It's funny how things turned out; looking back now it's really uncanny. When I transferred from Trabia I felt like I was losing the only family I knew, little did I know I was well on my way back to my real family.

So we aren't a family in the way people would normal describe a family. There is no blood relation and we went years without talking or even remembering each others existence but we are a family none the less. Maybe not everyone can see it but then again not everyone is looking.

I've always been the cheery out going girl. The girl that glows, prancing around in bright colors and forcing my happy go luckiness on anyone within reach. I couldn't stand people to be upset. I still can't. It's just something about me. I just want everyone to be happy; people deserve to be happy. I guess that makes my job a bit of an irony. I mean I'm paid to kill people. But then again that's only one way to look at it.

Maybe people just don't see things the way I see them. I see being a SeeD as a chance to spread more happiness. Before when Norg was in charge we had to take whatever mission was forced upon us but now that Cid is back in control we have a say on our missions and the overall mission of Garden has sort of changed. We are helping rebuild the world into something better!

So see it's not all that bad. I'm not paid to kill people. I'm paid to free other people and make their lives better. At least that's how I see it. I'm still me. Still smiling Selphie.

But even I don't smile all the time. The truth is I was hiding too, just like Squall and Quistis and Seifer. I hide my feelings by helping others, by making everyone happy even if they didn't want to be, even if they had good reason not to be, because if everyone could be happy no matter the circumstances then that meant that I could be happy too even if I didn't really feel happy inside.

I pasted pretend smiles on for so long I forgot that I wasn't really happy. I was blissfully unaware of the emptiness. Until I became a SeeD. When we were dispatched on our first mission I felt like I was a part of something important. Working in a team with Squall and Zell I felt like we were going to achieve something. Liberate Timber bring happiness to all those people maybe then I could really be happy.

But of course this was just a prelude to bigger things. That was when Rinoa found her way into our family. Well she almost forced herself into our family, but I'm not saying that was a bad thing. Quite the contrary, she belongs here. She didn't just save Squall from the emptiness she saved us all. She inspired me just like she inspired us all.

And there we were a group of teenagers who barely new each other given an order that would change the world. Assassinate the Sorceress. But then it wasn't that easy was it. No just another prequel.

It wasn't until I was standing in the ruins of Trabia when Irvine informed us of who we really were. We all remembered we were a family once before and we would be a family once again with an edition of course.

But the knowledge of my family brought up the past, and with it the emptiness. I remembered wondering where my real family was, why had my parents left me? Were they dead, or did the just not want me? Then these people I had grown to cherish in their place they were ripped from me too. Could I really trust that we'd be able to stay together again? I didn't want to have this new happiness ripped away too.

But I did the Selphie thing to do. I swallowed my fear and pledged myself to this mission, to saving the world because if anything else we could stay together a bit longer at least. My family I had found them again.

I think the hardest thing we had to overcome was when Rinoa was in the coma. We didn't have a reason for it and we didn't have any idea how to help her. It tore Squall up. It tore us all up the rest of us just hid it better.

Some feelings don't have to be said.

When Squall carried her to Esthar that was when I knew we were really a family. I was a little annoyed that he wanted to save her all by himself, after all we loved her too, but I was happy all the same to know that all of us even Squall would do anything for one another.

Then came our chance to do just that. After it was found out that Rinoa was in fact the new Sorceress we had to make a choice her or the world. Funny thing is it wasn't really a choice we already knew what we would do. We let Squall have the leading role after all he always was the Knight and Rinoa the Princess.

After that a trip to the orphanage and then off to save the world. Everyone knows that part. It's the family part they don't get. We didn't fight for the world; we fought for each other. We fought because it was the only way to stay together.

And now here we are a few months later, a few bucks richer and a hell of a lot wiser. But the world doesn't want to honor a mismatched family who fought for it's right to exist, they want courageous warriors, a valiant knight and an honorable sorceress. Her part in saving the world is the only thing that gives them any trust in her, but they could turn at anytime. To them she'll always be a threat even if now it's only in the back of their mind. If it comes to her or them we already know what side we'll fight for. Rinoa would never start a campaign to rule the world, never massacre for power, but people might assume it of her, and if it comes to that we will protect our family no matter the cost.

I am really happy again. Even if there are many unanswered questions. Like who were my parents? Are they really gone? Do I have any blood relatives? Rinoa and Squall still have fathers and they are working on those relationships, but what about the rest of us? We are a family right here but there are still many questions. I wonder if someday we'll find any answers. The past still haunts us all every now and again; all those unanswered questions still get us from time to time. But we are trying. We are healing bit-by-bit, piece-by-piece.

We all have something now each other. Rinoa and Squall have each other too. The Knight finally found his Princess. Ellone has her chance to once again fulfill her role as Sis. Quistis has her teaching and her adoring Trepies, which she secretly loves.

And I have… well I have a relentless Cowboy and a spastic Martial Artist. They both hover around in the background of my day-to-day activities both playing a supporting role in my life, but both holding out for that part of leading man. I smile when I notice them. I am glad to have them both around, but for now I just want to be Selphie for a bit. I think they both understand.

Maybe someday one of them will get that staring role but right now I'm not ready, there are still many questions to be answered and many years to catch up on. Right now I'm just happy to be here in this place in time with my family. And I'm happy to finally truly be the girl that glows, to be the real smiling Selphie.

Authors Note: Well this might serve as a sort of preface to a Selphie/Irvine/Zell story. I have some ideas. It would center around the three of them and maybe Quistist and Seifer searching for their pasts, you know the background stories about their parents and realtives and such and of course deal with the Selphie/Irvine/Zell triangle.

It depends on the reviews I get. Plus I'm also working on my Rinoa/Seifer/Squall fic Two Knights, Many Days. But one of Ashbear's stories inspired me (heh what's new) so I had to get this at least down on my MacBook. So tell me what you think. Do you want more?