So, I've been writing this for a little while and I finally got it down today after finished up my Earth Systems Final. Enjoy! Revieww please.
Title :: Voices
Disclaimer :: I don't own the A-team.
Summary :: There are some days were Murdock's mind isn't filled with crazy plans and fun tricks. There are some days were Murdock's mind becomes something scary, something dark. Face can't make it go away forever, but he knows when those days come, he can try. Light Slash, no smut.
They were in the middle of planning - not important plans, just dinner - when Face looked over to their pilot while calling out his name for input on the conversation. What he got back though wasn't a response, just a full hit of worry.
Murdock was curled up on the couch, pressed into the corner, with his kness hugged tightly to his chest. When the silence had settled in too long their boss looked up. Hannibal glanced between his two team members. Face's eyes held concern as they stared at the younger ranger. His features expressed easily how much he wanted to comfort Murdock and Hannibal quickly grabbed a pair of car keys. He called out for B.A. and explained they'd be testing the diner down the road. B.A. took one look around the room, getting hit with the tension, and followed his commander out the motel door without question.
Face noticed that Murdock hadn't moved at all through the activity and sound of half of their team shuffling through the room. He hadn't acknowledged anything. Face quietly stood from his seat at the table and placed himself beside Murdock. He cautiously placed a firm hand on the pilot's upper arm, careful not to startle him.
The touch grabbed hold of Murdock's mind and pulled it down, slamming back into reality - and himself - abruptly and resulting in a flinch. Face frowned, squeezing gently.
"Come here." His voice was only a whisper. He tugged lightly at Murdock, who came willingly to lean against his chest.
"Temp. Please. Make them go away." Murdock mumbled against the fabric of his shirt. Face closed his eyes, quilt settling in his heart for his inability to help. Murdock's eyes closed tight as he clutched to the only thing keeping him rooted in this world.
Murdock's mind was coming after him. The voices had to be lying.
They had to be.
A sob escaped through his lips, catching the lieutenant's attention. "What can I do?" Face asked softly, pain in his voice.
Face felt strong hands that normally handled flight controls - navigating, defying gravity without hesitation - shake against his chest. His hands came up to meet Murdock's, holding them steadily over his heart. The pilot seemed to relax to that beat for only a moment before pressing closer to him. There was another sob and Murdock mumbled something, muffled by his teammate's shirt.
"What?" Face asked.
There was a long pause. "They...they ha-ave to be l-lying...right?" It was a soft whisper, not that much easier to understand, but Face caught it. He frowned, Murdock sounded terrified.
"What are they saying?" Face asked, not really knowing if he was prepared for the answer. Murdock heard Face's question but he couldn't respond, his thoughts wouldn't give him enough time. He clutched closer to Face in an attempt to keep himself as close to reality as he could. The lieutenant's arms wrapped tighter around him, trying to do the same.
The voices were around him. One was rested on his left shoulder, another above his right ear. There was one on the base of his neck, and another on the top of his head. He couldn't get away.
You aren't worth it.
You're crazy, why would anyone want crazy?
He doesn't love you. You're a freak.
Forget it. He doesn't love you.
Murdock's hands left Face's shirt and covered his ears. It didn't help much but, what else could he do?
You should be locked up. Yeah, back in that mental ward. It's where you belong. That's where face wats to put you. He hates you. Hates. You.
No. They had to be lying. Face did love him. He had to. He said he did. And...meant it...right?
"Baby, what is it?" Face's voice was different from the others, it was real and it wasn't laughing at him. It got Murdock to uncover his ears.
"You...you..." He couldn't get the words out. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to - in fear of the response. He didn't want to loose Face, scare him away with things his mind was trying to make him believe.
The tauting, teasing voices wouldn't stop long enough for him to get anything out. They continued to laugh at him, drag him deeper into the terrifying dark spaces of his mind.
Murdock felt hands lift his face and he flinched, taking in a painful gasp of air. Had he not been breathing? He couldn't remember.
"James. What're they saying?" Face asked. The pilot's eyes finally lifted, meeting the sight of concern clouded within his teammates' eyes.
"You...l-love me st-ill...right?" Murdock sounded scared - more terrified - and uncertain. Face's lips parted slightly, initial shock taking over. How could Murdock even think that? Face stopped himself from question it further, taking into accound that Murdock wasn't the one thinking it, wasn't the one who had control at the moment.
Face made the mistake of letting the silence linger too long and Murdock immediately pulled out of his distracted grip. Murdock knew he was going to regret the question. He knew he shouldn't have asked. He climbed off the ocuch, not wanting to be near Face, or in the same room really. Face automatically sat up, trying to pull the other man back, but Murdock puled his hands away.
"Baby, I do-" Face tried to talk but the pilot ignored it, moving farther away from him.
"Don't lie." Murdock said, eyes filling with tears as he turned away. He felt hands on his waist and a sob fell from his lips. "Face. I'm serious." He said, pushing back those tears. He moved to loosen Face's grip but didn't fight hard enough, not truly wanting to be realeased. "Let me go."
Face tightened his hold, even though the younger Ranger wasn't attempting to fight anymore, contradicting his last statement. "I can't do that." He felt Murdock shaking more now, instinctively pulling Murdock's back more against his chest.
"I do love you, James." Murdock's eyes shut. "More than anything else. You know that...and if you really do have your doubts," Face lightly kissed the nape of his neck, "then I will spend the rest of your life - and mine," another kiss fell gently to his skin, "proving it to you." Face's hips swayed, pulling Murdock tighter against him.
Murdock pulled away again, turing around to face the lieutenant. The voices were surrounding afain, stronger.
He's a liar. Don't listen to him. He could do so much better. He deserves so much better. He deserves someone who's sane. Someone normal.
Murdock couldn't tell when those voices became fused with his own.
"No." Murdock said, tears were threatening. Face didn't know if it was towards him or not. Murdock turned on his heel, hastily exiting the sitting area. Face followed but Murdock got to their bedroom before face could catch him. He knocked on the locked door. "Go away." Murdocl said, his voice broke with tears. Face knocked afain, not wanting the other man to cry.
"James. Please let me in." Face begged.
Murdock was pressed with his back against the door. He slowly slid down until he was at the fllor.
"Let me help, babe."
He couldn't help.
Murdock wiped at his eyes, holding back sobs. He knew Face would have not hesitation to kick down the door if he knew that he was actually crying. He pressed himself harder against the door, trying to hide himself away from his mind.
But they wouldn't stop.
The voices never stopped.
Two minutes passed and face was getting more concerned as he continued to count seconds with no sign of movement from the other side of the door. After another minute he knocked again. There was shuffling from inside the room. Murdock's footsteps were retreating from infront of the door. Face heard one sob, then another muddled one and he realized Murdock was crying. He turned the doorknob as far as it would go and roughly hit his shoulder against the door. He got in first try and Murdock turned around to face the other man with surprise written over him. Face closed to space between them, pushing Murdock against the back wall, placing his hands on either side of Murdock's head.
Murdock wouldn't look up at him. He kept himself pressed as closely as he could against the wall, as far away from Face.
"I love you."
Another small sob fell from Murdock's lips.
"They say you don't." He whispered.
"They aren't real. I am. I love you, James. That's real. That's what you need to believe in."
Murdock's eyes were still focused on the small amount of cheap, dirty carpet between their feet.
"You..."
Face waited patiently, keeping adoring eyes locked on the pilot.
"You...deserve someone normal...they're right about that.." His voice trailed off slightly.
That almost made Face cry.
"You shouldn't have to deal with this...with me..." Murdock's voice continued to get quieter, embarrassed. His lower lip quivered slightly.
Face took the opportunity to lean down, capturing his lips. Murdock was so focused on the passionate kiss that the laughs of the voices were slowly retreating into the depths of his mind. He kissed back eagerly, bringing his hands up to tug at Face's shirt. Face leaned against him, putting him more against the wall, protecting him.
When Face finally pulled away he looked down, searching the younger ranger's eyes.
"I love you." He repeated.
"Promise?" Murdock played with the fabric of Face's shirt.
"Promise."
Murdock looked up, holding strong eye contact for a few moments before leaning off the wall and pushing up on the tips of his toes to hug Face's neck.
"I love you too."
Face smiled against his shoulder before capturing his lips again.
As Face's hands led them carefully onto their bed, lips locked, the voice surrounding Murdock's mind disappeared.
The pilot cuddled up against him, burrowing himself into Face's arms. Face held him like that, allowling him to fall asleep quickly - he knew Murdock's mind needed it.
The slow breathing against his chest reassued Face that things would be okay.
There were always going to be the bad days, there were always going to be the days that Murdock's mind got the better of him - that it got control - but the sleeping, now calm and free of his minds dark and frightening clutches, man against him showed that no matter how bad those days got - they could get through. There'd always be a better tomorrow.
I hoped you liked it. I finally got it finished up after my Earth Systems final today. I normally ship Face/Hannibal...but, this idea was in my head and it begged to be written. So...I did(: Review please. Happy Holidays!