This bottle only missed one drink, it was Jaha's. Bellamy's thoughts were somehow with this man, that he'd hated so much when he was younger. But now, he felt like he'd become just like him. Earth had forced him to. At this point he felt like he'd floated his best friend & soulmate, so that the rest of them could survive.
It was only a week ago, how the hell were they supposed to last 5 years up here? There were already fights and the grounders didn't fit very well to the group. Echo was by herself mostly, the others rejected her. At first they were fine, but she had been to harsh when it was about Clarke. She never really liked her, but knew the others did and it was annoying because she kind of took her place. They were all there because of what Clarke did, there was no other choice then besides death.
'Love is weakness', it was written in her genes and Echo was also damaged because of her own trauma's, but the group of friends didn't know her story yet, they simply weren't interesting. And were all grieving about their losses. Jasper, Clarke...and all the people in the bunker. Would they ever meet again?
Echo didn't care, she was banished anyway...
Slowly he opened the bottle and smelled it while gazing at the moon, remembering how he showed his sister this the first time right before the ball. And before their mum got floated, that feeling of guilt was always with him and even grew. It was some pretty strong booze he'd got there, but what the hell? Just what he needed right now. He took a large sip and felt his eyes sting when he swallowed it, his throat became numb after 5 seconds, welcome feeling after weeping so long. Didn't take him long to finish half of the bottle, that's when Monty walked around the corner.
"Hey, what are you doing?" He walked fast and quickly grabbed the bottle out of Bellamy's hand.
Bellamy smiled careless. "Drinking." his eyes on the bottle.
"I wanted to use that, you know, for all of us? I could make more out of it, so we can share. I thought as a leader, you'd get that."
Bellamy leaned against the window, lowered his head and put up his hand. "Whatever Monty."
He felt his heart ache, anger building up inside and tears were burning in his eyes. This somehow remembered him of his intense goodbye with Jasper. There was a silence, both of Monty's hands formed into a tight fist. When Bellamy looked at him he noticed and frowned. "Are you okay?"
His hands, who were covered in bandage, were still burning because of the radiation, squeezing his hands created more pain, a distraction to not think of Jasper and his mum.
While hiding his anger like that he answered "Yes" and turned to walk away, but then quickly turned again.
"Actually Bellamy, I'm not okay! What are you thinking? I've noticed your attitude, we all have. But you know what? You're not the only one, we're all in pain here! We all have to deal with our losses, the grieve inside of us. We're all haunted by the things we've done."
At first he didn't take it seriously, but Monty did reach him and now he was looking at his friend with wide open, wet eyes. "You still have Harper." he whispered and lowered his head.
"And you still have all of us! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to say goodbye to Jasper? He was my best friend."
"At least you got to say goodbye to him."
Monty now shook his head. "He gave up his life! Clarke wanted to live, she sacrificed her life for all of us."
"No, you're wrong. I've left her behind."
"Fine, think what you like. But you know, if you continue to be like this, your just like Jasper, a quitter. I've never seen you give up before. Remember that time, when you went looking for Clarke? You did everything to save her. Now she's gone and we're here." he walked away, leaving Bellamy in tears with his hands in his hair. When he was just around the corner, Monty looked back "Think about it."
But Bellamy couldn't look at him, his eyes were closed. Slowly he let himself sink through his knees, on the floor. He was broken.
… … …
The group decided to leave him alone, a small banishment from the group at the other side of the ship. There had to be rules if they wanted to make it those five years together, that's what the man himself had said when they just arrived, like when they landed with the dropship and Clarke mentioned this. They all had their owm chores to do and the worst of them were for Echo. And she took it, she was happy with the fact that they survived together, that she was somehow needed and that they didn't kill her.
"I've got you some water." she offered, entering Bellamy's room.
But he attacked her right away, the small cup of water flew through the air. "What the hell you think you're doing here."
Within seconds she had him on the floor. "You're weak Bellamy." and she got up and left. This same thing happened for a couple of days and then she had enough of it.
"Okay you want to fight? You need to get rid of that aggression somehow. So let's fight."
He wanted to charge her right away again, but she sarcastically laughed. "Wait! Not here you idiot. I meant a real fight."
Bellamy nodded, he was so ready to wipe her ass. Maybe that's why he wanted her to be alive, to be able to remember her every day what she'd done. It was easy to blame her for everything.
… … …
Murphy yelled "You're not invited Bellamy!" then he gave him a friendly smile.
Bellamy was amazed by how his friends organised fights, to get some physical exercise. It was a good thing, but annoying that Echo seemed to be the leader.
"What's this? You want us to become Azgeda warriors?" he snapped at her.
But Echo laughed and stepped towards him, her body changed into a fighting mode and she gestured Bellamy to attack her.
"This is crazy, just answer the question!" But instead she kicked him in the chest real hard so that he fell backwards.
He growled and jumped up, attacking her. "You bitch!" he hit her, grabbed her and pushed her against the floor.
"You shouldn't be here...I think about all the things you've done everyday, you've hurt so many people, killed so many...I was a fool for saving your ass!" his knee moved forward to her neck, Murphy watched and was impressed as it seemed that he wanted to choke her.
"i should've killed you when I had the chance." Bellamy was raging inside.
Murphy walked towards them, bend a bit and put his hand on his friends shoulder. "Bellamy stop. This won't help."
"Shut up Murphy!" and he punched him right in the face. Right at that moment Echo got up, made a few moves and sat on top of him, now they'd switched roles.
"The commander of death isn't among us any more Bellamy, it's time you accept that. No one decides who deserves to live or not." both hands were on his throat and she nearly choked him.
"Come on, fight back!" she demanded. "Where's your survival instinct Bellamy?" she punched his face and stood up.
Murphy now watched everything from the sidelines, he suddenly knew what she was doing, she was helping him.
"Come on! You're a warrior, fight!" she yelled.
Bellamy slowly crawled up, he cried.
"You're still so weak, you'll never gonna last five years up here!" she provoked him to fight again.
He took a deep breath through his nose, made an angry sound and charged her again, but she hit and kicked one time and he was on the floor again. With a sarcastic smile she ended their first training. "Tomorrow I expect you to actually do something."