Hi, this is my CCS fanfic and yes, it isa bitdepressing, but don't worry, it gets better. I do not own CardcaptorSakura, CLAMP,blah-de-blah-de-blah, but Amélie and her sister (the characters in chapter 3) are my own characters, so don't steal them!.Please R&R, also please PM me if i have made incorrect usage of -san, -chan etc. Enjoy! (or not)

Lost Hopes, Crimson Tears

Chapter One

Sakura Kinomoto sighed. The wind blew her once shiny brown hair about her shoulders as she stood before the huge shopping mall. It was here, fifteen years earlier, that she had attended middle school. Long ago the school had been knocked down and replaced. People jostled and pushed past her, not stopping to think of her plight. Her emerald-green eyes, their curiosity and sparkle long gone, filled with tears as she remembered all the friends she had had there. The only one she properly kept in contact with were Mei Ling and her best friend Tomoyo, though Yukito sometimes came to visit her big brother Toya. The smallest hint of a bump pushing over the waistband of her skirt, she patted her tummy, thinking of the tiny tadpole baby growing inside her. Syaoran Li, her partner and fiance-to-be had recently disappeared and she was filled with worry and angst, terrified of having to bring up a child by herself. She was twenty-five years old and had attended college but was still a little naive and felt lost without someone to guide her in this huge world. There was nowhere she felt safe any more - scared of small spaces, scared of wide open places with no walls, no boundaries. She had rented out the flat that she and Syaoran had lived in and gone to stay with Toya for a while. He wasn't too happy about this, having a very private life of his own, but he could not turn her away. At that moment the heavens opened. Sakura stood in the rain, looking up into the grey sky above Tomoeda. She stayed standing there for what seemed like eternity, herclothes sticking to her skin, her hair plastered to her head.

"Sakura, you klutz," Toya complained. Sakura had been out for two hours and had arrived back at his flat soaking wet, dripping all over the floor, a sadexpression on her face. She was standing shivering in the kitchen in her underwear with a towel round her shoulders while he stuffed her clothes into the washing machine."What were you doing standing out in the rain anyway?"

"Um, nothing. Thinking, I guess," she said sadly.

Toya sighed. "I have Yukito coming round soon, so stay out of the way, will you, squirt?" he said, using the name he had done since Sakura was a young child. He noticed the look in his sister's eyes and gave her a hug. "Ring up one of your girly friends. It'll cheer you up." He handed her the phone and walked out of the room. She dialled Mei Ling's number obediently and silently hoped she wouldn't be in, but she was.

"Hello?" said Mei Ling's voice.

"Hi..." Sakura answered half-heartedly.

"Hihi Sakura-chan! What are you up to?" Mei Ling said cheerfully.

Sakura sighed. Other peoples' happiness just seemed to put her down further. "Not a lot, really. I'm feeling down..."

"Tell me."

"Since Syaoran disappeared I'm so lonely. I feel...lost. And with this stupid baby on the way I don't know what to do. I wish I had Syaoran back to look after me. Can you help me, Mei Ling?"

"I don't know. Why don't you put adverts in the paper, stick posters on streetlights, that kind of thing? At least then if somebody spots Li they can tell you or something. I can't help your mood though. Ooh, maybe I can. Want to come round for ice-cream?"

Sakura brightened up a little. "Okay then. See you later. Thankyou for your help, Mei Ling." She put down the phone.

"Toya?" she shouted.

"Yeah?" came a voice from another room.

"I'm going to Mei Ling's," Sakura announced."Be back soon. Say hi to Yukito for me."

"Sure. Bye, squirt."

Sakura's face showed a hint of a smile, then she walked out the door, humming a tune as she went.

A while later she arrived at Mei Ling's, leaning on the wall while waiting for her to answer the door. She chewed at the nail on her thumb. Suddenly the door opened. She keeled over, nearly falling inside.

"Wahh! Sorry!" she said, standing up. Her cheeks flushed pink.

"It's okay. Come in," Mei Ling said.

Sakura walked down Mei Ling's hallway. It was painted red, decorated with elaborate wall hangings and paintings of Chinese dragons. There was a lamp with a tassel hanging from the ceiling. They walked into the kitchen and sat down at the round wooden table, where two bowls of strawberry ice-cream were laid out.

"So, Sakura...tell me more about your..." Mei Ling paused, searching for a word like a chatroom surfer. "...situation. Why do you think Syaoran disappeared?"

"I have no idea. He told me he was going to the superstore, but never came back...probably couldn't wait to get rid of me, not now I'm pregnant," Sakura said gloomily. She started to cry, silent yet sorrowful crying. Huge teardrops splashed onto the table. Mei Ling put her arm round her friend, pitying her. "It's okay, Sakura. We'll find him somehow, me and you and Tomoyo."