[8:43 PM, Friday]

It was a peaceful Friday evening. Marinette's parents were out of town for a weekend trusting their daughter with being alone until Sunday night. Tikki didn't get the reason why or where they go but she never asked questions when they were not needed... or at least she thought she never did. Marinette was in her room, probably designing or drolling in front of her Adrien photo display, so Tikki could go explore the place.

She always loved when she could look around her holder's home without a fear she'd get caught by her parents. This place had it's own charm that she couldn't describe by words. Actually, she could, but not in English or French. Everywhere she looked there were photos of Marinette and her parents. Space was nice and warm and you could feel the love filling the space. She never had a holder whose home was this... welcoming? Or at least when they had a home... or family... or...

Anyway! The most important thing about the flat was being linked to the bakery! She liked to sneak out at night when Marinette's parents were asleep so she could grab some sweets.

At first, she never took more than fifty chocolate-chip cookies per visit, so it wasn't much. But then the owners did not think it wasn't much. First, they accused Marinette of eating them but she asked what purpose would she have to sneak out at night to grab fifty cookies when she could just ask for them. After that Marinette asked her not to steal cookies from the bakery.

So she moved on to fruit tarts and croissants.

She didn't understand why her holder also wasn't so happy about that though. She never said anything about these so what was wrong?

It was happening for some time when bakers decided that they need to find the cookie thief.

One night Tikki noticed that Dupain-Chengs installed some weird boxes at the ceiling so she decided to examine one of them while eating a cookie. In the morning she found out that Tom and Sabine have decided that their bakery was haunted. She told Marinette that she couldn't sense any spirits in the house nor it wasn't her doing but the girl just facepalmed and left it be. The next day they called an exorcist and since then she wasn't so interested in going to the bakery. That day Marinette has decided to increase her daily cookie stock so she didn't have a reason to go down there anymore.

So instead she decided tonight is the night to explore Marinette's parents' bedroom since she's never been there.

The room wasn't as big as Marinette's. In the middle, there was a queen-sized bed, two-night tables at each side and sitting cushion at the end of the bed... Why buying another place to sit when you can do it on the bed. It doesn't make sense. But who is she to judge?

Back to reality, she looked at a window - very big, white window with a view at a crossroad.

Nice.

Then she looked the other way - a couple of swords, machine gun, a rope - all of them hang on the wall.

Very nice.

... Welp, seen it, lived it, loved it so now it was time to get herself into cookie coma.

As she was making her way out of the room, she noticed an open cabinet next to the door. She didn't notice it earlier. And it was open. It was like an invitation to look what's inside - and who is she to decline? She made her way to the cabinet and when she looked what's in there - her whole world stopped.
Marinette must see it - now.

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[8:58 PM, Friday]

Tikki entered teenager's room with a crash. Marinette jumped at the sudden noise and came eye to eye with her kwami friend.

"Marinette! You must go downstairs with me right now! It's extremely important and I need your help." said Tikki and started flying away toward the stairs.

Marinette's eyes went wide and immediately followed her. Her first thought was that there must be an Akuma attack. But then why Tikki didn't tell her to transform? Was there a burglar? ...No, the alarm would turn on and Tikki would also tell her to transform. So maybe she found an ancient artifact... or something that suggested her father was Hawkmoth! The thought made her shiver - it would be horrible to find out someone you loved is a villain slash terrorist.

She let Tikki lead her to her parent's room. Her heart started beating faster, her "my dad's Hawkmoth" theory might be coming true. And suddenly her heart stopped as she glanced at the wall. Why on earth would her parents own so many weapons? And oh god was that a grenade? She was staring at them, feeling numb until Tikki's voice woke her up.

"You must help me with those I can't open them myself Marinette!" she squeaked enthusiastically and went for the cabinet. Marinette, on the other hand, found herself confused. So her parents were not psychopaths...? Then why on earth would they have all these... Okay, whatever, she just needed to be more chill and don't jump into some stupid conclusions.

Marinette came closer to the cabinet, "What do you need help with Tikki?" she asked. For a second there was no answer but then the cabinet opened and Marinette's became more confused than ever.

"Marinette, your parents have Don Julio from 1942! And, oh my, Toro Alballa. Those must have cost fortune, how did they get their hands on those?" Tikki gasped, Marinette just was staring at her confused, "Not that it matters, we're drinking those two tonight. Please open this one." she pointed at tequila.

At that moment Marinette didn't know if this was a dream or just some weird joke that Tikki was playing on her.

"Um, Tikki... is this a joke...?" the girl asked unsure what to do with this situation. Tikki just laughed and shook her head.

"Of course not silly!" kwami said cheerfully, "It was ages ago when I last had tequila. Or wine, vodka, gin..."

As Tikki started to count types of alcohol, Marinette's mind went off. Her sweet, innocent kwami friend likes alcohol. Did she get hit by an Akuma and now she is in some alternate universe?

"Marinette! I changed my mind." Marinette sighed relieved, but then Tikki continued, "Let's drink this Chateau wine first. Do you have a corkscrew?" and she stared at the girl expectantly.

It took Marinette ten seconds to respond, "Tikki, excuse my language but... What the hell?"

Not in a million years, she would expect that Tikki, extremely serious and responsible, was asking her to open a wine. And drink it with her!

Tikki looked unfazed though, "Oh it's nothing. I just like to drink with my holders sometimes.", she answered her with so much joy in her voice that made the whole situation even more surreal, "Come on Marinette, you're a teenager! Be more chill and have fun for once in your life!"

Aaand that was the moment when she started considering it. It was just like she said to herself earlier - be more chill. But then again, what if Hawkmoth decided to release an Akuma. Tikki immediately read through her thoughts.

"Don't worry about Hawkmoth, I'm sure that Chat Noir can handle it tonight.", said Tikki and tried to pick up the wine.

But Marinette still wasn't fully convinced, "I know he can handle it, but... I am the only one who can de-evilized it.", Tikki looked at her and it was clear she wasn't having it anymore.

"He'll just have to put a butterfly in a jar and wait for us.", she retorted then yet again turned her attention to bottles. Maybe she should have gin or liqueur first and not wine. But then he didn't know how Marinette would react to them, so maybe she should pick something lighter... Eh, she'll just have to stick with wine for her girl's sake.

"Tikki, I... we can't afford to make the same mistake like Stoneheart. What if...", oh right, Marinette still was not sure. Kwami sighed and cut her off.

"Marinette, you're allowed to make mistakes. I am allowed to make mistakes. Everyone can make mistakes.", she said and laughed, "Plus come on, I don't wanna be the only one to make mistakes tonight. Let's do it together, with no care in the world and not let anyone or anything spoil our fun."
Marinette just stood there considering every word.

Since she became Ladybug she rarely had time to herself - not that she hadn't any. It's just that... All of her friends have all of the time in the world for things they want to do. And there is she. When an Akuma attacks she must leave everything so she could save the city. Going out with her friends, helping her parents, watching over Manon, school, stalking Adrien... Every single one of those was always interrupted by Hawkmoth. Oh god, because of him she missed that party Nino threw last month. He and Alya had told her that it wasn't a big deal and she could go next time.

But she wanted to go the first time and it wouldn't be the same. She also didn't miss the look of disappointment in her friends' eyes. It was not the first time she ditched them without a legit explanation. Maybe they started to think that she just did not want to spend time with them...? How could she find the words and courage to tell them that she's a superhero and that is far more important than friends... But then again. Is that really true?

Tikki and Master Fu have told her many times that she has a duty and destiny to oblige. Yet, was it worth the cost she's been paying this whole time? Not only her relationships got worse - as much as she didn't want to admit it or tell anyone, including Tikki, her self-image. At first, it wasn't bad. Everybody was giving praises to her alter ego and admire her. But then one day someone compared her two selves to each other. It wasn't meant to be mean yet it hurt to finally see that her normal self, wasn't as good as the superhero one.

Also, everyone seemed to be crushing on Ladybug. She hated to admit that when Nathaniel changed his object of affection for Ladybug she was kind of sad. Even Adrien seemed to have a crush on Ladybug. It was like... Is she not enough to even consider?

She looked at Tikki. Her kwami still tried to choose the best alcohol. Marinette looked at those bottles, then at the window and the city and yet again at the bottles. She made her decision.

The girl sighed and grabbed an opened before Ciroc vodka, "Let's start with this one. We can have shots or make ourselves drinks with coke." said Marinette and Tikki let out an excited squeak.

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[10:24 PM, Friday]

Marinette was laughing hard as she listened to Tikki's story about how Plagg "didn't notice" Tower of Pisa. She could not believe that someone this small can be so destructive. But then again, he was an embodiment of destruction. The girl and her kwami reached for their shot glasses.

"Oh god Tik, dis is the b'st thing I've eve' heard. Cheers.", said Marinette and gulped all of her tequila at once.

Tikki laughed, already drunk, "Just ya wait till ya hear 'bout Trixx 'nd all da 'miracles' he and dat Jesus guy did. Cheers.", and she drank the whole thing. Marinette's eyes went wide.

"N' way, he's been a fox?", girl squeaked and fell of the couch.

Tikki snorted at that, "Oui.", she looked at her empty glass and at the bottles. They've finished vodka within' an hour then they moved on wine and when they finished that one too, Tikki decided it's finally time for tequila. And tequila was Tikki's favorite.

"Hei, Tikki how m'ch 'd we drink, 'cuz tbh I lost count", Marinette asked lying on the floor.

Kwami stared at the empty bottles, but her head was spinning... or maybe she was spinning around, she couldn't tell. There was one bottle on a table, the other one was on a couch and she was sitting on top of one..."... I fo'got how to cou'nt. Mari 'elp meh.", she mumred.

Marinette looked at her and shook her head, "Nnnnn, n' gon' do that.", she hardly stood up, almost falling over again, "Tiks, letz go to ma rooom 'nd get dis party beg'n", she took Don Julio bottle and she started walking... tripping on everything on her way to her room and the sound of something falling spread through space.

Tikki, on the other hand, was outraged. First of all, nobody says no to her. Second, how dare she took her tequila. And finally, she still did not remember how to count. She wasn't having it.

"Nonono, we ain't playin' like dis kiddo. Ya'r leavin' ma tequila 'nd ya ain't no leavin' dis r'm. Ya need to be un'der sup'rvis'on 'nd y'll be not d'sobey m.", she stated before adding, "Go t' ya room 'nd think 'bout wha' ya did youn' l'dy."

And when she looked at 'Marinette' she was 'weirdly resembling a broom'. Did she think that Tikki will let her go with not listening to her by playing a broom? Oh, she thought soooo wrong.

"M'rnett', no st'lkin' Adr'n fur a week.", but there was no response, "Ch'nged ma mind. F'r tfwo weeks!", still no answer. Tikki almost got furious, but then she remembered she was the responsible one so she will give her another chance to redeem herself, "Ya makin' m' do dis.", silent as Tikki ever "not heard" her, "T'ree we'ks g'rl."

Meanwhile, Marinette finally got to her spinning chair. She placed Don Julio bottle on her desk and she looked at her computer. Adrien's big green eyes were looking at her and she couldn't help herself but cringe. What would he say if he saw her right now?

Looking like she was crawled to hell and then brought back. Drinking because she felt weak. Feeling like nothing. Probably endangering whole Paris by giving in her insecurities and Tikki. Wait no, Tikki didn't pour the alcohol in her mouth. It was all her. It's all her fault.

Marinette looked at her walls. His eyes were on her. Judging her. Quickly she made her decision - she changed her wallpaper on the computer and then started ripping posters from her walls. But they all landed on the floor and now his eyes were looking at her from below. She couldn't stand it. She grabbed as many as she could and made her way to the bathroom.

She opened the toilet and started shoving them there. She did that three times more when she was sure there was no poster left. So she flushed the toilet. And nothing. They did not move and his eyes were still looking at her. Marinette was growing desperate and so she made her way to the cabinet near mirror. She found matches.

Hiiiiii. So it's cross posted on AO3. I'll just copy paste notes and chapters from there because why not.

First of all, I apologize for "Jesus is fox" joke. I couldn't help myself. If someone's offended by it I'll remove it.

Hi.
Soooooo... well, let me just justify my concept because I know it is quite ridiculous? So one night I was laying on my couch and my brother came to my room, slightly drunk, and started telling me how his friend's birthday party, or just party idk, went. The things he was saying were so ridiculous and I had a hard time breathing from laughing. And then we just kept retelling each other's drunk stories.
So that night for some dumb reason I thought that what really I want to see is Tikki get drunk and then Master Fu's like: "What did I say?" "Dn't have tequila" "And what did you have?" "Tequila."
But I couldn't find any fic that has this. So I thought to myself "You gonna make it happen, baby". And so this is basically a story from real life experiences, mostly my brother's because he has more friends than I and I was really drunk only three times in my life.
Also if you think that the amount they drank this chapter is deadly - you're probably right but I'm Polish. And sometimes when I'm watching what people are drinking at the parties and how much I am legitimately wondering how are they even alive.
Also, don't do this to yourself. I made this mistake three times and hungover sucks. It's also not my type of entertainment so.
Anyway, it will be multichapter focusing mostly on Tikki and Marinette's feelings and any bullshit they do while they're drunk. I hope someone will enjoy my story.

And there will be a translation in Polish. I just found it easier to write some jokes in English.