He stands looking in the mirror, tears streaming down his face as he tries to decide whether it is worth all of this pain or not. He starts crying, knowing that if he does this he will leave Cas and Sam both behind, He is in love with Cas and cares a lot about Sam. He just doesn't want to deal with the pain anymore of everyone talking down to him because he is in love with a guy, he just love's Cas and he can't control it. He looks down at the gun that he set on the sink. He grabs the gun looks into the mirror, takes a deep breathe, puts the gun below his chin, closes his eyes and pulls the trigger. His body falls to the ground, lifeless.
Cas and Sam both here the gun look at each other "Dean!" They yell as they run to the bathroom, to find Dean lying on the floor, gun on the floor next to his body, by his hand he used to pull the trigger. Cas gets to Dean first and grabs a hold of Dean's lifeless body in his arm's crying. "Dean…." he says through tears. Sam kneeling right next to Cas crying. Cas leans down and puts his forehead on Dean's and cry's the tears falling onto Dean's face.
He lays limp in Cas' arms, but his brain flashes moments of him and Sam as kids enjoy at Christmas time when he got the amulet around his neck, the year they went out on the fourth of July and set off a bunch of fireworks that light the sky, and the field.
Soon after the Sam and Dean Memories end, all the moments he had with Cas pop in his head. The very first time Cas tried to be an FBI agent, and everything just went horrible, but He was able to keep it together. The time they went to stripper building, hours before holding Cas' brother Raphael hostage. The very first time they kissed, When Dean leaned in and laid one on Cas who didn't fight back. The first time they had sex, one of his greatest memories. He remembers the latest time they had sex where he actually made the angel to sore to walk.
Dean's body lied in Cas' arms as Cas cried, the tears falling onto his Dean's face. As each tear hit Dean's face the more life Dean had in him, neither Cas nor Sam noticed that Dean was coming back to life. When Cas' had cried all he could he looked over to Sam. "Can I have a moment alone with your brother please?" Sam nodded and got up and left the bathroom closing the door behind him. Once Sam left the room Cas looked at Dean, leaned down and kissed Dean on the lips with a soft long kiss, as he was kissing Dean, Cas felt the kiss being returned so he looked at Dean's eyes to see it was a live and started kissing him harder.
He was surprised to be alive after pulling the trigger but he knew it probably had to do with the guy attached to him at the lips. He didn't mind it because it was the man he loved.