Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is the property of MGM and Syfy, not me.

A/N: This story is not a romance, but to be fair, I should warn you that there are heavy amounts of D/V UST in later chapters. There are also slight mentions of S/J and C/C, but they're so slight you'll miss them if you blink. Anyway, on with the story.

A Terrible Mistake
By CountryPixie

Chapter One

Cam sighed as he took another look around the gate room. Was he imagining it, or was the SF in the left corner looking a bit too amused? He glanced at the other SF – oh, yeah, they were definitely too amused. Before he could decide on a suitable punishment, Cam's eyes fell on Teal'c and Sam. Maybe it was a little funny.

Teal'c was probably the only person in the galaxy who could look intimidating while wearing a purple zoot suit. Underneath the signature knee-length jacket was a white shirt and a light silver tie. The silver shoes and top hat completed the outfit. Teal'c looked uncomfortable, but Cam knew it was more because he was only allowed one zat than because of his apparel.

Sam, on the other hand, looked like she would gladly use her one hidden zat to shoot the next person who looked at her. Her red flapper dress came just below her knees and had a large black diamond pattern on the chest. The dress wasn't too bad, but the headband with the huge black feather was. Still, Cam suspected that the high heels were the real reason behind her current mood.

Just as Cam was starting to sympathize with the SFs, he remembered what he was wearing. His dark gray suit was lined with vertical light gray stripes; his shirt was a light silver, and his tie a bright red. He wouldn't have a problem with the suit, but the hat and shoes matched his tie. Cam was just waiting for the "There's no place like home" jokes.

"This had better be worth it," Cam muttered to no one in particular. All he got in return was a glare from Sam and a nod of the head signifying agreement from Teal'c. And was that a snort from one of the SFs?

"…supposed to blend in, Vala. You're going to stand out like a sore thumb!"

"I saw some dresses like this on your Internet. I simply made some minor modifications to what I was given."

"You can't do that, Vala," Daniel was saying as they entered the gate room.

Cam took in the sight of his tardy teammates. Daniel was wearing a black zoot suit with a white tie and black and white shoes. His hat was black with a white band. Right behind Daniel was Vala, who was wearing…not much.

"Whoa, little lady! That is not what you were issued for this mission," Cam said.

"You like it?" Vala asked, twirling around to show it off. The sleeveless dress was all white, as was the feather in her headband over her short black wig. She had a black boa draped over her arms, a black clutch purse, and her black heels must have been four inches high. The real problem with the outfit, however, was that the dress barely made it down to mid-thigh. No, scratch that. Upper thigh.

"Would someone please tell her she can't go as long as she's dressed like that?" Daniel asked, clearly at the end of his rope. "We're supposed to be flying under the radar here, and she's going to attract attention."

"Jealous, darling?"

Cam stepped in before the bickering could escalate. "Look, we can't afford to miss our contact. We don't have time for a wardrobe change. Vala, where's your zat?"

"In my purse, silly. I couldn't very well strap it to my thigh," Vala answered.

"You could if you were wearing what you were supposed to," Daniel quipped.

"I am the one who has experience with this type of business. Trust me, a good outfit can be better than a weapon sometimes. In this case, I have both."

"A good outfit being one with as little material as possible," Daniel said sarcastically.

Cam blocked them out. "Walter, dial it up."

"Come on, Sam, lighten up," Cam said as he nudged her arm with his elbow. "It's not every day we get to infiltrate the equivalent of a 1920s gang."

Sam looked as if she wanted Cam to burst into flames right there. "I notice you're not the one wearing ten pounds of makeup or going through the gate in three-inch heels."

"Could be worse."

"How?" Sam asked, not expecting a good answer.

"Your dress could be shorter than Vala's."

"I do not believe so, Colonel Mitchell. If the dress were to be any shorter, it would be considered a shirt," Teal'c chimed in.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Cam agreed as the wormhole stabilized. "Okay, team, remember: don't reveal your weapons unless there's an imminent threat of capture or death. Teal'c, Sam, and Vala have the zats; Jackson and I each have a 9 mm. We separate as soon as we're through the gate – Jackson and Vala, me, Teal'c, and Sam. Radio silence until 1600 hours or an emergency. If all goes well, we'll be back in time for dinner. I have it on good authority they're servin' roast beef," he finished with a grin.

Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c all nodded, while Vala asked Daniel if he'd take her out for dinner.

"All right, let's move out."

The walk up the ramp was a little different in dress shoes, and Cam was starting to understand why Sam was so upset. If his bright red shoes made him miss his boots before leaving the planet, heels would make Sam's behavior positively saintly.

The planet he emerged on was like most of the planets they visited – lots and lots of trees. The only difference was that beyond some of those trees was a large trading village with a less than honorable reputation. SG-3 had run into some trouble on a formerly friendly planet, but some of the natives had revealed that the trouble came from this planet. The Odyssey had been sent to do surveillance, and when the pictures showed a Roaring Twenties culture inhabiting a village from the 1800s, Daniel had insisted on going. SG-1 was to find out what was going on that held so much power over other planets. Hopefully they'd be able to contain the problem before it spread much further.

"1600 hours. Let's try to stay out of trouble on this one," was all Cam said before he, Teal'c, and Sam went off to the left, and Daniel and Vala went straight ahead.

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"Daniel, please!" Vala begged.

"No! I am not going to carry you! You shouldn't have worn such ridiculous heels."

"I was issued these heels. Weren't you the one saying that we have to wear what we are given?"

Daniel sighed again. They still had at least a mile to go before they reached the village, and it wasn't Vala's fault she was wearing heels. Daniel glanced over at his partner, noting that she really did appear to be in pain.

"Fine," he huffed.

"What?" Vala asked, certain she was hallucinating.

"Get over here before I change my mind."

Within seconds, Vala was standing in front of Daniel, looking at him expectantly. Gathering that she expected him to carry her in his arms, he simply rolled his eyes, turned around, and crouched down.

"What are you doing?" Vala asked.

"I'm not carrying you in my arms for a mile," Daniel explained. "You're lucky I'm even willing to do this."

"Darling, we're supposed to be partners, hence the matching outfits. What kind of person would carry his partner like that?"

"A normal one!" Daniel responded as he stood up and turned to face Vala.

"If we were to be seen by any villagers in such a position, it could arouse suspicion as to the validity of our identities."

Coming dangerously close to the end of his rope, Daniel opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it when he heard a noise in the woods to the left of the trail. A quick glance at Vala told him she had heard it too. Before they were able to take cover, a man stumbled out from behind a tree with his hands held up, trying to show that he was no threat.

"Please, listen to what I have to say. Your friends are in great danger."

"Our friends?" Daniel asked. He could see Vala put her hand in her purse in case she needed her zat.

"Yes, three of them. They were to meet Tyron in the village, but the village already knows of their presence. Your friends are walking into a trap."

Daniel moved to alert his teammates on the radio, but the man stopped him. "They are already under surveillance. If you contact them now, you will only serve to expose your positions."

"Who are you?" Vala asked.

"I am called Neiram. Please, follow me."

"Wait a minute," Daniel said quickly, "we're going to need a little more to go on here."

"I will explain soon, but we must move quickly. Search parties looking for you have already been dispatched."

Daniel looked at Vala to see what she thought; she shrugged, and he repeated the motion a second later. "All right. Lead the way."

The cell Cameron found himself in when he woke up was eerily similar to one found on a Goa'uld mothership, with the exception that the door had been replaced by bars. His headache intensified as he tried to imagine who was responsible and could think of no one.

"Sam? Teal'c?" he called out.

Sam's worried voice answered him. "Cam! Thank God! We were afraid you'd been taken somewhere else."

"'We?' Teal'c's here?"

"I am, Colonel Mitchell."

"Jackson and Vala?"

"We are unaware of their location."

"What the hell happened? Where are we?"

"Not sure, but judging by the architecture, I'd say we're being held in a Goa'uld facility," Sam said.

"Yeah, thought so. Any ideas whose old stompin' grounds these are?"

"No, and there's no way of knowing while we're stuck in here. I've been trying to override these controls, but I'm not having any luck."

"Well, someone should be by soon now that we're all awake." Cam's words had no sooner left his mouth than the door to their cell block opened and three men stepped inside. They each made their way to a cell and dragged the occupant out. Cam was glad to see that Sam and Teal'c were both as unharmed as he.

"Howdy, boys. Ya know, if you wanted to meet us, you could have just invited us to dinner." The men said nothing as they began to drag their prisoners out of the cell block and into the hall. Cam gave up on trying to goad his captors into making a mistake as he devoted his full attention to memorizing the route they took and any connecting hallways. The only thing out of the ordinary in the room they were eventually led into was the five empty throne chairs that looked as if they had been taken straight from a Ha'tak. Cam felt his heart sink as he recognized the symbol above the chairs.

"Is that –?"

"Ba'al's mark," Teal'c ground out.

A/N: Like it? Don't like it? So horrible I need to go jump off a cliff? So amazing I should be given a parade? Or somewhere in the middle, like...worthy of a review?