Side note: Katie and Thomas bath scene did not happen... sorry to all of you that actually contemplated on actually thinking about Katie and Thomas... :P... just kidding 'Komas' shippers
Title: Deserted
Pairing: KEFFY
Rating: 15, swearage... maybe kissage? hmmmm
Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING related to skins, just the thoughts in my own head... well in this case Katie's head.
Summary: Katie's thoughts throughout the bbq scene and after the pizza dinner.
I walk into Naomi's back garden. The usual gang are there obviously, and Emily is with some people I've never seen before, all looking more drugged up than three Freddie's, two Cook's and four Effy's... damn this is gonna be a fucking disaster.
I see Effy sat down on a lounge chair, fag in hand and Naomi desperately trying to make her lighter work. I can't blame her after that little display Emily just did. What the fuck is going on with those two.
Lesbian drama is the worst.
I roll my eyes. I smile at Effy, but she doesn't smile back and I frown a little as I sit down next to them.
Effy reaches over, giving Naomi a light, not looking at me.
So what do I do?
I ignore her back. The bitch.
I feel her looks at me, it's very quick, but I pretend not to notice it, sighing and looking at the very uninteresting effort Fredick... sorry, Freddie is putting on the barbeque.
"Wow, look at miss peachy." Effy comments. I look at her for a second, frowning, before look over at my twin, who's drunk as fuck and high as a kite. Wonderful.
"Who's got anymore pills?" She's fucking kidding right? She can hardly fucking stand. She stumbles. Point proven. "Effy?" Oh please god, make her say no.
She shakes her head no. Thank you. "Don't you think you've had enough?" I ask her, rather harsh. She doesn't even bat an eyelid.
"Don't think. Makes life much easier." God, what the fuck has gotten into her? "Naomi darling? Got any more of your special powder? No?" Special powder? What?!
"Don't. Em." What the hell is going on?
"Where's Cook when you need him eh?" Ok, seriously?
She walks off and I blank her out. I honestly can't be doing with one of her bloody mood swings right now. I have a sexy brunette to focus on.
Katie, get that thought out of your head right now! Be worried about your sister.
But-
No buts!
Oh shitting hell, I'm arguing with myself... that's not a good sign right?
"Another fun day at Mrs and Mrs Campbell's." Naomi gets up, walking off, leaving me and Effy alone.
Right, she might bloody talk to me now. Emily has started acting up, I hate it when she gets like this. It doesn't happen often, only when she's extremely depressed. Naomi must've done something beyond fucking stupid.
I swear to god if that stupid cow hurt her I'll-
Katie! Leave it.
I take a calming breath before I start to argue with myself again.
I look back to Effy, just in time to see her pop a pill into her mouth and downing it with a gulp of Vodka. I don't know why I'm surprised. She always has something.
Thomas comes over, says something, doesn't register though, I'm too pissed off and have far too much going through my head.
Effy sparks up a spliff, exclaiming, "don't think so." And I'm hoping that he will go away. Does he?
No.
Who does?
Yeah. Fucking Effy. She gives me one of those looks, one of the ones that either means 'we'll talk later' or 'stop being a retard'... either way, I'm less than impressed as she walks over to fucking Freddie, kissing him.
Stupid fucking bitch.
It's all for show. It has to be, because... well because she said she wouldn't abandon me.
She said it! And I swear she meant it.
What if she didn't?
Oh my god, please don't tell me Katie Fitch is getting played. I think I'll die if someone else leaves me. Especially her. She's the last person I have left.
Fuck it! I don't need her anyway. I have...
I have...
Shit!
Emily fucking dancing with some skanky bitch, Effy all over fucking Freddie, and the only person I have with me at the minute is Thomas.
Fabu-fucking-lous. "Do you want me to ask everyone to leave?"
My response is automatic. Void of emotion. Because really? What emotion could I have at the minute?
Even self-pity has flew out the window for me. Bye bye self-pity. "Thanks Thomas. What's the point?" I look at him briefly. "It's all fucked anyway." It is. Effy. Naomi. Emily. Our family. The only one who seems to be having any kind of fun is James, bless his little perverted soul. He's showing his number off to Naomi and splashing around with JJ.
I suddenly see Emily kissing that skank thing and I stand up, my eyes blinking in confusion and desperately trying not to shout a sarcastic 'wrong blonde' to her. What the hell is she doing? To make things worse, I see our Mum staring in shock... as if it's not bad enough having to see her kiss Naomi.
Fuck, imagine if she found out about my thoughts about Effy.
No Katie! Fuck Effy remember-
I sure would.
That's not what I meant. She's all over Freddie. Fuck her!
I hear Naomi ask her what the fuck she's doing, and I think that's a question we all want answering. God the look of hurt on her face, it even makes me cringe.
Next thing I know Emily has ran after Naomi, pushing her into the little paddling pool they have, soaking herself and the blonde from head to toe.
My sister can be such a moron.
We all walk around to where Naomi walks, seeing Emily push her and mumble some words before Naomi speaks. "What you want to fuck her is that it?" Ew has Emily even seen her?
"Maybe I do. So what?" Ems, and I thought your taste in Naomi was bad.
Naomi has such pain in her eyes, and she's silent, not like her at all.
"That's enough." Mum states. Clearly annoying as she asks what's going on.
Naomi reveals everything. How she fucked Sophia and gave her the drugs.
God I want to hit her so fucking badly right now. Hurting Emily like that. Dad has perfect timing as ever, running in shouting something about a caravan, which would actually be really funny if it wasn't for the circumstances. I look at him. What the fuck Dad?
Emily goes into another rant. This one makes me angry though. "Why don't you all just fuck of?. Look at you, pretending to be happy families." Alright Ems, calm the fuck down. Who says we aren't happy, give or take a couple of days. "Pretending to love each other."
We do... don't we?
I do.
"Don't you dare speak to me like tha-"
"Get off your high horse." Emily cuts Mum off. I'm too shocked to say anything. I can feel the anger building up inside and I have to bite my lip to stop saying something to her as Mum walks off.
God I know what Naomi did was fucked up, but bloody hell!
"Bit melodramatic." I know what's coming next. I can already feel this slap coming on as she looks at me and smirks. "Remind you of anyone?" Fuck, Jesus, shit. I couldn't help it. I couldn't, I tried to hold it back but damn, she got to my already bad mood. My hand stung with the force of the slap, and I let out a frustrated scream when I heard James plead 'stop it'.
I walk past Effy and I know she's going to say something but the look I give her shuts her up right away. She does not want to mess with me right now.
I have a nice, long, hot, semi-relaxing bath, check up on my family and hold my sister until she stops crying.
She may be acting like a spoilt bitch, but we've all been there at some point.
We search for my Mum... I tell her I can't have kids and we do this big emotional thing, but to be honest, as much as I love my family and the fact they are trying to get back on track...
I need to see Effy.
Desperately.
It doesn't help when we go back to Naomi's and her and Emily hug.
It's not much, but it's a step forward.
Yeah, that doesn't make fucking sense to me either... trying to be all deep and shit doesn't really suit me eh?
"I have to go somewhere." I hug Emily and then Naomi. "If you ever fucking her hurt again I swear to god." I leave my sentence hanging, she knows.
I'm Katie fucking Fitch! I make promises not fucking threats.
Effy is at home. I don't know if I'm happy or not. Her Mum let me in, told me she was in her room and I walk right in, hoping and praying to any God that may exist that Freddie isn't with her, because I think I may physically be sick.
He's not. Effy is just sitting in the middle of her bed, legs crossed and looking deep in though. "Hey."
She jumps nearly a foot off the bed and I can't help but giggle a little at her face. She recovers quickly and looks at me with a small smile though. "Hi yourself. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"What was that with Freddie today?" I blurt it out without thinking. I've never been one for subtlety, why start now?
"Katiekins." She says affectionately as she begins to walk over to me.
"Don't fucking Katiekins me alright? What was that? How could you do that after-"
"What did you expect me to do Katie? Completely ignore my boyfriend so I could sort... whatever this is out with you?" I know she had a point, but me and rational thinking? Out the window with self-pity.
"Yes!" She stalks over to me then, her body trapping mine between herself and the door... her perfume so intoxicating, and her eyes. Jesus those things will be the fucking death of me.
Without sounding like a cheesy 1950's movie, they are staring straight into my soul. "Katie. How can you expect me to end it on what? A maybe one time thing before you realise it isn't me you really want?"
"It is you I really want." I whisper. How could she not know that now. I poured my fucking heart out to her earlier. "God it's you. I've never wanted... needed anybody before and then when you... with Freddie... and..." Yeah Katie, way to sound like a total mong.
Fucking idiot.
"You thought I'd abandoned you." She says softly, looking away.
"No." I sigh. "I thought you'd deserted me." And there's a big fucking difference I tell you, might be the same definition in the stupid know it all dictionary, but there is a difference. And she knows it.
"Never. I'm sorry you felt that way." She wipes what must be a stray tear off my cheek and pecks my lips softly. "Come on. I guess you need some rest."
Surprisingly, I'm actually full of energy after that. I shake my head no and kiss her with a force. It knocks her back slightly, but her small, skinny frame is stronger than it looks.
I push her back onto the bed and she moans... I love that noise.
"Katie." She mumbles against my lips... er, kinda busy here love. "Katie... my phone." She pants.
What the...
When the...
How the fuck did she hear that?
I groan and roll off her, grabbing her phone off the side and scowl at the screen.
"Who is it?" She's still quite breathless. I'm proud of that.
"You're other half."
"Ignore him. I won't you back here... now." Her eyes have gone that dark blue shade and fuck me if I didn't just whimper.
"I'm kidding. It's Cook, better answer or he'll come round." She sighs heavily and takes the phone off me.
"What?" I hear him mumble on the other end and I start nipping at her neck, her breathing picks up. "No I'm not at home." I giggle silently. "It doesn't matter what I'm doing, it's far more fucking important then you." Now I grin... I know it was said in a less than romantic way, but aw, how sweet. "No it's not Freddie."
Yeah, now my mood has gone. I sit up off her and rest against her pillows. She gives me a really apologetic look. "Cook, I'm busy, fuck off yeah?" And she shuts her phone, sighing. "Moment gone?" She asks.
Boys. They always wreck the perfect moments.
To be fair, I could probably carry on, but it isn't the right time. "Ef, it's never going to feel right while you're still with him."
"I know." She looks so defeated, but it's for the best. "Kissing is fine though yeah?" She smirks.
"Yeah, I'll even let you do a little groping." I laugh. I quickly turn serious though. I still need her tonight. "Effy, can you just... hold me? For a while. Please?"
Her smile is beaming, who knew a simple request for cuddling would have Effy Stonem's smile light up like a fucking Christmas Tree?
She cuddles up behind me, wrapping a protective arm around my waist and placing soft kisses along my neck.
No-one has been like this with me before. So gentle. So soft.
"Ef?" I have to tell her... I need to tell someone else... someone who isn't going to pity me.
"Yeah?" She whispers, her hot breath sending shivers all over me.
So fucking whipped.
"I can't have kids. The doctor told me yesterday."
"Ok. How does that make you feel?" That's one thing I love about her... her questions are just that. Questions. There is no hidden meaning behind them, no judging. Just as they are.
"I don't know. I always imagined myself with children... but I get it doesn't matter now anyway." Hello self-pity... nice of you to come back to me.
"There are always other ways. Plenty of children out there that have been abandoned, not deserted. Just need someone to go and take them in to a nice loving home, with an amazing mother." She grips a bit tighter on me.
She's right... I never even thought about it. So fucking wrapped up in the drama of everything, I forgot about the sensible solutions.
God she's amazing.
I turn around in her arms, smile warmly at her and voice my thoughts. "God you're amazing."
She giggles. "I try my best."
"Can I stay here tonight?"
"You can stay with me forever. Get some rest."
With a final kiss goodnight, I drift off to sleep. Hope, joy and happiness climbing back up onto the window ledge.
I smile at the thoughts of what tomorrow may bring.