Disclaimer: Oh boy, I don't own Yu-gi-oh (that's for sure)… Ano, right…
Summary: Ryou decides to get a job at a café and happens to witness a nasty break up between Seto Kaiba and Ryuuji Otogi. So, being the nice boy he is, he decides to help Seto out… Life wasn't complicated enough…
Couples:
Eventual RyouxSeto.
Hints of SetoxOtogi.
A/N: Don't flame please, constructive criticism is fine, but yelling people senselessly is a tad over-doing it, hai? the small things in life make me happy.
Fair Game
Chapter One
I've often wondered why so many things have gone wrong in my life… But, I suppose without the bad things in life, we would never appreciate the good. What bothers me is that I never seem to have control over the way my life is run… It's somewhat like rolling the dice and hoping you get the number you need to head forward a few more paces. Or drawing the right card… In chess, you have control over many lives, you are the true leader that can order the king and all he rules over.
But it seems only Yuugi Moutou and his dark have the power of the heart of the cards, Kaiba Seto the chessboard and Otogi Ryuuji the dice.
Then of course, there's Monster World, domain of Mou Hitori no Boku. In that game you are either the lord of the world or a small little figure of wood on the game board, at the mercy of the greater power above.
And I fear that I am most certainly not the greater power above…
"Bakura…?" Ah, yes, that reminds me.
We gather here today to commemorate the soul of my now passed on TV. It was a brave piece of machinery, and stood its ground to the very last moments of its life as it served us faithfully, showing us the grand Iron Chef marathon. Its life will not be wasted and--
"Ay-uh, Bakura, you okay, man..?"
Okay, okay, calm down… Ignore him.
We will forever remember how well it showed us our favorite programs, from Ringu to the latest dueling tournaments. We will not remember how you died though, courtesy of the dreaded evil, Jounouchi Katsuya. We will only remember how good of a friend you were and forever will be.
I was nearly ready to ask Jounouchi the demon seed of he wanted to say any final words to my TV. But I feared that if I asked him that, it may come out something similar to "Jounouchi, do you have any last words..?"
"Bakura, I said I was sorry-" he began again. I turned and smiled at him, trying to mimic Mou Hitori no Boku's own psychotic expression. I'm not at all surprised however, that I failed miserably and ended up with yet another normal sweet smile. Often times I've wondered who's luckier out of the two of us. The one who can't look evil if he tried or the one who can't even fathom the word "nice." I do believe once I tried to be er, "bad…"
I glued a coin to the sidewalk once and sat up in a tree in the park and watched a little girl try and pick it up. I felt so guilty when she couldn't, that I ended up paying her 500 yen… She smiled at me, but not before she burst into tears and her mother came running over. After she explained to the woman how "meanie-face" had absolutely "made a mockery of her," her mother went up to me, hit me with her purse, grabbed her daughter's hand and promptly walked away.
/It was 1,000 yen, Yadounushi ./ And so the Great Thief Lord Bakura speaks. A.k.a Great Pain-In-My-
/You're the hikari, boy, keep the roles right. / And so the Great Thief Bakura leaves.
I can't ever win in this world. I believe the score is now, ano, one moment…
Greater power above: infinity.
Bakura Ryou: -5.
"No, no, Jounouchi, don't worry about me, but if you don't mind, I'd like to clean up the room now," I sighed. He looked at me, eyes rather large and mouth the size of a pinprick. If not for that fact that he had just driven his foot through the screen of my one and only TV I think that I may have laughed. May have, I say, may have.
"Bakura, would you like us to stay and help you clean up…?" I sighed and smiled at Yuu-gi. Such a nice person, though highly aggravating at times…
"No. Not at all. You may all leave now," I nodded, still smiling. I believe I didn't need the scary 5,000-year-old ghost's smirk to successfully scare Yuu-gi-tachi. If you look sickeningly sweet enough, they will go away. This I have learned through several grieving experiments…
They looked at each other and nodded. I believe that they have a secret code that they haven't told me about, so they can communicate without actually speaking and can therefore create plots to ruin my life. And I also believe that I have had one too many years with an ancient spirit around my neck. The latter seems more reasonable.
Yuu-gi-tachi grinned at me and waved good-bye turning around to leave my apartment. I followed behind them, keeping a careful eye on Jounouchi and Honda to make sure that the two didn't cause chaos to break out once again of it's tightly bound cage and wreak another one of my appliances. This month I've recorded to be beyond repair my rice-maker, a mirror (which I believe is to blame for the rest of the items broken), my laptop and now, my TV.
It would happen to be the 7th, not the 27th or the 31st, but the 7th.
I opened the door for them and said my fair-wells as politely as I could. They repeated their murmurs of their own good-byes again and just as Anzu opened her mouth to say something I made sure to look away quickly, avoided eye contact and then closed the door quickly and firmly. I securely locked it the door as soon as it was shut. The last thing I needed right now was an Anzu lecture. Today I have already not only endured a Yami-Yuu-gi destiny rant, a broken TV because of Jounouchi, an empty refrigerator because of Honda and a long conversation with Yuu-gi about the powers of the Dark Magician.
I really do not need Anzu at this point in time.
I've often wondered why the greater power above so hates me. Or takes such entertainment in warping my life. Someone up there is laughing hysterically now, with the game board in front of them. They're pointing a finger at my little wooden figurine, finding it incredibly entertaining as I'm about to have a break down.
I do feel a bit bad for slamming the door shut in their faces like that though… It was a bit rude… Perhaps I should apologize later- No.
I turned to face the horror that lived in my apartment. I resisted the urge to scream out in terror. No apology will be needed now, I suppose. I contented myself a simple comment that came out in a brutal hiss. Well, compared to my normal behavior anyway. I wonder if they offer "how to be mean" courses in college.
"Must. Clean."
Papers thrown carelessly, sofa cushions in the kitchen, plants over-turned, and pizza boxes strewn across the floor with the pizza well out of their containers. Cleaning was going to be hard. Resisting the urge to cry was even harder. I walked over to my kitchen and got the cleaning supplies from under the sink and began to clean as best I could.
Which wasn't very good at all really.
As I scrubbed I thought quietly to myself as to how I would be able to explain the broken TV to my father… He wouldn't be very happy about this—but then again, he wouldn't be home for another three months. Yes, I think that was about enough time to well, fix the TV. If I could. While I was wiping pizza sauce from the ground I looked over at the TV.
"So, explain to me, how can you be fixed..?" The broken screen of the poor thing was utterly silent.
CRACK.
"AAHHH!"
Yes, I do realize that I just screamed despite my large amount of dignity. The thing sparked at me! In all honesty, the TV spat a piece of its highly-dangerous-electric-spit at me! I stood up from where I had fallen and walked over to it cautiously. I was about two feet away from it before it suddenly shot a defiant spark at me. After another shriek, I gained my courage and I frowned, placing my hands on my hips.
"And just for that, you my friend, will be replaced."
Another spark.
"Oh, shut up, I knew I couldn't fix you anyway."
It took me a total of three hours to clean my apartment, and while on a roll I decided to tidy up my room. Well, not so much tidy up my room so much as neglect my cleaning supplies in a corner and look through some of my old papers. I found something that I had drawn in kindergarten, along with some old reports I had done for school many years ago. I finally came across a picture of my family that I hadn't remembered putting there. I looked at it for a moment, biting my lip. No, not right now, too stressful a day already.
Next was a picture of my friends and I at Duelist Kingdom. If you look closely I believe you can see the Millennium Eye in my pocket. Jounouchi and Honda have made so many crude jokes about the bulge in my pocket that I grew terribly close to losing my temper and having Mou hitori no Boku go through with his threat of "removing their own bulges in their pockets."
Next was another picture of us on Kaiba's blimp, I believe it was somehow confiscated from a security camera. We were all standing there eating our food before the finals and if you looked closely enough, you could detect the vague outline of Kaiba standing in the background.
That man honestly makes me wonder. You'd think with such dedication to his brother and job that he'd have the same kind of mentality for everything in life- - but apparently not. I don't think he's at all a bad person, but I do think he could afford to be a bit more amiable.
I found another picture of my family before tucking the papers and photographs away and then looking over at the clock next to my bed. It was getting late, eleven thirty, frankly. I got up, brushing the imaginary dust off my jeans and then went off to go get ready for bed. Tomorrow morning I would go and check to see what TVs I could replace my current one with, hopefully one that looked the same so that way when father did come back he wouldn't slip into a coma.
And knowing him, I don't doubt it either.
…After several hours of sleep…
"Ryou? Ryou, Ryou, let me in!" I nearly answered back groggily "not on a hair of my chiny chin chin.(1)" The doorbell rang a few more times. I sat up from my bed and grabbed my alarm clock. The green numbers flashed "6:03…" I fell back into the haven of my blankets and pillow, mumbling incoherently. The knocking continued along with the chiming of the doorbell. With each ring it seemed to get louder and angrier, as if yelling at me, "get up fool and open the door so this fool will stop pressing my buttons."
Yes, the doorbell has always been this comical. Say nothing of my mental state.
"Ryou, I know you're in there, let me in!" It took me a few moments to register who it was that was speaking to me. Or rather at me, through the door. I wonder how loud he would have to be in order for me to hear him loud and clear through the door and the rest of my apartment… I wonder what the neighbors must- oh, no… The neighbors…
I immediately jumped off of my bed and ran to the door, ripping it open and grabbing his shirt to pull him inside my dim apartment. I poked my head outside, looking for any signs of my land lord having a fit or my neighbors coming over to beat me lifeless. Thankfully there was none. Just a mortified bird perched in the railing. I closed the door and let out a breath I hadn't realized that I'd been holding.
"Ryou! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID TO ME?"
And my moment of peace has been demolished by none other than Otogi Ryuuii… I knew that clown would pull off something like this.
"And ohayou (2) to you as well, Otogi," I sighed hopelessly, walking into the kitchen to put a pot of tea on the stove. He was still fuming as he sat on the sofa. His face was set in a permanent pout, arms crossed firmly over his chest, except for one hand which was passionately and faithfully swirling a piece of his hair. I watched him for a moment longer before feeling the need to break the silence.
"Ogenki desu ka? (3)" I couldn't help but ask. His head snapped around to glare at me. Before I knew it he had somehow managed to get into the kitchen from the couch in less than a second. He was now pacing angrily, mumbling curses and I suppose talking to me. I wasn't quite sure. I stopped paying attention really to what he was saying at about 6:05 this morning.
"Can you believe him? He told me, me that I wasn't putting enough effort into this relationship to make it work! Can you believe that! ME! Look at him!" Otogi continued, waving an arm in the hair for drama. He nearly knocked the kettle off the stove, I winced, waiting for the impact of the kettle on the floor or the scream when the hot water hit him. None came thankfully.
"He blew off our last three dates! Not only that, but for Valentine's Day all he did was send me an e-mail saying 'love you, happy v-day,' and that's it! IT WASN'T EVEN FROM HIM! He had his secretary send it!" I considered telling him perhaps that the secretary liked him and that Kaiba didn't remember. I think that would have made the situation worse, so I had made a clever move and just ended up saying nothing.
"I don't know what to do about him! My work this, my work that, well, if anything I should be his damned-work!"
Of this, I only caught about half the sentence. Something about work was all I heard. I was in a state of trauma that he might knock over my tea. And at this time on a Sunday morning I severely needed my tea… And a dosage of Tylenol. Otogi's voice is too high-pitched for this uncivilized time of day.
"Ryou? Bakura are you even listening to me, you goubert (4)!" he yelled, knocking a fist on a my head. I whined and gave him a hurt look. He softened up slightly, patting my head and then went back to his ranting.
I said nothing the entire time, and took the studying the pants I had chosen to fall asleep in. Blue. Flannel. How nice.
"So, what do you think I should do, Ryou..? I mean, this guy is absolutely unbelievable!"
Oh, no, I've been caught…
"Ur, well, I think you should talk to him," I said, hoping in all honesty that it would work. Nope, that'd be too easy. The higher power above does't like me, remember?
"TALK TO HIM! NEVER AGAIN!"
And cue my heavy sighing. It was a clever way to buy time so I could think of an answer that didn't actually imply that I wasn't paying attention to him for the past couple of minutes.
"Well, think of some redeeming qualities of Kaiba," I tried, swinging my legs back and forth the watch the pattern of the flannel flex in different ways. Cross, uncross, sway, don't sway… And so the cycle continued. I do believe that I'm borderline ADHD.
"I can't in this state of mind!" His immediate response was. I gave him a warning look that it was too early in the morning to be stubborn. He sniffled a bit before answering in a low and resentful voice.
"Well, he's… smart… rich…hot…" At which time the teakettle started to boil and whistle. I jumped at the sound, as I had forgotten about my tea… I believe the teakettle was harboring some secret emotions for the Kaiba Corp. president. Yes, I do feel the need to personify every object in my home. The result of living by yourself too long.
"Anything else?" I pressed on, rushing over to turn off the stove so I didn't completely evaporate all the water. I believed he answered something along the lines of "no" except in ten sentences, all of which including the word "bastard," so I basically ignored him once again. I asked him mid-sentence,
"Tea?"
"That bastard son of a b-why, yes, thank you- had better shape up otherwise I'm gonna…" And so he continued. I gave him a tea bag and took some black tea for myself. I blew away the steam for a minute before I took a chance and sipped slowly, yet still burned my tongue. Pleasant day, pleasant day…
Otogi however took his tea in one big swing and then continued to yell obscenities at the elder Kaiba.
"I still can't believe it! Not only that but he doesn't pick up my calls anymore, hardly replies to my e-mails, and not only that but his brother says that he hasn't been up to anything this week and has basically been moping around the house and office, crankier than usual! I mean come on! Take a vacation or something! And better yet, take me with you! You do realize, Bakura, that he and I haven't had a date in a month! A MONTH. And when he does call me he's just like 'Oh, Otogi, I'll see you soon,' yadda, yadda, dear Kami-sama, does this man ever have healthy relationships with anything other than his computers! I've been the laughing stock of-"
He continued so for forty more minutes and three cups of tea later. My stomach ached and grumbled as my hand reached for some more tea. Apparently, no more. Finally, I turned to Otogi, and said meekly.
"Why don't you just set up a date with him, tell him everything you've told me and then go on with life and see how he feels?"
…
This thought, it appeared, had not at all occurred to the man.
He makes me wonder as well.
"I think I'll do just that…" He said finally. I sighed and went to go make myself some toast.
"Can I have some too? I haven't had breakfast yet," I nodded and retrieved the bread again. I went to the refrigerator to go get the jelly as well as think about Otogi's and Kaiba's relationship. Now that I thought about it, they're relationship wasn't all that great to begin with. The two were always busy and never really had time for each other, not only that, but they were both high-maintenance people…
"Um, Ryou, can I have strawberry jelly? I don't like grape."
Case closed. After I finished with the toast I handed him a plate and we ate silently on the sofa. Otogi of course felt the need all the while to sit in a butterfly stretch, so that he used up most the room of the sofa. He seemed to be itching to ask something though. He was fidgeting in his seat as though a spider had been racing around him. Perhaps though, with out the screaming. He kept glancing over at me, and then back to the toast, snickering about something. I did not like it at all. I wondered if I had anything on my face and I felt extremely self-conscious at that moment.
"Yes?" I said finally, casting him a confused look.
"In the case you ever wonder why you can't find a date…" he said, nodding towards television.
And though I had no idea what that comment remotely meant…
Otogi's face, I would like to introduce to you Mister Pillow.
TBC…
Rough translations:
1- I know this wouldn't work in Japanese, but I couldn't resist.
2- Good morning.
3- Are you in good spirits?
4- What my mother has come to call me when she believes I'm being an idiot.
A/N: Did you like it? Please tell me in a review! That's a pretty purple button down at the left hand of the screen, feel free to press it!