He Touched Me; I'm Human:
I stood in my friends spot in the coffee line breathing deeply. She was taking forever to get back and the folks around me where getting more than upset. A few threatened my life. I silently wished she'd returned quickly before the cashier threw me out of the store. He looked at me viciously and I knew it was already too late. Damn it Jessica!
He was about to speak but was cut off the loud sound of the entrance door being swung against the wall. I looked that way with minor relief until I realized who it was. Solomon, my childhood bully. My stomach turned inside out and I felt as though I was going to puke. His eyes locked with mine automatically. Fuck...
I look down terrified. The last time we had an encounter he had bound and locked me in the janitors closet. Whispering in my ear"stupid nigger, I won't be so nice next time". That day I promised myself I'd avoid ever seeing him again. Yet here I was...seeing him.
"Hey, I know you saw me" A voice boomed in my ear. I whimpered a bit leaning my head down more. Rough hands pulled my head by my twists back up. "Ah!" I squeak. "Let go you asshole!" I resisted. Digging my nails into his hand that held my hair. The people in line just stayed quiet watching. They were all cowards to me. Just because his father and him owned the town they never did anything against them. I could be raped at this counter and they'd continue on with their day never saying a word.
I just wanted to go home and say fuck Jessica. Fuck everyone in this godforsaken town, but I couldn't. I lived here until I graduated High School next year so just leaving wasn't an option. For Solomon it was because he was two grades higher than me. He was already owning his own place and running a business straight out of High School. Which I admit is pretty damn amazing. But anyone who bullied a female younger than him for their skin and status was a bitch. He wasn't a real man, but merely a boy with mental problems.
I kicked him in his left knee and bit his neck. He cursed and pushed me against the counter slamming my back against the edge. I squeal as my back arched in agony. He gripped my neck and held my back as I released him and stared deeply into my eyes. Blood running down his neck from my aggressive bite. "Fuck you!" I spat. He just cackled dryly.
"Everyone get out!" he demeaned. Never breaking eye contact.
I turned my head and saw Jessica finally leave the bathroom. She looked horrified. I was about to say something but then i felt the squeeze on my throat become harder. A hand also coming behind my head forcing me to stare at the man assaulting me. I gasps for air.
"Out slut! Or I'll tell your father about Chicago" He sneered. I saw Jessica's form quickly scurry pass us leaving me and him alone in the shop. "I'm sorry" she cried before truly exiting. Bitch! She really left me!? I groaned in pain as his grip on my neck relaxed but it tightened in my hair,
He pulled me up and dragged me upstairs feeling dizzy. On the way making sure to make he hit me against every wall and tripped me on every other step. I was battered when we finally reached the...a room? Wow, I came to this place of all places? Which just happened to be a mixture of a motel and coffee place it seemed? Fucking great. I look around the room before he dumps me on the bed.
He panted for a few moments before staring darkly at me. I gain my grounding while he does so then I get up running to punch him in the face with a yell. He easily dodges it though and grabbed my arm twisting it behind my back painfully. I scream and struggle against him. He simply pulls me to him in a hash manner making sure to add more pressure. I yelp in pain with a angry sob forming.
"Listen to me Adila, you're going to do exactly what I say like a good girl alright? I don't want know bullshit or i'll making things even worse. You got me!?" He questioned. I almost cursed at him till I felt something press against my head. It was a pistol. I whimper fearfully nodding quickly. "Good girl, now go stand over there" He pointed towards he fall in front of the bed. I follow his instructions slowly in internal conflict and terror.
"There we go baby" He grinned. I felt sick.
"Now dance for me slowly. Take your clothes of in a tease, and make sure you do it good. It matters a lot after all" He took his safety off. I shamefully nod stiff inside, and began shedding my my clothes slowly. Running my hands over my body seductively to please him. It made me feel ugly inside, so I pretended like he was someone I loved. He followed my movements with his eyes. Leaning back a bit to watch me better.
When he finally told me it was okay to stop I got scared. What was next? Did I do good? Will he kill me randomly? I stood there nude and waiting for his next move. "Crawl to me" He grinned. Holding his gun against his cheek when I stared at him instead of following his order automatically.
I cry tight lipped as i went to my knees and began to crawl across the floor to him. When I finally got to him he grabbed my hair again. This time i stayed quiet with a tiny wince. He tilted his head studying me it seemed. "You trying to solider it through huh nigger?" He uttered. I closed my eyes at the name he called me. I'm not that, don't call me that! I could feel a sob forming.
"Shhh" He whispered.
I felt him lift me up and throw me on the bed. I tightened my eyes even more waiting for what came next. "I want to play a game. Beg me to stop. Convince me not to hurt you" He breathed. That got my attention and I stopped trembling as much. Play a game? Beg him to stop?
"Hmm, I see I've gotten your attention. In this game it will be a lot like Russian roulette. Except better my pretty little piece of charcoal. I'll touch you somewhere and you have to convince me not to do more to that area or place. If you convince me well enough to leave you alone i'll set you free" He declared.
I opened my eyes meeting his azure ones. "Deal baby?" He smirked. It was the smile of a fisherman when he knew he got a big catch. I couldn't argue though, so I just nodded slowly. He looked over me with his head cocked and his finger to his chin.
"Where to start huh? How about from the top down huh?" He chuckled. I died a little bit more on the inside. I felt him straddle my swollen body as he began to caress my face and neck. "Ah, the face and neck of the goddess of dirt. What should I do with it?" He questioned. I had to think of something quick.
"With my face I ask that you look into my eyes to see yourself within them. See the hurt inside of you reflected from me. See the you that yearns for someone to be there for you and help you. Witness how we are one in the same, and for my neck I ask that you witness the breath I take. The same breath you breath from yourself. Hear and see beyond my skin" I rang out. He looked at me silently pondering.
I feel his hand tighten around my neck as he leaned in. I got scared for a second then I realized he was listening to my choppy breathing, and staring into my eyes. It lasted for a while before I felt him start lean in closer. I close my eyes and found out he was gently kissing both of my eye lids, and then going down to do the same to my neck. I lay stiffly while he did so.
"Good girl" He cooed. I could feel his voice eating away at my mind. "Time for the next part now huh?" He commented. I inwardly rolled my eyes at the thought.
He lifted up as I opened my eyes again. I noticed he had layed the gun far away from me on the desk besides the front door. He drew my attention back when I felt something sharp and cold pinch my chest. I looked down and saw him dragging a switchblade down the middle of my chest all the way down to my pants. He met me worried gaze with a sinister grin.
"This part of your body. What's to keep me from slicing pretty little cuts all over it? I heard black and red mix well. Hmm?" He hummed. I forced myself to breathe and think of an answer.
"Because if you do you won't ever get to see the contrast. Someone once told me you loved to go out at night and watch the stars with your mother, because it reminded you that the dark wasn't always bad and evil. It was just misunderstood. A necessary thing just as the light. For they go hand and hand to empathize and bring out the beauty of each other. They are both sides to the same coin. Listen to the beat of my heart with closed eyes and tell what you feel" I spoke softly. I was damn good at convincing in my eyes and it seemed to be selling.
He titled his head sideways processing what I had said. Then he slowly put his head near my heart and listened as I had said. It too a moment as we breathed and layed there. I hesitantly put my hand in his hair rubbing his head. Eventually he asked me. "I hear ease, life, cycle or peace if you will" He noted.
" I am human. You hear the pumping of a human heart. The same heart you carry. Now if you put your arm against my body to see the contrast you'll see what you see when you look at the stars. Dark and light; both needed and one misunderstood. Two sides to the same coin; Humanity" I echoed.
He glanced up at me and smiled. "Good baby, you're good at this game. You might be leaving without me having any fun" Solomon stated. That made me smile, but i knew better than to get my hopes up. He then slide down my body and began to tenderly kiss, rub, and nip at my chest and belly. It gave me a weird tingly feeling and I looked away at the wall besides me. Finally he got to my pelvis, feet, and legs. Rubbing them gently with the knife. Adding a few puncture holes here and there when he'd stop and push a little.
"And here? What would keep me from taking you? From cutting off a toe? Or slicing some special marks?" He urged.
"Nothing but yourself. I won't fight you if you do. I'll let you do what you please, but I know you're not going to hurt me anyway. You want something else. What is it?" I accuse. He had to be hiding something. I could feel it in my bones. Well I could until I felt hard slap across my face, and my body being pulled up roughly by my hair.
"Nigger! What gives you the right to question me!? That isn't the fucking game here! Look me in the eyes you bitch! Fight me! You're going to let me talk you like this!? I guess you whores really are weak!" He hollered at me. I felt angry tears fall from my eyes as a loud smacking sound filled the air. I trebled as I realized what happened. I had smacked him. My nails leaving scratch marks at the side of his face. His head turned to the side as he winced a bit. Fuck..I'm going to die.
"That's it! Fight me! Hit me! Are you a nigger!? Are you worthless!? A whore I can just say anything and do anything too!? You want me to take you right here don't you!? You want this to happen!?" He growled. Turning his head towards me hellishly. "Noo! I'm not! Get off of me you bastard! Get the hell off of me!" I scream back. Kicking and struggling against his hold. I eventually pushed him off and he bummed against the wall staring at me smiling. I walked over and smacked him again. Continuously hitting and punching him sobbing. Eventually he caught my hand as I got tired.
"Exactly, and I don't want to ever hear you taking this from anybody else you hear me? You are not weak, and you are not trash. Don't hang out with folks who are and treat you as such. You are human and equal no matter what. You stand up to the ones who say otherwise, and you put them in their place get it? You are smart Adilia. You can go places, and all those years I was tired of seeing you waste that on the shit other people told you, and did to you. That's why I made you stay away from boys the way I did. You were too good to fall for some punk with no life and future planned. And I was racist because the men in this town are and if you trusted them like you wanted to you would have never made it. I became your torturer so you can safely grow, and I left to make sure I had better ways to change things here. To make it better so I wouldn't have to scare you away from danger. So I will, and i'll make sure you become who you truly are. This is the last time I will hurt you this way. And I'm sorry for hurting you like this. I just couldn't see another way. Being friendly would have had people come at you harder. I needed to be the biggest demon there was to make sure that didn't happen. Now go and be free" He began.
"I don't want to see you hanging around with that bitch Jessica again either. She left you in the arms of your worst enemy. Your bully. Now you know who your true friends are. Dump that crowd, and If a man ever does you the way I did then you don't hesitate to take him down. You stay focused and stand your ground or else in this town you will fall. You will crumble, and it will be something you will regret deeply. Let the things I've done to you build you stronger. " He finally declared. His face full of scratches and bruises. I looked at him in shock shivering.
He stepped forward and kissed me gently before letting go. I squeaked at the action and stare again dumbfounded. "You deserve a real man who will treat you right. Don't take shit from nobody alright? Now get dressed and get out of here" He ordered. I nodded quickly putting on my clothes. He looked away as I ran out of the room breathless. What the fuck just happened!?