It should've been a peaceful day in Piedmont. Saturday, no school, no tests to study for or projects to panic over. It should've been a day reading books, goofing off, waiting for the next episode of Ducktective that aired this evening, or maybe even preparing another session of Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. The possibilities were endless. Dipper didn't even think twice when his and Mabel's parents both left for the gym; they didn't go every week, but it wasn't uncommon, either.

He didn't know that today would be THE DAY.

He'd been anticipating THE DAY for weeks, built all these plans and contingencies. Even so, Dipper could feel his heart racing as he dashed up the stairs, frantically hoping that the glittery stickers that were "accidentally" left in the kitchen would distract his twin long enough.

A small part of him knew that all this was ridiculous. This was his sister he was running from, after all, not some horror from the Nightmare realm. He had stood up to Bill, he withstood the punishment of Rumble McSkirmish. He had even managed to make it through his first high school formal! But a frantic, high-pierced squeal coming from the living room reminded him just why he was bolting four separate locks on his bedroom door, including one from Ford that was theoretically unbreakable. It was too late for Waddles, but he could still save himself.

"its begun," Dipper texted to Wendy, in too much of a rush to even care that he hadn't capitalized his text, had missed an apostrophe, nor put a period on the end of it. His phone buzzed before he could put it back into his pocket: "Oh no. Good luck. Sry, man." He considered replying, but he didn't have the time. If he knew anything, "theoretically unbreakable" wasn't nearly enough to keep Mabel out.

"BROBRO, WHERE DID YOU GO? YOU HAVE TO COME SEE WHAT I DID WITH WADDLES!"

Dipper glanced at his watch. One minute, fourteen seconds since it had begun. She was progressing faster than anticipated. She'd be trying his bedroom door in around ten more seconds. It was time to start phase two. There were already several extra sheets prepared in his room, tucked away in a chest, and he started tying the ends together. He was nothing if not prepared, and he had some pretty good advisors coming up with this plan. Great Uncle Ford had helped him with the main idea, and the whole "pretend to escape down the bedroom window" had been Ford's contribution. Wendy had been instrumental with the practical aspect of this, giving Dipper key tips for the preparations and other generally useful bits of advice. And if that meant he got to text her more often in anticipation of this event, hey, double plus.

Grunkle Stan's advice had been "Buy brown meat" and "You're not escaping Mabel, Dipper. Might as well just give up and face her like a man." Well, the advice couldn't all be useful.

The doorknob began to rattle, shaking Dipper from his reverie. There were still a couple knots to tie. His fingers kept slipping as he nervously threw a glance towards his door. "AHA!" Dipper heard his twin exclaim, and one of the locks clicked open. "COME ON OUT, DIPDOP! THIS DAY IS TOO MAGNIFICENT TO STAY INSIDE!"

A sentiment he actually agreed with, as he threw the knotted sheets out his window. Staying inside was... not an option right now. A second lock clicked, and then the third, far quicker than they ought to have. Only Ford's lock remained between Dipper and his demise. And he could already hear the pins turning as Mabel started on it at an unbelievable speed.

Dipper shuddered as he climbed out his window, and shimmied up the make-shift route he had found to the roof. Not for the first time, he was glad that between exercise and puberty, he didn't have the noodle-arm complex he had had when he was twelve. Stealth was the name of the game now, hoping that Mabel would deduce that he had slid down the sheets to the ground, while he stayed nice and low - or nice and high - on the roof. He just had to get behind the chimney, out of view, and hopefully safe while Mabel searched the streets for him. It only took him a few seconds to climb further up the roof and lean against the brick chimney.

He pulled his phone out again. "Safe." He texted before wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Congratulations, Dip! On the roof?"

"Yeah. Just as we planned."

The sound of a door opening came from Dipper's room. "HA! TAKE THAT, LOCK! YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR THE POWER OF MABEL! NOW COME ON, DIP..."

Mabel's voice trailed off. "DIPPER? WHERE ARE YOUUUU?" He heard his closet door being thrown open, and a thump as, Dipper supposed, Mabel checked under his bed. She should see the open window and sheets soon...

There was a pause, then Dipper heard his twin chuckle for a second before he heard two doors slam shut in rapid succession. His door, and... Mabel's door? Why would she go there? Oh, probably to get a pair of shoes or whatever to go look for him. But whatever. Success! He'd managed to survive THE DAY.

Now, there were other plans to be made. Ford's characters were typically weaker against many, smaller opponents, so maybe if he used swarms of weaker vampires instead of the single ghoul he'd planned -

"GRAPPLING HOOK!"

Dipper barely had time to mutter, "Oh no," before Mabel found him.

Wendy chuckled behind the counter as the newest message pinged her phone.

"Thanks Wen-wen! 3 3 3"

Betrayals weren't really her thing, and Wendy was fairly sure that Dipper would find out eventually that she had given his position away. But Mabel had the tendency to document everything in her life, and Dipper was probably going to end up with more glitter, sparkles, and stickers on him than most preadolescent girls. Besides, how could Wendy not let Dipper face his twin after her first cup of coffee?