This is just a random one shot I wrote…the song used is called "the bad touch" by the bloodhound gang…it's a hilarious song…
Edward's POV
Jasper and Emmett are going to be the end of me! They keep on blasting this song on the stereo that literally forces me to think about how I would just love to take my sweet, desirable, sexy, angel.
Uh not again!! Oh please shut up Emmett!
Emmett and Jasper are singing at the top of their lungs:
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
What?! Was this song created just to temp me?? To make me think about how soft and perky Bella's breasts look, to make me imagine the feel of being inside of her…
"Oh come on Eddie! You know you love this song, sing along with us!" Emmett laughed while he practically yelled at me as he went back to singing the song.
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Love it just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"
"Hey Eddie, does Bella like the X-Files??" jasper asked laughing; oh they did not just drag Bella into this! Like I wasn't having a hard time not thinking about her!! Ugh damn they started the song again!!
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
Oh how I wish I could do the things I crave to do to Bella without hurting her but I cant! Ugh!! "EMMETT! JASPER!! TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!!" I yelled at them. They both laughed and Jasper said, "Some ones feeling a little horny now aren't they?" ugh! A little?! Yeah right, maybe if a little meant a whole lot! They just turned the sound up damn I have to get out of here! But I cant go next to Bella like this I'll jump the poor girl!
Just as they started singing
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel-
I ran out of the house into the forest…ugh I cant wait till the day I will finally be able to take Bella…