Why didn't you tell me

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

By Robin Margolin

"Why didn't you tell me this place was a disaster area?" whined Tina Martinez-O'Farrell as she surveyed the post-breakfast cafeteria.  Half-emptied coffee cups and the remains of cheese Danish topped each table while napkins, spoons and other debris were strewn on the floor.

"I didn't think I had to.  You know what happens when the "Leap Alert" goes off," Donna Elesee gaily replied.

"I just wish Ziggy hadn't adopted the Star Trek 'Red Alert' noise for it," Beth Calavicci added.  She quickly assigned jobs, "Tina you bus tables, Donna grab a broom.  I'll start restocking the shelves."  It wasn't long before the room was spotless. 

"Now we can start decorating," Tina observed with glee.  As they worked, the colleagues chatted. 

"This looks like a relatively straight forward leap," Beth stated. 

"I'm glad Al is getting more comfortable with St. John," Tina said.  "It gives me the chance to be here to help you two."

"We do appreciate the help Tina," Donna replied avoiding responding to Beth's statement.  Each time her husband entered someone else's life was difficult for her.  Every second he was out there had far reaching repercussions. 

This party the ladies were decorating for is a case-in-point.   Donna remembered all too clearly the day three years ago when she found out about … her.

// "Why didn't you tell me about her?!?" Donna had screamed as she threw a personnel file at Al.  She had stormed into his office just the moment before.

Al glanced at the name on the file although he didn't have to.  No one else would upset Donna so badly.  He took a deep calming breath before answering.

"Dr. Fuller is highly qualified for the job, Donna."

"I should think so, considering her parentage.  When were you doing to tell me that SammiJo was Sam's child?  Why did you keep this from me?"  Donna's eyes spit fire at her husband's best friend.

"For just this reason," Al fired back.  "I didn't want to upset you any more than was necessary …"

"Necessary?" Donna almost laughed.  "Let me tell you something, Admiral.  This was necessary."

"You're right.  I should have told you before now.  Beth said you had the right to know."

"You ought to listen to your wife more often."  Donna stopped then as a horrible thought occurred to her.  She sank down into the chair she was standing in front of.  "Beth knows," she confirmed quietly to herself.  Addressing Al she asked, "Who else knows?"

"No one, honey," Al replied soothingly, as he would one of his daughters.  "No one but Beth, Ziggy and I." 

Donna wiped her tears before they fell.  "But I'm sure she…"

"No," Al interrupted, "SammiJo doesn't know who her father is.  She and her family still think Will Kinman is her father." 

"And Sam?  Does Sam know he has a daughter?"

"He did, once.  The next leap swiss-cheesed it out of his mind again."  Al sadly responded.  He studied the woman in his office.  "Donna, how about you take a few days off?  It's been too long since you've been topside," he suggested.

"You're right, I need some time to think," Donna conceded.  She changed her demeanor as she formally requested one-week leave. \\

"Donna, do you have to hog all the tape?" Beth teased.

"Oh!" Donna looked up from her memory, "Here's a second roll." 

As Beth took the tape from Donna's hand she searched her friend's face.  Realizing that she was being inspected, Donna smiled at her.  Sending a deliberate message with her eyes to 'not ask', Donna changed the subject.

"I wonder if Verbena will make it on time?"

Tina answered, "I'm sure she will."

Beth Calavicci began taping streamers to door and window frames.  While she worked her mind wandered back to another conversation, in this very room, with Donna Elesee-Beckett.

// "Why didn't you tell me you knew about SammiJo?" Beth asked Donna.  "I wish I could have been there to help you deal with this."  Donna had been back from her mini-vacation for a few days.

"I hope you know that I'm always here if you want to talk," Beth offered.

Donna managed a wry smile.  She'd been very aware when Michael Jarrett realized who his father was and added Calavicci to his name.  Beth's world had fallen in.  If anyone could empathize with her own situation it was Beth Calavicci.

"I just want to know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Manage day by day with the walking, talking reminder of you husband's infidelity around," Donna got out after a pause.

"Well, JC is not here all the time like SammiJo is," Beth began.  "I keep reminding myself that Al was swiss-cheesed from the leap and didn't remember being married when he slept with JC's mother."  Beth paused, waiting for her words to penetrate.

"I also remind myself that as Sam leaps about in time changing things for strangers he sometimes changes things for us, too.  There was a reality when I didn't wait for Al to come home from Viet Nam.  I divorced him in absentia and married someone else.  Sam changed that for us."  Here again Beth paused, waiting for her words to find their mark.

"I know that Sam has intervened in my life," Donna said.  "As Professor Bryant, he reunited me with my Dad before he left for Viet Nam.  I realized that soon after he first leaped."  Almost unbidden, a question came to Donna.  "Was there a different reality for Sam and me?"

"Does it matter?  SammiJo Fuller's existence has nothing to do with Sam's love for you," the older woman gently reminded her. 

"He doesn't remember me," Donna sighed.

"Hell, there are times he can't remember his own name," Beth laughed.  Despite herself, Donna did too.

"Just be glad SammiJo inherited her dad's brains and is using them here, to help him," Beth advised.

Donna smiled at the thought.  "Maybe she'll bring him home to me."\\

Beth smiled warmly at the memory.  It still smarts a little when JC is around but he's gotten to be good friends with her daughters and she could never begrudge Al his only son.

The rich alto of Ziggy's voice interrupted her thoughts, "Forgive the intrusion but Dr. Martinez-O'Farrell is needed in the Control Center."

"I'm on my way, Ziggy," Tina answered to the air.  "Sorry to leave you two in the lurch …"

"Don't think anything of it," Donna began.

"I'm sure 'Bena will be here soon." Beth finished. 

As if on cue, the cafeteria door opened and the project psychiatrist entered.  Verbena Beeks surveyed the room and then said, "This is really shaping up." 

"Here ya go," Tina passed a handful of napkins to Verbena as she passed through the door.  "I'll be back as soon as I can," the pulse-technician promised over her shoulder.

"I think they are going to love this," Verbena commented on the wedding bell shaped paper centerpiece that hung from the ceiling over the buffet table.  She began to place napkins in flower shapes below it.

"Well everyone should be fussed over at their wedding shower," Donna replied. 

"We certainly were," Beth added gaily.

Engrossed in her task, Verbena's mind wandered to a time when SammiJo thought she'd never be an 'everyone'.

// "Why didn't you tell me sooner?  I don't know what to think of this, 'Bena," the young woman had cried in her office.  SammiJo had just come from confronting Admiral Calavicci with the truth about Dr. Beckett, her father. 

"I've looked up to Sam Beckett my whole life.  He was my teenage idol, my celebrity crush.  Now he's my Father.  How do I deal with that?" she wailed.

Verbena waited a moment for SammiJo to calm.  "What did your mother say?  I know you called her from Al's office."

"What could she say?  She still refuses to believe my grandmother about 'Sam – the guardian angel'.  I didn't tell her about Dr. Beckett because PQL is a top-secret project.  But this does explain where I got my IQ and photographic memory."  SammiJo paused a minute.  Multiple emotions played across her face: anger, curiosity, pride, fear and finally aghast as a new thought occurred.

"Dr. Elesee!  How am I ever going to face her knowing what I know?  Oh God!  Does she know I'm her husband's child?"

"Yes, SammiJo, Donna has known for a while now," the psychiatrist responded.  "Perhaps talking with Dr. Elesee will …"

"I couldn't.  I don't think there's anyone on Earth who would understand about my parentage.  My God, I'm a Freak!"

Verbena was not about to let SammiJo use that word about herself.  "You are not a freak," the shrink calmly stated.

The physicist looked at Verbena oddly.  "Well then, we'll just say I take 'Unique' to a new level, shall we?" SammiJo replied sarcastically.

"No, we shall not." Verbena responded to SammiJo's tone.  "We can't because you are not unique."

A look of horror crossed her face, then SammiJo voiced her unbidden thought, "My Father has other leap-conceived children?"

"No, no," Verbena shook her head vehemently.  "That's not what I meant."  Dr. Beeks paused as her words were ingested.  "How did you find out that Dr. Beckett is your father?" Verbena asked.

"Totally by accident," SammiJo admitted.  "I was collecting leap data for a back-up file and came across my grandfather's name.  I was so intrigued by the idea that Dr. Beckett could have leaped into someone in my family I just kept reading the file.  That is until I came upon the whole lurid story of Abigail Fuller and Sam Beckett." SammiJo's tone was angry again.

Even toned, Verbena asked, "And at what point did you go tearing into Admiral Calavicci's office?"

"After he saved my mother from the lunch-mob," the scientist answered contritely.

Verbena allowed herself a small smile.  "You didn't read far enough.  You met your father when you were a little girl.  Read the data from next leap in that folder," she urged SammiJo.  "Then read the file I'm going to have Ziggy put on the terminal in your quarters."

"But, Verbena," SammiJo began to protest.

"That's an order, Dr. Fuller," Verbena cut her off. 

SammiJo huffed out of her office only to return two hours later.  After reading about how her father, as Larry Stanton, had saved her mother and about the simo-leap with Al, SammiJo was again in awe of Dr. Sam Beckett, her Father.  But she had one more question for Verbena Beeks.

"Do you think you could arrange for me to meet the only other leap-conceived person on the planet?"\\

The thud of a fruit platter on the table brought Verbena back to the present.  Beth was asking her a question.

Chagrinned Verbena apologized to her, "Sorry, I was daydreaming.  What did you ask?"

"I asked how the new leapee is," Beth repeated.

"She's fine," Verbena replied, silently adding 'for now'.  "Why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if my husband was gong to be in the Imaging Chamber forever, or if he'd be able to attend this shin-dig."

"I certainly hope Al gets here," Donna joined the conversation.  "It's important, for morale, for him to be here at least part of the time."

Just then Tina returned to the cafeteria.  "I wouldn't worry about the Admiral making it to the party," she said.  "He's out of the Imaging Chamber.  On his way to his office, he told me to tell you he'd be here in 20 minutes."  This she directed to Beth.

Beth snorted, "I've heard that before."  She sighed.  "Well, I guess I'd better go retrieve my husband," she said as she left the room.

Down the hall and eight floors below, Al was putting the finishing touches on his present for the happy couple.  Searching his desk drawers for another roll of Scotch Tape, he remembered a recent conversation that had taken place right here in his office.

//"Why didn't you tell me you were stopping by?" the admiral inquired of his son.  JC was standing in the doorway, his face tan and relaxed.  Seated in front of Al's desk, SammiJo was being briefed on the status of the project since she'd been on vacation.

"I'm almost done with Dr. Fuller …" Al continued to say when he was interrupted.

"Actually, I'm glad Michael is here, Al," SammiJo said as she grinned at the man in the doorframe.  JC entered the office, closed the door and sat down next to her.

"Papa, I knew SJ was here," JC said, invoking his pet name for his father.  "That's why I came.  I thought we ought to tell you together," JC said.

"Tell me what?"

"We're getting married, Al," SammiJo said, her face just sparkled with excitement.

Al was stunned.  He knew of their friendship, even commended Verbena for encouraging it, but never thought it would lead to marriage.

JC watched the interplay of emotions on his father's face.  "Aren't you happy for us, papa?" he asked.

Al took a breath.  "Of course I'm happy for you both.  I think this is terrific."  He came around the desk and kissed them both on the cheek.  "SammiJo, have you told your mother yet?"

"We were just there," she replied.  "Mom just loves Michael, but she's concerned …"

"About the age difference, papa," JC continued.  "We both tried to reassure her …"

"But she's a mother," Al finished for them both.  "Twenty years probably sounds like an outrageous difference to Abigail."

"I don't know about that.  There's only thirteen years between us and we get along just fine," JC teased his father.

"Ha ha," Al responded.  "Parents always worry about their kids, even when the kids are adults.  It's a fact of life.  You two have lots of parents and step-parents caring for you."

"We know how lucky we are, Al," SammiJo interjected.  "We figured, after telling Mom, we ought to tell you next."

"We'll be making it public soon, but wanted to let you know first," JC added.  "We also want to let Beth and the girls …"

"And Donna," SammiJo reminded him.

"And Donna, know before the general announcement is made," JC finished his thought.  "We were hoping you could help us, papa."

"Sure," Al agreed. \\

"Earth to Admiral Calavicci?" Beth's teasing tone came from his doorway, waking him from his daydreaming.

"Hi, honey.  How does it look?" he asked of the wrapped box.

"It's beautiful," she said, wrapping her arms around him. 

"No, you're beautiful," Al stated as he nuzzled at her neck.

"We don't have time for that now, flyboy," Beth warned with a giggle.  "They'll be here any minute."

"O.K., let's go hit the shower," he agreed and escorted her out the door.

Several minutes later, SammiJo Fuller nervously awaited her fiancée at the gate.   She smiled as his PT Cruiser pulled up and stopped.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd be waiting here for me, honey?" Michael Jarrett-Calavicci questioned.  "You could have stayed in the air conditioning."

"It's not that hot today," she stated.  "Besides, I wanted a few minutes alone with you before everyone and his sisters descends on us."

Michael caught a wistful undertone in SammiJo's voice.  "Not everyone will be there," he said and slid his arm around her as they waited for the elevator.   "Thinking about your dad?"

"It's kind of hard not to," she responded ruefully.  "I wish there were some way to let him know about this, us, how happy we are."  The elevator doors opened to admit them.

"I know," Michael softly planted a kiss on her head.  A moment passed while they held each other.  "I want to thank him when I see him, when he comes home."

"Thank him?" his fiancée questioned.  The elevator stopped and deposited them on the third level of the complex.

"Yes, thank him," Michael confirmed.  He stopped walking and turned to face her.  "I want to thank him for saving my mother's life.  I want to thank him for talking me into staying in college and not going to Viet Nam.  I want to thank him for creating this fantastic creation that allowed Al Calavicci to be my father."

He stared intensely in to SammiJo's eyes.  "But most of all I want to thank him for saving your mother's life, twice, and for causing you to be."  He wrapped his arms around her.  "I can't imagine my life without you and therefore, without him.  I need to thank him for giving me the greatest gift in the world, you."

SammiJo bit her lip trying to hold back the tears.  Thunderous applause erupted around them.  Unknowingly, they had been standing in the doorway to the cafeteria.  Blushing furiously, the intended couple entered the party.  Glasses of champagne were placed in their hands.  Al broke from the crowd to make a toast.

"If any two people were destined to be together, it's Michael and SammiJo.  They are truly the children of this project, created by many kinds of love.  Between a man and a woman, between friends, and for humanity.  I know this will be a wonderful marriage because if anything goes wrong, her father will go back and fix it."  Al paused while the crowd chuckled. 

"One of the biggest stresses in marriage is the in-laws.  Let me tell you something, JC, both of your mothers-in-law are strong, independent women.  Cherish them and they will nurture your marriage.  Otherwise …"

Julianna interrupted, "things will go …"

The rest of the Calavicci girls chorused, "a little bit caca."

Al tried to regain some control of this toast.  "SammiJo, I do hope after you're married you will continue to work on the retrieval program.  I'm counting on you to bring your father home and to greet him with a grandchild or two."  The crowd tittered again.

"Now I know you all want to get on with the party, so I'll finish with an Italian toast my father used," Al raised his glass. "Cin-Cin!"**

So as not to be left out, Ziggy added, "Or in the words of my father, 'OH BOY!'"

THE END

 * Michael Jarrett-Calavicci (JC) is the son of Al Calavicci and Suzanne Jarrett, then Suzanne Eslinga, conceived during "The Leap Back" when Al leaped into Captain Tom Jarrett.  He is the creation of Katherine R. Freymuth in her wonderful story "The Blind Shall See, The Deaf Shall Hear".

** Italian toast, loosely translated as "All good things for you".