her mouth kept trying to curve into a smile. She eventually gave up and giggled, like her namesake. She fussed about Robby's "utterly sap-tastic" scrapbooks as they walked toward the fishing pond.
The fish in the pond had to be the nuttiest fish in all of Toontown! It was a catch and release game only, so they were very spoiled and mischievous. A balloon fish that didn't even weigh enough to earn a token kept rising from the water and squirting Gigglepoof in the face. Robby almost hopped in the water to teach a holey mackerel a lesson when it kept catching his line so it could floss one of its holes without allowing itself to be caught. Gigglepoof was eventually able to bribe a bearacuda with a honey-flavored jelly bean, and she used the five tokens she won to buy Sammy his own set of juggling balls. He was very enthusiastic about his gift and threw the balls at Sue the monkey until the fireworks display that evening.
She and Rob exchanged phone numbers with Sue's parents, monkeys Bumble and Prissy Hossenfeffer, because their kids had decided to become friends. Coincidentally, Prissy would be Sammy's school teacher for first grade in a month. Gigglepoof felt a little proud that she had taught a teacher's own daughter how to light a match—but she wasn't going to tell the parents that! She learned that they lived at a lakeside estate, at least, so there would be plenty of water in case of any mishaps!
When the fireworks were done, the family hopped in Gigglepoof's open-roof TUV (Toon Utility Vehicle) and rode to their Daisy Garden estate just off Maple Street. In the hour drive it took to get home, Sammy fell asleep, and Rob and Gigglepoof spoke about the stars and gardening.
"Oh man—" Gigglepoof yawned, putting her arm around her handsome driver "—I have to get up early and deliver flowers tomorrow morning." All the day's excitement made her forget about one of her much more laid-back jobs: delivering flowers.
No, it wasn't a particularly engaging job that would lead anywhere, and it was not worthy of her particular skill set, but it let her engage with the general public. This was valuable in itself.
"Then you'd better go right to sleep when we get home," Rob said, concentrating to navigate a turn in the dark. "You need a lot of energy to drive this car," he mumbled.
The car seemed to be tired; it kept closing its headlight eyes and slowing down unless Rob did something to keep it awake. Gigglepoof's car didn't like Rob for some reason, probably because he kicked it so often! It would be full of energy and chugging to the beat of the radio when Gigglepoof drove it the next morning, but now it was very feisty. Rob's hands were tense in his gloves.
Gigglepoof smirked and Rob's instruction and began to rub his shoulder. "Well, I'll go to bed at least," she said coyly. "Doesn't mean I'll sleep."
Rob raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. She laughed harder when the car slowed all the way to a stop without Rob noticing. When he did notice, he whinnied in frustration and kicked the car so hard that it zoomed down the road and almost didn't stop when they made it home. Gigglepoof laughed so hard that it woke up Sammy, and he started laughing at her. He was never one to be cranky when he woke up. When the family got out of the car and went inside, they probably woke up the entire countryside.
After Gigglepoof had tucked her boy in for the night and climbed into her own bed, which was on the other side of the room from Rob's, she reflected on the events of the day in her diary. It was refreshing to sit in a quiet and peaceful house, and it was also good to have time to reflect.
When Rob finished his pipe in the smoking room, he padded up the wooden stairs and sat on the end of Gigglepoof's bed with his gloves off and his nightshirt unbuttoned. The gloves are off now, Gigglepoof always thought to herself. She thought she was very clever sometimes.
She had been picking at the flat little claws of her bare hands, but she stopped when Rob appeared since it was a very dirty habit. It was obscene for a toon to be seen without gloves anyway—which is why Gigglepoof scandalously wiggled her fingers at Rob. It was also obscene to not wear pajamas to bed and—gasp!—to sleep in the same bed, which was why they had to buy two beds for themselves and put them on opposite sides of the room.
But who was watching, anyway?
Rob smirked at her briefly, but then went on with what he really wanted to say. "I liked that little dress you wore at the festival today. I'm glad it didn't get all sooty from the cannon."
"Thank you," she said sweetly. "I'm glad too. It was a fun festival, wasn't it? I was just thinking about that cake you made me land in."
Rob laughed. "Yeah! Did you taste a little bit of it by chance?"
"Oh yeah! Who would have thought someone would make a carrot birthday ca—" Gigglepoof sat up straight, "Wait! You made that?"
Rob's ears lowered bashfully.
"It was really delicious!" Gigglepoof beamed. She nudged him, "And what a smash!"
Rob chuckled at the memory. "I wanted to bake a little something for the festival to see how it compared."
"It was," she selected her words, "very effective." Gigglepoof kept smiling as her mind wandered to gag manufacturing. She may not fight Cogs anymore, but it was a habit of her brain to go down the same path with any new gag idea.
Rob and Gigglepoof looked at each other with blank stares for about a minute, without even a hint of mischief. But Rob suddenly stood to his feet, smoothing his shirt tails.
"Well, good night, Gigglepoof," he said cordially.
"Good night, Robert," she replied with the same tone.
He climbed into his bed and switched off the lamp. The room was pitch black and almost soundless, aside from quiet snickering and the almost imperceptible sound of a cat getting out of bed. Now nobody was watching, including you.