Notes

I feel like crying, lmao. First off, happy anniversary Pokemon! I've got this all set up before the Pokemon Direct comes out, but I'm really excited for that too! Can't wait for gen 8! But really, I am so emotional over finally, finally, getting this first chapter out.

I started this fic for Nanowrimo in 2015.

I got to about 30k words before I lost inspo and had to start on something else to finish out the 50k.

I worked on it again in 2016, and again in 2017, until it was massive (110k+), and then didn't touch it until May 2018, where I finally went through, cut parts I didn't like, and began rewriting the entirety of the fic.

And now, in 2019, I can finally say it's ready to be posted. So, yes, this fic has went through two complete rewrites to get here, haha. I've put a lot of love into this fic, so I really hope it comes through. My interpretation of May is very different from the usual takes, so I hope you like her. DaiHaru is a ship very dear to my heart, so I've put a lot of time and thought into how to portray them in a way that makes sense to me. Thanks so much for checking out this fic. It really means the world to me, and I'm excited to finally have this published. Without further ado, enjoy!

Ever since she was a little girl, the world had always left a strange taste in her mouth. May Maple, for as long as she could remember, had always felt like something was off; like she had done all of this before. She had gotten pretty good at ignoring the way her throat feels like it's drying out, and her head spins in circles, these days. There are some days, however, where she finds it impossible to ignore.

The day her mother tells her that her father got a job as a Hoenn region Gym Leader is one of them.

"Isn't that great?" Her mother says with excitement, looking up at her daughter from the bed with happy eyes.

May closes her eyes and puts a hand to her forehead, hoping to cool the heat that just rushed there. Leaning against the doorway, feeling dizzy and out of it, she struggles to keep herself in check. Dealing with her mother is a pain, and May definitely didn't want her fussing over her right this second.

This feeling of déjà vu – if it could even be called that - is something May had lived with for her entire life. Doctors have said it's just something off going on with how her brain stores her memories, and while entirely normal, her case is just a bit… excessive. They've also told her that her headaches are normal and are likely just hormone related, but nothing they gave her has ever seemed to help. They had told her that's unfortunately normal, too, and one day she would learn to live with it.

True to their word, for the most part, May had learned to ignore the odd feelings she experiences, but the headaches? Not so much. They consume her whole being for a few moments, sometimes.

May hates the headaches more than anything else.

Unfortunately, her mother recognizes the signs immediately and tries to push herself out of bed to come to her daughter, with airy words of we can talk about it later and you should get some rest. Her mother manages an impressive sitting position, but May is already scrambling to stand a little straighter. Her mother being close to her is the last thing she wants, so May shakes her head and does her best to ignore the pain in her skull.

"Why are we moving?" May said instead, digging her nails into her palms to try and focus on something – anything – other than the headache.

Her mother's frown deepened, but she responded with almost as much enthusiasm as before; though May could easily tell how forced it was. "Hopefully next week!" She exclaimed, attempting a smile. "I hope this is okay with you. You're old enough to stay by yourself in Johto now, but we'd really like it if you came with us."

Rolling her eyes painfully, May instantly regrets the action. It was damn obvious that her parents wouldn't let her stay in Johto by herself, technically old enough or not. They would find a way to drag her to whatever region they fancied themselves in.

Besides, May thought, not that it would change anything. She'd still need a signature; if she even still cared enough.

"I'm going to start packing."

Hoenn.

Hoenn sounded amazing, like a dream come true; even more so than staying in a house without her obnoxious parents around. They had vacationed there once when May was little, before her father had decided Pokemon were more important than his own family, and it was one of her favorite memories still to this day. Even though they lived by the ocean in Olivine, her mother wanted to go to Slateport City, which was a beautiful seaside resort town in southern Hoenn.

The weather had been hot, almost too hot, and May loved it. Johto was too close to Sinnoh for her liking – and though there isn't constant snow like there is over there, the summers in Johto never really felt like summer to her. The one week they had spent in Hoenn there had been no clouds in the sky, the water had been clear and sparkling and full of ocean life, and there was so much to do. There was a museum, a marketplace, a ship harbor, a contest hall…

Just thinking about all of it almost made her smile despite the pain still pounding in her skull. Part of her had always wanted to go back, and moving was a big step up from vacationing.

Closing the door to her room a little harder than absolutely necessary, May surveyed the small space. Maybe, she thought to herself, she could finally start her journey; though she quickly shot that down.

Always, ever since she could remember, May had wanted to travel with Pokemon. It was something she had gotten from her father, loathe as she was to admit; her love and adoration of the creatures they shared the planet with. Pokemon were incredible beings, able to do incredible things. Her soon to be a Gym Leader father was an experienced trainer, so May had grown up with Pokemon everywhere in her life – when she was too young to help her mother, he'd leave his Zigzagoon for May to play with, and Blissey to help around the house. But even though they were everywhere, May couldn't help but be amazed by the creatures.

But unlike every other child in the universe, May had never gotten to travel like she had longed to for her whole life. Flopping to her bed, she let the anger consume her momentarily, all pleasant thoughts of Hoenn flying out the window. Excited as she may be, the anger of never getting to leave like she was supposed to May knows is something she'll always hold with her. Her mother's sickness kept her tied to their house in Johto, and thanks to Team Rocket, the laws had changed: until you're eighteen years old, you need a parent's signature on your Trainer Card.

Of course, there were children who faked it – but May's father would've put a search warrant out in two seconds, flat.

In all honestly, May couldn't understand the laws no matter how hard she tried. Twelve year old kids can go out into the world on their own, and sixteen year olds can hold down a job and even have their own place. But if you're under eighteen, everything needs mommy and daddy's approval.

It drove her mad.

Rolling over on her bed, May looked up at the blank ceiling in her room. She wanted to drown out those depressing thoughts by thinking about all the things that could be different in Hoenn, or where they'd be moving to, exactly, but as soon as she pictured the perfect water and white sands, her headache came back with a vengeance.

Whimpering, she turned herself onto her side and pressed her face into a cold pillow. Maybe, she thought sourly, once she got out of Johto, these awful headaches would finally stop.

If only things were that easy.

After about an hour and a half of waiting around for her headache to go away, with no word or even a sound from her parents, May decided she should probably start packing. Forcing herself out of bed, she threw her hair into a tiny ponytail, and surveyed her room.

If she were to be blunt, May was not a neat person. In fact, she'd go as far as to say she's the exact opposite. Her laundry, clean or dirty, covered practically every inch of her hardwood floor; and her desk was littered with so much crap that it was unusable. Books, papers, writing utensils… if it had a name, it was probably on there somewhere. Stuffed animals in large piles sat next to her bed, and hanging off some of the larger toys were more clothes. The only thing that wasn't covered in something was her Wii U. No part of her wanted to bother dealing with this mess, wishing somehow it would just magically appear in boxes to no avail.

She took another look at everything, deciding that laundry was a good place to start. May begun to dig through her pile of junk she called a closet, and after a moment found what she was looking for – a large duffel bag she believed was an okay place to start – and tossed it with ease to the floor.

May sat herself down on the floor next to it, ready to force herself to get to work, when she heard a knock on the door. "What?" She snapped, already irritated at whoever it is.

"I'm coming in." Her father's deep baritone already has May's eyebrows narrowing.

He opened her door, standing in her doorway trying to make his presence look commanding. However, her father isn't the tallest man in the world, nor is May the least but afraid of him, so she stands up easily to meet his unspoken challenge.

Her eyebrows go from narrowed to raised in question, and his eyes flicked to the open, empty bag on the floor before finding her own again. "So you're coming with us, then," he asked, though his question sounded much more like a statement to May. There's nothing there, in his voice – no happiness or sadness, excitement or disappointment.

There were few things May hated more than this side of her father.

A few years ago, maybe, her father would've cracked a smile and scolded her for such a joke. If her mother had been there, she would've laughed like crazy, for if she had cared to know her daughter at all, she would've known how uninterested in romance she had always been. A few years ago, May would've likely said the same line with a lot less venom and bite and a lot more humor.

A few years ago, it wouldn't have been said to piss her father off.

Instead of a smile, May's angry frown is met with a scowl from her father. She almost wished he'd say something to set her off; wants to release the anger that's constantly building, but instead he doesn't even dignify his daughter with a reply, and May is left to simmer in her own emotions once more. She can hear him sigh as he made his way over towards the bedroom he's supposed to share with his wife.

"I'm sure she'll be happy to see you," May calls out, unable to hold her tongue, "it's only been a month after all." Again, she's met with no response.

Slowly, she walked over to her door, slamming it shut this time. Sinking down to the floor, part of her hates that things have turned out like this.

May doesn't really hate them – she just has no one else to blame. Her father hadn't been very present in her life since she was a little girl. The last time she even remembered having a family dinner on the weekly was almost a full decade ago, when she was six or seven. Then he decided Pokemon were far more important than his own family, and he begun to pour all of his time, energy, and care into becoming stronger. Her mother had been devastated, and her already failing health had taken a turn for the worse.

When May turned twelve, she expected to go on a trip to New Bark Town to get her starter Pokemon and begin her journey, that both of her parents and everyone else she'd ever met, practically, had been on. A week before, she had even tried talking to her mother about it; her mother however had met her enthusiasm with a nervous look and told her she'd talk to her father about it later. At the time, May had been young and naïve, and hopelessly optimistic, expecting her to be planning something special like gifting her first Pokemon to her instead.

Optimism turned into disappointment which quickly turned to rage. They told her she had to stay at home and look after her sick mother, and she didn't understand then, and she didn't understand now. Blissey could've easily stayed with her mother full time. They could've even afforded a live in nurse, with her father's salary. It's not like they were poor. There were so many different options that didn't include May sitting around and wasting away; watching as her class dwindled down to just her and one other student, until May herself finally stopped going entirely out of embarrassment.

At first, she hadn't blamed either of her parents. Her father was chasing his dreams, her mother's sickness was certainly not her fault, but the anger just grew and grew until it was all consuming. Without an outlet, May had nowhere else for it to go.

Then, it was only her father. If he had been around, if he had only cared about her or her mother, he would be there no questions asked. He started showing up at the house less and less, and finally, in May's mind, it didn't make sense to blame him anymore. Staying angry at someone you saw so infrequently wasn't easy when there was someone else around to take it instead.

May's rage finally turned to her mother – if she wasn't so sick or selfish, May had reasoned with herself, she could've went. She could be chasing her dream, too. Why should her father get to be the only one in the family? It didn't seem fair to her then, and it still didn't.

Having thought about it so much over the years, her anger continued to grow. She didn't help out around the house, either staying locked up in her room or she leaves the house to wander around Olivine.

But none of it mattered. They'd all be moving to Hoenn soon, and her father would have a job as a Gym Leader, which meant he'd be around even less if that was possible. And as for May?

She wondered briefly if the laws in Hoenn were different. Maybe she would finally be able to start her journey, like she'd wanted for so long.

She almost snorted at the thought. Yeah, right.

It hadn't even been a week since her mother announced they were moving, but May had been an anxious mess since. She was packing like crazy, unpacking and repacking, all the while avoiding her father like the plague. It was just like him to remember, suddenly, that he had a family and a house when May was feeling this anxious. Her mother was, of course, disappointed, but that was nothing new to her.

Today, however, they had actually left Johto; and had arrived in one of Hoenn's three airports, this one being in Mauville. It was a city north of Slateport, the only place in the region May was somewhat familiar with, and it seemed… nice, she supposed. The entire city was built into itself, apparently after a giant renovation that had happened a few years back. In the middle of the city was a huge statue of Kalos' Prism Tower, which May did think was pretty cool.

It was just May and her mother, as her father had come to settle himself into his new position the day before. May had rolled her eyes when he'd told them, completely unsurprised by that. Though he'd lended them a few of his Pokemon to help them move out, it had pissed her off all the same.

Between the weather, and the fact that everything was new, May almost thought she was in heaven.

But, of course, she and her mother quickly ran into a problem that snapped her out of her momentary peace: her mother wanted May to ride the entire three hour long car ride to Littleroot Town sitting next to her.

"Honey, please, it will be so much easier-"

"Do not call me honey!" May snapped, crossing her arms over herself tightly and turning away. "And no. I'll ride with the luggage, and that's final."

May stormed into the truck, feeling like a brat. She had no idea how handle these bursts of anger, though. She'd never been good at bottling her emotions up; when she was feeling something, it just came out. If she tried, sometimes she could take a minute before blowing up, but usually didn't even bother trying when it came to her parents. It was too difficult to stop, and it's not like she cared about upsetting them in the moment.

Her mother, of course, was predictably too tired to do anything else about May's behavior, and just let her climb into the back of the truck without further complaint. May sat down in between some boxes and tried her best to get comfortable on the metal floor. It wasn't going to be the most comfortable ride of her life, she was sure, but at least it was going to her new home – and at least she would be alone for a bit. After the airplane ride from Johto to Hoenn, she was desperate for some time away from her mother, and was looking forward to it despite the comfort level.

Until, a few minutes into the ride, she got a horrid headache.

Her mouth felt like it had been sucked dry, head felt hot and fuzzy, and she could see her vision spinning out in front of her. May snapped her eyes shut quickly on instinct, already curling up into a ball. These were the worst headaches, the ones where she couldn't let go of the fact that she had done this before, been there before, gone through all of this at least once already.

Pictures kept appearing before her closed eyes: herself, wearing a red shirt, a white skirt, and biking shorts underneath; a red bandana sitting on top of her head, instead of in a bow like she had on now. She was in the back of the truck, but she was smiling, and laughing to herself.

Arms wrapped around her legs – her own, she vaguely realized – in an effort to keep herself still and minimize the pain from the splitting headache. This had never happened to her before, not like this. She'd never had images of anything. Never had the pain been this strong, and never had the feeling overwhelmed her so completely.

May didn't put too much thought into it, though. First priority had always been to get the headache to stop. Slowly, she removed one arm from its position over her knees and took out her PokeNav+, turning on the GPS app.

She wasn't sure how long she watched the little icon move itself. It must've been a long time, though, because they were just about to arrive in Odale Town, located right above Littleroot now. Her headache had finally faded, those weird images of herself in different clothing gone with it.

Trying to think of what the doctors had said about these weird bouts, May kept her eyes trained on the icon on her PokeNav+ as the truck continued through the small town. Anxiety, she remembered them saying. It was probably anxiety that she was suffering from, and that's what was causing her to feel like she'd done all this before. She'd probably worn clothes just like the ones she was wearing, she told herself, in a failing effort to convince herself this wasn't strange. She probably wore them a few years ago, when she was eleven or twelve. They had looked like travel clothes – she'd probably been pretending to be a traveling trainer. She'd always liked reds and oranges, and she even owned a red bandana, May reminded herself. She was literally wearing it right now, just in a different manner.

Yes, she breathed to herself. Everything was fine, she was just anxious.

May continued to stare at her PokeNav+ for the rest of the ride. Soon, she thought, she would be at her new prison – her new home.

Notes

Despite it being a Wednesday, updates will be every Sunday, which means y'all get chapter one on March 3rd! See you then!