Julian sat at the bar staring into his drink. Mahogany eyes reflected his own gaze back from the brown orange depths of whatever it was Quark had given him. He didn't exactly remember ordering, but here it was, so he must have. He was willing to drink anything; he just hoped it was strong. He took a deep breath, picked up the glass and slammed back a drink that burned all the way down. It was stronger than he hoped for; it left him slightly dizzy and greatly improved his mood. The glass slammed back down into the synthetic wood of the bar. "Another," he rasped to the man behind the bar. A hand settled on his shoulder.
"Make it two," said a voice behind him, at once enticing and depressing. It was a warm voice that chilled him to his core, a voice he had come here to escape.
"Hello Miles," Julian said simply. The drinks arrived and Miles settled into the stool next to him. They slammed back the tangy liquid together, Miles gasping as it went down. A small smile played over Julian's lips.
"I might warn you, it's a bit strong."
"No," Miles said in mock disbelief, "Really?" They sat a moment in silence.
Julian didn't know if it was the drink or his physical proximity to Miles, but there was an ache deep, deep inside him to reach out and touch Miles in that deep, intimate way that would completely ruin their friendship.
"So…" Julian started, unable to stand the amicable, all too comfortable silence; it was polluted by all the things he wished he could say. He picked a topic to follow, one that belied his internal turmoil. "When will Keiko be coming home?" Miles threw him a withering glare. 'Sore subject,' he thought bitterly, 'Brilliant.'
Miles softened his gaze. "I don't know. Every time she sets a day for her return trip, something comes up and she cancels on me."
"I take it tomorrow's racquetball game is back on?" It wasn't really a question, but the grunt he got from Miles wasn't really an answer. It was fitting.
In pasts months, caring for Miles had become more of a commitment than Starfleet, a more involving role than chief medical officer. Miles was a fulltime responsibility. He often found himself waking up on Miles's couch, or vice versa, Miles, more often than not, asleep on top of him. It was becoming more than he could bear.
Julian had no compunctions about caring for a friend, even in such an extensive manner, but with Miles it was different. It was becoming more and more tempting to… 'No,' something inside him began to shout. 'Can't think like that. He loves Keiko.'
He stood from his stool after a few more drinks, proposing a rousing game of drunken darts. Quark, on overhearing him with those oversized ears of his, made sure to clear the area immediately surrounding the dartboard. They had almost done some serious damage the last time they played this particular game.
The night was a blur after that. After a few hours of hard drinking and darks, they thought to look around. Quark was bumping and thumping around in some back room or other. The bar was empty, the doors were locked. They had come to an understanding with Quark long ago. They could stay in the bar after closing as long as they kept buying drinks, which, especially tonight, was never a problem. They both held their liquor well, but, looking at all the empty glasses at the bar, Julian realized at least one of them would be reaching his limit.
Miles was up. He lifted the dart into throwing position, took a step back. He wavered slightly and Julian took a step toward him. He was throwing the dart when he fell. Julian was there to catch him. The chief's head thumped into Julian's chest as the board signaled a bull's eye. "Nice shot, Miles." There was a small mumbling, then he was out. "Come on, Miles, let's find you a nice place to sleep it off." He hefted the chief out the front door.
Once out on the Promenade, Julian considered taking Miles to his own quarters. 'No, mine are closer.' He had no intention of carrying the chief any longer than he had to. He drug the unconscious man to the nearest turbolift. "Habitat Ring," he instructed the lift. It didn't take long for the lift to reach the sector of the Ring they were looking for. He took the chief down the corridor and into his quarters. Dragging Miles around was taking a lot out of the already thinly stretched doctor. He hefted his friend onto the couch, then unzipped the gold-padded jacket. He had never understood why, but Miles hated sleeping with it on.
He took his boots off and walked into the kitchen. He found what he was looking for in an overhead cabinet: two doses of a drug designed to countermand the effects of a hangover. He found a hypo on the table and filled it and injected the chief. He filled it again and injected himself. Looking down on Miles, he contemplated how easy it would be to unzip the rest of his uniform and…no, he couldn't do it. It would be easy if he were someone else, but he was just himself. He couldn't believe how much he loved the man sleeping in front of him. It almost hurt, not being able to tell him, to touch him. He dropped the hypo, suddenly exhausted. He fell forward, asleep before he hit the couch.
The next night wasn't much different. They came stumbling in to Miles's quarters drunk and singing some old bar tune or other. They talked for a while about work and Keiko and why Julian hadn't 'settled down' yet, then Miles fell asleep on the couch. He stood there for a moment, staring down at his friend. There was just something about him. Staring down at him, he couldn't decide just what it was that pushed his buttons so. Maybe it was his hands, hands that had saved so many lives, so many times. Maybe it was his face, ruddy and lined by countless laughs and frowns. Maybe it was the insufferably curly hair that covered his head. He bent down and kissed the crown of that beautiful head. Then he heard something that froze his blood. "Julian," he started, and Julian jumped a mile high. He prepared himself for the onslaught of rejection, but Miles surprised him. "What you're looking for is down here." He grabbed the front of the doctor's shirt and pulled him into a long, tender kiss.