A/N: First, thanks to all those who either reviewed and/or favorited my other Lambo story. It gave me the courage to put this one up. I tried to keep the characters in, well, character but because of the topic, I think they all adapted to the situation.

Now, this one deals with the sensitive topic of attempted suicide so please consider this a trigger warning? I think that's what it's called. This will be a two or three-shot story, I haven't decided how to put up the next part yet. It starts off quite depressing but the next chapter will be a little better. Hopefully. It won't end in death, that's for sure.

I checked it over as much as I could but I know there will be mistakes. Let me know if there is something that needs some serious correcting. Also, I thank WebMD for any and all medical information so again, if there is anything that needs correcting, let me know. Please let me know what you think! Thank you!

It had been a year since the last time he'd seen Tsuna and the others; a year with only calls, texts, and video chats on special occasions such as holidays or birthdays. It had also been six months since I-Pin had left for Hong Kong which left him alone with Mama. He loved her but at fifteen years of age, Lambo wanted someone to connect with and Mama was always too busy to spare him much time; especially now that she'd started a new job.

The past few months had been nothing short of excruciating for Lambo. Physically he'd been fine, but he's been feeling sad to the extreme as his brother would say. He'll be fine then out of nowhere he'll feel this empty sensation in his chest, he wants to cry but he really doesn't understand why. It makes no sense to feel like that when there's nothing wrong.

Little by little that sadness had been growing until he felt as if he was suffocating. Then the panic attacks began and he was done trying to figure out his own emotions. He was drowning and nobody could save him. He started to distance himself from his classmates but since he didn't really have friends nobody noticed. Nobody noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way he practically dragged himself to class or the way he secretly wanted someone to ask if he was ok.

He wanted to mention it to his brothers but he had no clue where to begin. He didn't know what was wrong or why so how would they help? They might think he was being a baby and shrug it off. That thought alone was enough to halt any cries for help. The fear of not being taken seriously was too strong; he remained silent. They would always say they love him and they'd be visiting soon but it never made him feel any better. Lambo would nod and smile then cry himself to sleep. He hated feeling like this but he had no idea how to stop it.

It had only been getting worse since then. Just a few days ago after school, Lambo had wondered if he'd feel better if he was to stop breathing. As soon as the thought had entered his mind, he'd run home and locked himself in his room until his panic attack ended. Why was he thinking like that? Where had that thought even come from?

His life wasn't perfect but he knew he had a loving family who would die for him and would more than likely freak if they knew he'd thought about…about suicide. Not that he'd ever go through with it; Lambo was not suicidal. He was the Lightning Guardian after all.

And yet, here was on the roof of his school looking at the view of the city; his thoughts swirling in some kind of dark abyss looking for an escape. Why was he crying? Where was this hurt coming from? Maybe if he jumped his mind would be set straight and he wouldn't feel so confused anymore…maybe.

When he walked inside his home later than usual, he slipped off his shoes and put on his slippers. "I'm home." He muttered knowing Mama wasn't here. That was another reason he'd stayed out till late. She'd gone out of town for the weekend not having a single clue as to how depressed Lambo was feeling. Yea, depressed. Lambo wasn't stupid, he'd researched his symptoms and this was the most logical explanation. Of course, having an idea as to what was wrong didn't mean he accepted it. He was fifteen, healthy and had everything he needed; there was no way Lambo was depressed.

Lambo walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat, knowing he hadn't had anything the entire day. Tsuna-nii would be mad if he knew I wasn't taking good care of myself.

"It's a good thing nobody knows. It's a good thing nobody cares enough to know."

Lambo angrily pulled out a bowl from a cabinet and slammed it on the counter before pulling out some leftovers from the fridge. "Stupid Lambo, of course they care. If they knew what was going on they'd fly over immediately…probably." He grumbled.

He pulled out a knife and started to chop some vegetables. Tears began to blur his vision as he began to cry once more.

What's wrong with me? I'm not a baby anymore, why can't I stop crying?

He felt worthless. He felt insignificant. Lambo felt utterly miserable and just wanted it to stop. Why wouldn't it stop?

He dropped the knife when he accidentally cut his finger. Upon further inspection, he was relieved to see it wasn't too deep. Lambo grabbed a napkin and wrapped it around his injury, hoping the stinging sensation wouldn't last too long.

He looked at where he'd dropped the knife and once again his mind began to wander into dangerous territory. It wouldn't hurt that much; everything would be over before he could actually process the pain, right? Then he wouldn't be hurting, he'd be fine and he wouldn't feel like a baby. No more pain, no more crying, no more feeling empty; just peace.

Lambo slowly picked up the knife and stared at it for a few seconds before placing it against his left wrist. His mind was made up even though his thoughts were thoroughly confused. This is how they do it in the movies, right?

As he began to cut into his skin, blood dripping onto the floor, he remembered a movie where a character cut his wrists and died peacefully. He hadn't looked to be in pain or anything. Then Lambo froze.

He also remembered the look on the mother's face when she found the body of her son. Would Mama look like that as well? What about his brothers, would they cry?

Lambo threw the knife to the side in horror. What had he done? Lambo panicked at the blood flowing from his cut wrist; it was deep, he was going to die. He grabbed a towel and applied pressure to his wound. What had he been thinking? His family would be devastated! There was no way they would be fine if he killed himself. How could he have been willing to put them through something like that?

Lambo pulled out his cell phone from his pocket with a shaking hand, trying to hold the towel in place. He didn't even think about the number, just dialed it without thinking. It was around three in the afternoon in Italy so his brother should answer. He had to answer.

A few rings later and Lambo began to feel anxious. What if he doesn't answer? What if there's something more important than him? He had to apologize before he died. He couldn't have them blame themselves. No, he had to stop thinking so negatively. His family loved him, how could he do this to them?

"What is it, I'm just about to meet with the council of-"

"Tsuna-nii, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cried into the phone. Lambo slid down against the counter, his legs not being able to support him any longer. He felt weak, he felt exhausted and worst of all he felt like giving up. If he had gotten this far then he really didn't deserve to live.

He could barely make out what his brother was saying over his sobs. "Lambo! Lambo, please calm down and tell me what's wrong."

Tsuna sounded concerned. Hell, he sounded terrified and it was all Lambo's fault. The teen clutched the phone against his ear, not able to form any coherent words as he continued to cry as if in agony. Which he was, he was in complete agony; mentally and physically.

"Call Kyoya; now!"

Lambo heard Tsuna order someone, probably Gokudera. Forcing himself to calm down, Lambo tried once again to speak, "Tsuna-nii, I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm sorry for everything." He managed between pitiful sobs.

"Lambo, what happened? Are you ok? Is it mom? Where are you?"

Of course he'd think somebody was hurt. Which, looking at the now soaked towel, Tsuna wasn't wrong. "Mama went out with her friends. I'm at home but I'm ok now."

"Then tell me why I don't believe you." Lambo heard his brother tell someone to let Kyoya know that Lambo was at home. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

Lambo cried again, feeling a bit lightheaded as he tried to explain everything he's been feeling for the last several months. "I'm sad. I'm so sad and I don't know why Tsuna-nii. There's something wrong with me. I can't stop this empty feeling from trying to drown me."

Lambo broke down. He looked to the left and eyed the knife once more. It would be so easy…"Tsuna-nii, I want to stop feeling like this. I don't want to feel like a burden anymore."

"You're not a burden, you're our brother."

Tsuna spoke firmly and Lambo remembered why he'd follow him to the ends of the earth. "Tsuna-nii, I can make it go away, all of it. " He whispered; he wasn't thinking straight anymore. The blood loss and suffering was driving him to the edge and Lambo was scared. He was terrified he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"Lambo, I need you to be strong. I need you to be my guardian right now, you swore to give me your life, remember? Your life…it's mine. You do not have permission to take it away from me."

Tsuna was right. After everything they'd gone through Lambo owed them his life and so much more. But he was drowning; he was too far gone to stop now, wasn't he?

"I didn't think about Mama, I don't want her to be the one to find me."

"Lambo, you will be fine. You will not die and that is an order. Do you understand?"

Tsuna said in a calm and steady voice but Lambo could hear the fear behind his words. He was scared and they both knew it.

"I don't even know why I did it. I just wanted it to stop but I didn't think about my family. I'm such a terrible person…"

"No, you're not. Lambo, listen to me," Tsuna was practically begging. "We need you. I need you. Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. Please, please don't give up."

"My own parents didn't want me and all I've been to you is a failure. It makes sense you would leave me too." He leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "It hurts."

Tsuna continued to talk but Lambo had stopped listening. His arm felt numb and he was getting weaker by the minute. "I'm sorry."

Lambo dropped the phone when the front door was kicked in, the loud noise startling him.

"Lambo? Lambo, are you there?"

Lambo watched as two men made their way into the kitchen, looking like they were about to go into battle. It took him a second to recognize them. "Kusakabe-san..." He weakly whispered to the first one. He felt whatever blood he had left go cold when the second man became visible. Hibari did not look happy at all. He looked ready to commit murder with Lambo as the most likely victim.

Kusakabe assessed the situation and seemed to immediately understand what was going on. He hurried to Lambo's side and gently pulled off the towel to inspect the damage while Hibari picked up the forgotten phone.

"He'll live." Was all he said before ending the call. Lambo wasn't sure if that was for Tsuna's comfort or an order for himself. He glared at Lambo then waited patiently as Kusakabe checked their youngest member over. Kusakabe didn't look at Lambo with anger or anything really. He hurriedly walked to one of the cabinets and pulled out a first aid kit then knelt in front of Lambo once more.

"I'm going to put a temporary bandage on it but we have to take you to the hospital. It doesn't look too deep but we need to make sure. We also have to make sure it won't get infected and you look a little pale."

Lambo knew the older man was trying to make him feel better by not scaring him but the small pool of blood said things were definitely not going well. He was too weak to protest and simply nodded. Kusakabe helped him into the back of his car, sitting next to him while Hibari drove them to the closest hospital.

"Can't Shamal look at me?"

"He's not in Japan at the moment."

Well, that explained the trip to the hospital. Lambo blinked once, then twice. "Kusakabe-san, tell my brothers I'm sorry…" He managed to murmur before passing out.

Twenty-four hours. It had been almost twenty-four hours since that…incident. Lambo had woken up in a bright hospital room, his wrist treated and bandaged. A lady had been seated near his bed and it hadn't taken long to understand the severity of the situation. He'd tried to kill himself.

He wasn't in denial, he'd known what he was doing but thankfully his family looking devastated had stopped him from finishing the job.

He'd been greatly disappointed to know his family wasn't with him but the doctor explained he couldn't have visitors until twenty-four hours had passed and after he'd been evaluated. He had smiled when she told him about the young men who'd barged in and wouldn't leave the hospital until they'd seen their brother. They were just a floor below actually.

After answering a bunch of questions that really bothered Lambo, the doctor had finally left but not before promising another evaluation later. Once that was done, the doctor had shared her diagnosis. He'd never heard of dysthymia but his symptoms all led to that little word. It seemed there was something making him feel the way he'd been feeling but they couldn't say for sure what that was; something about abnormal functioning in brain circuits, nerve cell pathways or some other stuff. There was a treatment for it and while Lambo agreed to the psychotherapy he refused to take any drugs. The doctor said she'd discuss it with his parents –as if- and they would go from there. She left after saying he could see his family once the twenty-four hours had passed.

Now he was here; waiting anxiously for his brothers to come in. The nurse had just explained to him that his family had been told they could come up and would be arriving shortly. Lambo had never felt this nervous. He had a feeling his brothers would be mad at him. He just knew they wouldn't want to be anywhere close to him.

He was so lost in thought he didn't hear the soft knock or the door opening. His hands were shaking terribly when he watched his big brother come in. He was hoping all of them would come running to see how he was but when only Tsuna walked in, he felt his eyes water. He couldn't blame them for not wanting to see him.

"I'm sorry for being selfish but I asked the others to wait out in the hallway so I could see you first," Tsuna said as if reading his mind. The Vongola boss looked terrible. He looked exhausted and his eyes were red and puffy. It had been a long time since he'd seen his big brother openly cry yet Lambo had made his big brother do so with one simple action. "Hi."

The young guardian started to cry and barely registered Tsuna pulling him into a tight hug. His brother's embrace felt safe. It made him feel like everything would be fine and Lambo knew it would. Tsuna had always been able to make him feel better, even now.

"I'm sorry Tsuna-nii, I'm so sorry." Lambo bawled and for once didn't care if he was seen as a baby.

Tsuna held him tighter and Lambo could just make out the soft cries his boss was making. His brother was shaking but it was obvious he was trying to be strong and Lambo loved him even more.

"No, I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am but we'll talk about that once you've had some more rest, ok?"

Lambo nodded. After a few minutes of crying Tsuna backed away, wiping his eyes. The boss sat near his guardian's side, holding his hand gently but firmly; a silent promise of never letting go.

"I want you to know we're here for you. Nobody is mad at you and we're not going to abandon you. We love you and in no shape or form are we going to let you deal with this on your own, understood?"

Tsuna handed him some tissue which Lambo used to wipe his snot away. "Understood, Tsuna-nii."

"Good. Now, are you up for some visitors?" He asked with a warm smile. Oh, how Lambo had missed that smile.

Tsuna had said they weren't mad at him but the way Hibari had looked at him back home told Lambo at least one of them was. After a small nod of consent, Tsuna walked out of the room to bring their family in. Lambo could only hope they would forgive him.

2nd A/N: Wow, I think this was the most heart I've ever put into a story. I was feeling pretty down when I started writing this but not once did I feel like ending it all. If you or anyone you know does feel this way…please get help and know you're not alone. I may not be much but I'm here rooting for you. Honestly, I am.

Next chapter coming soon but don't expect it this week. Stay safe this Halloween! Don't forget to review! Let me know your thoughts! It'll help me with the next chapter.