Here's something I did for Quizilla last year, with the username x-Loveless-x. (My other account name is ForbiddenSnowflake666 - it has Brian Molko FanFiction; Not slash though) I don't really know why I wrote this, but it took about a week, I think, and it was fun. Gawd, I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I think everything justifies itself though...

Disclaimer: I do not own Underoath, or the Warped Tour, or anything else mentioned in this story.

He was breathing heavily, pure confusion in his eyes. This wasn't like him; he usually had control over himself.

"W-why is he doing this? Does he have no other joy in life? I didn't take drugs on the bus with him , I swear-"

"I believe you," I interrupted him. "You're right. He shouldn't be allowed to do this."

I had expected his breathing to calm, and for him to calm down considerably, but if anything, it got worse.

"I-I mean, he can't just say that on stage in front of that many people. I-I just... I-"

Oh shit. He was starting a panic attack. His face reddened due to fresh tears and being unable to breathe.

"Stand up!" I shouted. "I need you to stand up. And straight."

When he did nothing I seized him and pressed his back to my chest, placing one hand on his stomach and the other on his chest.

"Okay. You have to breathe out. Just a little. If you don't breathe out, then you won't be able to breathe in. C'mon, you can do it."

With effort, he breathed out, just the tiniest bit.

"Good. Now don't try to take in too much air. Short breaths until you regain control. That's it..."

Slowly, his breathing calmed. Unconsciously it seemed, my hands moved, stroked, ever so slightly. I had never been so close to Spencer before, and I enjoyed the feeling. I dreamed that one day he would know how I felt about him. But he could never know. It would ruin everything.

I thought of Jamie as I held him like this, my girlfriend. Fiancée. That's what made my feelings for Spencer even worse. I loved Jamie, but it seemed like nothing compared to how I felt about Spencer. I proposed to Jamie to try and get away from him, but I knew now that I couldn't truly do that without leaving the band. Being the only original member left, I didn't really want that to happen.

Leaning up as far as I could, I rested my chin on his shoulder, and turned my face to his ear.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

I felt him shake, and heard the breath catch in his throat, as if he had not expected me to be so close to him. His muscles tensed, as though he had just realised where my hands were.

"Y-yes," he muttered. "Thank you."

"No problem," I said, lips accidentally brushing his ear. His eyes closed, and he shook again. "I'm gonna go get you a flannel."

"N-no."

His hands clasped over mine, and he pulled them firmly around him. I frowned slightly, wondering why he did this. Still, I held him without question, wondering if I should take it further.

"You alright?" I asked again.

He didn't answer. Maybe he was thinking about it, perhaps wondering why he had tightened my grip on him, as was I.

I decided to take a chance that could ruin everything. His neck was so close to my face, slender and supple, white. I could see the veins, the beginning of his jaw, and it drew me in. I couldn't have resisted for much longer. I pressed my lips to it, hearing Spencer sigh and tilt his head back further. His hands caressed mine and pressed them closer to his body. It turned me on, and I put more pressure into the kisses I was placing on his neck.

But I had to stop. I didn't want this turning into something we'd both regret by morning. If we didn't regret it already. Placing one final kiss to his neck, I eased myself away from him.

"We... we can't," I said weakly. I was practically giving up what I had yearned for for so long. "I... I don't want something to happen that we'll regret."

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was so close to having him, and now I was giving it up.

There was a look of hurt on his face, and sadness in his eyes. He took in a shuddering breath.

"Kiss me again," he said, a look of pleading in his eyes. "I... I just... please. I... I wanna forget about it all just for a while."

I tried to protest, lower regions not wanting me to.

"But... it'd be going against everything we believe in," I muttered, eyes closing and fists clenching at my side.

"You want it too. You think I don't notice you... staring at me with that look in your eye. You think I don't fully understand the meaning in the lyrics you write."

"You're not yourself right now. You... you don't know what you want," I said, more to myself than to Spencer.

"Please, Aaron... please... kiss me."

I opened my eyes to look into his. He had stepped closer, and I could see some deep emotion in his eyes. He took a step closer to me, as I stepped towards him. We got so close that our noses almost touched. I couldn't take it any more. I had waited too long for this opportunity, and didn't want to let it go that easily.

Tilting my head upwards, I captured his lips in mine, hearing his sound of surprise. I pulled away briefly before taking another stab at it. Our arms encircled each other as we got into the flow of things, and pulled us close to one another. I sighed in some sort of relief as I felt his body pressed up against mine, my heart aching with wanting him. I coaxed his lips apart with my tongue, hearing us both let out a sound of surprise.

Kissing Spencer was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I had kissed girls like this before, but never a man. Never this man. It was the same for him I guess. I was still so sure that he was going to regret this later, and mentally punish himself for letting this happen. But it was happening now, and he was happy. That's all I wanted.

Spencer's hands ascended to my head, massaging my scalp and stroking my cheek. I dragged us over to the sofa before I couldn't stand up any more. We sat at an awkward angle, kissing each other furiously, all the while wondering why and how this was happening. Gently, he started pushing me back onto the sofa, holding onto me as we fell into a lying position. His lips slowly left mine and began trailing down my chin, down my neck.

"No," I breathed. "We can't."

"Why?" he gasped ruggedly, lifting his head to look me in the eyes.

"We can't take it further. I... I don't want you to regret it, and for us to fall out. I... I care too much. About you. And our friendship. I don't want to see it broken."

I turned my head to the side, away from Spencer, a tear falling down my cheek. I couldn't tell him how much I cared. It would have a chain reaction and destroy everything about the band.

"It won't be broken," he insisted, wiping away my tears. "I won't let it break. But... wow, I don't believe I'm saying this. We've got this far, how much worse could it be if we took it further?"

This was coming from Spencer Chamberlain, lead vocalist of a strict Christian band. But... if it was what he wanted, and it made him happy, distracted him from other aspects of his life at the moment, I was willing to do it. I wanted it too.

"Okay... But not here. We can get out of here for the night, go to a hotel."

"Okay. We'll leave the other guys a note."

"Yes."

He sat up, pulling me with him, before standing up to find some paper and a pen. He scrawled down an excuse as to where we were going.

'Guys,

We've gone out to stay in a hotel and take a shower and stuff. We want to get away from the tour for a while, and forget about things said. We'll be back some time tomorrow morning.

From Spencer and Aaron'

"Will that do?" he asked, handing it to me so I could read it.

"Yeah. And it's more or less the truth."

"Okay, let's go."

I grabbed the keys to my MoPed and ushered Spencer off the bus after me. We sneaked around to where they were parked. Sitting down on the vehicle, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his head on my shoulder. This had to be my new favourite way of getting warm.

"And off we go," I murmured, accelerating.

And the next chapter is already here, if ya wanna read it...