Til the Casket Drops Red Rum

I murdered my husband. I stabbed him 34 times. I would have stabbed him more if the police had not arrived and told me to put down the knife. I would have. My mind was set that I would have to spend the rest of my life in Prison. I was prepared to embrace the orange is the new black but it didn't work out that way for me. I was found not guilty.

"What the fuck?"

I knew my Granny had to have had her hand in that shit. I knew it.

"You don't belong in Prison and you will not go on my watch. As long as I am breathing...you will not go. Now get your ass up and let's go. Dr. Deanna Monroe is going to help you out with this mental shit you going through. Can't keep shit like what you've been through bottled up inside. Come on and get up...get your ass up."

Granny wouldn't let me just die. I tried to kill myself 3 times. I tried to eat myself to death. Drink myself to death and cry myself to death. Nothing worked.

Working in the morgue the dead made death looks so easy. Close your eyes and poof. Sleep and never wake up...I waited for death but it never came. Mike looked so peaceful. Looking at his face I wanted to stab him some more.

I began working at Hershel's Mortuary a few months after I murdered Mike. Mike was my husband who use to beat the shit out me because he could beat the shit out of me.

After everything that happened, I couldn't go back to my small law practice, so I farmed out all my clients to friends who I knew would do a good job. I closed up shop and headed to King's County. I have been here almost two years tomorrow.

I am thankful for Deanna who is sitting before us and all of you for helping me get to this point in my story.

I really hated the part of introducing myself everytime we had a new member. Now it makes sense. Each time we add a new member to the group it makes the introduction different each time. It helps to get what ever we have bottled up or hidden in the dark out in to the light. Talking about it helps to get it out of one's system by wash rinse and repeat. Sometimes a reintroduction helps to remember things that you didn't think to point out and it also gets everyone else who know you caught up with whom you were and who've you become. Hi. My name is Michonne Benton and I killed my husband.

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Well, I for one have fell really far down the path of no return. It took standing in the bottom of a 6 foot grave to realize that has to be the true bottom. Til the casket drops...you haven't hit bottom.

It was two years ago tomorrow that I killed my wife Lori and my best friend Shane Walsh. I found them in bed together. He was going at her pretty good doggy style. Didn't take much to take the gun out of my holster and blow his brains out and the bullet travelled and killed her too. A two for one I suppose.

I blacked out. I woke up and there they were in my bed dead. I was prepared for whatever was going to happen. I was grateful to have the kind wonderful citizens of King's County testifying on my behalf...I didn't want to go to prison. The whole idea of going didn't sit right with me and I was thankful to be found not guilty.

I still handed in my badge and gun. I couldn't go back to the force. I couldn't go back home either. It wasn't home any more. I stayed with my mother Ella down on the farm. My father passed away some years ago. She was glad to have me home with her to keep her company.

I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had thoughts that just wouldn't stop. I was in a bad way because of it. I began to see Lori outside my room or in the closet. I would stand in the mirror and I would see Shane, he was my best friend from high School and we were on the police force together. I would look in the mirror and he would be standing there with a hole in his head.

Rum. I was drinking a lot of it. I drank so much I would piss myself. I was a functioning alcoholic. I had to drink to wake up. I had to drink to function. I had to drink to sleep. I don't believe in that shit that I am still alcoholic always alcoholic. I haven't touched alcohol in almost a year and it wasn't that hard to stop.

The job at Herschel's Mortuary helped a great deal. Never in my wildest dream did I ever think I would be a grave digger. I work with Eugene and Tyrese. I have arrested those two before and here I am digging graves with the likes of those two. They are my very good friends now.

I have friends here too. I want to thank Dr. Deanna for making it easy to eventually be able to speak the truth out loud with out judgment because we all have similar stories of where in an instant your life is changed forever. Reintroducing myself like what Michonne said over there. It helps to remember things that you may not have remembered at the first introduction but it gets everyone up to speed of who you are and how you have changed based on the ever evolving narrative of your story. My story...Hi. My name is Rick Grimes...I murdered my wife.

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"What do you think?"

"About what?" Rick was walking side by side with Michonne as they left the meeting they attended once a week. It was after 8pm.

"The two new members...Abe and Morgan."

"I have no opinion. Should I?"

"I suppose not. I am intrigued by their story though."

"Nothing is intriguing about leaving a baby in a hot ass car and Morgan drunk driving and plowing a school bus killing 3 kids. Sorry."

"I can't wrap my mind around that shit is what I am saying and stop giving me the side eye." They walked through the parking lot to their parked vehicle they came together in.

"Here..you drive...I still see Lori and Shane." Rick tosses the keys before he goes to the passenger side.

"Fuck you." Michonne catches the keys that Rick tossed and got in the driver side of the old pickup truck that belong to Herschel. "You like being chauffeured...You know you don't see shit. Halloween is tomorrow is all"

"I really like your driving. Plus all the shit you give me at work...Glad for you to do something for me." Rick smiled.

"I always do stuff for you Rick." Michonne started up the pick up truck and began driving them back to the mortuary where they both lived.

"Like what?"

"I baked you a pie and I hate baking."

"Yeah...that was because you were sorry for knocking me down that fucking grave Eugene dug."

"How many times must I say sorry? How many ways can I show you that I am sorry?"

"Well, I have some ideas." Rick stared at the side of Michonne face. Michonne instantly noticed the change in tone and mischief from Rick.

"I was watching you check out Carol and Sasha..." Michonne cut her eyes at Rick.

"I watch you too and what do you make of that?"

"I don't know what should I make of it?"

"I don't want Carol's crazy ass who killed her dog and Sasha who isn't sure if she meant to warn her neighbor or kill her neighbor? Sometimes Michonne I wonder about you."

"They both seem attracted to you Rick."

"Why do you think that? Because they smile at me? Because they offer me a napkin because I just spilled your cup of coffee all over my self? Help me Michonne with this thing you got with pawning me off on someone else?"

"I was thinking we both need to get our feet wet and date. It's been two fucking years you know."

"If you think that I want to date Carol then you are crazier than , than, than fucking Carol."

"Then it leaves Sasha. I fucking knew it." Michonne hand tighten around the steering wheel.

Rick was completely perplexed that he had no other words for five minutes as he thought long and hard about Michonne and her crazy antics.

"Next meeting you need to talk about your Paranoia Michonne."

"I am not paranoid. You just confirmed my suspicion." Michonne countered.

"You confirmed mine as well. That if your not paranoid then you are jealous."

"I am not fucking jealous Rick."

"I don't know why you would be jealous. I still maintain if I was going to be with anyone it would only be you. Why you can't get that through you thick skull I have no earthly idea how else to tell you other than in so many fucking words an actions. I only want you Michonne. Nothing has changed. I am just waiting for you to want me back."

Michonne arrived to Herschel's Mortuary that was also a huge home with many rooms. Herschel, Granny Mabel, Eugene, Tyrese, Michonne and Rick resided. She came to a sudden and complete stop that jerked Rick forward.

"I'm crazy, Rick. You are Crazy. You dig graves." Michonne stated.

"I'm crazy too. You are real Crazy and you style dead people's hair." Rick stated.

"Fuck you Rick. Get out of the truck and leave me to my madness."

"I would really love for you to fuck me just once Michonne. Just to see if I can just be done with you, you know." Rick made no move to get out of the truck.

BAM! The windshield shattered and thin lines creaked and ran across the glass. The pickup began to rock vigorously back and forth. Michonne eyes were wide with fear and confusion that matched Rick who wished in that very moment he had his gun.

A/N: I know I have other fics. I had this at my finger tips and it will be I pray a short one. I have a chapter written for the Check, Honey bee, Temporary view and Devil is a Liar. A reviewer put the Devil is a liar back on my Radar. Thank you! When I get distracted...

This is my first time celebrating Halloween with a fic. No candy, better not ring my doorbell.