Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Challenge: Are you Crazy Enough To Do It Challenge

Prompt: 397. (restriction) a story about a character without the character physically appearing - Hermione Granger

Challenge: FF on F/F Challenge

Prompt: 19. Dolores Umbridge/Rita Skeeter

Challenge: 2017 Event: New Years Fanfiction Resolutions, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)

Prompt: 7. Write a romantic story involving any of the following: Umbridge, Filch or Cornelius Fudge. (min 500 words)

Story Word Count: 743

Rita was torn between the two options in front of her. Which poison would get her through to the next day? Which poison would wipe her memory of this night and everything that came before it? Whisky or Vodka, which one?

Up until that point, Rita had been blissfully unaware of the effectiveness of muggle alcoholic drinks. She had never seen the necessity for such useless information. And she didn't need it until that bushy-haired menace and her friends showed up. They took her job, her wand and even had her animagus locked. They took everything from her. EVERYTHING.

And why? Because she did her job. Because she delved deeper than everyone else and uncovered the truth the Golden Trio were desperate to hide. That their Golden Girl was having illicit relationships behind everyone's back.

She growled in frustration before deciding that she would need both.

"Fuck you, Hermione Granger" she mouthed, before downing the shot of vodka.

Before she could down the peg of Whisky as well, someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Never thought I'd find you here."

Rita could recognize the woman standing beside her, but only just. Dolores Umbridge had changed quite a lot since the last time she had seen her, which was back when she was the RIGHTFUL Headmistress and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts. Her hair was shabby, her clothes no longer the pristine pink she was famed for wearing, and her face… her face was now covered in wrinkles and what seemed to be alcohol and grease.

"I could say the same about you." The former famed reporter replied.

"You remember what they sentenced me to."

"How could I forget such a dreadful day?"

"Thank you darling. You are wonderful for saying that."

Rita couldn't help but blush. Such a noble person had called her 'darling'.

"My, is that a blush I see?"

"Your statement may be true."

"I believe it is, darling."

"Then it must be true." Rita turned away from the woman and focused on her drink, which she now had no intention of drinking. She had no intention to forget any of this.

"So… Ms. Umbridge, wha-"

"Call me Dolores dear."

"Okay… Dolores, what brings you to this muggle shithole?"

Umbridge sighed. "Hermione Granger."

"That bitch! What did she do to you?"

"Noth-"

"No! Tell me. What did that bitch do?"

"She…" Umbridge sighed once again. "Her new law… it makes it so that I can never practice magic again."

"YOU TOO! Ugh, I should kill her. She deserves to die. How could she do that to you? To us? Strip us of our magic and chuck us into the muggle world. And for what? Making the world a better place. I will not stand for this." Rita stood up from her chair. Her shouting was now drawing the attention of some of the other patrons at the bar.

"Rita… It's useless…"

"No-"

"Trust me… it is. Come on, let's move outside before we get in trouble."

Once they were outside, the short brunette pushed the taller blonde against the side of the building. It was a cool and surprisingly empty evening in the outskirts of muggle London.

"Thank you… for that. It was better than any drink that shithole could've offered me."

"No problem. It was nice to have someone to sympathize with, even though it doesn't improve the situation."

"I beg to differ. I think it does improve the situation." Rita was perplexed and even a little anxious to see how this made anything that much better.

She got her answer when the shorter woman pulled her down into a kiss. Rita was initially surprised, but then she got ahold of her faculties and reacted to it by slipping her tongue into Dolores' mouth.

Despite her short stature and publicly famous celibacy, Rita thought Dolores was the best kisser she's ever had. Rita started running her hands all around Dolores' back, when she pulled away.

"No Rita darling, not here. Come with me, my house is not far from here."

Rita could only thank her lucky stars that she didn't drink herself to sleep, as she was initially planning to. Dolores was right, this does improve the situation. It improves the situation a LOT.

"Come on, let's go darling. I have many things I want to show you, and even more that I want a peek at."

And for the first time in her life, Rita Skeeter thanked Hermione Granger.

How's that for a change? Does anyone even want me to continue?

Please let me know what you think in review.

READ CHAPTER 2 TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE LAW.