A/N Hey everyone this is my very first fanfiction on this website. I want to put this out there and see what kind of reaction it would get. This is a BeChloe fanfic. This takes place 5 years after the USO tour. We open up at a broken hearted Beca Mitchell but I'm just going to let you read about it :) Make sure to drop a review so that I know if I should continue or not. If the reaction to this first chapter isn't good or just nonexistent I'll know that no one wants to read it.
Warning: There will be brief mentions of substance abuse and swearing.
After Chloe Beale, I was prepared to live the rest of my completely and utterly, alone. It wasn't that I wanted to live that way, I hated that that was what was ahead of me but I just couldn't imagine just brushing my feelings for Chloe off, like she had done. No. I was…am in love with her. Nothing will change that, despite how desperately I want it to.
I've been in love with Chloe since the moment I met her. Of course, I denied it up and down for a good 7 years, because I'm stupid. But I finally got the balls to tell her how I felt the night before we headed to the USO Tour. I'd never been happier in my entire life when Chloe responded by kissing me. God, it's still the best kiss I've ever had. Chloe was my best friend and the love of my life. How could I not be excited as fuck at the fact that she could actually love me back?
Well, I found out the trust the last night of the USO tour. I had just finished performing with the Bella's, I was on cloud 9! I had been talking to Emily for a little, but really there was only one person I wanted to see. After I escaped from Legacy I went in search of Chloe, but when I found her she was sucking face with freaking Chicago… Fucking asshat… When Chloe pulled away her eyes immediately met mine, and I saw it. I saw her leaving me, it was written all over her face before she even had a chance to utter her first word.
When she came up to me, I waited. I wanted to be wrong, god I wanted to be wrong. But that didn't happen. She told me she wanted to see where things went with Chicago.
She lifted her hand to touch my arm but I stepped out of her reach, "Don't fucking touch me." I screamed at her. It was the first time I'd ever said anything like that, where I actually meant it. I'd joked with her for years about not touching me or whatever, but in that moment I couldn't because with that one touch I knew I would forgive her and I wasn't ready to do that yet.
"You deserve happiness, Becs." Chloe's voice echo's in my brain. That was the last thing she said to me. That was the last time I saw her and that was almost 5 years ago. My heart still aches for her. I still find myself wishing I could tell her something or have her completely disregard my personal space and get up in my face with her adorable fucking smile and laugh. God, I miss her every day. I stopped being mad years ago. Now I'm just pathetic…
"Hey, earth to Mitchell." CR waved her hand in front of my face bringing me back to reality.
"Sorry…" I stammer as I refocus on the work we're supposed to be doing. "Where were we?"
"Well I was working on writing a song, you were off in lala land for a good 5 minutes." CR stated bluntly. "Where's your head at, Cap?"
"Nowhere, sorry I'm just a little stressed about tomorrow." I lied.
"Sure…" CR said, she seemed to be studying me but ultimately decided that she wouldn't push it. "So, what were you thinking about for this part here." She motioned toward the sheet music for the song they were working on.
"I thought we could keep it acoustic for that part before bring in the rest of the band." I explained. "It'll help keep the song interesting."
"Yeah, yeah I like that." CR nodded her head, she closed her eyes and hummed the song. I couldn't help but smile watching CR do her thing. Working with her was amazing! I was so grateful for her willingness to come with me when I opened my studio last year.
We continued to work for a good 5 hours and were able to wrap up the song. It would be the first single for CR's third album and I was so excited that she wanted me to work on it with her.
"Hey, so are you sure you're ready for tomorrow?" CR asked cautiously. She knew that I wasn't, but I put on a brave smile anyway.
"Hell yeah, it's not a big deal." I lied. I'm not sure if it was more for me or her.
"You don't have to do this," CR stopped and pulled my arm to stop me from walking without her. "We'd all understand if you didn't."
I gave a nervous laugh, "Please, Aubrey would kill me if I didn't go. You know that." I looked down at the ground, trying to steady myself. "Plus, I can't let something that happened 5 years ago stop me from spending time with my girls and celebrating the fact that Stacie and Bree are getting married."
After tomorrow night I knew that the next few months were going to be chockfull of the Bella's. Stacie had asked me to be her "Best Woman" for their wedding and I'd be damned if I let my pathetic-ness get in the way of her wedding. "I'm going to have to face her eventually anyway. Might as well be sooner rather than later."
Cynthia Rose seemed to be studying me again. "Look, I get you're my boss now and me talking about this could probably get me fired but Beca… You still love her, don't you?"
My eyes fell to the floor again as the words sank in. I tried everything short of climbing on the Hollywood Sign and screaming "I'm not in love with Chloe Beale" to convince everyone that I no longer had feelings for the redhead, but clearly it wasn't convincing enough.
"You're right, I should fire you." I deadpan. "I'll see you tomorrow."
With that, I walk out of the studio and am smacked in the face by the cool night air of LA. I couldn't help but smile at the noise and craziness that was going on around me, even at 10 o'clock at night. LA was different then New York City, but it was a good kind of different. I loved it here from the first time I actually walked the streets. It helped that I put almost 3,000 miles between myself and the woman that completely broke my heart… But It stopped being about that. It started being about my career here and about my passion, which has always been making music.
I turned around and smiled up at the sign just above the door to the studio. In big blue letters the sign said, "Barden Record's". I owed everything to Barden and to the Bella's. I know now that if it hadn't been for that damn school and those insane girls I wouldn't be standing here, in LA, the owner and head producer of my own studio. It was all because of those 4 years. (Not that I would ever tell my dad that…)
As I started walking down the street toward my apartment, I began to think about the year before, almost to the day actually, that I opened Barden Record's. A bunch of the girls had come out and we did a super cheesy ribbon cutting ceremony and got wasted… It was just like old times. I still can't help but laugh as I think back to Amy running in and telling me how much of a softy I was. I had kept the name of the studio to myself, until the opening party. Amy thought it was the sappiest thing I'd ever done. I honestly have to agree with her.
When I made the decision to leave Khaled's label I knew that I wanted things to be different. Opening Barden, I wanted it to be a place where I could give back to those who had changed my life, so I had an open-door policy for all Bella's and Treble Maker's. That if anyone, past or present members ever wanted to record and make music they were welcome to come and do it with me, the first song free. I wanted them to see that there was a way to achieve their dreams.
When CR came to me wanting to work with me, I happily accepted. She's been with me through everything! Even Emily had come to me asking if I'd take her on as an artist. That was the easiest yes, I've ever given.
I'm living my dream!
I was about 5 minutes from my apartment when my phone started to ring. I pulled it out and saw Stacie's name on my screen.
"Hey, Legs." I answered as I continued to walk toward my apartment.
"Hey, are you still at the studio?" Stacie asked.
"No, I just left. I'm walking home right now." I explain. "Why?"
"Oh, okay um have you talked to Em today?" Stacie seemed a bit off.
"Not since I left this morning." I explain. Emily and I have lived together since she moved to LA. I had a huge apartment, so it only made sense that she would come live with me.
"Okay so um don't freak out…" Stacie paused, like she was unsure how to say something.
"Dude just spit it out." I demand. "What the hell is going on?"
"So-Chloe's-kinda-staying-at-your-apartment-tonight-and-tomorrow-night." Stacie blurted out all in one breath. "Have I ever told you how much I love you and how you're my favorite person?"
I abruptly stopped walking as the words sank in. "No."
"Beca…" Stacie began.
"Absolutely fucking not." I said again with little to no emotion in my voice. "I know that I have to see her tomorrow and that's not really my choice but no, she's not welcome in my apartment."
"Beca please, I know that this is really shitty of Bree and I to ask this of you but…" Stacie began but I cut her off again.
"Shitty? You're damn right it's shitty!" I practically yelled. "Don't you remember when you had to practically pick up off of rock bottom 4 years ago because of her? Do you not remember how much she hurt me? God, Stacie I thought you had a little more respect and love for me then this!"
"Beca," Stacie began. "She had no where else to stay."
"Bullshit! This is fucking LA there's hotels on every block! What about with you guys? Or CR? Or literally anyone else!" I screamed. I totally was not mentally prepared for this shit… I knew that seeing her tomorrow was inevitable, but I thought I would at least have some time to mentally prepare before I was hit with an onslaught of emotions… Emotions that I never wanted to feel again. "Get her out of my apartment."
"Beca please just listen to me for a second, okay." Stacie's voice was calm. I didn't say anything, so she took that as I was listening. "Aubrey and I feel like you two need to see each other before tomorrow, to get things hashed out. I know that we shouldn't be messing with your life like this and I still have reservations about this but Beca, you're my "Best Woman" and Chloe's Bree's Maid of Honor. You two are going to have to work together. Please, you don't have to be friends, I'm just asking you to figure out how to be civil with her."
I had so many things going through my head right now. Emotions that I hadn't allowed myself to feel in over 4 years came flooding back to me. I looked up and could see the redbrick of my apartment building. Knowing that Chloe Beale was more then likely in there, sitting on my couch, eating my food, just being in my space, scared the shit out of me.
"I've never hated you more then I do right now." I stated with a cold voice, one that I wouldn't have recognized as mine if I didn't know that those were the only words I could say right now.
"I know." Stacie said, she sighed and I could tell she didn't know what to say to me.
"Don't ever do something like this without talking to me first, again." I demanded. "I'll see you tomorrow."
I hung up the phone, not allowing Stacie to say anything else. I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out.
You can do this. I tell myself. You're Beca Fucking Mitchell. You can do this.
With that I made my way the last few yards to my apartment. I reached my door within a matter of a minute and took another deep breath in, before unlocking the door and walking in.
The second I walked into my apartment I could smell something amazing. Then I heard her laugh… The sound that haunted my dreams at night. The sound I longed to hear so many times since it was suddenly ripped out of my life. In that moment I felt my heart break again. I had worked so damn hard to put it back together and now within a matter of a second it was completely shattered. I haven't even fucking seen her and still my heart is no longer in existence.
I robotically go through the motions of putting my keys on their hook, taking off my shoes and coat, I lock the door, and then I make my way further into the place I once felt like I was safe in. The further in I walked the more clearly her voice came in. She and Emily were talking, probably in the kitchen, which to my luck I would have to walk right past to get up the stairs and into my office, where I planned to spend the rest of the next two days.
Fuck… I mumble to myself as I hear Chloe more clearly.
"What time did you say she'd be home?" She asked. "I'm so worried she's going to kick me out or something. I mean, she has every right to after everything…"
"Please, Beca's a lot of things but she's not a jerk." Emily stated. "She should be home anytime now. But I never really know with her. She and CR could have had a breakthrough or something and are still working away. Don't worry about her, the worst thing she'll do is hide upstairs all day tomorrow."
I hate you Legacy. I thought to myself.
Again, I take a deep breath and walked into view of the kitchen. There she was, her back was turned to me but I would know that hair anywhere. Chloe Beale. Chloe Fucking Beale. I could feel my breath hitch in my lungs. It felt like I had a giant weight sitting on my chest and I could no longer breath.
I'm just going to ignore her. I think to myself. Yes, just act like she's not even here.
I walked into the kitchen and over to the fridge to grab a beer.
"Hey Becs." Emily greets cautiously. "How was your day."
"Fine." I say after I close the fridge. I know for a fact that there is no emotion in my voice. I can't let her know that I feel anything about her being here. I turn, and my eyes meet hers. They're the same brilliant blue they always have been. The weight on my chest seems to gain about 1,000 more pounds but I keep my face as neutral as possible. "I'll be in my office is you need anything, Em."
With that I make my way out of the kitchen and practically run up the stairs to my in-home studio. Once the door is closed I finally let out the breath I had been unable to release while in her presence. There was such a strong pain in my chest, where my heart should be. I can't help but kick myself, why did I still have to be in love with her? After everything she's done to me, I'm still so head over heals for her. If she asked me to, I'd forgive her in a heartbeat.
Next Day
I cautiously make my way out of my room, way earlier then I would under normal circumstances. But I need to get out of this apartment, so I've decided I'll just spend the whole day at the studio and just get ready for the Engagement party there as well.
Before I'm completely down the stairs, I stop and listen for even the slightest noise that would indicate she's awake and moving around. But there's nothing so I decide to take my chances and made my way down and into the kitchen. All clear.
I quickly turned on the coffee maker and grabbed a bagel from the fridge that I stuck in the toaster. I grabbed my shoes, while my breakfast made itself, and quickly put them on as well. I went back into the kitchen and grabbed my to-go thermos and poured the heavenly liquid into the container. Then I grabbed my bagel and slapped a little cream cheese on each side before I made my way out the door. I gave a sigh of relief as I made my way out of the building and onto the street. I turned toward the direction of the studio and started walking. I had my earbuds in and just bobbed my head to the song as I took small bites and sips of my food the whole way.
Once I reached the building, I happily walked in.
"Good morning, Ms. Mitchell." The young blonde at the front desk greeted.
"Mary, I've told you a hundred times, call me Beca." I smiled. "This whole Ms. Mitchell business makes me feel old."
"Right, sorry Ms… Beca." Mary caught herself. "Have a great day."
"Thanks. You too." I smiled again and made my way over to the elevator. I hit the button for the top floor and smiled. How had my life become so cool?
Once the doors opened at the top floor I walked out and was greeted by the girl sitting at the desk just to the left of my office.
"Good morning Beca," She smiled. "You're in early."
"Hey Rach." I smiled back. "Hey, I'm going to be here like all day but since it's Friday feel free to leave whenever."
"Thanks, Beca." Rachel smiled her bright smile. "Here is your schedule for today and your messages."
I grabbed both papers and looked through the messages. I noticed my dads name was on one of them.
'Thanks." I smile at her. "Just send Emily into my office when she gets here."
"Sure thing." The younger girl smiled. I made my way into the office and closed the door behind me. I flopped down on the small gray couch in my office and threw my feet up on the coffee table.
I quickly looked over the schedule and realized that I only had about two meetings today. That meant that I would get to spend the majority of my day in the studio, which I was totally okay with.
Emily was coming in today to talk about her newest song. It was going to be featured in the new Bumblebee movie, that Emily just so happened to be freaking staring in… I couldn't help but be so proud of the young Legacy.
Then later on that day a new artist that had just been signed would be coming in to set up a studio schedule for the next few months. I was probably going to be giving him over to CR but still felt like it was important to meet with the kid to make sure he knew that I wanted him here.
I had made a few phone calls and answered some emails. It was now around 9 and was about to go grab another cup of coffee when the door to my office opened.
"Hey, Becs." Emily called as she walked into the room. I smiled up at the young Legacy, but it quickly fell when I saw who was behind her.
"Hey, come on in." I plastered the smile back on my face. I had to get my shit together. I stood up and made my way over to where the couches were. I hated doing meetings across a desk, so I never did. I sat down on one of the grey arm chairs and Emily and Chloe sat on the couch directly across from me.
I pulled out the sheet music to the song I had been working on and passed it over to her. Emily studied the song for a moment before a giant smile spread across her face. "Beca, this is incredible."
"I sent it in to Paramount and they want you in the studio as soon as possible." I explain. I talked to Travis as well and he said he would love to come in for a session."
"Beca, this is going to be amazing." Emily's smile was so bright. "I can't wait to get in the booth and crush it."
I couldn't help but laugh at the use of the phrase. Amy always acted like she didn't like the young Legacy but everyone knew she secretly cared deeply for the girl.
"Great." I glance over at Chloe, who keeps looking in aw at the office. Her eyes are dancing across the whole space of the office, before they finally land on me. I can't tell what she's thinking, which is strange considering it's Chloe. Or maybe I just don't want to know. "Okay, so Travis said that filming would take another few months but he wants you to set at least one day aside for the next few weeks, so we can work on recording. I know you want to be but I don't really think you'll have time to be involved much in the production aspect of it. Obviously, we'll continue to talk about it and we can work on it at home, but I think your main focus should still be on the movie."
"Yeah, no that's totally fine." Emily nodded, her eyes still moving across the song. "Did Travis say what day he wants me to set aside?"
"He said that he can make either Tuesday's or Wednesday's work." I explain. Travis Knight was directing the movie and ever since they had began talking about Em doing a song for it I had been in pretty close communication with him. "Is there a day that would be better for you?"
"Well if we do Wednesday then wouldn't it interrupt you going to the meetings?" Emily asked. I could tell the words fell out before she even realized that she had just mentioned my meetings in front of Chloe, because the look on her face turned from exciting to fear.
"No." I simply stated wanting to end the conversation right away. I took a glance over at Chloe and I could tell she was curious what had just happened between the two of us, but it didn't look like she understood what Emily had just alluded to.
There was a total of four people, besides myself, that knew about my Wednesday night meetings. I'd been going to them for 4 years now. It had been a tough road, but I was grateful that I was able to get on it and stay on it.
Admitting that I was an addic… admitting that I had a problem wasn't something I wanted to do, not because I was ashamed of it, it was more of the fact that I was ashamed of why I began the problem. The reason why was sitting in this very office, completely unaware of just how messy my life got after she walked out of it.
"Okay, so do you want to do Wednesday's then?" I asked turning my attention back to Emily.
"Yeah, sure." Emily shot me an apologetic smile.
"Great." I said writing that down so that I wouldn't forget. "I'll call Travis and let him know so that he can get things moved around on his end. Next thing we need to talk about is the album. I know that it keeps getting pushed back due to this thing and that thing but I really think we should push to start it at the beginning of the year. You know after all the press shit for the movie."
We continued to talk for about an hour about her new album and different ideas and songs we both felt should go on there. By the time we had finished I could tell that Emily was so excited she was about to start bouncing off the walls.
"Beca, you're incredible!" Em squealed as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I hate hugs, but I gave her a quick pat on the back and let go. I smiled brightly at her as well.
"It's not me." I simply stated. "You're so talented, Em. I'm happy that I can help the world see that."
Finally I looked over at the giant, beautiful elephant in the room. "Has Emily shown you around the studio yet?" I ask, speaking for the first time to Chloe in over 5 years. My voice is strangely professional. I would have never talked like that her before.
Chloe shook her head, "No."
Then I turn to Emily. "Go show her around. I'd take you but I have a meeting in a little bit that I need to get ready for." I lied, my meeting wasn't for another three hours but I didn't want to awkwardly walk about the studio with them when Emily knew this place just as well as she did.
"Sure, I'd love to." Emily smiled. She grabbed Chloe's hand and practically dragged her out of my office. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
A/N Don't forget to review if you'd like to read more. If I don't get very many I wont continue. Thanks for reading!