Summary: [One-shot] [Songfic-thing] A rift between Yugi and Yami is finally
brought into the open. Is it Téa's fault? Yami tries to explain the
situation to his light, but will Yugi accept what his darker half has to
say? (YamixYugi)
The story is based around Don't Let Me Down Easy by Kim Richey. If you haven't heard the song.. don't worry, 'cause neither had I until Thursday last week, when someone bought me her album to 'see how I'd react'.
Rating: PG-13.. no real reason except the situation.. and slight yaoi, so if you don't like it, don't read it!
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! is not, I repeat NOT mine, so no lawsuits please! And I also don't own the song Don't Let Me Down Easy by Kim Richey, not that owning songs is my thing, but it would be nice to have that kind of talent.
Authoress' comments: None, except I made up the thing about Téa's name, so no flames for that please! Oh, and Ryou's 'darker streaks' is NOT referring to Bakura. It's about the way he thinks.. I love the idea of dark-side Ryou- ness!
Okayyyyy.. roll the fic!!
**--**
Just when you think life has got past that stage, it backtracks furiously to pick up the one point that you could deal with then, but not now. It's one of the things that is guaranteed to happen to everyone at least once, although few people realise that, and the inevitable 'Why me?' floats to the surface.
Yugi wasn't really one of those people, although you could say that he'd had a little extra help. His yami had always been there to offer support and advice, and sometimes, when things got too heavy, to take over the task in hand. But, everyone has their off days.
The stormclouds gathering in the sky should have counted as an omen. Storms weren't really unusual, but today the clouds were darkest grey and so thick they seemed to cast a shadow over the whole city. Yugi couldn't work out why Ryou liked the rain, save for the fact that Ryou's darker streaks came into their own on rainy days.
So Ryou was happy that day, and Yugi was about the same as he made his way home, skipping at first, then running slightly because it was drizzling and he hated getting his hair wet. Being the sensible type, he had his key in his hand, but just as he reached to let himself in, the door opened on its own.
Well, not exactly. Yami was on the other side of the door. 'Yugi!'
'Hey, Yami.' Yugi dropped his bag, and began making his way into the kitchen, only to be greeted by his taller brunette friend. 'Téa! What are you doing here?' Yugi questioned innocently, looking in the refrigerator for something to eat.
'Anzu was just leaving,' said Yami, calling Téa by the Egyptian version of her name. Recently, that had been creeping up on Yugi, digging under his skin when he least expected it, but he had always been able to shake it off; it was something Yami had done for years. Now, though, it hit him so hard he had to fight to stop himself doubling over.
'Actually, Yami, I wasn't.' Téa's voice was as friendly and conversational as always, but the edge was still noticeable. 'I wanted to talk to Yugi.'
'Really? Well, as he is my aibou, I think I also have the right to speak to him.'
Yugi stiffened. Yami hadn't called him 'aibou' in a long time. And Téa had always got on so well with his darker half. He really didn't want his friends fighting when his day had gone so well. It seemed as though they'd had a disagreement before he arrived. However, he barely had time to think this through when the girl's voice snapped him back to reality.
Téa was directing her words towards Yami, who looked torn. 'You're going to have to tell him sooner or later, Yami. He's going to find out one way or another.' She spoke with none of her earlier anger, merely sadness.
She stepped out of the door, her eyes resting on Yugi for a moment before her gaze shifted to Yami. She gave him a long, lingering look that seemed to stay even after she had closed the door behind her retreating form.
Yugi looked up, his violet eyes full of concern. 'Yami?'
'Yugi. We need to talk, I'm afraid.'
**--**
*+The choice of words don't matter
The meaning's still the same+*
'So.. what you're saying is.. that you need some time to think things through, and you want to reconsider your place in everything.'
An hour had passed, and the pair were now sitting on the couch in their living room, Yugi sitting on the edge, hands in his hair, and Yami leaning back with a defeated air.
'Yes, Yugi.'
Yugi sat up and turned to face his dark abruptly. 'No, that's not it at all! What you mean is, you're going, you're leaving me on my own and..' A terrible thought struck Yugi. 'It's not because you've fallen in love with Téa and you don't want to live with me anymore, is it?'
Yami sighed heavily. 'Anzu is part of it, yes.' Yugi closed his eyes and Yami continued quickly. 'But not like that. She's a friend. Just like you are, and it was she who made me see that I'm becoming too linked to you, forgetting that I am my own person.'
*+It won't make me feel better
To hear I'm not to blame+*
Yugi, eyes still closed, swallowed hard, and Yami spoke again.
'It's not your fault.'
'I know that. I know. But.. why now? Why not after Battle City or.. or.. I don't know! But why now? Years and years later, when I'm just living my life like I should?'
'Yugi, please. It hasn't been years and years-,'
'It feels like it!'
'-And I doubt I will ever forgive myself for doing this now and disrupting everything once more-,'
Yugi could feel the backs of his eyes burning. 'You'll never forgive yourself? You? Well.. Yami, I am not a child. And I may be 'innocent', as Malik puts it, but I've still seen things and done things and I can understand what you're saying, but all you're doing is dragging this out. Either say it now or not at all.'
*+Someday I'll forgive you, maybe
Then again I won't
I'll take no consolation
In what the future holds+*
Yami was sitting on the edge of the couch too, elbows resting on knees, staring resignedly at the floor. 'Okay. I'm going, Yugi, you're right. But.. I am sorry, and I am doing this for me, and only me. You might call it selfish. It's not your fault. And besides, you have better friends than me. Joey, Ryou. They've been there for you longer than I have, and will be in years to come-,'
Yugi cut Yami off again. 'Stop. Don't drag this out.'
'I don't want to make this any harder than it has to be.'
'It doesn't have to be hard!' Yugi's voice rose at the end, slightly higher and a little louder, showing how angry he was. Yami had never seen Yugi angry before. Well, not like this anyway.
*+Don't let me down easy, just let me go,
Don't tell me you'll call me, when we already know
This goodbye will last forever,
So let the bad times roll,
Don't let me down easy,
Don't let me down easy
..That's a hard way to go.+*
Yami chanced a look at Yugi. His hikari was leaning back into the cushions of the couch, watching him expectantly, as if he was waiting for an answer. Yami took the hint. 'Yugi, listen, you are still my friend, and I'll be in touch. It's not like we're going to be cut off from each other.'
Yugi merely looked at him.
Yami opened his mouth to speak, but Yugi held up a hand, silencing him and taking over. 'Just tell me the truth. Nothing else, no reasons, no promises.. I just want to know.'
'I'm going away. It will probably be forever, if I'm honest. In truth, I.. I don't want this anymore. I deserve to have my own life, not just as 'Yugi's yami'.'
Yugi gritted his teeth, feeling the tension in his jaw. 'To whom do I owe the pleasure?' He was behaving in a very un-Yugi-like way, and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself.
Yami looked at the ceiling. 'Anzu. She was the one I spoke to when I couldn't speak to you. And what she said made sense. She was only trying to make me feel better but it was the right thing to do.'
Yugi felt his anger flare up again. This was all down to Téa! What had he ever done to her?
Yami got up, walked over to the door, Yugi following, opened it, and stepped out, pulling it shut behind him. When it was nearly closed he stuck his head back through. 'And Yugi, don't take this out on her. It was my choice in the end.'
Only when the door was closed properly did Yugi speak. 'Her name is Téa.'
**--**
*+I shoulda seen it coming,
I shoulda faced the facts.+*
The weeks passed, and Yugi got on with his life, going to school, being with his friends-Téa included-but deep down inside, when he least expected it, he would think about Yami. It was happening a lot, and Yugi still felt as though his questions had gone unanswered.
Why exactly had Yami left? He knew he wasn't just 'Yugi's yami'. Why didn't he call his hikari 'aibou' anymore? When had that changed? When had they begun to drift apart? Or were they always like that, and had simply hit breaking point?
However, the more Yugi looked at it, the plainer it had become. All good things must come to an end, and his friendship with Yami was long overdue. He had finally accepted that, to some extent moved on. Even so, he couldn't stop his mind wandering late at night, replaying that afternoon in his head like a video clip.
In the end, Ryou had intervened, telling Yugi that Yami was out of his life, however hard it may be to come to terms with it, and that he should focus on the things he had left. Yugi had taken these words to heart, and had set about packing away anything to do with Yami.
Eventually, he had reached the very last item, a photograph of himself and Yami in the middle of a duel. Just looking at it had caused such a powerful flash of pain and longing that Yugi left it where he had dropped it, not even daring to clear up the broken glass from the frame. Weeks on, it was still there, face down, crystal shards scattered, and all was clear finally.
Yugi had loved Yami, it was as simple as that.
And that just made it hurt even more.
*+The more love that I gave you
The less love you gave back.+*
But now, Yugi thought less about the day his darker half left, and more about the weeks and months that preceded it. To his eyes, it was so obvious that he liked him, that to Yami it must have been staring at him the whole time. Through the light's violet orbs, Yami had left because he, Yugi, was being too obvious, and this had made him feel uncomfortable.
Yugi truly and firmly believed that Yami had gone because of him. Yami hadn't been as close to him in the past few months, but Yugi knew how people could vary. Besides, Yami had put up with him through the times when he had been like that, and he owed him enough to be able to live with his mood swings. But looking back, Yami never had mood swings.. not that he was predictable.
*+Guess I thought you'd come around,
Yeah, well, we all make mistakes+*
Yugi contemplated all this yet again, standing on the bridge along which he walked every day on his way home from school. He had said goodbye to the rest of his friends several hours ago, and stood staring into the black water as night fell around him. The river was unusually calm, though ripples glittered across the surface of the waters.. ripples that were Yugi's doing.
He didn't bother trying to hide the fact that he was crying. Yami had taught him long ago that to cry wasn't something that made you weak. Yugi stood on tiptoe and looked over the edge of the bridge, seeing his reflection a long way away. But the reflection changed smoothly into Yami.
'It's not your fault.'
Yugi was overcome with a fresh wave of tears, and he laid his head on his arms as they made their way down his face, but after several minutes of quiet sobbing he looked down at his reflection and spoke to it, wishing his dark side could hear him.
'So you say.. but it's not true, is it? You lied to me. Well, I was lying to me too.. I loved you, I still do. And you knew and you still left me and.. and.. why do I have to love you this much? Why can't I just be your friend? ..Your ..your aibou? Why not?'
Far from content, but with his heart a little more settled at finally saying what he had thought for so long, Yugi leant out over the edge of the bridge, watching the water as day slowly faded into dusk, and then into night.
*+There ain't nothing good about this..
There ain't nothing left to say.+*
Memories flashed through Yugi's mind. They had been happy at the time, but now they were painful, physically jerking more tears from him. The water wasn't calm anymore, the river below him a miniature tempest.
Yugi realised with a start that it must be getting late, and he really should be going home. Looking up above him, he noticed a full moon, and a sky that was sprinkled with stars. Yugi wished with all his heart that Yami could hear him, and that if he could, just to let him know.. then he was free to go.
*+Don't let me down easy
Just let me go+*
He tried to calm his breathing and swiped his hands over his cheekbones in an attempt to dispose of the few remaining tears.
The walk home was a short one, taking only five minutes, although for Yugi it seemed to go far too quickly. He knew it wasn't safe to be out alone at night, but he didn't want to go back to his lonely house to find the answering machine without a message from his beloved Yami. Deep down inside, he knew there was no chance that there would have been a call, no possibility of a letter or other contact.
*+Don't tell me you'll call me, when we already know
This goodbye will last forever,
So let the bad times roll+*
Yugi rounded the corner and looked down at the house he called home. It wasn't very homely anymore. Yugi frowned.
The light in the living room was switched on.
Had he left it on that morning? He knew he had been in a rush, having overslept terribly, and had run in there to search for his History folder.. but he wasn't usually that careless.
The other possibility was that Malik had run out of food again and had let himself in-picked the lock, in other words-eaten what he wanted, and fallen asleep in front of the television. It wouldn't be the first time.
Yugi sighed, unlocked the door and stepped through, putting his bag down and shrugging out of his coat. He made his way towards the living room, ready to wake Malik up and persuade him to go home, but instead-
'Aibou. We need to talk.'
**--**
'So.. what you're saying is.. wait. You haven't told me anything yet. All you've done is ask how I am and tell me how you are.'
'Well, Yugi, I'm here to tell you why I left in the first place.'
Yugi's heart sank; this wasn't what he wanted to hear! He wanted to know if Yami was staying, and it was taking all of his strength to restrain himself from hugging him to death.
'I will almost definitely be going away again after this. But you have a right to know why I left.'
Yugi didn't say anything. Yami looked at him and carried on. 'The truth is, well.. Yugi, it might be easier to understand if I showed you, rather than trying to explain.'
Yugi nodded. 'Okay.'
Yami smiled. 'Thank you. But you must promise to listen to what I have to say afterwards too.'
*+Don't let me down easy+*
Yugi nodded again. 'Sure.'
Yami leant forward and brushed his lips against his hikari's. Then he pulled back and began to speak. Yugi simply sat watching, touching his mouth, his pulse racing. Did this mean what he thought it did?
'Yugi, the reason that I left was because.. well, I have feelings for you as more than my hikari.. as you have just seen. And I didn't want to carry on living under the same roof as you knowing that, because there was always the chance I would do something I would regret that might mess things up for good between us. It got to the point where I was worried to be too near to you because I felt so strongly.
'I couldn't tell you about it, so I went to Anzu. When I said I wanted things to go back to how they were, she said I had two options: tell you or leave you.
'I took the second one, on the basis that I might lose you anyway, but now I'm not so sure I made the right decision. So I decided to be totally honest with you, aibou, as you always were with me.
'If you can't deal with this, tell me straight away, I don't want you to put up with it just because you don't want to hurt me.. it won't. Remember when I said you were really a strong person?'
*+Don't let me down easy+*
Yugi wondered how his yami could think he had forgotten. It had been one of the things that got him through the past few weeks.
'Well, I want you to be strong now, okay?'
Yugi nodded. 'Yami.. why did you come back at all if you're just going to go away again? What's the point in telling me all of this if it doesn't make a difference?'
Yami looked up at the ceiling, then at the floor. He stretched his legs out in front of him and put his hands behind his head. Then he shifted position slightly, folding his arms and looking directly into Yugi's eyes. 'You deserve to know. You never lied to me. And.. I think I love you.'
Yugi felt his heart beating so quickly and loudly that he was sure that Yami could hear it. He hesitated slightly, but one glance at his other half told him that it was okay to speak.
'Yami.. I have a confession to make. You said I never lied to you, but I did. Except, I didn't know it-I was lying to myself as well. I couldn't see what was right in front of me-I thought it was my fault you left.. and.. well, Yami..'
Yugi broke off. He couldn't say it. He tried again, but it wasn't working; the words were gone before he had a chance to use them. Inwardly he was cursing himself-he had wished all these weeks for a chance to say it, and now that he had that chance, he found that he couldn't.
Yami smiled slightly, placing his hand on his hikari's. 'It's okay. You don't have to say anything.'
'I don't?'
'No.' Yami stood up. 'I understand.' He began to walk away from Yugi, out of sight. Yugi simply sat there, stunned at what had just happened. He didn't even wonder why he was now alone in the room until he heard the front door click shut softly.
*+That's a hard way to go+*
Yugi froze. And then he ran. Was Yami going again? He made his way outside, feet barely touching the ground, to see his other half walking away from him forever, head bowed.
'Yami!' The word tore itself from Yugi's lungs, spreading through the vicinity like lava. Yami's shadowy figure stopped, looked back for a fraction of a second, then carried on.
Yugi shouted again. 'Yami!' This time with a hint of desperation. He couldn't be leaving again.. not after the events of the past hour.
And then Yugi realised that nothing he could say would make his yami stay. He had to show him.
Yugi ran, gaining on the taller one with every step, until he was close enough to fling his arms around his waist and knock him to the ground. They fell together, Yugi not thinking, Yami confused and disbelieving. Yugi disentangled himself from his dark and got to his feet.
'Please, Yami, even if you're going, let me show you this one last thing.'
Yami also stood up. He shook his head, but Yugi's silent protest crumbled his resolve. 'Okay.'
Yugi led Yami back to the house, where the door was wide open and all the lights were blazing. He dragged him into the small room where he slept, and pointed to the object on the wooden floor. 'There.'
'What is it?'
'Just look.'
And look Yami did. He bent down, and picked it up. And then he turned his gaze back to Yugi. 'What does this mean? You were angry with me.. yes. I know that.'
Yugi shook his head vehemently. 'No. After you went, I put away all your things. You know, because you weren't coming back. But.. I couldn't put this away. I.. missed you so much when I saw it, it hurt so much, that I didn't dare to. I dropped it and I couldn't even pick up the glass.. Yami, that was the moment I realised I loved you.'
Yami was still sat on the floor, looking at the photo of himself and Yugi. And then he did the very last thing the hikari expected him to. He put the picture down, and picked up the shards of glass, letting them run through his fingers. Yugi watched silently, sure that the usually hard, confident eyes were brimming with tears.
Yugi sat carefully on the edge of his bed. Never for one minute had he thought that he would have to be the strong one in this equation.
Yami pulled himself together, touched the glass one last time, and sat next to Yugi, staring out the window. Yugi followed his gaze and saw that the sun was rising. Had he been up all night?
'Yami, the sun's rising.'
'I know.'
'Pretty, isn't it?'
'Ssh, Yugi.' Yami hushed the smaller one, holding a finger to his lips. Yugi smiled and Yami lifted the finger away, but in the same moment pulled the light to him, holding him close so that he was almost sat on top of him. Yugi leant into the embrace, resting his head on Yami's chest, seeking warmth. Yami leaned his head on top of Yugi's. They stayed like that for several minutes, watching the sun rise, throwing colour out into the day.
'Yami?'
'Yes?'
'What do we do now?'
'Well, aibou, we could go to sleep..'
'Yeah..'
'Or, we could clear up all that broken glass..'
'Mmm..'
'Or.. I could kiss you until the room spins.'
'I like the sound of the kissing.'
'Me too.'
So they did.
**--**
Look, fluff! *points* I can write fluff!! *grin* Okay, I'm weird, but I'm happy with the way this turned out. I only wrote it because I couldn't write anything else until I got rid of the idea. But.. I want to know people's reactions-did you laugh, cry, whatever? So.. please review-that little purple button-go click it!!
The story is based around Don't Let Me Down Easy by Kim Richey. If you haven't heard the song.. don't worry, 'cause neither had I until Thursday last week, when someone bought me her album to 'see how I'd react'.
Rating: PG-13.. no real reason except the situation.. and slight yaoi, so if you don't like it, don't read it!
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! is not, I repeat NOT mine, so no lawsuits please! And I also don't own the song Don't Let Me Down Easy by Kim Richey, not that owning songs is my thing, but it would be nice to have that kind of talent.
Authoress' comments: None, except I made up the thing about Téa's name, so no flames for that please! Oh, and Ryou's 'darker streaks' is NOT referring to Bakura. It's about the way he thinks.. I love the idea of dark-side Ryou- ness!
Okayyyyy.. roll the fic!!
**--**
Just when you think life has got past that stage, it backtracks furiously to pick up the one point that you could deal with then, but not now. It's one of the things that is guaranteed to happen to everyone at least once, although few people realise that, and the inevitable 'Why me?' floats to the surface.
Yugi wasn't really one of those people, although you could say that he'd had a little extra help. His yami had always been there to offer support and advice, and sometimes, when things got too heavy, to take over the task in hand. But, everyone has their off days.
The stormclouds gathering in the sky should have counted as an omen. Storms weren't really unusual, but today the clouds were darkest grey and so thick they seemed to cast a shadow over the whole city. Yugi couldn't work out why Ryou liked the rain, save for the fact that Ryou's darker streaks came into their own on rainy days.
So Ryou was happy that day, and Yugi was about the same as he made his way home, skipping at first, then running slightly because it was drizzling and he hated getting his hair wet. Being the sensible type, he had his key in his hand, but just as he reached to let himself in, the door opened on its own.
Well, not exactly. Yami was on the other side of the door. 'Yugi!'
'Hey, Yami.' Yugi dropped his bag, and began making his way into the kitchen, only to be greeted by his taller brunette friend. 'Téa! What are you doing here?' Yugi questioned innocently, looking in the refrigerator for something to eat.
'Anzu was just leaving,' said Yami, calling Téa by the Egyptian version of her name. Recently, that had been creeping up on Yugi, digging under his skin when he least expected it, but he had always been able to shake it off; it was something Yami had done for years. Now, though, it hit him so hard he had to fight to stop himself doubling over.
'Actually, Yami, I wasn't.' Téa's voice was as friendly and conversational as always, but the edge was still noticeable. 'I wanted to talk to Yugi.'
'Really? Well, as he is my aibou, I think I also have the right to speak to him.'
Yugi stiffened. Yami hadn't called him 'aibou' in a long time. And Téa had always got on so well with his darker half. He really didn't want his friends fighting when his day had gone so well. It seemed as though they'd had a disagreement before he arrived. However, he barely had time to think this through when the girl's voice snapped him back to reality.
Téa was directing her words towards Yami, who looked torn. 'You're going to have to tell him sooner or later, Yami. He's going to find out one way or another.' She spoke with none of her earlier anger, merely sadness.
She stepped out of the door, her eyes resting on Yugi for a moment before her gaze shifted to Yami. She gave him a long, lingering look that seemed to stay even after she had closed the door behind her retreating form.
Yugi looked up, his violet eyes full of concern. 'Yami?'
'Yugi. We need to talk, I'm afraid.'
**--**
*+The choice of words don't matter
The meaning's still the same+*
'So.. what you're saying is.. that you need some time to think things through, and you want to reconsider your place in everything.'
An hour had passed, and the pair were now sitting on the couch in their living room, Yugi sitting on the edge, hands in his hair, and Yami leaning back with a defeated air.
'Yes, Yugi.'
Yugi sat up and turned to face his dark abruptly. 'No, that's not it at all! What you mean is, you're going, you're leaving me on my own and..' A terrible thought struck Yugi. 'It's not because you've fallen in love with Téa and you don't want to live with me anymore, is it?'
Yami sighed heavily. 'Anzu is part of it, yes.' Yugi closed his eyes and Yami continued quickly. 'But not like that. She's a friend. Just like you are, and it was she who made me see that I'm becoming too linked to you, forgetting that I am my own person.'
*+It won't make me feel better
To hear I'm not to blame+*
Yugi, eyes still closed, swallowed hard, and Yami spoke again.
'It's not your fault.'
'I know that. I know. But.. why now? Why not after Battle City or.. or.. I don't know! But why now? Years and years later, when I'm just living my life like I should?'
'Yugi, please. It hasn't been years and years-,'
'It feels like it!'
'-And I doubt I will ever forgive myself for doing this now and disrupting everything once more-,'
Yugi could feel the backs of his eyes burning. 'You'll never forgive yourself? You? Well.. Yami, I am not a child. And I may be 'innocent', as Malik puts it, but I've still seen things and done things and I can understand what you're saying, but all you're doing is dragging this out. Either say it now or not at all.'
*+Someday I'll forgive you, maybe
Then again I won't
I'll take no consolation
In what the future holds+*
Yami was sitting on the edge of the couch too, elbows resting on knees, staring resignedly at the floor. 'Okay. I'm going, Yugi, you're right. But.. I am sorry, and I am doing this for me, and only me. You might call it selfish. It's not your fault. And besides, you have better friends than me. Joey, Ryou. They've been there for you longer than I have, and will be in years to come-,'
Yugi cut Yami off again. 'Stop. Don't drag this out.'
'I don't want to make this any harder than it has to be.'
'It doesn't have to be hard!' Yugi's voice rose at the end, slightly higher and a little louder, showing how angry he was. Yami had never seen Yugi angry before. Well, not like this anyway.
*+Don't let me down easy, just let me go,
Don't tell me you'll call me, when we already know
This goodbye will last forever,
So let the bad times roll,
Don't let me down easy,
Don't let me down easy
..That's a hard way to go.+*
Yami chanced a look at Yugi. His hikari was leaning back into the cushions of the couch, watching him expectantly, as if he was waiting for an answer. Yami took the hint. 'Yugi, listen, you are still my friend, and I'll be in touch. It's not like we're going to be cut off from each other.'
Yugi merely looked at him.
Yami opened his mouth to speak, but Yugi held up a hand, silencing him and taking over. 'Just tell me the truth. Nothing else, no reasons, no promises.. I just want to know.'
'I'm going away. It will probably be forever, if I'm honest. In truth, I.. I don't want this anymore. I deserve to have my own life, not just as 'Yugi's yami'.'
Yugi gritted his teeth, feeling the tension in his jaw. 'To whom do I owe the pleasure?' He was behaving in a very un-Yugi-like way, and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself.
Yami looked at the ceiling. 'Anzu. She was the one I spoke to when I couldn't speak to you. And what she said made sense. She was only trying to make me feel better but it was the right thing to do.'
Yugi felt his anger flare up again. This was all down to Téa! What had he ever done to her?
Yami got up, walked over to the door, Yugi following, opened it, and stepped out, pulling it shut behind him. When it was nearly closed he stuck his head back through. 'And Yugi, don't take this out on her. It was my choice in the end.'
Only when the door was closed properly did Yugi speak. 'Her name is Téa.'
**--**
*+I shoulda seen it coming,
I shoulda faced the facts.+*
The weeks passed, and Yugi got on with his life, going to school, being with his friends-Téa included-but deep down inside, when he least expected it, he would think about Yami. It was happening a lot, and Yugi still felt as though his questions had gone unanswered.
Why exactly had Yami left? He knew he wasn't just 'Yugi's yami'. Why didn't he call his hikari 'aibou' anymore? When had that changed? When had they begun to drift apart? Or were they always like that, and had simply hit breaking point?
However, the more Yugi looked at it, the plainer it had become. All good things must come to an end, and his friendship with Yami was long overdue. He had finally accepted that, to some extent moved on. Even so, he couldn't stop his mind wandering late at night, replaying that afternoon in his head like a video clip.
In the end, Ryou had intervened, telling Yugi that Yami was out of his life, however hard it may be to come to terms with it, and that he should focus on the things he had left. Yugi had taken these words to heart, and had set about packing away anything to do with Yami.
Eventually, he had reached the very last item, a photograph of himself and Yami in the middle of a duel. Just looking at it had caused such a powerful flash of pain and longing that Yugi left it where he had dropped it, not even daring to clear up the broken glass from the frame. Weeks on, it was still there, face down, crystal shards scattered, and all was clear finally.
Yugi had loved Yami, it was as simple as that.
And that just made it hurt even more.
*+The more love that I gave you
The less love you gave back.+*
But now, Yugi thought less about the day his darker half left, and more about the weeks and months that preceded it. To his eyes, it was so obvious that he liked him, that to Yami it must have been staring at him the whole time. Through the light's violet orbs, Yami had left because he, Yugi, was being too obvious, and this had made him feel uncomfortable.
Yugi truly and firmly believed that Yami had gone because of him. Yami hadn't been as close to him in the past few months, but Yugi knew how people could vary. Besides, Yami had put up with him through the times when he had been like that, and he owed him enough to be able to live with his mood swings. But looking back, Yami never had mood swings.. not that he was predictable.
*+Guess I thought you'd come around,
Yeah, well, we all make mistakes+*
Yugi contemplated all this yet again, standing on the bridge along which he walked every day on his way home from school. He had said goodbye to the rest of his friends several hours ago, and stood staring into the black water as night fell around him. The river was unusually calm, though ripples glittered across the surface of the waters.. ripples that were Yugi's doing.
He didn't bother trying to hide the fact that he was crying. Yami had taught him long ago that to cry wasn't something that made you weak. Yugi stood on tiptoe and looked over the edge of the bridge, seeing his reflection a long way away. But the reflection changed smoothly into Yami.
'It's not your fault.'
Yugi was overcome with a fresh wave of tears, and he laid his head on his arms as they made their way down his face, but after several minutes of quiet sobbing he looked down at his reflection and spoke to it, wishing his dark side could hear him.
'So you say.. but it's not true, is it? You lied to me. Well, I was lying to me too.. I loved you, I still do. And you knew and you still left me and.. and.. why do I have to love you this much? Why can't I just be your friend? ..Your ..your aibou? Why not?'
Far from content, but with his heart a little more settled at finally saying what he had thought for so long, Yugi leant out over the edge of the bridge, watching the water as day slowly faded into dusk, and then into night.
*+There ain't nothing good about this..
There ain't nothing left to say.+*
Memories flashed through Yugi's mind. They had been happy at the time, but now they were painful, physically jerking more tears from him. The water wasn't calm anymore, the river below him a miniature tempest.
Yugi realised with a start that it must be getting late, and he really should be going home. Looking up above him, he noticed a full moon, and a sky that was sprinkled with stars. Yugi wished with all his heart that Yami could hear him, and that if he could, just to let him know.. then he was free to go.
*+Don't let me down easy
Just let me go+*
He tried to calm his breathing and swiped his hands over his cheekbones in an attempt to dispose of the few remaining tears.
The walk home was a short one, taking only five minutes, although for Yugi it seemed to go far too quickly. He knew it wasn't safe to be out alone at night, but he didn't want to go back to his lonely house to find the answering machine without a message from his beloved Yami. Deep down inside, he knew there was no chance that there would have been a call, no possibility of a letter or other contact.
*+Don't tell me you'll call me, when we already know
This goodbye will last forever,
So let the bad times roll+*
Yugi rounded the corner and looked down at the house he called home. It wasn't very homely anymore. Yugi frowned.
The light in the living room was switched on.
Had he left it on that morning? He knew he had been in a rush, having overslept terribly, and had run in there to search for his History folder.. but he wasn't usually that careless.
The other possibility was that Malik had run out of food again and had let himself in-picked the lock, in other words-eaten what he wanted, and fallen asleep in front of the television. It wouldn't be the first time.
Yugi sighed, unlocked the door and stepped through, putting his bag down and shrugging out of his coat. He made his way towards the living room, ready to wake Malik up and persuade him to go home, but instead-
'Aibou. We need to talk.'
**--**
'So.. what you're saying is.. wait. You haven't told me anything yet. All you've done is ask how I am and tell me how you are.'
'Well, Yugi, I'm here to tell you why I left in the first place.'
Yugi's heart sank; this wasn't what he wanted to hear! He wanted to know if Yami was staying, and it was taking all of his strength to restrain himself from hugging him to death.
'I will almost definitely be going away again after this. But you have a right to know why I left.'
Yugi didn't say anything. Yami looked at him and carried on. 'The truth is, well.. Yugi, it might be easier to understand if I showed you, rather than trying to explain.'
Yugi nodded. 'Okay.'
Yami smiled. 'Thank you. But you must promise to listen to what I have to say afterwards too.'
*+Don't let me down easy+*
Yugi nodded again. 'Sure.'
Yami leant forward and brushed his lips against his hikari's. Then he pulled back and began to speak. Yugi simply sat watching, touching his mouth, his pulse racing. Did this mean what he thought it did?
'Yugi, the reason that I left was because.. well, I have feelings for you as more than my hikari.. as you have just seen. And I didn't want to carry on living under the same roof as you knowing that, because there was always the chance I would do something I would regret that might mess things up for good between us. It got to the point where I was worried to be too near to you because I felt so strongly.
'I couldn't tell you about it, so I went to Anzu. When I said I wanted things to go back to how they were, she said I had two options: tell you or leave you.
'I took the second one, on the basis that I might lose you anyway, but now I'm not so sure I made the right decision. So I decided to be totally honest with you, aibou, as you always were with me.
'If you can't deal with this, tell me straight away, I don't want you to put up with it just because you don't want to hurt me.. it won't. Remember when I said you were really a strong person?'
*+Don't let me down easy+*
Yugi wondered how his yami could think he had forgotten. It had been one of the things that got him through the past few weeks.
'Well, I want you to be strong now, okay?'
Yugi nodded. 'Yami.. why did you come back at all if you're just going to go away again? What's the point in telling me all of this if it doesn't make a difference?'
Yami looked up at the ceiling, then at the floor. He stretched his legs out in front of him and put his hands behind his head. Then he shifted position slightly, folding his arms and looking directly into Yugi's eyes. 'You deserve to know. You never lied to me. And.. I think I love you.'
Yugi felt his heart beating so quickly and loudly that he was sure that Yami could hear it. He hesitated slightly, but one glance at his other half told him that it was okay to speak.
'Yami.. I have a confession to make. You said I never lied to you, but I did. Except, I didn't know it-I was lying to myself as well. I couldn't see what was right in front of me-I thought it was my fault you left.. and.. well, Yami..'
Yugi broke off. He couldn't say it. He tried again, but it wasn't working; the words were gone before he had a chance to use them. Inwardly he was cursing himself-he had wished all these weeks for a chance to say it, and now that he had that chance, he found that he couldn't.
Yami smiled slightly, placing his hand on his hikari's. 'It's okay. You don't have to say anything.'
'I don't?'
'No.' Yami stood up. 'I understand.' He began to walk away from Yugi, out of sight. Yugi simply sat there, stunned at what had just happened. He didn't even wonder why he was now alone in the room until he heard the front door click shut softly.
*+That's a hard way to go+*
Yugi froze. And then he ran. Was Yami going again? He made his way outside, feet barely touching the ground, to see his other half walking away from him forever, head bowed.
'Yami!' The word tore itself from Yugi's lungs, spreading through the vicinity like lava. Yami's shadowy figure stopped, looked back for a fraction of a second, then carried on.
Yugi shouted again. 'Yami!' This time with a hint of desperation. He couldn't be leaving again.. not after the events of the past hour.
And then Yugi realised that nothing he could say would make his yami stay. He had to show him.
Yugi ran, gaining on the taller one with every step, until he was close enough to fling his arms around his waist and knock him to the ground. They fell together, Yugi not thinking, Yami confused and disbelieving. Yugi disentangled himself from his dark and got to his feet.
'Please, Yami, even if you're going, let me show you this one last thing.'
Yami also stood up. He shook his head, but Yugi's silent protest crumbled his resolve. 'Okay.'
Yugi led Yami back to the house, where the door was wide open and all the lights were blazing. He dragged him into the small room where he slept, and pointed to the object on the wooden floor. 'There.'
'What is it?'
'Just look.'
And look Yami did. He bent down, and picked it up. And then he turned his gaze back to Yugi. 'What does this mean? You were angry with me.. yes. I know that.'
Yugi shook his head vehemently. 'No. After you went, I put away all your things. You know, because you weren't coming back. But.. I couldn't put this away. I.. missed you so much when I saw it, it hurt so much, that I didn't dare to. I dropped it and I couldn't even pick up the glass.. Yami, that was the moment I realised I loved you.'
Yami was still sat on the floor, looking at the photo of himself and Yugi. And then he did the very last thing the hikari expected him to. He put the picture down, and picked up the shards of glass, letting them run through his fingers. Yugi watched silently, sure that the usually hard, confident eyes were brimming with tears.
Yugi sat carefully on the edge of his bed. Never for one minute had he thought that he would have to be the strong one in this equation.
Yami pulled himself together, touched the glass one last time, and sat next to Yugi, staring out the window. Yugi followed his gaze and saw that the sun was rising. Had he been up all night?
'Yami, the sun's rising.'
'I know.'
'Pretty, isn't it?'
'Ssh, Yugi.' Yami hushed the smaller one, holding a finger to his lips. Yugi smiled and Yami lifted the finger away, but in the same moment pulled the light to him, holding him close so that he was almost sat on top of him. Yugi leant into the embrace, resting his head on Yami's chest, seeking warmth. Yami leaned his head on top of Yugi's. They stayed like that for several minutes, watching the sun rise, throwing colour out into the day.
'Yami?'
'Yes?'
'What do we do now?'
'Well, aibou, we could go to sleep..'
'Yeah..'
'Or, we could clear up all that broken glass..'
'Mmm..'
'Or.. I could kiss you until the room spins.'
'I like the sound of the kissing.'
'Me too.'
So they did.
**--**
Look, fluff! *points* I can write fluff!! *grin* Okay, I'm weird, but I'm happy with the way this turned out. I only wrote it because I couldn't write anything else until I got rid of the idea. But.. I want to know people's reactions-did you laugh, cry, whatever? So.. please review-that little purple button-go click it!!