Struggles
First story I've written.. not all that great, a friend asked me to write it.
The was going just as usual. Nothing exciting happening, just loads of paperwork and errands to do. Even though he hated doing all of it, he didn't complain. It was for the one he admired after all. He would do anything for him, even if it did not seem that way. He had to put up a front in fear of what might happen if he let his true feelings show. The man he admired, the man he loved, wasn't one who would appreciate knowing such a thing. He would most likely frown upon it and be disgusted with him. That was one thing he did not want. As much as it hurt, he would rather keep his unrequited love a secret and be able to stay close to the man he held such deep feelings for, than to spoil it and ruin his only chances of being close to him.
Despite their many differences and the various problems they had with one another, Renji still found him irresistible. Renji sighed as his thoughts quickly drifted away from his work and to his captain. He admired so much about the man. He let his eyes drift from the papers in front of him to the man working not far from himself. His eyes roamed freely over the perfect form of his captain, taking in all of his beautiful, delicate features. He admired his slender, yet powerful frame, his beautiful raven hair and cold, harsh, yet kind grey eyes… all of it, and more, made him love the man sitting there. His mind quickly turned toward the inappropriate thoughts that often accompanied his glances of his captain.
Without realizing it, having been too focused on his thoughts, his captain had ceased working and was now staring, or more like glaring, at his lieutenant, very aware of the eyes upon him. He disliked it when Renji got distracted from him work, and even more so when he stared at him the way he was. It was unnerving, though he would never admit that, and he disliked it when Renji strayed from his work.
Clearing his voice, Byakuya spoke in his usual cold tone, "Do you need something?"
Renji jumped at the unexpected sound of the voice and, shaking his head slightly, met the cruel gaze of Byakuya, "Uhm, no, I don't. Sorry, Captain.." Renji quickly averted his eyes and tried focusing on his work. He couldn't let himself get so distracted again. Byakuya would end up becoming angry with him, that or he would have to make a trip to a secluded area so he could calm his little friend below. He had to keep his fantasies and mind clear, for now.
It took longer than it should have, but he eventually got it all done, late into the evening. Byakuya never let him leave early, unless all of the work was completed. The sun had set hours ago, and it was late. He had planned on meeting with some friends before retreating into his quarters for rest, but that obviously wasn't happening now. He knew they would be disappointed that he did not show up, but he didn't care. The extra time spent helping his captain finish his work was worth it. He not only got to spend more time with the man, but he also got to gaze upon him longer.
After many long hours, he finally finished all of his work. He stretched as he stood from his workplace and checked with Byakuya one last time, making sure he did not need anymore assistance before he left for the night. He had planned on meeting with some friends before retreating into his quarters, now he did not feel up to doing that. Plus, it was most likely too late anyway. He knew they would be disappointed that he did not show up, but he didn't care at the moment.. Glancing back to steal one last quick look at his captain, Renji left.
He reached his room quickly and fell onto his bed. He wasn't tired, but had nothing else to do. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the ceiling, letting his thoughts wander. He thought about various things, and it wasn't long before his mind wandered to the one who normally occupied his thoughts. Byakuya began to invade his mind once more. He closed his eyes, bringing forth a mental image of the man. He let out a pleased sigh as his mind began playing various images. Now that he was alone, he could let his mind wander and let the fantasies he had been suppressing for so long surface.
Byakuya approached him and, before Renji could even react, had him locked in a deep and passionate kiss. Breaking it, Byakuya begged for him to take him then and there. Renji placed his hands gently on his captains firm chest, returning the kiss. Renji let his hands slowly roam the thin but muscular body, slipping his hand under his haori, teasing the hardening tips that lay beneath it. He placed his lips gently to the captains neck, where he began licking up and down it, gently nipping at it as he did. A smirk formed on his lips when he heard a soft groan escape Byakuya's throat.
He gently pushed Byakuya onto his back, stripping off all of his clothing as he did. He spread the mans legs, sliding between them, taking his mouth in a long, passionate kiss. His hands worked their way down his chest to his lower area. He slowly and softly rubbed the flesh around the now hard member, teasingly avoiding it. Byakuya let out a whine of protest when he did. Renji only smiled down at him as he stripped off his clothing.
Grabbing Byakuya gently, he guided his head down to his own engorged member. Byakuya immediately, without the slightest hesitation, opened his mouth and took in the length. Byakuya diligently sucked on his member, at the perfect pace. Renji laced his fingers through his captains hair, quickly climbing toward his climax. Before he was ready to release, he pulled Byakuya away and slid his fingers into his mouth, ordering him to suck on them, and Byakuya obeyed.
Once the fingers were wetted enough, Renji positioned them at his hole, pushing on in at a time, making sure he got adjusted to them before he began slowly and rhythmically moving them inside the tight muscle. Byakuya squirmed under him, soft, quiet moans escaping from his lips. He moved his hips, wanting more. Soon, he began begging Renji for more. Despite his begs, he let out a disappointed groan when he felt the fingers leave him, but that was quickly replaced with a pleased moan when the tip of Renji's member was felt at his entrance. Renji slowly pushed it in, until it was completely inside of his captain. He didn't move, waiting for him to become adjusted to the intruding mass and give him the signal.
After a few moments, Byakuya began to grind down on Renji's member, giving him the signal to begin his sweet motions. Renji began slowly, but soon picked up the speed of his thrusts. Byakuya's moans grew louder and louder with every one of them. He wrapped his arms around Renji's shoulders, clutching at him and begging for more. Renji gave him everything he wanted, pounding into him harder and faster. Soon, he felt the muscles contracting around his member, and saw Byakuya release onto his chest, while he moaned out his name and clung to him tighter, trembling from the sweet feeling of release. With a few more thrusts, Renji himself found his own release and collapsed onto his captain, taking his lips into a long and passionate kiss.
Renji let out a low groan, biting his lip to hold back the loud moans that threatened to rise out of his mouth. He stopped stroking himself as his fantasy dissipated and he released his desires. Renji laid there, staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as he came back to his senses. Once he did, he began laughing at himself. Everything he thought of just now, it was ridiculous, as if anything like that would ever happen. As if he would ever be that willing. As if he would even ever be able to get that close to him.
All of that was just a sweet, and far fetched fantasy that would never happen, nor could ever be revealed. His feelings were overwhelming, however, and he was unsure if he could keep secret his feelings for his captain. He had done it for so long already. How much longer could he do it? Maybe he should just shout it out to him. Who knows what could happen. Byakuya might actually accept his love. What was he thinking though? It was Byakuya he was thinking of, that would never happen, and for a number of reasons. He was beginning to think though, that it would just be better to tell him, it was painful keeping it all inside.
He sighed, thinking how pathetic he was. Anyone who knew those thoughts would think the same. Tomorrow, everything would remain the same. He never thought he would ever get the courage to tell him his feelings, and life would go on as it usually does. The unrequited love, as painful as it was, would just have to continue…