Post 3.01 & ahead. NALEY, but core 5 interaction. What do you do when the love of your life decides not to love you back? Haley's trying hard to figure that out during a messed up Senior Year with Brooke and Lucas as her best friends and Peyton being the other one who won't cut her slack for leaving town.

First things first: I gave someone very special the idea of this story, but the outcome wasn't what we expected because she couldn't find the time to write it. So, with this person's blessing, I'm revamping the whole thing.

The story: Everything that happened until 3.01 happened, but it's AU from there. That's probably all you need to know since the first chapter explains a lot. But I'm also telling that it'll go years in the future.
As another author pointed, I'll be invoking the dread tour of contrivance but in this story, Haley won't regret it and she'll look at it and be proud despite its consequences.

One more thing: The school shooting won't have happened during the first chapter and won't happen. I'm a believer that life's full of tragedies already and we don't need to add more.

Flashbacks are in italics.

Chapter 1

Two months touring around the country can get you to see life in a new and revamped perspective that you might not love immediately, or ever.

You have a dream, you choose to follow it and period. It's in your nature to be naive; to believe people who love you will support you unconditionally and still be there for you when you need their shoulder to cry in the middle of the night after a disastrous performance that you wish you could take back. You also believe the ones who claim an undying love for you will welcome you with open arms by the time you go back home.

Well, you're wrong. Not only that, but you had to learn it the hard way. And if only you could take it all back...

"Grhhh..., shut up already" An angry and unrecognizable black-haired Haley told her conscience. She was holding her guitar, trying to focus on coming up with a new melody for her latest angry lyrics, but her lovely mind wouldn't give her five minutes of peace and quiet. The "what if's" kept annoying her 24/7, preventing her from focusing and even reaching that serene state of slumber she could only find in Nathan's arms.

Sitting on the couch of the "Brookified" apartment she had once shared with her estranged husband, the man who'd left a scar in her heart that wasn't planning on healing anytime soon, Haley cursed herself and dropped her guitar to the floor. She knew she couldn't go back in time and she was more than sure she wouldn't, if given the chance. She had loved the tour despite its unfortunate consequences and no one would take her sense of pride about it away from her, no matter how hard they tried.

In her heart, she knew she had hurt Mr. hotshot Scott badly. She had realized too late that she could have asked him to tag along, and that was the only thing she thought of as a mistake. It was the one thing she regretted, but she had to look past that. In order to fix things for herself, she had to look ahead. If only he'd have given her the time of the day before pronouncing the six memorable words...

"Talking to yourself again, roommate? You know, when P. Sawyer told me she was seeing her goth self about a month ago, I though she was crayyy-zy" Brooke sing-songed, making the funniest gestures to illustrate her statement as she emerged from the bedroom. "But now that you're embracing the idea, I'm starting to think it's a new trend." With those words, she came to a halt in the middle of the living-room, opening her mouth widely and covering it as if she'd had a brilliant idea. "Maybe I should do it too". She whispered. "You know how I hate to be the last one wearing the newest Prada bag".

Haley chuckled, amused by Brooke's antics. This was the same cocky cheerleader that she was telling her best friend not to date the year before, when she was a Peyton shipper. Now, not so much... Fact was that by now, she was indeed defeated, tired of trying to find ways to talking to Nathan, who clearly wouldn't dedicate to her a few minutes of his precious time, but she was beyond pissed off with Peyton and her quasi-witty slash unfunny remarks.

"Do we have to talk about the elephant in the room? Can't we jus' kill her?" Haley let out, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"Nah..." Brooke shook her head. "I'm back to liking her now." She pointed out playfully.

"I'm dropping the subject now." Haley said, avoiding any sarcastic and mean comments that were inspired by Peyton herself.

"So soon? That's not the Haley I know. Little miss potty-mouth, go to the end of the world to win a battle." Brooke was joking, but Haley knew there was some truth to it. At least when it came to the old Haley.

"That Haley's absent and her return is yet to be determined." Haley laid down abruptly, sulking with everything in her.

"Oh no, no, no and no. You're not sulking. I won't allow it. You've been doing too much of that lately. Come on, Haley." Brooke whined, tapping her foot on the ground. "For the first week of school, you conditioned yourself to wake up, go to school, drool at Nathan all day long trying to get his attention, which was pathetic, if I might add, and then you'd go to work and come here to have fun with Luke, Skills, Fergie, Mouth, me and whoever showed up for those late night booty-calls. Now you wake up when it's not even five am yet, and don't think I haven't noticed, leave to God knows where, go to school, disappear AGAIN to God knows where at lunch, go to work, come home, shower and go to bed. You don't talk, don't socialize, barely touch your guitar and when you do it's to play something dark, dropped the cheerleader squad you had barely joined. Do you think that's healthy?"

"You should be happy I'm showering". Haley spoke, with the blankest expression, watching Brooke crossing her arms to her chest.

"I'm not kidding, girly. This thing you're going through, it's sad." And she threw her arms in the air in frustration. "I get it. You want to change things and you feel powerless, but you can't go back and I know---"

"Don't take it the wrong way, but you know nothing, Brookie". Haley commented, without letting her emotionless expression alter. "Everyone thinks I feel sorry for myself, but I don't. I did what was best for me at the time. I followed a dream and I wouldn't trade it for the world. There was just a fault in my plan and that was the fact that I used the wrong approach to pursue what I wanted. You know, as much as I don't regret embarking on the tour, I shouldn't have acted the way I did with Nathan and I should have asked him to come with me. But you know what? I'm done considering that. The implications of asking those questions all the time are driving me insane and taking me nowhere just like fighting for the last months have done to me. Seriously, I'm starting to convince myself that if he really loved me as much as he said he did, he'd try and understand. By now, he'd be able to forgive me for leaving him behind".

"Don't go there, Hales." Brooke approached her, taking a seat on their 1970's couch, as Lucas teased them. She was now accommodated with Haley's head on her lap, caressing her friend's head soothingly. "You know he still loves you. We all now it. Besides, he told you that, didn't he?"

"Oh sure, almost five months ago, when he left to go to High Flyers. Right before he decided not to pick up the phone, answer my letters, tell me he was back in town, ditch me at the end of the summer beach party, let the jealous mean girls try to destroy me in public, pretend not to know me at the Halloween party at TRIC ... Do I really need to go on? Or have I made myself clear? Don't you see a pattern?"

"Have you planned anything else for the near future? Have you thought about talking to him once again? We could lock him somewhere and only let him out once you've spoken or done ... hmmmm." Brooke smiled, mischievously.

"Oh, please. Haven't I tried enough? A month ago, I did some thinking and considered leaving this town for good since there's not much for me in here anymore, but I decided against it. It's not gonna bring me any benefits. I lost my spot on the tour, I have no desire of spending the rest of the year in the RV with my parents, I don't wanna go dance in a slut bar with Taylor and I still plan on going to University. So don't worry. I'm not gonna leave you hanging with rent. I'm sticking around for the long haul. Even if the long haul ends in less than eight months."

"I'm so not worrying about that."

"Yeah, I know. It was just a reminder. Finally, when we end Senior Year, I'm packing my bags and leaving this place with a one way ticket. Although I suppose I'll still stop by to visit Luke, Keith and Karen. You, on the other hand, I'll be seeing in Hollywood or somewhere as amazing, but from my television. Or maybe I'll hear Joan Rivers interviewing a celebrity who's gonna say she's wearing Brooke Penelope Davis."

"You think so highly of me." Brooke smiled, patting her own on the shoulder "Back to the original subject, you're done trying with Nathan? Did I hear you correctly?" She continued, with a more serious tone.

"Done? I don't think there's a way of being done with him. I love him, and it's cliché, but I always will. It's just that lately, I'm sensing that ship has sailed." Haley closed her eyes, breathing deeply and allowing a tear to come out. Still with her eyes shut, she went on. "I've tried everything I never thought I was capable of. I ended up in his bed and he told me I needed to leave. Can you picture such a scene? It was way more than humiliating. I don't think I ever felt so stupid so I promised I'd never try and be something I'm not again because the outcome was way more than messy. And if you tell someone that, I'll---"

"Your secret's safe with me". Brooke compromised, knowing too well how embarrassed her friend must have felt.

"Thanks, Brooke. I never thought I'd be pouring my heart out to you. Don't take it wrong, but I was a girl who only had male friends. And to finally answer your question, I'm gonna stay here for the rest of the year, do everything I have to do regarding school and I'll give Nathan the space he emphasized he needs".

"Emphasized?"

"This last month, he's made a point not to look at me every time I walk the school hallways, but whenever he does, by accident, he sends me pity looks. I think I miss the glorious first week of classes, when he glared at me or sent me nasty glances. Now, when he directs his gaze at me, it's like he wants to let me know he feels sorry for me, still has no desire of talking and that he's not ready to discuss our--- never mind".

"Yours?"

"I can't call it a relationship, weather it's to discuss the end of it or not. It requires two people to form a bond or the relationship itself and ours has his anger and me. So, whatever it is that we have, you name it 'cause I have no reason to do it and can't figure a name for it. By the way, he's made it clear I should keep my distance and that's what I'm doing. I told him, the only time we talked, after he returned from camp, that I wasn't going anywhere and that I was going to fight for him. He practically begged me to stay away and said he wasn't as understanding as he should be. When I opened my mouth to plead with him, he brought up the D word". Haley was now speaking of it in the saddest way but still naturally and that scared her, a lot.

Brooke gasped. She couldn't make sense of Haley's words and feared her friend would break down if she asked her to repeat what she had just said. There was a moment of silence until Haley started laughing, bitterly.

"Congratulations. You have just managed to portrait my reaction. It was the perfect reenactment. It's like you were there when Nathan said he'd looked into a divorce". Haley admitted, trying without success to keep the new tears from wetting her eyes. "I was lost. It was the second week of school, when I needed his support the most to battle those creepy glances from people that don't even know me and yet offend me whenever they have the chance."

"Are you sure you're talking about the same Nathan who's hit a brick wall because he missed you so much?"

Haley sighed, whipping her eyes with her shirt and sitting down, facing Brooke.

"I'll tell you what happened with the juicy details. But again, you have to keep it to yourself, deal?"

"Deal". Brooke nodded, assuring Haley she wouldn't say a word.

"Wh-What are you saying?" She asked, looking into his piercing blue eyes, hoping he'd take back his hurtful words.

"The State says we have to be separated for a year."

"Nathan, I love you. In a year from now, things will be good for us again. I'm not going anywhere and I'm willing to keep on fighting, but you have to meet me halfway, Nathan".

"I don't think so. I think we're better of this way."

"You can't be serious. It's a sick joke you're playing. Can't you just wait and see how things are going to be in a year from now? Can't you try and let me in? I can't destroy your walls by myself."

"I'd rather make a clean break. Start new from now on".

She stayed put, afraid of moving because her legs were shaking; staring at him with those big brown eyes, she was begging for him to say everything would be ok for the two of them and that they were worth the fight. He never did.

"I'm gonna..".

"Yeah, I'll walk you home". He told her, sternly, almost upset.

"No, it's cool. I'll... I'd rather go alone".

"It's late, Haley. Let me do this for you".

She half-smiled, but not genuinely. The irony implied in his action felt like a punch to her stomach. The second one that night. The millionth one that year.

"Really, it's not necessary. I'll... I'll see you around." And she turned, breathed with all of her remaining strength and was about to walk away when he gently grabbed her wrist.

"Haley, I'm going with you. I won't let you walk by yourself. It's not safe".

She held her gaze ahead of her and didn't look back for a what seemed to be an eternity but was only a few seconds. She was too wrapped up in the electricity his touch was spreading all over her body until she finally snapped. Turning back, she faced him as if he had taken the rug from underneath her.

"You'll go with me today and then what? You think I'll never walk home alone after 9 o'clock? You think I'll call Brooke, Lucas or Mouth or Skills everytime I need to go to the library after work? Or that'll I'll have someone escorting me home after my late night shifts? It doesn't go like that. They have their own lives to take care of and so do I. And I promise you I can take care of myself. I've been doing it before I met you and for the last months. Plus, worrying about me being safe doesn't help your clean break". She was telling him, in a bitter tone, until he interrupted her.

"Haley---"

"Let me finish, please". She spoke, softer "If I don't say it now, I'm not sure I'll have the guts to say what I have to. And who knows when you'll be willing to give me two minutes again?"

"Haley---"

"Please, Nathan".

And from that moment on, he didn't utter a single word because he knew he wasn't planning on talking to her in the following months, or maybe ever.

"Since I came back, I've been doing everything by myself, I've been all alone most of the time and I've been coping well with it because I thought it was temporary. Apparently, once again I was wrong. It's a permanent arrangement and I might as well start getting used to it".

He looked down into her eyes, pity showing in his face, but he never let go of her wrist.

"And I don't need you to look at me like that, to feel sorry for me. You're doing what you believe is best for you, like I did sometime ago, and I've tried unstoppable to make you see it's not the proper choice like you once did, but then again, just like you, I've failed. It's as they say: I made my bed and I laid in it, but I suppose, contrary to people's belief, I paid more than I should have, and I still am. From this moment on, I'll be going my way. I'll please you and set you free to go yours. Let's cut all ties if that's what you want. It hurts me more than you'll ever know or think possible, but I can't keep a battle on my own. Someone's gotta give and I guess we know who's gonna do it. ...But Nathan, I'm not gonna stand here and tell you I'll be your friend because I won't. Either you are my husband or you're not part of my life at all. You deserve to be happy and I wish you find your reason to make life worth it even if I'm not it, but I don't have to stick around to watch you finding someone that'll take the place that belonged to me. There's only so much more pain I can endure". She took the deepest of breaths and felt as if her lungs were hurting her while her mind was yelling at her to stop speaking and to kiss him with all of her passion, but instead of paying attention to any of those, she went on. "I admit I'll still look for you in the crowds and admire you from afar... It'll have to be enough. I love you, I always will, but I'm starting to believe it's time to grant you your wish. It's time I let you go, for both our sakes and the remaining of my sanity. I hope you don't think of me as a loser who's given up as if you weren't worth it. I'd rather you remember me as someone who only respected your requests because I knew you were done with us and there was no changing your mind". He dared interrupting, but she raised her finger to his lips, asking him to let her finish. He complied. "I can't move mountains, Nathan. But if I could, I'd have done it without thinking about it." Her lips were quivering. "I've done everything humanly possible and I'm pretty sure of that. I don't regret it. It was all worth it and I'd do it again, but I suppose I know when to recognize loss".

Gently, she made him give up his hold on her wrist.

"Like I said, I wish you nothing but the best. Go to Duke, play Basketball, conquer your dreams and don't look back for a second, alright?"

"And that was it. My not so happy ending; My tragic and definitive goodbye. Anything else you want to know? Ask now before I decide to drop my sharing mood".

"I-I... I had no idea. I thought he'd come to his senses before we applied to college".

"Oh, according to him, he has already. He's figured out our marriage was a mistake. Or you didn't hear the lovely time capsule?"

"He said that when he was angry, Haley. Don't take that into account".

"Maybe so, but he still reiterated it when Lucas yelled at him for his words".

"Did Broody tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. I was waiting for him outside the locker-room and overheard their enlightening discussion. Lucas was a Gentleman and didn't bring it up, but I think he knows I was there. Bizarre as it may seem, it was good to listen".

"How come? How can you say that?"

"I'm still having a hard time letting go, but I'll get there at some point. Those words he said when he talked to me shattered my heart, but there was a little piece of me thinking he'd end up putting it back together before we graduated. But now, I highly doubt it. It should've been the death of me, but I think I'll be fine and come out alive. I'll overcome this and it'll make me stronger. Isn't this what popular wisdom says?"

"I really wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain."

"Oh, you're doing it already. You're listening and not judging. It's way more than enough".

"I'm here for you, no matter what."

"And I'm thankful for that, trust me. And now that I've explained myself entirely, will you please not ask me again to go back to your squad? I'm done trying to keep up with Basketball". Haley asked, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Oh, Tutor girl. I feel your pain. Why can't you feel mine? You're the perfect replacement for Rach-ho, P-LEASEEEE?" Brooke begged, playing along. Haley shook her head and stuck her tongue out, without giving Brooke's proposition a second thought.

The girls kept on talking, humoring each other, way too distracted to notice someone standing outside their apartment, at their front door, eavesdropping on their heart to heart conversation.

"Haley?"

"Yeah, B. Davis?"

"Since you're still sharing, can I ask you where you go when you wake up and why you do it?"

Haley stood up and offered her hand to Brooke, who accepted it and also got on her feet.

"Let's take a walk, shall we?" Haley questioned and as Brooke nodded, the outsider panicked and left their door.

45 minutes later

"I object." Brooke protested, irritated beyond belief. She took a break from their walk and Haley decided to give her a few moments, considering her high-heels and the current state of her feet. "I'm not rich anymore, Haley. I can't afford shoes like this all the time. Do you have any idea how much I paid for this? If I had known we were going on a girls scout mission to conquer the woods, I'd have worn proper shoes." As Brooke kept complaining, Haley got lost in a daze, watching the river and those memorable docks... Brooke realized it and went on mute. She tried reading her companion, but she was more preoccupied with the ache in her left foot. She bent down to check it, when Haley finally recovered her senses.

"Can we never, ever use the word object again?" Haley suggested, in her best persuasive tone. "Let's leave it for lawyers to protest".

"Tutor girl, you're one weird little creature. Care to elaborate the grief against a WORD?"

"I'm telling you way too much today. Don't get drunk, Brooke. And if you do, remember the words Peyton Saywer. Gossip about her dirt and not mine, ok?"

"But I don't gossip when I'm drunk."

"Of course not. I forgot you're a mean drunk. Ravens party at the Scotts last year. Need I say more?"

"How many times are you gonna make me apologize for that? I thought I was forgiven when I sent you and the one who shall not be named on the perfect date". Brooke resumed their walk.

"Fine, I forgave you. I was just bugging you. It's kind of funny, actually. But back to the word object, I had a crazy dream the other day, not to say nightmare. We were on Court, finalizing my divorce, when I told my lawyer to say I was not going to sign anything because I was madly in love with my husband, but he idiot kept quiet and I started screaming I object like a patient of a mental house. You don't know how glad I was when I finally woke up".

"That sucks, Hales. Big time."

"Yeah. That's when I started leaving the apartment every morning in the first place".

"Are we almost done?" Brooke questioned, looking once more at her feet.

Haley glanced around, appreciating the view before answering. She focused on her little table, with the two benches opposite one another. Her mind drifted away, going back to those distant days she missed so much. After a while, she turned to Brooke and smiled, a smile Brooke hadn't seen in the longest of times.

"We're here". She declared, nodding her head.

Brooke watched her friend, dumbfounded, and she wasn't sure of the reason, but she knew that place held something special. At the same time, she was aware her friend had taken her there to tell her why and she simply knew better than to re-start bombarding Haley with questions. She'd let her do the whole thing in her terms and own time.

It was then that Brooke took the upper hand and went to sit on one of the benches. Haley hesitated, twice, before following. It was a sacred place for her and she'd always go there, but wouldn't approach the table. That was officially the first time she'd do it since she was back in Tree Hill.

Enjoying the breeze, she took the remaining seat. She cleared her throat and started telling her roommate and confident what was it about that little hidden spot.

Meanwhile, the same outsider that stood in front of their home watched them, wishing badly to have the chance to hear what was being said.

A/N: I hope you don't find it disappointing 'cause it's the first time I've attempted to write a fic. Also, English's not my first language and therefore. Thanks in advance and feel free to leave me any feelings you might get when reading this.

S.A