Instead of giving an author's note (well, a big one anyways), I'm going to let a couple of other, more worthy people introduce the story. I do not own the rights to Phineas and Ferb nor Mickey, Donald, and Goofy: The Three Musketeers, but you have to admit, they're both pretty awesome. All rights to all products go to their proper owners. Now, let's go. (Before I forget, this isn't part of the series, so you can skip it if you want.)
Chapter 1: Our Story Begins
It's dark a moment, but then a spotlight turns on, revealing a stage with a red curtain backdrop. A tapping sound, like bare feet on a floor, begins emanating from off-stage. A small figure enters the spotlight from stage left. It's a small platypus with a brown fedora and a full, three-piece black suit. His bow-tie, pocket handkerchief, and feather (on his hat) are all a striking red. The platypus taps one webbed foot impatiently, looks at his wristwatch, then looks stage right. He's waiting for someone.
From stage right, another sound starts becoming prominent. It's the sound of clomping feet, like from someone who has poor posture. A tall man with windblown brown hair comes into the spotlight. He too is wearing a three-piece suit with red decor, but, unlike his stage partner, he has no hat nor feather. The man takes out some cards from his pocket, shuffling them around and looking them over. The platypus rolls his eyes and chatters to get the man's attention. The man nods and waves for something from off-stage. From below them, someone hands the man a microphone and the platypus a charged translator.
"Hello, I'm Perry," said the platypus.
"And I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated," said the man from his cards.
"We are going to put on a show for you all tonight that I hope you will all enjoy very much. The story is called: 'The Agents in The Three Musketeers,' " said Perry.
"Ooh, The Three Musketeers. That's a pretty famous story," commented Doofenshmirtz from off of his cards.
"Yes, and many people have made adaptations of it. The one we are going to be focusing on is a little closer to home though."
"But, Perry, what about the story we were supposed to be doing? What about that?" the man read purposely from his cards.
"Ah, 'The Agents of the Opera' shall come another time. It was at Penelope's call that we perform this and it was Phineas and Ferb who were able to make most everything you see here possible. This is recorded before we left to... a location we won't say right now."
The man went off the cards with: "It's pretty obvious where we're going though. I mean, unless meerkats are on different continents."
"Who said we were going to their native land anyway? Besides, I think we can all agree that with the Enigma in prison and everything being at a short lull, it shall be perfectly okay to take a break from all of that. A well deserved break, I think." Perry winked at this.
"Right, and I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated."
"You already said that."
"Oh, uh..." the man switched to a different card. "We hope you enjoyed this daring adventure of-"
"Now you're too far."
"Uh..." the man switched through cards manically. Eventually the cards fell and, in the man's effort to pick them up, he fell off the stage. Perry widened his eyes and ran to the edge of the stage to check on the man. "I'm okay, the fall was only five feet... onto my back."
"He's fine, he's had far worse than this," Perry addressed the audience. "Well, while I help the doctor back to his feet, please enjoy our production of The Three Musketeers as done with a version that is a favorite to all of us in our family." Perry leaped off the stage.
"I think I taste my spleen," said Doofenshmirtz. There was a sound of dragging as Doofenshmirtz became visible to the bottom edge of the stage. He seemed to be following someone (most likely Perry) to a place to rest. The doctor truly did appear to be fine.
The spotlight went out and some sounds were heard as the scene was set. The lights came back on to a full screen revealing the makers of the production. P&F Productions. Another screen. In partnership with D.E.I. Another screen. P&F Productions Presents. The performance began.
"Set dresser to the stage," said a woman from off screen.
"Check lights," said an off-stage man.
"Hey, where's that turtle with my narrator?" came another man's voice.
The title came to the screen: "Perry, Pinky, and Doofy: The Three Musketeers." The title goes away to reveal an orange turtle in a fedora, magazine in hand. The turtle seemed engrossed in his reading... perhaps too engrossed.
"Singing, singing, singing, singing all say long. When I'm singing, there is nothing that is wrong. Musketeers, hey!" The turtle gave a glance where the audience would be and, as if self-conscious about himself, stopped proclaiming so loudly. Instead, he went with, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la."
"Talent to the set, please!" the woman from before said.
"We're live in 60 seconds," said a man.
"60 seconds?!" the turtle was shocked and leaped from his chair, but not before making sure to stow away his magazine in his shell.
"Where's the narrator?" the woman sounded annoyed.
The turtle went up to a door with a gold star on it. "Mr. Narrator, Mr. Narrator! Sir, sir, it is time!" he knocked insistently on it while calling out loudly to the man inside. The door slammed open, crushing the poor turtle behind it. Ferb came out, book in hand. He really didn't want to read today. He began walking off, but not before the turtle began interrupting his progress.
"Sir, excuse me, but today is the day, right, sir? Because you promised I can sing my songs about the musketeers, right?" He took a lute from out of his shell and was about to begin when Ferb interrupted him.
"That was not something I arranged. Baljeet was supposed to read today, but he got sick. I took his place, even though I'd rather be spending time building something with Phineas," said Ferb.
"Oh. Then, perhaps I could try out one of them on you, sir?"
"I have no objections."
The turtle's face lit up as he began, "All for one-" His lute was taken from him by a passing Buford. The bully smashed the lute on the turtle's head, causing a comic effect in which his underwear was temporarily visible. Buford threw the lute away carelessly and was about to walk off when he looked in the direction the audience might have been and gave his say on the matter.
"What? I'm not allowed to bully turtles? Baljeet's sick! What am I supposed to do with all this free time?" asked Buford.
"You could try anger management classes," suggested Ferb.
"You know, if I didn't respect you, you'd be paste by now." Buford walked off, feeling a little steamed.
Ferb turned to Terry (the turtle). "I just want to get this done. I have a reputation to uphold, and I can't keep that if I'm reading a full-out novel," said Ferb. He had been agitated by the meaningless task.
"But, sir..." protested Terry quietly as Ferb walked away. Ferb had his nose in the book, reviewing it before having to read it aloud. He had thoughts of skimming it, or maybe projecting it into audience's minds by blinking. It worked with Phineas.
As Ferb walked, Terry noticed where he was headed. "Oh, no, no, no, wait, sir, the stage is-" He couldn't finish because Ferb had fallen into a trap door. "This way," he finished, pointing the other way. The book Ferb had in his hands somehow bounced up from down below. It was now flying through the air.
"Let's have some quiet, people," came a man's voice.
"Five seconds to air," said another. By this time, the book had struck Terry and began to ricochet him around.
"Cue music," said another.
"And... action!" By this time, Terry had unfortunately wound up in the chair that was meant to be Ferb's chair. The lights were on and the camera was rolling.
"What's that turtle doing out there?" asked one.
"Where's the narrator?" asked another.
"We're live," said a woman in realization and wariness.
"Just go with it," said a man. To the turtle, he said, "Hey, you! Don't just sit there like a turtle! Do something!" Terry was incredibly camera-shy. He found his head going into his shell to hide a moment, hoping it would all go away. His head re-emerged and the man continued, "You're on camera! For crying out loud, say somethin'!"
"Uh... hello," Terry said shyly. As he shook with fear, his magazine fell into his lap.
"Tell the story!" the man went on.
Terry was struck with an idea then. He was, after all, holding a comic in his hands. (A big enough comic that it looked like a magazine.) He could very well tell this story. Besides, with his head in a book the whole time, he'd forget the camera was even there. "Ah," he said aloud, voicing his epiphany. He cleared his throat shakily, but said, in as confident a voice as he could muster, "Today I will tell you the story of... da da da, 'The Three Musketeers'!" He waved his comic around proudly. "This is my favorite version: the one with pictures! And, of course, my songs," he laughed triumphantly. He'd get to sing his songs after all.
He began: "Our story begins in the gutter..." The first picture is that of a younger Perry, Pinky, and Doofy (Doofenshmirtz). A small chameleon was on Perry's shoulder. They were in urchins' clothing and Perry was sadly cutting out a tin can with a fork and knife. The other two were looking at it sadly. They were possibly thinking: Worst. Meal. Ever.
The turtle continued: "...where poor street urchins, Perry, Pinky, and Doofy struggle to survive."
The picture changes to one of a bunch of bad guys: Dr. Diminuative, Dr. Bloodpudding, and Rodney. They had Doofy and Pinky in a state of fear, while Steve (the chameleon) and Perry were defiant to the bad guys (even though they were the only ones in their clutches). "Oh no! Bad guys! Will anyone defend these innocent children? Anyone? Anyone?! Well? Anyone?" The pictures changed a few times, showing the three getting thrown around by the bad guys before the scene changed again.
"Ah ha! The royal musketeers!" Terry proclaimed triumphantly. A golden silhouette showed around three tall, dark, and handsome men in uniform who had come to save the day. A few pictures go by of the musketeers throwing around the bad guys.
"And after the dust settles, a kindly musketeer gives Perry a gift." It was a specially made brown hat, exclusive to those who served in the musketeers. Little Perry tried it on, but the hat drooped onto his bill, covering his eyes. "Ah, don't worry, Perry, you'll grow into it."
Another picture showed a golden silhouette around the three children in musketeer costume (well, the best they could do, anyway). They had wooden swords and each of them had some sort of hat on their heads (Pinky had a pot on his head). Steve beamed proudly from Perry's shoulder. Terry continued the story: "From that day on, Perry, Pinky, and Doofy dreamed of being great musketeers!" The picture transitioned to a picture of the trio (and pet) grown up in janitor's clothing and gear. "Ah, but as the years passed, their dream was still as far away as ever. You see, before their dream can come true, our three heroes must learn the real meaning of the musketeer creed: 'All for one and one for all'! And, I just so happen to have a song about this!" He laughed triumphantly. The scene had taken a change and Terry had become part of the scenes in the story. As he had always dreamed, he was being a troubadour, just like in the days of old. He began playing his lute in a merry tune...
Okay, so it's pretty basic thus far. If there's anything I should put in, let me know. I'll put up the cast at the end of the story. It will be my end credits ;) I hope you guys like the story so far and I hope you will keep reading and reviewing. Please and thank you :)